The Harry Potter Game

GAME OVER.

What the fuck is going on? Why is there just darkness everywhere around me, Hyde and Alex? Why are there giant white words in the air in front of us? And 'Game Over'... What game?

YOU DIED IN A CAR CRASH.

MAIN MENU:

• SELECT A NEW GAME.
• SELECT A SAVED LOAD.
• GAME OPTIONS.
• STOP PLAYING.

"What the fuck? Okay. So... Our entire life was a game? And... We can play it again?" Alex asked.

"So... We can have a new life. A second life..." Hyde said.

"As many as we want?" Alex asked.

"I don't know... New Game... Do we have to live the same life? Or would the universe continue like... We die in 2023 and are reborn in 2023?" I ask them.

"I'm not sure. Stop playing... That must be to like move on or whatever after someone dies. Saved load... There are none right now... Right?" Hyde asks.

"Well, if we didn't even know we were playing this game, there can't be any... Right?" I asked him.

"So... New Game or Game Options...?" Alex asks me.

"Options might tell us more about what the fuck is happening and how we could be playing a game our whole life without knowing. But... How do I select it, though? Game Options...?" Nothing... Erm...

"Maybe try thinking about it forcefully?" Alex suggested. Game Options.

YOU HAVE SELECTED GAME OPTIONS.

"There we go," I said.

"Yeah, I told you so," Alex says smugly and I ignore her as more words appear.

BEFORE YOU CAN ACCESS GAME OPTIONS, YOU MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE GAME OPERATOR ON FILE.

PLEASE STATE THE NAME OF THE MAIN GAME OPERATOR:

"Who's that?" Alex asked.

"I think we have to choose one of us but which one of us is it gonna be?" I ask her.

"It should be you," Alex says while shrugging. Hyde nodded in agreement.

"Ok, sure," I respond. "Cassiopeia Lyra Swan."

YOU HAVE SELECTED CASSIOPEIA LYRA SWAN AS THE MAIN GAME OPERATOR.

IS THIS ACCURATE?

Yes.

PLEASE STATE THE NAME OF THE SECONDARY GAME OPERATOR:

"I guess that's you, sis," I said to Alex.

"Hey! Why can't I go next?" Hyde asked.

"Because Alex is older than you," I responded and Hyde started sulking.

"Alexandra Cassiopeia Swan," Alex says.

YOU HAVE SELECTED ALEXANDRA CASSIOPEIA SWAN AS THE SECONDARY GAME OPERATOR.

IS THIS ACCURATE?

Yes.

PLEASE STATE THE TERTIARY GAME OPERATOR.

"Hydra Tom Swan," Hyde said.

YOU HAVE SELECTED HYDRA TOM SWAN AS THE TERTIARY GAME OPERATOR.

IS THIS ACCURATE?

YES.

PLEASE STATE THE GENDER AND SEXUALITY OF THE MAIN GAME OPERATOR FOR YOUR NEXT GAME:

"We can change our gender and sexuality?" Alex asked.

"Looks like it..." Female (but intersex/GP) and Lesbian.

PLEASE STATE THE GENDER AND SEXUALITY OF THE SECONDARY GAME OPERATOR FOR YOUR NEXT GAME:

Female and Pansexual.

PLEASE STATE THE GENDER AND SEXUALITY OF THE TERTIARY GAME OPERATOR FOR YOUR NEXT GAME:

MALE, AROMATNTIC AND ASEXUAL.

GAME OPTIONS:

• DIFFICULTY LEVEL: EXPERT.
• GAME: THE GAME OF LIFE (NORMAL HUMAN LIFE).
• PARENTAL FIGURES: IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE WITH IMPOSSIBLE EXPECTATIONS AND VERY PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE (DUE TO DIFFICULTY LEVEL).
• OLDER SIBLINGS: CRUEL AND ABUSIVE (DUE TO DIFFICULTY LEVEL).
• YOUNGER SIBLINGS: SPOILT BRATS WHO BLAME YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND CONSTANTLY GET YOU IN TROUBLE (DUE TO DIFFICULTY LEVEL).
• LEVEL NUMBER: 4/100.
• RELATIONSHIP STATUS: NONE OF YOU HAS EVER HAD ONE (DUE TO DIFFICULTY LEVEL).
• JOB: NONE OF YOU HAS EVER HAD ONE (DUE TO DIFFICULTY LEVEL).
• AGE: 19.

