Lazarus in the Room – part 10 Swings, Slippers and Bins
By Veganpepsibaby
Chapter 1
“Okay Ric – good to speak. Do take care.” Serena slouched into the living-room chair, resting her mobile on her lap. She was pleased to hear from her old friend. Ric was still occupied with a consultant surgeon position at a Ghanian hospital and was in no rush to return to England.
Bernie wondered into the room to find Serena with a hand under her chin, resting her head. “You know it has been two days since my birthday. I don’t think we need the place to resemble a Buddhist temple with all these incense sticks burning. And the windows wide open – it’s bloody freezing in here, love.”
“Hmm, what? Serena lifted her head up.
“The incense, the wide-open windows.”
“I can still smell cigar and cigarette smoke.”
“Well, I can’t. I think you’re imaging it now.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, shut the windows then!” came a loud gruff voice.
Bernie chose to ignore the spikey reply. She walked around shutting the windows, then switched the kitchen kettle on. Serena definitely needs another shot of caffeine, she thought.
She returned to the seated woman, with two mugs of coffee, placing them on the little table between the pair of armchairs. “Thank you,” came a quiet voice.
“You’re welcome,” Bernie replied, as she sat in the other chair.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”
“It’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?” Bernie tilted her head sidewards with a warm smile.
“Oh, well, I’ve just been catching up with Ric. He seems quite content working in Ghana at present.”
“Isn’t that a good thing, considering the trials he has been through?” questioned Bernie.
“Yes, yes. It, it’s just got me thinking about what I, or we – oh, I don’t know.” Serena turned to pick up her mug and took a sip of her coffee, her eyes peering over the rim at Bernie.
“I am guessing you are thinking how much longer will we or you be staying in Spain? Questioning whether to return to England – to home and careers?” answered Bernie before she drank from her own mug.
“Something like that,” Serena returned her mug to the table, gazing up directly into hazel eyes, “How would you feel if we take the initial step of informing family and friends of your existence by telling Ric first? I, umm,” she took a deep gulp, while fingers played with her necklace, “It just – it may be a useful touch stone for preparing you – and I for contacting your family, Bernie.” Serena gave a small smile to soften the magnitude of the question.
Bernie released a deep breath, her torso rising then falling, while she processed the implications of Serena’s words. She knew that this time would come. Her mind flashed back to three weeks prior………
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“Major Wolf, can you hear and see the court?”
“Yes, yes I can, thank you.”
Bernie sat at the study desk with the laptop linked to a Court session in England. Serena was sat at the side out of camera view giving a reassuring look, as the judge and barristers went through formalities. The rest was a haze until an arm reached out to nudge her leg, returning her to the moment.
“Major Wolf, did you hear me?” asked the male judge.
“Err, sorry your honor. Please could you repeat what you just said. So, sorry I think there was an internet glitch.” Bernie took a deep breath after her white lie.
“In light of all the evidence submitted to the courts, I can confirm that Major Berenice Griselda Wolf, is in fact alive. Rescued from captivity by Allie Forces, while held against her will by a Somalian militia. I therefore instruct that Major Wolf’s death certificate be rescinded, that all records be amended, her status as a UK citizen be reinstated.”
Bernie stared at the screen, while the court was dismissed. Tears ran down her cheeks. Unable to move or speak, Serena intervened, moving the laptop around. The court connection had ended, but Bernie’s legal team had sent a message. Serena replied, informing them that she would discuss everything with her.
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Serena walked over to the hallway table, returning to her chair with a large, padded envelope.
“This arrived in the post for you, darling,” handing it over to the other woman.
Bernie carefully opened it and emptied the contents onto her lap. She lifted her reading glasses from their perch on her head to place them on her face, focusing her eyes, as she leafed through a new British passport, a driver’s licence, and other paperwork. She looked up, mouth open, eyes wide. Shaking hands passed the documents to Serena, who grabbed her own glasses in order to read the paperwork. Placing the documents and glasses on the table, she moved from her chair to kneel in front of Bernie, taking the woman’s hands in hers.
