Them against the world
Regulus really had the worst luck.
“OMG. Reggie, hey!” James called from the back of the classroom.
Regulus winced at the nickname, cursing whatever god he’d angered in his past life.
Everyone turned to look at him as James continued to wave. ‘ Universe, what did I ever do to you?’ he asked to the sky, who of course gave no reply. Much to his annoyment.
He made his way slowly towards James, eyes fixated on the floor. Head down to avoid the blazing eyes of the delinquent teens in the room.
“Hey, you weren't here last week. I was starting to think that you were becoming a good student” James smirked, Regulus sitting down next to him as he sighed.
“No, unfortunately me and my big mouth seem to enjoy having my Friday nights of doing nothing taken away from me.” Regules replied in a sarcastic tone. Head turned to the side as he gave James a bored stare.
“Well I quite enjoy our weekly meetups, so I can't say I’m too disappointed.” James replied with a large grin.
Regulus rolled his eyes, giving him a small smile in return. He would never admit it to James, but he also enjoyed the time they spent together. If he was honest, he would even find himself looking forward to it, it quickly became the highlight of his week. A good excuse to not have to go back to that house.
The Friday nights that he was complaining about missing, were not in fact relaxing or restful. Instead they would consist of him sitting on the bedroom floor, crying quietly to himself as Mr.J yelled at him from outside the door.
“LYRA! Get your fucking ass over here before I knock down that door.”
Silence.
“You fucking idiot get out of there and take the boy to his karate lesson or i will go in that room and drag you out myself!”
More silence.
“ If you don't come out of there right now your not getting anything to eat for dinner! Do you hear me girl or are you wearing those fucking headphones again?! I swear to god that if I see you wearing those thing again I’m going to take them and that fucking phone of yours that you cant seem to spend two fucking seconds without!”
Regulus would never come out of the room, he would spend the rest of the evening on his own, hungry and sobbing as he wondered ‘why me?’ What had he done that was so wrong that he deserved this?
He never got his answer.
Instead he sat, crying, writing and listening to music as the melodies filled his dreams with worlds of magic and realities where he Sirius where still together. Where he wasn't on his own. Scribbling words in his delusions and solitude.
'Cause if you're gonna leave
Better leave, better do it fast
Can't live another minute
Bleeding from my back
'Cause I don't have another one
For you to stab
And I don't want to have
Another heart attack.
His aching, untold secrets that pulsated like a wound in his heart. Thoughts of another life that never left his pounding head as his heart blead over and over again with every new flashing image that ran across his pained mind.
He would always curse the sky when he woke up the next morning, still sitting with his back to the door. Forever still.
Every morning, every time he opened his eyes. He would be filled with misplaced anger. Mad at the universe for taking him out of his enchanted world, mad for regaining consciousness, mad to be alive.
Regulus tried to not focus on the bad, he wasn't there right now. Right now he was far away from that place. Right now, he wasn't alone. Right now, he had James.
“Why?” Regulus asked cryptically, not wanting to seem too interested in the other boy but wanting to start a conversation. He didn't want to be alone.
Even if James had no idea who he was, didn't remember the long and painful history between them, he was still one of the only comforts in his life. And he never want to lose that.
“Why what?” James turned towards him, a puzzled look dancing on his handsome features. He really was breath-taking, like the first hint of summer in spring.
“Why are you here? Why are you in detention every week?”
“Same as you, I suppose. Just can’t sit still. Never been one for rules or order. I much rather be a free spirit than one tied to baseless rules that are only really here to control us.” James answered, all arrogance gone from his tone. Instead, his eyes were filled with innocence and vulnerability.
To anyone else, his answer may have seemed like just the words of a teenage rebel. One that wanted to escape the incoming burdens of adulthood and responsibility. But to Regulus, his answer wasnt ignorant. It was innocent, naive, but correct. The schools main focus did seem to be to mold them into ‘fuctioning adults’. In doing so however, they took most of there creativity, hopes and dreams, and crushed them. It was designed to create the perfect working adult; submissive and afraid of authority, and it worked. For the most part at least.
Regulus however, did enjoy rules and order. He disagreed on how they were put on and what most of them stood for, but he would never consider himself a ‘free spirit’.
“No, it’s not the same for me. We are not the same. I like rules. I enjoy following them. I just- I- when I consider something wrong I make sure that everyone knows, and yes sometimes that causes me to break the rules but that’s not because I don't want responsibility, its because as young and naive as this make me sound; I wish that we lived in a world without injustice. Maybe that way, we’d all stop hating and killing each other. Maybe, that way children could grow up loved and around people who care about them, instead of alone and starved for any kind of affection”
Regulus was upset, he knew why. He wished that he would just shut up. Just stop talking, but he couldn’t. He was hurt, and he was mad, and he just wanted someone to understand. He wanted someone to hear him when he spoke.
