Just Like Heaven

His heart was beating so fast he wondered if Thor or Sif could hear it. For Loki, to hear those words coming form his father’s mouth had made him feel somehow free. Like he had been in chains his whole life and those words were the keys to release him, Odin finally understood that Loki simply didn’t belong with them.

And to him it was also a revelation.

He had spent so many years wanting to fit, wanting to belong there, wanting the throne, wanting to be like Thor, when it wasn’t what he needed at all. He didn’t need approval anymore, not from any of them. He feels a hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at Thor, who is looking at him with that look in his eyes that tells him that he understands now. He is not going to hug him, he knows that they are not really that kind of family, so instead he puts his hand on Thor’s shoulder and nods. Sif is looking at both of them and there is relief in her gaze.

He is taken to his chambers after that, where he stays there for a long time. In part wondering what happens next and in part processing all that had happened already. A few hours later there is a knock on the door, Sif enters the room, saluting him with a polite nod, they stare at each other, not really knowing what to say. Then he sees it, on her finger, a shinny gold band.

“When is the wedding?” Loki asks, genuinely curious.

Sif looks at her hand, “We don’t know yet”

He nods. There is another question he means to ask, the obvious one. So when Sif chuckles and rolls her eyes he shrugs.

“We haven’t told anyone”

“Well, Lady Sif, the ring is a dead giveaway” Loki retorts, “Was the brillant idea my brother’s?”

Sif rolls her eyes, “I proposed, actually”

He cringes dramatically, “Too many hits in the head?”

He raises and eyebrow and she tries to suppress a laugh, her lips curving upwards slightly instead. He then looks away, around the room, he wants to ask how long does he have to wait until he can leave, until he can go back to Jane, then he panics mentally, what if Jane had moved on? What if when he gets there she has no place for him?

“Loki”

He blinks at Sif. She looks serious now, like she’s about to deliver some news he doesn’t want to know about.

“Do you really want to do this?”

He looks away, “Odin said it best, this isn’t my place”

She waits a few beats, “He had spoken to the Elders once again”

Loki frowns, “Why?”

And that’s when Thor enters the room, and before closing the doors behind him he looks outside, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear them He looks bothered by something, borderline pissed to be honest and Sif looks at Loki apologetically. And he knows that she wasn’t suppose to speak to him yet, Loki braces himself and raises an eyebrow to Thor.

“Loki” Thor says walking towards him, “Are you sure you want this?” he asks putting a hand in his shoulders.

Loki tenses, because he had never seen Thor so... Concerned about him. He swallows and looks over at Sif. Thor squeezes his shoulders, needing an honest and definite answer from him.

“I want Jane” Loki says, because it’s true, “That’s all I want”

Thor stares at him for a few seconds and then lets him go. He

“The Elders think that a ceremony is necessary” Sif says, “You are going to drink from the Mortality Cup”

Loki’s breath hitches because he knows what it means. Once he drinks from that cup he’s going to be stripped form all his gifts, he’s going to be erased from the books, his memories will be stolen and he will become a mortal. It also means that he won’t have memory of Thor, Sif, Frigga or Jane. It was witness protection program for the Gods.

“Odin said I belong with Jane, to Jane” Loki says, “He said that I could-“

“The Elders think different” Sif says, “They don’t want to let you go off easily after that stunt you pulled”

Loki looks like he was slapped, “Excuse me?”

“Their words not mine” Sif says defensively.

Thor shakes his head, “They think you planned everything with my mother” Thor’s jaw clenched, “They called her a cheating-“

“I did not!” Loki yells, “Those bastards!”

He’s about to get out of the room when Thor stops him, grabbing his arm and closing the doors again.

“I know that” Thor says, “The thing is they think that you did”

“They said that it was a disrespect” Sif adds, “We know you didn’t Loki, nor you, nor Queen Frigga”

Loki licks his lips nervously, “If I drink from that…” he looks at Thor.

“Your memories disappear… Jane disappears” Thor finishes, “I know”

Loki chuckles bitterly, walking towards his bed and sitting, “Isn’t that tragic?” Sif looks at Thor and then at him, “God falls for a mortal, God wants to become mortal to be with her and things go complicated”

He runs a hand through his face and hair tired. He should feel angry, he should feel pissed about the fact that this is so unfair. Instead is sadness what he feels, and that is somehow so much worse.

“Say that again”

He lifts his gaze towards Thor, who had asked him to repeat something. Frowning Loki looks at Sif, who looks as confused as he does. Thor though, is looking like he discovered fire.

“What?”