“Darling, this fantastic!” She looked up into tear filled eyes. Bernie opened then shut her mouth unable to say anything. Relief and shock set inside her, causing her body to tremble. Serena lifted her hands up to place them either side of Bernie’s face, then ran her fingers through blonde hair.
“Come here.” She stood up in front of the seated woman, bringing Bernie’s head to her waist holding her tight.
“All, all t-this time, and o-one envelope turns up, containing my reinstated legal existence.” Bernie choked out, “it feels…., so banal.”
“Darling, I think you’re in shock. You have been acting all stoic these pass weeks since the court judgement, pretending to cope. But I know full well it has been eating away inside you, even if you think your birthday was a good cover to hide it all,” Serena continued to hold Bernie, determined that she speak frankly with her.
“What? I,”
“Don’t love. Only last night you had a nightmare again. Your sleep has been fitful, and you have returned to taking long naps after lunch,” interrupted Serena, “it’s okay, not to be okay.”
“Oh, where d-did you g-get that saying from? A bloody f-fridge magnet!” Bernie scoffed.
“Well, umm, yes that was bit Hallmark of me, but the point is, you are here Bernie, alive. You have legal status now.” Serena kissed the top of the blonde woman’s head, let go of her hold and returned to her armchair. Bernie removed her glasses from her face, so she could rub her eyes with her hands.
“It’s just – I get over one obstacle and then another, but more continue to line up. It’s so exhausting. I know, I know you are right – I need to begin the process of informing people of my existence,” Bernie released a deep sigh as she looked towards the ceiling.
“Darling, we talked about you needing to contact Cameron and Charlotte soon. Your legal team are in the process of working out your finances. They will need to inform your children over the will even just to confirm that you give consent to them keeping the cottage and other assets. The RAMC have to sort out your retirement and pension.”
“I know, Serena.” Bernie stood, gazing around, unsure where to move to, “I feel, feel so ashamed,” she whispered.
Serena rose from her chair, slowing approaching the other woman, she placed her hands on Bernie’s shoulders, “Why do you feel ashamed?” she gently asked.
“I couldn’t escape. I complied with the orders of the militia. I – I watched, hopeless, as an innocent young woman was executed. What will my children think of me? I let them down. I – I so want to speak to them, see them both, b-but I’m scared.”
“Bernie, you did what you did to stay alive and to keep Colette alive too. Her actions were her own. She knew the risks. You tried to stop her, yes. Please believe me – your children love you. They have mourned you and miss you. None of what you have to do next will be easy, but I will be here by your side every step.” Serena placed a soft kiss on Bernie’s lips then pulled her in for a hug.
“I need to go for a walk,” Bernie said as she broke away from the embrace.
“Okay, would you like some company?”
“No – sorry, umm, I need to think through your suggestion of speaking to Ric.”
Serena watched, sighing as the other woman slipped on a pair of trainers and a jacket in the hallway. Bernie turned to look back as she opened the front door, “I won’t be long. I love you.”
“And I love you. Be careful.”
Chapter 2
The early evening sky was streaked with dark pinks and oranges. Bernie and Serena were wrapped in blankets, sat on the veranda sofa, holding hands.
“So, shall I make the call? Ric’s text said he would be free now to chat,” Serena picked up her mobile from her lap.
“Hmm, yes – otherwise I shall get cold feet,” replied a worried Bernie. Serena made the call.
“Yes, Ric – twice in one day! You are a lucky chap,” Serena turned as she spoke to wink at the other woman. Bernie rolled her eyes.
“No, I’m not in any trouble – look, Ric, listen this is going to be difficult to explain. Umm, you are going to be shocked. Are you sitting down? Good. Right, well in August I received a phone call from the British military….,” Bernie stared out across the sea, watching the colours fade as the sky darkened, a hum of chatter whirling around her. She took a sip of her birthday whiskey, trying to savour the taste as a distraction from the task in hand.
“No, it hasn’t been easy, but we are working through it all, day by day. Yes, she is here, right by me. But, Ric, she many only be able to talk for a short moment, okay. I will pass the phone to her.” Serena held the mobile out towards Bernie, who looked startled as she returned to the present.