“You may not enjoy breaking the rules, but you are like me. You’re here every week, same as me. Standing up for what you believe in. Not taking any bullshit from those who disagree with your way of thinking.”
“I-'' Regulus was at a loss for words. James was right.
James smiled at him warmly, a glint of understanding is his comforting brown eyes. “Well whatever the reason for why you're here, I'm happy that you are.”
Regulus just stared at him, he still doesn't understand how someone could enjoy his company. It's not as if he's a particularly interesting or pleasant person to be around.
“Hey, you know what?” James says with a broad grin, shifting the conversion fully, which Regulus was very thankful for.
“What?”
“Next time you have gym, skip it with me.” James says in all seriousness, with only a hint of mischief in the way he stares into Regulus’ soul.
“I- what- no. I- I can't do that!” he replied outrage present in his expression and voice.”
“And why not?” James answered back, only mildly offended by Regulus’ obvious displeasure at the idea. “You just admitted to me that deep down you like breaking the rules, so then do something irresponsible, break a few rules.”
“I- that's not what I said.” Regulus argues back quickly.
“No, but it's what you meant.” James replies just as quickly.
“I- '' and Regulus is running out of ways to say no, because truly he wants to do it. He wants to go with James and just be dumb teenagers together. No rules, no responsibility, just them against the world.
“Ok.” he finally replies after a long moment of thinking.
“Ok?” James replies quickly, a look of hope in his gleaming eyes that makes Regulus want to give him the world.
“Ok. Yeah, let's do it.” He says again, allowing himself to smile. He knows that he probably shouldn’t, but he wants to. He really wants too, and anyway, it's not like he's going to be here much longer, so what's the harm in breaking a few more rules?
“YES!” James shouts excitedly, Regulus winces at the sudden change in volume and the now numerous eyes that are on them. “You will not regret this! Trust me! It's gonna be amazing.”
Regulus can't help himself from smiling as the older buy jumps up and down from excitement. He can't help but think about what his life could have been if he wasn't born into a horrible family, if he wasn't born feeling like he wanted to tear his own body to shreds. Would he be able to get this excited at such a small request? He doubts it, but he hopes that he would. Maybe in some alternate universe, he is a happy teen that gets excited by everything and anything. But… just not this one.
Still, as he gazes rather fondly at James, he feels the excitement rise inside of him. The will to mirror James’ reaction seeping itself into his bones.
“Ok, when’s you next gym class?” James askes in a hushed tone, leaning in closer to Regulus to ensure that they aren't being overheard. Already coming up with some sort of scheme on how to get away with it. Though, if his Friday nights are any indication. They are more likely than not to get caught, but Regulus finds himself not minding. Ready to follow whatever plan James has come up with.
“Tuesday afternoon. It's a double period.” Regulus replies in the same hushed tone, trying very hard not to blush as he feels James’ breath lightly graze the delicate skin on his neck.
“That's perfect! That way, we get the entire afternoon!” he says grinning, smile as bright as the sun.
“Just one thing, I have a curfew. I have to go pick up my foster brother at school at 5pm. Is that ok?” Regulus asks unsure.
He would rather have not revealed this piece of information about himself to James, but he feels safe around him. He doesn't feel like he has to hide, not like when hes talking to his other classmates. Even Evan and Dorcas dont know the full extent of his sitiuatin. He trusts them, he does, but its not the same as when hes with James. He and James have history, he knew Regulus even before he left. He doesn't need to be explained all the horrors of his life. He lived with them with him.
Even if James doesn't remember him right now. He hopes that maybe one day, he might.
To his credit, James only pauses fora second, a sad look filling his eyes. He doesn’t become awkward or apologetic, he just stares at him for a short while. His eyes turning back to mischief. “Yes, that's fine. I can't wait to meet your family.”
“What- I- I didn't say that you could meet them.” Regulus frowns, slightly confused on how James came to that very wrong conclusion. Not too mention, they are not his family, and besides. James has already met his family. He just doesn't know it yet.
“Well I have to accompany you to your final destination. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.” James grins as if its the most obvious thing in the world.
“Is that even a word?” He asks skeptically.
James shrugs. “Anyway, at 2:30 pm, let's meet at the corner next to the school. I can show you around the city.”
Regulus pauses, trying very hard to not face palm. “If we meet near school theres a very high possibility that they find us. Let's meet at the coffee shop down the street instead. We’re less likely to discovered that way.” If Regulus is going to do this, he's going to do it right.
