
Steve's Break Down
Washington D.C
“Hello Genevieve” Steve said answering the phone later that night.
“Hi Steve. I was wondering if you could do me a favor” Jen replied.
“Of course” He said instantly.
“Hetty has been allowed a meeting with James tomorrow. I know you go on a regular basis and I don’t know if you have any plans for tomorrow but is there any way you could conveniently be there tomorrow-just in case?” She replied.
“Why is Ms. Lange going to talk to Bucky tomorrow?” Steve asked immediately suspicious.
“It has something to do with a case she is working on” Jen admitted.
“Are you afraid she will be hurt by Bucky?” Steve asked. “Because I can tell you he’s been doing very well lately” he added.
Jen paused smiling on the other end “I don’t know how he is going to react when he sees her” she admitted.
“They know each other?” Steve asked surprised.
“Hetty was an agent during the cold war and had close connections with the KGB at the time. She saw James in his chamber at one point-I don’t know how alert he was in that chamber-I am just afraid she will be a trigger for him” Jen said. “If YOU are there less people will get hurt-especially James” she added.
Steve was quiet “You still think SHIELD has an ulterior motive for him?” he asked.
“Yes” Jen admitted bluntly.
Steve sighed “I’ll make sure to be there” he said finally.
“Thank you Steve” Jen said.
“I’ll let you know what happens” Steve replied.
The Next Morning
Natasha wasn’t surprised at the amount of SHEILD people that were in the observation room planning to watch the interrogation-for lack of a better word-that Henrietta Lange was about to conduct. What did surprise her was the fact that Steve was present as well as Jethro Gibbs. Steve immediately noticed and nodded giving her a small wave. She meandered over and causally leaned against the wall next to him.
“Surprised to see you here” she replied quietly.
“Jen called me” Steve replied just as quietly.
“Is that why Gibbs is here?” she wondered.
“Not sure. I think he is here on more official business” Steve admitted.
Natasha nodded “Makes sense” she said.
From his spot against another wall-Gibbs turned hearing his name and noticed Steve and Natasha leaning against the wall near him. He nodded a silent greeting-which they both returned.
“Is Phil the one that will bring in Buck? He seems calmer when it’s him” Steve asked.
Nat shrugged her shoulders “I honestly don’t know Steve” she admitted.
They watched as Hetty looked at the darkened glass and rolled her eyes as she poured herself a cup of tea.
“If I wanted to make a spectacle of myself I would have stayed in motion pictures” Hetty muttered out loud.
“She’s joking right?” Steve asked.
“Nope” Fury replied.
“She’s like an onion-many layers” Gibbs replied.
“Wow” Steve replied.
Any other conversation was halted when Coulson opened the door and lead Barnes inside. He nodded at Hetty –sending a small smile to Barnes then turned and left the room.
Hetty’s POV
Hetty smiled as she sipped her tea as she watched Coulson leave and Barnes stand there not knowing what to do.
“Hello. My name is Henrietta Lange. I am the Ops manager for the L.A office of NCIS” Hetty began. “I was hoping to get some information from you. Would you like some tea?” she asked.
Bucky just stood there then shrugged his shoulder.
She kept the smile on her face and motioned to the seat across from her “Would you like to sit down?” she asked.
“Rather stand” Bucky replied.
Hetty could help but chuckle “Always be on alert” she recited. “I’ll try to be fast. Do you know what NCIS is?” she asked.
Bucky shrugged again not answering.
“Naval criminal investigation services- it’s a law enforcement organization for the United States Military” Hetty said simply.
“What does this have to do with me?” Bucky asked.
“One of my agents arrested a Russian man that had a metal arm. I was wondering if you knew anything about that” she asked.
“I wasn’t me-I’ve been here for months now” Bucky replied sharply.
“Oh no-I know it wasn’t you. I was wondering if you knew if there are any more like-you” Hetty replied.
Bucky twitched taking a deep breathe “I was secluded-away from others-the only people I saw were the scientist and whoever was giving me my mission. So I don’t know. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were more like me-if that helps” Bucky replied slowly.