“Bernie, you can speak now,” Serena nudged the phone into the woman’s hand and smiled.
“Oh, err, yes,” Bernie placed the phone to her ear, took a deep breath, then spoke, “Rocky! Yes, I am alive.”
“My god! Bernie…, I just can’t believe it. This, this is wonderful. It is so good to hear your voice. How are you?”
“Hmm, good. Getting there. Never thought, I would be sitting looking out over the ocean in Spain talking to you.” Bernie turned to Serena, not sure what else to say.
“Look, Bernie – this must be extremely difficult for you, so I won’t keep you on the phone. But damn, it is so fantastic to have you back, old friend. Next time, we shall facetime. Pass me back to Serena. And look after yourself.”
“I will, Ric. Thank you.” Bernie let go of the mobile like it was a hot potato, relieved that she had made it through the first of many calls that were yet to come. Serena promised to contact Ric again soon, then ended the call.
“Well, that was more exhausting then I thought it would be,” Serena puffed out, “Darling, how do you feel?” she asked taking Bernie’s hand once again.
“Drained,” Bernie yawned, “I suddenly felt so unsure of who I was. It seemed like a lifetime since I last spoke with Ric. I am sorry, Serena, but I need to go to bed.”
“It’s fine. Look, you took a massive step today, darling. Ric is going to keep this to himself. You have nothing to worry about in that regard. Let’s sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning.” Serena shuffled out of the blankets.
“Come on, love – let’s have an early night together and get comfy in bed. Unless - are you hungry? We only had a light lunch.”
“I, I’d like that – I mean bed. I haven’t the stomach for food, but don’t you want some supper?” Bernie asked.
“No, I’ve gone past wanting anything – I’ll just make us both a herbal tea and bring them downstairs.”
Bernie stood, unwrapping herself from the blankets too. She took Serena’s arm’s and pulled her up from the sofa, placing a long kiss on her lips.
“Thank you for helping me today, Serena.”
“You know I would do anything for you, darling. We are a team.” Serena smiled then made her way to the kitchen. Bernie watched her walk inside; thankful she and Serena had managed to find their way back to each other.
Chapter 3
Unexpected bright February morning sunlight danced across closed eyes, waking Serena. She turned over to find an empty space next to her. She slowly rose from the bed, wrapping herself up in her dressing gown and sliding her feet into her comfy leopard print fluffy slippers. As she made her way into the study, a light snoring emanated from the other bedroom. Standing by the open door, Serena’s eyes fell on a still sleeping Bernie, lying flat on her back, both arms stretched up over her head. She quietly stepped into the room towards the dressing table that was situated in front of the window. Bernie had commandeered it as a desk, having moved the mirror and a few toiletry items to the top of the nearby chest of drawers.
Serena scanned her eyes over the array of sketch papers, handwritten notes, a couple of medical publications and then to a new cork covered bound journal that Bernie had recently purchased. Propped up against a wooden pencil case was a photograph that Serena hadn’t seen before. It was of her and Bernie in the garden. It must have been one Lee took on his phone, she thought. A finger traced a delicate line around her beloved’s face in the picture. Bernie was grinning, while holding the chain saw she had so enjoyed using that day cutting the dead tree down, while Serena was turned looking at her laughing, with her left arm around Bernie’s shoulders.
Smiling to herself, Serena sat on the side of the bed, watching Bernie sleeping. She was pleased to see that the woman looked peaceful, even though she knew that Bernie must have been restless during the night, thus taking herself into this bed, so not to disturb her. As she thought about making coffee, Bernie slowly opened her eyes.
“Hello you, fitful night?” Serena whispered.
“Oh, umm, m-morning, love,” came a croaky reply, “weird dreams and my back was playing me up. Didn’t want to disturb you, so walked around the study and then crashed out in here.” Bernie brought her arms down and reached out towards the seated Serena.
“Good we’ve got this bedroom for you, darling. Do you want me to take a look at your back?”
“Yes, please. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to distance myself from you. It’s just – it helps having somewhere to retreat to when, it – it all gets a little overwhelming.”