"Wait... So... Our entire life was as shit as it was because we were on the expert level of a game we didn't even know we were playing!?" Hyde yells.

"Seems like it," Alex says.

"Ok... Now... How to change this...?" I ask. Change difficulty level to beginner.

DIFFICULTY LEVEL CHANGED TO BEGINNER.

GAME OPTIONS:

• DIFFICULTY LEVEL: BEGINNER.
• GAME: NONE.
• LEVEL NUMBER: 1/100.
• AGE: 2.

"What!? I'm not 2!" Hyde complains.

"Ok, so we need to select a new game and it'll start at the age of two," I state.

"Great, going through childhood again but better this time..." Alex says, sarcastically.

"Hopefully. Let's pick a new game." Back to Main Menu, please.

MAIN MENU:

• SELECT A NEW GAME.
• SELECT A SAVED LOAD.
• GAME OPTIONS.
• STOP PLAYING.

Ok... Select a new game.

THERE ARE CURRENTLY 1,279 GAMES TO CHOOSE FROM.

DO YOU WISH TO SEE THE TOP TEN CHOSEN GAMES OR TO SEARCH FOR A GAME IN THE GAME SEARCH BAR?

"Um... What game would we even search for?" Alex asks. I just shrug. Top ten, please.

TOP TEN CHOSEN GAMES:

1. HARRY POTTER.
2. TWILIGHT.
3. STAR WARS.
4. LORD OF THE RINGS.
5. BATMAN.
6. SUPERNATURAL.
7. GLEE.
8. DOCTOR WHO.
9. THE VAMPIRE DIARIES.
10. THE GAME OF LIFE.

"Ok... Definitely Harry Potter," Alex says.

"Yeah. We've been obsessed with Harry Potter for as long as I can remember," I say. They both nod and agree with me. Harry Potter.

YOU HAVE SELECTED HARRY POTTER.

PLEASE SELECT A CHARACTER TO PLAY:

• HERMIONE GRANGER (MAIN GAME OPERATOR ONLY): STRENGTHS - A MAIN CHARACTER (EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, HARRY AND RON), HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN, BEST FRIEND OF THE BOY WHO LIVED AND BRIGHTEST WITCH OF YOUR AGE. WEAKNESSES - A MAIN CHARACTER (HAVE TO FOLLOW THE STORYLINE STRICTLY), HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE SLYTHERIN-GRYFFINDOR RIVALRY, HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE DRACO-HARRY RIVALRY, HAVE TO MARRY RON, HAVE TO HAVE RON'S CHILDREN, TORTURED BY BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, HAVE TO OBLITIVATE YOUR PARENTS AND ARE A MUDBLOOD.
• GINNY WEASLEY (SECONDARY GAME OPERATOR ONLY): STRENGTHS - WIFE OF THE BOY WHO LIVED, FROM THE SACRED TWENTY-EIGHT, HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN AND HAVE A LARGE FAMILY. WEAKNESSES - HAVE TO MARRY HARRY, HAVE TO HAVE HARRY'S CHILDREN, PART OF THE WEASLEY FAMILY, HAVE TO STAY GINGER (AS WEASLEYS ARE KNOWN AS GINGERS), ARE POOR, HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE SLYTHERIN-GRYFFINDOR RIVALRY, HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE DRACO-HARRY RIVALRY, HAVE TO BE A BLOOD TRAITOR AND NOT ALLOWED HOUSE ELVES (AS YOUR FAMILY ARE TOO POOR TO AFFORD THEM).
• NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM (TERTIARY GAME OPERATOR ONLY): STRENGTHS - FAMOUS (THANKS TO CONNECTION TO THE GOLDEN TRIO), GET TO CHOOSE WHO YOU DATE, FROM THE SACRED TWENTY-EIGHT, VERY RICH AND GET TO CHOP OFF NAGINI'S HEAD. WEAKNESSES - UNRESPONSIVE PARENTS THAT WERE TORTURED BY BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, HORRIBLE GRANDMOTHER, BELIEVED TO BE A SQUIB BEFORE HOGWARTS, HAVE TO BE A GRYFFINDOR, HAVE TO SHARE A DORM ROOM WITH HARRY AND RON, HAVE TO BE A BLOOD TRAITOR, HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE DRACO-HARRY SITUATION AND HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE SLYTHERIN-GRYFFINDOR RIVALRY.
• HERMIONE GRANGER'S YOUNGER SIBLING(S): STRENGTHS - A SISTER, GET TO CHOOSE YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE, FAMOUS (THANKS TO CONNECTION TO THE GOLDEN TRIO), UNDER THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX'S PROTECTION AND GET TO CHOOSE WHO YOU DATE. WEAKNESSES - MUST STAY CLOSE TO THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR THE STORYLINE TO PROGRESS, IN DANGER THANKS TO CONNECTION TO THE GOLDEN TRIO, PARENTS ARE OBLITIVATED BY YOUR SISTER, YOUR SISTER IS TORTURED BY BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, HAVE TO BE AN AUNT/UNCLE TO RON'S CHILDREN, ARE A MUDBLOOD AND HAVE TO BE RON'S SIBLING(S)-IN-LAW.
• DRACO MALFOY'S OLDER SIBLING(S): STRENGTHS - A BROTHER, A SLYTHERIN POSSE, A LARGE FAMILY (THE BLACKS), FROM THE SACRED TWENTY-EIGHT, VERY RICH AND A VERY SUPPORTIVE MOTHER. WEAKNESSES - AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE FATHER, HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE DRACO-HARRY RIVALRY, HAVE TO BE A SLYTHERIN, HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE SLYTHERIN-GRYFFINDOR RIVALRY, LIKELY TO BE ENTERED INTO A MARRIAGE CONTRACT WITH A PUREBLOOD YOU DON'T LIKE (BECAUSE LUCIUS IS A DICK) AND HAVE TO BE A PROPER PUREBLOOD.
• VOLDEMORT'S TRIPLET KIDS (FOR ALL OPERATORS ONLY): STRENGTHS - CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT, CAN CHOOSE WHO YOU DATE, HEIR OF SLYTHERIN, HEIR OF VOLDEMORT (THEREFORE, THE MAIN GAME OPERATOR WILL BECOME LEADER OF THE DEATH EATERS), DEATH EATERS ARE LOYAL TO YOU (ONCE THEY KNOW WHO YOU ARE), GET TO CHOOSE YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE, CHANGE THE STORYLINE ANY THREE WAYS YOU CHOOSE AND GET TO CREATE YOUR OWN CHARACTER'S EVERYTHING. WEAKNESSES - MUST STAY CLOSE TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS (INCLUDING THE MAIN VILLAIN) FOR THE STORYLINE TO PROGRESS, ARE A HALF-BLOOD AND IN DANGER THANKS TO CONNECTION TO THE MAIN VILLAIN.

"Ok, I'm not putting up with the having to date Ron and have his kids thing so no to being Hermione," I said.

"Same about Harry. I don't want to be with him or have his kids, either," Alex says. I'm not surprised. She's said before the only guy she wants to date in the Harry Potter world is Draco. "I don't want to have to put up with Lucius or have who I marry chosen by him either so I don't want to be Draco's sister..."

"Me neither," I said.

"Neville... Why'd I get stuck with Neville? He's trash," Hyde whined.

"I don't really want to be Ron's sister-in-law or aunt to his kids so that just leaves being Voldemort's triplet children..." I said.

