The sound of the silence
* The sound of the silence. Paul Simons and Garfunkel*
Silence, old friend... Where are you? Why you leave me like the rest?
Three men in three different rooms had the same thought in the middle of the night, all of them are missing a girl:The youngest was missing the girl he loves, but she was gone. The other is remembering the girl who loves him, but he hurt her a lot. The oldest needs the woman he loves to help him to keep the demons away, but his girl was searching the girl was lost, along with the broken one, who was avoiding the man inside the vault.
For the oldest man the symbols behind his eyelids burn his brain like the hell himself, and the silence in his room hurt him more, his shaky hands make him draw things unknown, letters from the space, languages who nobody talks, sounds built of silence, driving him crazy.
"Why do you want to put him out from the Vault?" Coulson asks growling Tuesday morning.
"Why do you need him captive like some Sick animal?" Alicia asks like an answer looking at him all serious .
"Because He's a traitor, a dangerous traitor!"
"Really Phillip? That's your excuse?"
"Why do you want him out?" he asked again, this one will be the third time they talk about the same theme in the last two months.
"I told you before, He's not an animal, and if you keep him there for another month, you better start to build him a coffin..."
"Who's asking this, the friend or the Doctor, Alicia?"
"Both" she answer knowing he'll upset in seconds.
"That's unacceptable" he answer back furious like hell
"Why did you ask my opinion, then Phillip? If you'll ignore me, why did you bring me here?"
"You know why..."
"Hell, I did! So Mr. Selfish , why are you making me analyze your team then?"
"You... you..."
"Shut the hell up, and roll your sleeve, you need another test"
"Fine!" he bark later she was labeling the samples.
"So, your last episode was?" she asks in her Doctor mode holding her note pad.
"Two weeks ago" he answers
"Phillip..." She said looking at him in silence.
"Last Sunday" He lie and she gives him an angry look, bad, he thinks.
"Phillip...!" She asks again raising up her right eyebrow
"Three days ago" damn walking-talking lie detector girl.
"Her absence makes you sick, Don't you?"
"Her?, What are you talking about?"
"Really? Maybe the others are so busy with their own problems Director, but you bring me here to watch you closely, so... Did you really think I'll ignore all those small touches, low voice talkings, and the noises from your bunk?" She asks cossing her arms making him turns all red "It's Ok, your secret is safe with me"
"What do you want in change Alicia?" He knows her very well to take her innocent look not serious.
"You already know..."
"Fine, but you'll have to explain that to the girls"
"When they came back, I'll "
"Fine!"
"Any news about your lost agent?"
"No, looks like Simmons was banished from the earth" the sadness was evident in his voice, "How was Fitz these days?"
"Better, he was talking more, but not to the humans, sadly" but that was a great start, she thoughts
"Your dog is helping him a lot"
"Yeah, Kala is a great Therapy Dog, she makes a bridge between him and the exterior"
"Sure she does!"
"The bad thing is, you give her your hand, and she bites your feet at the same time"
"Let him discovered that Ali, he needs friends, and she needs him" he said before jumping down from the gurney and getting out from the room.
By the next morning, just like she orders, the prisoner can be out from the Vault, but once he was out he suffers a pretty bad ansiety attack, situation who obligues Alicia to put him under viglance on the medical wing. Two days later, Ward was sick, like really sick. For the next three days, he needs electrolytes for the fever, antibiotics for the infection and a new place to sleep. Slowly he came conscious again and start to eat by himself. Fitz was always watching them with his D.W.A.R.F.S. wandering why the young doctor can be close to that murderer so easily.
"Is nice to see you in one piece" Ward says to her once he recovered his full consciousness
"Its nice to see you alive" she answers smiling.
"Why you don't let me die Dorothy?"
"How can I TikTok?, You're my friend, my only friend..." She said trying to reach his hand
"I'm a monster" he said avoiding her touch.
"Me too robot, and look, we're here"
"I don't deserve to be here!"
"Why?"
"I hurt them Alicia, I broke Skye's heart, I hurt May, I betray Coulson, and I kill Fitz and Simmons"
"They're not dead!" she said, but he can't hear her, he was having another panic attack. She just let the thing goes, pretending she wasn't aware of the presence of Fitz half hided into the side of the door..