Hetty blinked at Bucky smiling- Bucky stared back until he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“What’cha staring at?” he snapped-the Brooklyn accent coming out.
Hetty chuckled again looking down “I apologize I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. As you know Old habits are hard to break” Hetty replied. “I wonder Do you remember meeting me?” she asked.
Bucky snapped his eyes to the little women staring at her trying to place the face. “No-sorry. Nothing personal-I don’t remember too much from back before the war” he admitted.
Hetty laughed “Oh no Sargent-I didn’t met you then-I don’t know whether to be amused or offended-do I look THAT old?” Hetty replied shaking her head at the younger/older man. “I met you after you were captured by the KGB. You were in your chamber when I stumbled on the capsule. I thought your eyes blinked- that was what caught my attention when I got closer your eyes were closed so I chalked it up to the god awful blinking lights they had in those labs at the time. I was just curious.” Hetty finished setting the saucer down.
Bucky kept his eyes on Hetty “My body twitched when I was refreezing or defrosting” he replied blandly. “You probably found me either before or after a mission” he added.
Hetty nodded “I figured as much” she replied. “To be quite honest James-may I call you that? I honestly didn’t expect you to remember much. I hoped since it wasn’t that long ago you would remember something. But you never know when random memories will pop in. I hope you will contact me if you remember ANYTHING” Hetty said as she handed Bucky a business card.
He stared at the piece of paper “You actually think they will let me keep this?” he asked incredulously.
“Oh don’t worry others have it as well-plus you might see me again” Hetty replied glancing at her watch. “I have a meeting I need to get to. It was a pleasure seeing you again James” Hetty said as she got up.
“Maybe I’ll see you again and remember” Bucky said in an attempt at humor.
“I am sure you will” Hetty replied and headed for the door knocking softly.
Phil walked in after briefly talking with the others and stared at Barnes.
“You have other visitors if you feel up to it Barnes” Coulson replied.
“More people trying to get me to remember?” Bucky asked.
Phil shrugged his shoulders “It’s Captain Rogers and Agent Gibbs” he admitted.
Bucky snorted “So in other words yes” he replied.
“Both understand if you don’t want to and won’t push it-but since they were in the building and you seem to be having a good day decided to try” Phil said calmly.
Bucky sighed “Why not-they can tell me memories of people I don’t remember-let them in” he announced sarcastically.
Phil stared at him for a moment before turning and opening the door letting both men in. Jethro came in with a professional smile coming over and extending his hand.
“Nice to see you again James” Jethro replied.
Bucky stared at the man finally extending his flesh hand returning the shake “yeah same here” he answered.
Steve was slightly taken aback by Bucky actually returning the hand shake. Steve always has to initiate the handshakes and even when he does Bucky never reciprocates. Steve must have had a surprised look on his face because he suddenly felt both Phil and Jethro’s eyes on him.
“How you been doing?” Jethro asked.
Bucky shrugged his shoulder “Not bad. Might actually get to see some fresh air soon” he replied.
Jethro nodded “That’s good. So I hear you met my daughter Genevieve” Gibbs replied.
Bucky smiled “yeah-she came and we talked-got interrupted by the green guy-what’s his name?” he asked looking at Steve and Phil.
“Hulk” Phil supplied when Steve didn’t speak.
“Right Hulk-real interesting night” Bucky said.
Gibbs smiled glancing at the scowl on Steve’s face ‘Wonder what that is about’ he thought to himself.
Bucky nodded “Can I ask a question? Who said Gibbs women are insane? That night when we were all out in the hallway and she talked him down-that popped in my head and I had to say it” he said.
Gibbs looked at him with wide eyes
Flashback:
“Honey tell your daddy and uncle John dinner is ready” Anne yelled from the kitchen.
“Kay mom” Jethro yelled and ran toward the side door and out to the barn.
He neared the barn and he heard them laughing.