“Bernie, it’s fine. We already discussed it. If coming in here to sleep or to work at the desk is beneficial to you, then I am happy. And if it means my study desk is left clutter free for my use then win-win!” Serena chuckled, as Bernie gave her a loving swat on the arm.
“Hmm, Serena, I think I will need a bit more time to prepare myself for contacting Cameron and Charlotte. I know, I sound like a coward, but I need to work out what I want to say to them both. Do you understand?” tired eyes looked expectantly at Serena.
“Darling, I do. Lets take today and the weekend to relax, then next week make a plan of action, yes?”
“Yes, thank you.” Bernie gave a shy smile.
“Oh, by the way when did you receive the photo of us both – the one on the desk.” Serena turned her head looking over to it.
“Ahh, yes – it was in an envelope with my birthday flowers from Chris and Lee. I was going to show you it. Perhaps we could put it in a frame?”
“Excellent idea. It’s a lovely picture of us both. Oh, and of that chain saw too!” laughed Serena.
Bernie snorted, “Okay, cheeky. Right, breakfast.”
Serena placed a hand on the other woman’s chest halting her from getting out of bed, “Love, I want to ask – now that you have your driving licence, how about I get your name added to my insurance, so you can start driving again.”
“Oh, are you sure? I mean that would be brilliant.” Bernie sat up with a sly grin, “though it does mean having to drive Dusty – there goes my street cred!”
“Hush you! I can take back the offer.” Serena moved off the bed, to the doorway smirking, “come on, coffee, a back massage and then a phone call to my insurance broker.”
“Yes, Fräulein.” Bernie gave a salute, then gingerly got out of bed.
Chapter 4
“Well, as romance goes, this wasn’t what I was expecting, standing in line for a Covid jab on Valentine’s Day,” Serena laughed under her facemask.
“But just think, afterwards I am driving us up into the hills for our picnic, so silver lining.” Bernie replied through her mask.
“Hmm, yes, but be careful with Dusty. You were obviously a bit rusty on the driving front getting us to the clinic.”
“Yes, well what did you expect, love – first time behind a vehicle in about eighteen months and a noddy car to boot!” came an indignant reply.
“Ms Campbell,” a voice called over, stopping Serena from retorting back to the jibe about her Fiat.
“Ah, Doctor Lopez, thank you for sorting out all our paperwork for the jabs.” Serena walked over to the masked-up female clinician in burgundy scrubs, dark hair tied back into a ponytail, who was stood by a workstation.
Serena placed a hand on Bernie’s shoulder, “this is Major Wolfe.”
“Ah, Major, so good to finally meet you in person. Señora Garcia can never stop talking about you and of course the dear Ms Campbell too, when she decides to come in for her check-ups.” Bernie gave a small nod of acknowledgement to the fellow medic.
“Oh, did Lucia come in for her jab and blood-pressure?” asked Serena.
“Ay! Finally – I am so thankful she has a physician as a friend, well of course both of you now to make her see a bit of sense!”
“Are you administering our jabs?” Serena enquired.
“Yes, first-class treatment for our eminent surgeons today. All medical staff are performing immunisation duties here to get through the programme.”
“Well, thank you Doctor Lopez – we both appreciate.” Bernie replied.
The grey clouds lifted as the pink Fiat made its way through the hillsides. The radio was quietly playing pop songs. Bernie was finally feeling comfortable behind the wheel, gaining confidence in her driving abilities on the thirty minutes’ drive to the edge of the national park.
“Darling if you pull over to the right where that parking sign is we can park and walk up the pathway to sit.” Bernie did as Serena instructed. Turing the engine off she looked over to the other woman, “so did my driving pass muster this time?”
“Definitely, Major!” Serena leaned over kissing Bernie on the cheek, “let’s get out – there are some spectacular views around here.” The couple made their way through a dusty track to a grass clearing, where they laid a picnic blanket and cooler bag down.
As they sat down, Serena opened the bag up with their late lunch. She pulled out a small bottle of cava with two plastic wine glasses, waving them, “a few bubbles, but safely under the limit – up for a glass?” she asked with a glint in her eye.
“Oh, how can I say no, when you look at me like that!” chuckled Bernie.