Darkness just like when he was in the closet in his house, crying after a big "Mommy love treatment", blood running free in his back. Just like darkness in the woods after Garret drops him there, alone the first night. Darkness just like cancer, growing inside of him, until Skye becomes his only light. Now the darkness was eating him alive because he trust in the wrong man.
Outside, Fitz was listening, after all this time Ward still has regrets... why he can? After all, he was a cold blooded assassin or Jemma was wrong with that too?
*They're not dead* Alicia signed to Grant several minutes later seeing him struggle with his talk and watches how Fitz's eyes light up, just like he understands what they're signing
*They're I throw them down to the ocean* he answers back
*They survive TikTok*
*They can't! I throw them to their death Alicia, I did it!* he signed trembling
*Grant, please believe me, they survived *
Deep silence falls over them, making them remember the old times when both are too young to care about the consecuences of their actions.
*How you end here?*
*The girl goes to an undercover mission, so Phillip brings me here, and Fitz is outside with Matilda and Kala*
*That's a lie! I hurt them, I hurt him a lot*
*Why did you do it?* Alicia signed to him, ignoring Fitz in the door.
*Garret... I do it because of him, I try to put them safe, or he will make me kill them... You know how was him, and the things he loved to do* She look at the Ingeneer.
*They didn't know him Ward, they didn't know... with Garret's orders we don't have choice*
*Fitz told me that... he looked me in the eyes... But I don't have any choice and that thing , it's supposed to float, but it sinks... it sinks* Ward sign almost crying.
"I know that now" Fitz say loud and clear, using his voice for the first time in months startling them.
"Can you forgive me?" Ward asks almost crying again.
"I don't know yet" Fitz answer slowly " But I'll try"
"I'll understand if you can't" sure he can, Fitz will not the first one hating him on his life... but he's the first one who hurts him more.
"So, TikTok has a heart?" Fitz says smiling
"Wait a minute, you can sign?" Ward asks amazed
*My best friend was deaf, so, yes, and I read him the book when we have 12* Fitz answers smiling.
"TikTok has one" Ward answer, smiling sadly "But he makes a mess with her"
*Your heart is a her?* Leo signs back
" Let me guess..." Alicia says "Tall, brunette, bad temper and always talking..."
"Very funny Dorothy... very funny" he said looking at her totally mad " Well looks like We're not in Kansas anymore" Grant says
"Not, we don't" Alicia says to the boys with a smile.
The day was weird, the old agent avoided the visual contact to the engineer and later, he had another attack when they says Skye's name, so Alicia has to sedate him to help him to get calmed, thing who scares Fitz deeply. It was almost three in the morning when Alicia and Fitz finally let Ward's room, and walk quietly to the lab.
"You said, when you.." he says " You ne... ne.. need me, why?"
"I do!"
"I'm useless Doc.. doc..tor Bly.. Doc..." he stutters frustrated
"Call me Ali, and you don't. You're smart"
"Too da... da... damaged here" he taps his head.
"No! Fitz, you're more than a damaged brain. You're smart, your brain still works"
"No, he don't, can't talk... good"
"But you know how make us understand you, you need to learn to communicate with us again, you know how"
"How?"
"Using your imaginary Library"
" My what?"
"Your brain is the same, right? but the bridge between him and your mouth was broken Leo, you just need to know how rebuild that again. All your knowledge was there, and he comes to you when you need him"
"How ?"
"Why are you signing to us?"
*Because I need to say things to you* he signed fastly
"There's the key word, you need Leo, you NEED to talk, but you can't, so, your brain remembers how to sign, and make you sign. That information is part of your library. Please let me help you"
"How?"
"I can design some therapy for you, to help you to talk properly again"
"Talk?"
"Well, I can sign, but I dobt the others can"
*I understand, so you help me and I have to help you?*
"If you want"
*OK, first things first: Why do you need me, and why are you here?*
"Take a sit friend, this will be a very long night"...
The whole story freaks out Fitz, but now, he was ready to start again, maybe it wasn't too late to fight for the team, perhaps Jemma was giving up on him, but Ali brings him some hope, and, maybe when Jemma comes back, she can see him like the old himself... just maybe... The silence, the darkness and the fear can give him a second chance, he can be a word again, not the sad useless sound of the silence of a broken man.