“I keep telling you Jack-there’s a reason we have sons-Gibbs women are insane” John Gibbs laughed loudly.
Jackson snorted “Please don’t say that around Anne” he warned.
“What’s the matter son-afraid of your wife?” his grand-father taunted.
Jackson’s voice got colder “No sir-more afraid for your life. Up to you-it’s your funeral”
End Flashback.
“Agent Gibbs?” Phil asked staring at the man intently-finally getting his attention.
“Sorry-umm-I heard my great-uncle say that once. The only time he came to visit us’ Gibbs replied. Bucky scrunched his face in thought “John?” he said.
“Yes his name was John” Gibbs answered in surprise.
“Why are you in the building?” Bucky asked suddenly rubbing his forehead.
Gibbs blinked at the topic change but went with it “My boss wanted me to be present when Hetty talked with you” Gibbs replied.
“So you are part of NC-whatever” Bucky asked.
“N.C.I.S-yes” Gibbs said with a smile.
“What made you decide to do that?” Bucky asked.
“After desert storm-I needed another job-couldn’t be an active marine anymore. Mike-a close friend-I thought I could be a good cop. That was almost 30 years ago” Gibbs replied with his editing back ground.
“I am sorry I am still catching up with wars while I was frozen- Desert Storm was when again?” Steve asked for the first time.
“August of 1990 to February of 1991” Phil replied from his spot.
Gibbs phone rang interrupting them “I need to take this-I am sorry I need to go James. It was nice seeing you” he said with a quick smile as he answered his phone and headed for the door.
Steve smiled at Bucky when Gibbs left-hoping he would keep talking.
“You did well today Buck-being able to talk with Ms. Lange about the KGB without getting upset” Steve said.
Bucky turned and stared at Steve and frowned “Why do you call me that?” he asked.
“Call you what?” Steve asked confused.
“Buck” he replied.
“When you introduced yourself to me-when we were kids. You said my names is James Buchanan Barnes but you can call me Bucky” Steve replied. “I know you probably hate it now-but I’ve always called you Bucky” he added.
Bucky rolled his eyes at him “When will you realize I can’t be that guy again? I might have his face but I don’t have most of his memories and probably never will” Bucky replied getting agitated.
“But Buck” Steve began when Coulson intervened.
“Captain-Steve. I think Barnes has had a hard day and I think it would be wise if we continue this tomorrow” Phil replied in a gentle but commanding tone.
Steve sped walked down the hall-intent on going to the gym for get rid of some of this frustration. He sensed Natasha was next to him-a quick glance affirmed it.
“I don’t get it Natasha-he was so good with Ms. Lange and then with Gibbs! With me it’s anger and hostility.” Steve complained as they walked out of the building.
Natasha stopped and stared at her friend “Steve-you are putting too much pressure on him. With Gibbs its easier-it’s someone he never met-no expectations” Natasha replied.
“I don’t expect anything from him” Steve exclaimed louder than he meant to.
"Time to show him the grave" Mike’s voice whispered in Gibbs ear. "Boy’s keeping too much in-not letting go of the past".
"Looking out for Captain America now are you?” Gibbs whispered back turning around to nothing.
Gibbs sighed pulling out his phone and calling McGee for directions before he walked up to them.
“Steve I have something I want to show you-up for a drive?” Gibbs replied.
Steve blinked at him then shrugged “Sure” he replied.
Gibbs nodded and headed toward a grey truck climbing in and waiting for Steve to follow. Steve glanced at Natasha then shrugged again and jogged to the truck. They were on the road for 10 minutes before Gibbs spoke.
“It’s out of state-should I have gotten permission or something?” Gibbs asked. “I’d hate to get arrested for taking Captain America across state line for some obscured old law” he added with a smile. ‘Jokes? Good Lord I am turning into DiNozzo’ he thought to himself.
Steve looked over at him “If you get arrested I am pretty sure you get one call” he replied with a smile.
Steve followed Gibbs through the woods until he stopped in front of an old grave. Gibbs motioned down to it with a smile.