“Say that again, Loki, about becoming a mortal”

“That I wanted to become one-“

“for Jane” Thor says, “Loki you love being a God, your magik, immortality, you- you were willing to leave all that for Jane”

“I love her more than any of that” Loki says.

“I think he left that clear, Thor” Sif says, “What is so-“

“Does she love you?”

Loki blinks, “She does” and maybe he shouldn’t talk for her but he knows she does, she has to.

Thor looks at Sif and then they both look at Loki.

The party was great. There was way more people than Darcy had told her she had invited but no one had tried to make awkward small talk with her or invited her to dance, so it was good. She claimed a table near the bar, since she had been planning on drinking herself to death. Still, she had only two glasses of wine and a piece of cake. Erik, who had been taking to a woman all night, sees her and walks towards her.

Jane smiles at him as he sits next to her, a glass of champagne in his hand, the third one he had poured himself. He sighs heavily and smiles at her.

“Who was that?” Jane asks, talking about the woman who Erik was talking to.

“An old colleague” Erik says, “She asked me out for drinks”

Jane makes a “oohh” noise and chuckles.

“Are you having fun?”

“Not as much as you” Jane says, taking a sip of wine.

He smiles, “Jane”

“The part is nice”

Erik nods. He then stares at her and taps his fingers on the table.

“I heard you quit your job in the university” Erik says.

She bites her lower lip and looks away.

“Why did you do that?”

She shrugs, “It wasn’t really a job, I was more like covering for you, right?”

“Jane”

“I felt boxed, okay?” She almost yells, she sighs heavily, “I want to do something else with my life, I want to travel, to go other places, to watch the stars just because I can, not because I’m studying them… to just… leave”

She didn’t mean to break down like that, maybe it had been the wine, she hadn’t drink much but she was a lightweight, Darcy always said that. Erik, instead of scolding her, is smiling when she looks at him.

“Why don’t you?” Erik says.

She looks away and shrugs, “I couldn’t leave you” she answers, “Or Darcy, or Catsby!”

Erik laughs, throwing his head back. She frowns at him and presses her lips. The man then grabs her hand and squeezes it softly. He looks at her with kind eyes and sighs heavily, like he’s about to say something he had said so many times.

“Jane, I don’t need you to look after me and neither does Darcy” Erik says, “What you need to do is go out and live… just live” She feels like crying all of sudden.

“How?”

“You’ll figure it out Jane, you always do”

“What if I get scared and want to come back?”

“We will always be here” He says.

They both look towards the dance floor, where Darcy was dancing with her future in-laws. The woman looks at them and grins widely, waving at them. Jane and Erik wave back and then Darcy goes back to dancing. Jane remembers having a similar conversation with Darcy, it was actually the only thing she talked to her about since Loki, after she spent weeks locket in her room. She excuses herself with Ian’s parents and walk towards them.

“Shit! They love me!”

Jane chuckles, “Who wouldn’t?”

Darcy shrugs, “You are totally right” she grins.

“Jane quit her job” Erik said, Jane slaps his shoulder softly.

Darcy’s eyes go wide and she looks at Jane, “Fucking finally!” She says, “That job was killing you!”

Jane shrugs, “I guess”

“She’s going to travel for a while” Erik continues and Jane groans.

Darcy stands from her chair and hugs Jane’s head tightly. Jane chuckles and hugs her back, because Darcy looks genuinely happy for her, and why wouldn’t she, they were friends, sisters and she felt Jane was finally doing what was going to make her truly happy.

“I promise to feed Catsby and Erik on daily basis” Darcy says.

Jane laughs.

Since the ceremony is outdoors the loud sound of thunder crashing through the skies is audible and everyone can see the dark sky turn clear for a second. Darcy pouts.

“They said that it wasn’t going to rain today” Darcy says, taking a sip form Erik’s champagne.

But Jane knows what that sounds means. She stands up and looks up to the sky, Darcy and Erik look at her and then exchange concern looks. Darcy stands and puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Jane, let’s go inside”

“But-“

“It’s not him, Jane” Darcy says, because she knows that look on her face, it was the same look she made for two months every time she heard thunder.

“Yes, Darcy, It’s him”

She runs outside, followed by Darcy and Erik. Both trying to make her go inside, while the sudden rain falls on them.

“Jane, let’s-“

Darcy stops talking once the reach the entrance. And is no surprise that Jane is right. There, in the rain, in the middle of the street, Thor is standing with Sif. Next to him Loki is looking at Jane and just at Jane. She sobs, somehow smiling at the same time, when her eyes meet Loki’s eyes. Darcy looks at Erik, who’s smiling softly, like he knew this was going to happen. Sif pushes Loki’s shoulder like telling him to go to her and he complies, Jane on the other hand, can’t move.