"It actually does sound pretty good," Alex said. Hyde nodded in agreement.

"So, Voldemort's triplet children?" I ask them and they nod. Select Voldemort's triplet children for all operators, please.

ALL THREE GAME OPERATORS HAVE SELECTED VOLDEMORT'S TRIPLET CHILDREN.

PLEASE SELECT THREE STRONG PERSONALITY TRAITS FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

• AGILITY - GOOD AT CLIMBING, JUMPING, ALL SPORTS AND GOOD HAND-EYE COORDINATION ONCE YOU REACH LEVEL 15.
• STRENGTH - STRONGER THAN ANY HUMAN YOUR AGE, GIVES YOU LARGE MUSCLES AND A SIX-PACK ONCE YOU REACH LEVEL 25.
• CHARISMA - MOST PEOPLE FIND YOU CHARMING, MOST PEOPLE WILL FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE ONCE YOU REACH LEVEL 25, MOST PEOPLE WILL WANT TO BE AROUND YOU, MAGICAL CREATURES WILL WANT TO PROTECT YOU AND THEY WILL BE MORE LIKELY TO FORM A BOND WITH YOU (FOR EXAMPLE VEELAS).
• INTELLIGENCE - A LOT SMARTER THAN ANY HUMAN YOUR AGE, WILL BE CLASSED AS A CHILD GENIUS, CAN GRADUATE SCHOOL AT 12 AND PEOPLE WILL CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR OPINION (EVEN IF THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY) ONCE YOU REACH LEVEL 15.
• STAMINA - HAVE A LOT MORE ENERGY THAN ANY HUMAN YOUR AGE, CAN GO LONGER WITHOUT GETTING TIRED WHEN EXERCISING AND NEED ONLY THREE HOURS OF SLEEP A DAY TO FULLY FUNCTION ONCE YOU REACH LEVEL 25.
• PERCEPTION - A LOT MORE OBSERVANT THAN ANY HUMAN YOUR AGE, CAN SEE SMALL DETAILS OTHERS WOULD MISS AND VERY EASY FOR YOU TO PUT THE FULL PICTURE TOGETHER, EVEN WITHOUT ALL THE FACTS, ONCE YOU REACH LEVEL 25.
• LEADERSHIP - PEOPLE WILL DEFER TO YOUR OPINION MORE THAN THE AVERAGE HUMAN, OTHERS WILL EASILY FOLLOW YOU AND EVEN MAGICAL CREATURES WILL SUBMIT TO YOU AS THEIR LEADER ONCE YOU REACH LEVEL 50.

Ok. Erm... Well... If I choose three, do I not have access to the other four?

YOU CAN MAX OUT ALL OPTIONS. HOWEVER, THE PERSONALITY TRAITS SELECTED WILL BE STRONGER AND THE UNSELECTED ONES WILL BE WEAKER AND POINTS MAY BE ADDED OR DEDUCTED WITH A SPECIES CHANGE.

"Ok... I definitely want Leadership. Magical Creatures submitting to me as their leader? That'd be cool... And, it'd make the Triwizard Tournament easier to win. Dragons and Mermaids will do my bidding and let me get the egg and my person. It'd be so easy," I said.

"Charisma. I want as many Magical Creature bonds as possible. They're so cute!" Alex cooed.

"Me too, especially if they are mate bonds with hot Veela. I'd love to see Fleur get protective of me," I said.

"Yeah," Alex and Hyde agreed in unison.

"But... All the other options are great... I could always just try to max out as many of them as possible as soon as possible so I could just leave Intelligence, Strength and Perception but I'm stuck between Stamina and Agility... I do like the idea of only needing three hours of sleep. It'd give me so much more time. However, I don't want to be super clumsy so good hand-eye coordination would be helpful and the sleep thing is unlocked ten levels after good hand-eye coordination..."

"Yeah, I want Agility and Charisma but I'll leave the whole 'leader' thing to you," Alex said.