Too Good
Eva was introduced to Bucky a two weeks after she and Steve started hanging out together. He asked her several questions and by the end of their meeting, Eva was so unnerved by him she almost had a panic attack. He was nice and very friendly, which made her feel a lot guiltier. He kept staring at my arms. That was it, she thought as she tugged the end of her sweaters’ sleeve. She noticed, even when he was trying to be inconspicuous about it.
“Are you okay?” Steve touched her elbow and she jumped in surprised. The look he gave her indicated he wouldn’t believe it if she said yes. Oh, Steve. He was too kind for his own good and she felt a tug in her heart when Steve gave her a small smile.
“I’m sorry. I must’ve spaced out.” She picked out the fallen sketchbook she didn’t even know has fell from her lap.
“You were having a mild panic attack.” Steve quietly said.
“What do you know about panic attack?” Her tone came out harsher than she intended. Hurt flashed his eyes and God, she really feels like an asshole right now.
“I’m sorry. I just…” She trailed off. Her hand absentmindedly scratched the inner part of her arm as she took several deep breaths.
“What is that?” It was the fear in his voice that made her froze. She looked down to her exposed arm. It was covered with scars, old and new, and bruises. She quickly pulled down the sleeves but Steve beat her to it. He took her arm and pulled up the sleeves, exposing a long jagged line of scar that has long healed. She could hear his sharp intake of breath when he saw it. His blue eyes were dark and he pursed his lips into a thin line. “Eva.” He whispered. She yanked her arm away from him and bit her trembling lips. No one was supposed to find out. It was the reason why she didn’t bother listening to the rumors about her.
“Don’t.” She stopped him before he could even say a word. Tears sprang in her eyes and she could hear her mother’s voice ringing her ear. You weak girl. I should’ve thrown you in the dumpster when you were a baby. Stop crying or I’ll hit you again. She shook her head. No. She was not going to have full blown panic attack in front of her new friend and potential crush. She could taste blood from her lips and her nails dug into her palms of her hands as she begged herself not to do this. Please.
“Eva, you need to breathe.” Steve’s hands were warm and sturdy on her upper arms. Her pupils blown wide as she watched his face. He was mouthing something. Breathe? Eva couldn’t hear anything aside from her mother’s screaming voice and the same ringing sound in her ears.
“Eva!” She snapped and took a gasp of air. His eyes are so fucking blue, she thought when she looked at him. There was an odd calmness in his eyes as he gently rubbed her arms.
“Sorry. Oh God. I’m so sorry.” She blabbered, feeling the panic rising in her chest again.
“Relax. It’s okay.” He kept repeating the words until it sank in. Steve didn’t let go of her until he was sure she has relaxed. They spent a good ten minutes staring at each other in silence, his hands holding hers, and she couldn’t feel any safer in her life.
“Come on, let me take you home.” He finally said.
“Not home.” She choked out.
He grimly nodded and helped her up before he gathered their stuff, chucking it inside his own messenger bag. He held her hand and gave her a comforting smile when she felt tears brimming in her eyes.
“Do you want to finish this project in my place?” He softly asked.
“Yes, please.” Her answer was a little rushed but she couldn’t care less. She couldn’t go back to her home. Not right now. Steve didn’t say anything afterwards. He understood. That thought alone brought another fresh wave of tears into her eyes. She stole a glance at the significantly taller man next to her and her lips curled into a tiny smile. You really are too good, Steve Rogers.
* * *
Bucky was surprised to see Steve home early. He was more surprised to see Steve with Eva. He was lounging on the couch with Natasha and Darcy (who kept asking them to come to some kind of party tomorrow) when Steve walked in. Natasha and Darcy were ready to blurted out some teasing commentary on his ‘date’ (Bucky happily filled them in on his first meeting with Eva) when they saw Eva standing behind him. Is she shaking? Did something happened? Bucky’s mind raced as he kept his eyes on her. She looked ghostly pale and her lips were swollen, probably because she kept biting them, just like what she was doing right now. There were tear tracks on her face as well, Bucky noticed.
“Hey.” Darcy put herself together and gave them a smile. “Welcome to the Avengers Residence. I’m Darcy. This is Natasha.” Natasha stayed quiet, her eyes glued on the anxious woman next to Steve. Steve gently pulled her closer and led her towards them. Bucky’s frown deepened when his sharp eyes caught a scar peeking out of her slightly pulled up sleeves.
“I’m Eva.” Her voice was too sharp and forced, not at all like the one he heard when she greeted him few hours earlier.
“We’re going to finish some projects.” Steve explained.
“Do you want to have dinner with us? Tony and Bruce were busy with their science stuff, as always.”
“I’ve never met them. Isn’t that weird?” Bucky turned his attention to Darcy.
“No. They’re just good at making excuses to not join the mandatory dinner.” Darcy rolled her eyes before she focused back on Eva. “So, dinner?”
“Uhm, yeah. Sure.” She swallowed thickly. “Thank you, Darcy.” She quietly added.
“Come on, let them finish their works. You can help me cook. I’ll tell you stuff about Wanda.” Darcy dragged Bucky away from them. Bucky couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation but he could see Natasha giving the woman a consoling smile before she followed them to the kitchen.