Loki stands a few feet from her looking her like a thirsty man looks at the waterfall. And that’s how he feels.

“You are looking beautiful today” He whispers, still she can hear him.

“Dude” Darcy speaks, “We thought you-“

“I was” Loki nods, because he was actually dead.

Jane walks towards him and slaps him. To everyone’s surprise, including Loki’s.

“It’s my fault, Jane” Thor interferes, “We didn’t know if he would make it, so we thought we were saving you from hurting even more”

But Jane is not paying attention to him. She’s still looking at Loki. Suddenly, while her tears mix with the pouring rain, a smile splits her face. Because Loki, her Loki, the one standing infront of her, looking completely confused, is real.

“It’s really you” She says.

“Oh, Jane”

Loki pulls her into a hug. An embrace that felt like home, an embrace that felt so good and right. She’s crying when he pulls back to take a look at her and still she manages to look beautiful. He kisses her forehead, her nose, her cheeks and then their lips meet in a passionate kiss. He pulls back and looks at her, she caresses his cheek, pink where she slapped him.

“You have got to stop greeting me like that” Loki says.

And Jane laughs. The rain stops after that, without them realising it. Loki is explaining her about the trip to Heaven with his mother and about Erik. Thor interrupts a few minutes later.

“Loki, we have no more time” Thor says.

He nods and then looks back at Jane, “Jane, there is something else”

“What?” Jane scowls.

“Look, Odin allowed me to be with you, but the Elders, very importan-“

“A bunch of assholes want to erase his memory so he can become a mortal but not be with you because, well, they are assholes” Sif says, “So we sneaked him out and now he’s on the run”

“Again” Loki adds.

Jane nods, not really caring if he’s considered a criminal for escaping to be with her.

“Holy shit, that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard” Darcy says.

“Jane, if you don’t want to come with me, I’ll understand, you have a life here and friends and-“

“She doesn’t have a live! Go with him Jane!” Darcy yells.

Jane looks at Loki, “Is that what you are asking me? To run away with you?”

“It wasn’t my plan to ask you to elope once I came back” Loki says, “But it was definitely my plan to ask you to spent the rest of our lives together” he adds, “So if you’d have me-”

“Yes” Jane says, she kisses him, “Yes, Loki, yes, to everything”

Sif has two leather bags and gives one to each. Jane looks at her and then holds her hand, running her thumb against the Golden ring she’s wearing. Sif looks at her and Jane smiles, hugging her tightly.

“I wish you the best” She says.

“Me too” Sif says, “I put several dresses your size, some pants, boots, shoes and a dagger” She says, “In case this one gets difficult” She puts her hand on Loki’s shoulder the man huffs.

Jane then looks at Thor and they hug, “Thank you, Thor”

He smiles against her hair, “Be happy Jane”

Jane turns to Erik and Darcy. The old man is smiling at her, a proud smile that made Jane feel like they are not saying goodbye but until later, Darcy runs towards her and hugs her, crying against her cheek. She pulls back and stares at the both of them.

“Call me whenever you can” Darcy says, “Or text, or write, or send me a god dammed owl like in-“

“Harry Potter” Jane finishes and Darcy smiles, “I’m going to miss your wedding”

Darcy waves, “Ian and I got married like three months ago in Vegas, I was just buttering up the in laws”

“Darcy!” Jane exclaims.

Erik laughs, “Classic Darcy”

Jane turn to him and hugs him tightly, “I will see you”

Erik nods, he pulls back and cups her face, “Go watch the stars, Jane”

She nods and then Loki is holding her hand. On his other hand he has a Golden compass, it looks old, and when he opens it it looks different than any other compass he has seen. Inside, it looks like it has a galaxy. Sif explains that is a Travelling Compass, only a few exist,with it they could go wherever in the galaxy they wanted in a matter of seconds.

Sif and Thor join Darcy and Erik a few steps back. It was the oddest group of people and Jane was happy to call the family. She feels Loki squeeze her hand and she looks at him, he looks back at her, a mixture of fear and joy in his green eyes.

Her brown eyes look at him and she squeezes his hand softly. That’s when he knows he must not fear, because Jane Foster is letting him now that she was going to walk the line for him, with him, while they travel the universe together, while he shows her the stars and the moons, always there for her. Always together.

And it feels just like heaven.