“Done this before have you?” James smirks, almost proud.
“Nope, I'm just not an idiot” Regulus smirks back.
☆
When he finally makes it to his room, he begins to regret his decision to go on some wild adventure with James. He wants to go, but he knows that he shouldn't. Besides the obvious, that this could lead him to getting detention again . It would also increase the chances of James figuring out who he is and telling Sirius, if he even remembers him.
He's beginning to wonder if he does. James hasn't mentioned once that he looks or sounds like anyone he knows, and sure maybe that's not what you say to someone you just met, but he feels like James should have said something. Anything. Even a look of recognition would have been enough for Regulus to imagine that James had not forgotten him the second he left Washington.
For better or for worse however, James never did. He always treated Regulus like a complete stranger, not once did he express any sense of past familiarity towards him. The idea made his heart ache. This is the man that he fell in love with at 12 years old, the person he would have given the world too, the boy who never spared him a second glance except for when looking at Sirius’ ‘perfect’ little ‘sister’.
His first love didn't even recognise him.
Even if rationally it makes sense, he looked so different, but some part of him had always hoped that he just… felt it. That he didn't need to recognise him by looks or voice. That he would just… know.
‘I guess i was wrong,’
☆
When Tuesday finally arrives, Regulus is still conflicted. The image of James waiting for him, alone, in a coffee shop creates an uncomfortable knot in his stomach. Then again, the thought of breaking the rules, has the same effect, only a little less painful.
‘Better to go with the lesser evil, huh?’ he finds himself thinking as he stares at the clock in the back of the classroom.
Tik, tock. Tick, tock.
Regulus glares at it as if it had done something to personally hurt him.
“What are you doing?” Evan whispers next to him.
“Making a very important decision.” Regulus whispers back, still distracted by the clock.
“It tell you any secrets?” Barty snorts from his other side.
“Why yes Barty, that is exactly it. I am staring at this fucking clock because I'm waiting for it to tell me the secrets of the universe” Regulus dead pans.
“Are you not doing that?” Barty retorts, eyebrow raised.
Regulus finally turns to him. Bored look on his face. Technically, Barty isn't wrong. He was waiting for that clock to somehow tell him what the right thing to do was, but he won't admit that to him. That would just make him look crazy.
“I'm not, not doing that. I'm thinking.”
“Bout’ what?”
“If someone that you didn't really like, but did not not like, asked you to go somewhere with them, and it sounded like a lot of fun, but it would also cause you to compromise your morals. Would you do it?” Regulus asked spectically. Careful to try and not spill too many details, but in dire need of advice, and he supposes that Barty is as good as anyone.
After all, he managed to get Evan without Evan even seeming to realize, so he must be doing something right.
“Oof got a date with an ex?” Barty asks with a look of sympathy and understanding.
“Of some sort, yeah.” Regulus replies, eyes fixed on the desk in front of him.
“Do you still like them?” Barty smirks.
“I- I’m not sure” Regulus can feel the heat begin to rise to his cheeks.
Barty scoffs. “Your cheeks are sure. You're more red than a bloody tomato.”
Regulus’ blush deepens.
“If she still makes you blush like that, then I say go for it.”
“She?” Regulus snorts.
Bart goes white. “Oh shit- that's not what I meant. I didn't mean to assume- sorry?”
Regulus lets out a breathless laugh. Out of all the reactions he'd imagined Barty to have, apologizing was definitely not one of them.
“Don't worry about it, but yeah, not she. He is a pain in the ass though, but I think you're right. This way I can get rid of these stupid feelings.” Regulus says, eyes determined.
“Seems like more than just ‘feelings’, but ok,” Evan murmurs to himself. Not quiet enough for Regulus too not hear him, but he decides to leave it. It's not like Evan is one to talk anyway.
☆
2:25pm
Regulus walks into the caffe with the big chalk letter that speel out ‘THREE BROOMSTICKS’. Its more of a restaurant than a caffee, but they serve coffee so he imagines it doesnt really matter.
His are hand shaking, teeth clattering from the anxiety that James won't be there. ‘ What if this was all a practical joke?’. ‘What if I'm doing the wrong thing?’ his brain unhelpfully supplies him.
Not for the first time however, his intrusive thoughts are wrong. There, sitting in the back with two cups of coffee is James. His head is resting on the back of his hand, a pensive look dancing across his features.
Regulus smiles softly to himself as makes his way over to James.
“You came!” James grins, and Regulus’ world feels a little brighter.
“I wouldn't miss it for the world,” he smirks back.
Yeah, he's going to be ok.