“Good. Now you do the business with the drink, while I get the food out, love.” Serena handed the bottle and glasses over, then laid out the lunch.
“At least this little bottle was a screw top – no surprising pops!” Bernie stated as she poured cava into the glasses.
“Oh, Bernie – I am so sorry. I should have known better.” Serena looked up in horror as realised her error.
“Its fine, love really. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Bernie gave the other woman her two-eye wink for reassurance, “this looks amazing, Serena. When did you make all this?” as she surveyed the feast.
“Well, while you were in the study preoccupied with car detailing videos on YouTube last night, I was batch cooking.”
“Was I on the laptop that long – I got a bit distracted. All this prep for Lucia’s Seat.”
“Hmm, yes, darling – it was nearly three hours. Oh, and it hasn’t just been cars, has it?” Serena asked with a devilish grin.
“What do you mean?” came an innocent reply.
“Oh, Bernie – the browser history. First it was landscape gardening, now its car detailing and carpentry!” Serena laughed as she placed slices of her homemade quiche, salad, and coleslaw onto their plates, “when you go down a study rabbit hole, you disappear.”
“Well, at least its practical useful skill learning. Every time I open the laptop Google ads for lesbian literature keep popping up – care to explain, Campbell?” Bernie retorted.
Serena blushed slightly, but raised an eyebrow, “a girl needs a hobby!”
They both laughed, Bernie hooting away, as they raised their glasses.
“The views and scenery are incredible up here, Serena, especially now the clouds have lifted. I need to take my coat off, it’s quite warm now.” Bernie shifted to remove her hooded, khaki green coat. She rolled it up to make it into a make-shift cushion behind her back.
“Think I’ll do the same.” Serena removed her dark blue Barbour quilted jacket, rolling it up, “here, let me place it with yours and then you’ve got better support. Open your legs.”
“Pardon?” Bernie raised her eyes in surprise.
“Oh, nothing naughty, Major! I can lie into you, and we can take in the views.” Serena smiled while she shuffled herself backwards into open arms. She held a tub of chopped melon in one hand.
Bernie rested her chin on the other woman’s right shoulder, drinking the views of the sea and the surrounding green, rocky landscape, “the picnic was delicious, this has all been a lovey surprise, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Serena replied as she popped a piece of melon into Bernie’s mouth. “Our first proper Valentine’s Day. I, umm wasn’t in any fit state to celebrate after Ellie’s death and then, well through different circumstances, we were never together on the day other times. I thought a drive up here with a picnic would be just the ticket today.”
“Certainly is, love.” Bernie tightened her hold around Serena and kissed her neck. “You know, all that chat the other day about whether you were going to stay in Spain, or consider returning to England, to a career, well, err, am I part of that with you? I mean you said we are a team, and well, I see – I do see a future with us together. I obviously repressed some painful memories while I was captured. But the therapy and then our short conversation has brought back images and words said on the day we parted.”
A silence hung in the afternoon air while Serena gathered her thoughts – swings, slippers, and bins. Words she deeply regretted, leading to actions that changed both women’s lives. “I see a future with you too, Bernie – us together, regardless of whether we continue to live here or return home. I am not losing you again. We will need to have a serious conversation about our careers, where we are going to live, but there is so much else we need to focus on for now. But I meant it – we are a team, as best friends, lovers, and surgeons. I, I have never, ever felt such utter deep love for anyone, only you, darling.”
“Wow! I, I umm – it has always been you Serena, you are the one, you have and always will be. Gosh, how can I express how I feel,” Bernie paused, Serena waited, “maybe this will; it’s impossible for me to say how much I love you. My love for you is higher than the heavens, deeper than Hades, and broader than the Earth.”
Serena shifted around, pulling Bernie’s head towards her with left arm, “where did you get that those beautiful words from?”
“Well, I cannot lie – not me, but Philip Glass, his opera Einstein on the Beach. My Granny despised minimalist music. I would listen to it in my bedroom with headphones on. The vinyl had disappeared when I returned from boarding school one summer.”
“Oh, darling, just kiss me. I Iove you.”
TO BE CONTINUED