“My dad brought me here once-I am actually surprised I found it again” Gibbs replied.
Steve crouched down to his knees pulling the weeds away until he could read the names on the grave.
“Who did this?” Steve whispered.
“Dad always said Aunt Pat and the family. But I wanted to show this” Gibbs said.
“Pat did this? But I thought the government took almost everything concerning me when I went down?” Steve asked.
“They would if they knew about this-that’s why they kept it a secret from everyone” Gibbs said.
“Buck-Buck needs to see this-to know that his family loved him” Steve stammered out.
Gibbs sighed “Not going to happen” he replied.
“Why not” Steve demanded.
“I will not let SHEILD know about this. It won’t mean anything to him-but it means something to me-and hopefully to you as well” Gibbs said.
Steve stayed on his knees-feeling once again lost.
“What exactly are you expecting from him? One morning he wakes up and he’s Bucky again-all the good memories and none of the bad?” Gibbs asked curiously.
“Yes” Steve mumbled.
“Why” Gibbs asked.
“Because he has to” Steve replied.
“What?” Gibbs asked.
“He has to” Steve said again slowly.
“Why?” Gibbs asked again.
Steve tensed head snapping up and glaring at Gibbs “Because he HAS To. He’s Bucky! Bucky ALWAYS watched out for me! ALWAYS protected me! Before Ma-After Ma-ALWAYS. I have NEVER been able to protect him! I ALWAYS failed!” Steve screamed huffing out breathe. “He got captured-then he followed me-became a Howling Commando-and I couldn’t even grab his hand on a DAMN train. I lost EVERYTHING and when I took the plane down one of my last thoughts was at least I get to see Ma and Buck!” Steve paused to take a few deep breathes. “I woke up 70 years later to this world I knew nothing about and I was alone. And now -here he is Alive and hates me! I go EVERY DAY and he won’t hardly look at him. He looked at me more when I was his mission than he does now. I don’t know what to do” Steve finally mumbled wiping the tears that were falling down his cheeks.
Suddenly Mike was standing next to him arms crossed “Damn Probie-you really know to push peoples buttons don’t you-even a national treasure” he replied with a smirk.
Gibbs shot the man a look- reaching into his pocket for a handkerchief and handing it to Steve.
“Here” Gibbs said.
Steve stared at the handkerchief taking it and blowing his noise “Thank you” he said meekly.
“Feeling better?” Gibbs asked.
Steve nodded cheeks red with embarrassment.
“I had amnesia once. I had no memory of my team or the last 15 years of my life. All I wanted was Shannon and Kelly-and knew I couldn’t have them because they were gone. All these new faces coming to me saying they knew me telling me things I couldn’t remember just angered me. I think that’s what going on with James and you” Gibbs replied.
“But why does he remember stuff you tell him but not mine?” Steve asked.
Jethro shrugged “I am not a doctor-but emotions connects with memories-at least that what they teach us with interrogations. Maybe it’s just as simple as the fact he feels more pressure with you and not with me” he said.
“Jen asked me- a month or so ago if I would be ok if Bucky was never Bucky-I said yes –but I am not sure if I am” Steve finally admitted.
“It’s got to be hard for you. Think about it-you woke up to this new world-James is doing the same thing now. He KNOWS who he’s supposed to be but has no idea on how to do that. He’s got these fragmented memories and he’s alone too” Gibbs replied.
“So I should what- show him what he’s missed in the last 60 years?” Steve asked.
“At the moment that’s the only thing in common the two of you have. I am sure it’ll show him that someone else went through the same thing he is” Gibbs answered.
“Is still going through” Steve admitted.
“Still going through” Gibbs said.
Steve nodded climbing to his feet “That makes sense-thank you Gibbs” Steve said.
Gibbs smiled “You are welcome Steve-now come on we need to get going” he said.
http://lostcap.tumblr/post/122886120393/or-maybe-the-barnes-put-up-a-single-headstone-over