Remorseless

It was dark when Zara's eyes creaked open. She couldn't make a lot out, but one thing she was sure of, is that she wasn't in a lab or a cell. She propped herself a little, wincing with pain as she did, a hand pressing itself against her pounding head, finding a bandage there. She screwed her face up a little at the sour taste in her mouth, paired with her sore throat and queasy stomach which could only mean she'd been sick at some point.

As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she came to realize that she was laid out on an old couch with a wool blanket thrown over her, and her wounds were cleaned and dressed. She wasn't tied up or restrained in any way, and she was in clean clothes, her hair still a little damp around the roots and smelled of soap.

What the hell?

She jammed her eyes shut as she put the puzzle together. If he'd wanted her dead, she'd be dead. Simple as that. If he'd wanted to hurt her, she'd be hurt... Which she technically was, but then again she'd fought against him, and he'd hit her once, just enough to shut her up without doing any permanent damage... But then someone had obviously cleaned her up. Had she been rescued along the way? If so, where the hell was Bucky?
She suddenly found herself worried about him. She swung her feet off the couch, her stomach rolling again as she paused to gather herself up, the back of her hand over her mouth as she waited for the nausea to pass. The floorboards under her feet creaked as she stood up slowly, holding the arm rest to steady herself as she wobbled a little. She held her breath, waiting for someone to come running in, and much to her relief nobody did. She let her breath out again, making her way over to the kitchen slowly, peering out the window as she did. It looked like they were in the middle of nowhere.
It was raining heavily outside, Zara crossing her arms for warmth as she gave a shiver. They weren't in the city anymore, and by the looks of it, they weren't even in the suburbs, acres of land stretching out for miles out of the kitchen window.

She reached out, taking the only glass on the bench, and filling it with water from the tap, rinsing her mouth out and spitting it back into the sink. She stood for a moment as that nauseous feeling hit her again, passing quickly as she refilled her glass and had a big drink, and then another.
While she was alone, she'd have to find a weapon. Zara wondered where her clothes and weapons had been put, if they were even here with her. There was bound to be a knife or something she could use to protect herself, her battered body not really up for fighting or acrobatics. Her tracker had been removed from around her wrist, but if it was anywhere in the house, she'd be found if Shield were looking. At the moment she didn't have time to waste worrying about Shield, if she wasn't at the base, they'd be wondering where she was, that much was certain. Right now she needed shoes, a weapon, and a plan.

Zara gave herself a little pep talk in her head, gathering herself up as she turned to search the house for what she needed, catching a glimpse of him sitting by the front window, a single beam of moonlight illuminating his eyes as he watched her. She stopped dead in her tracks, her lips parting a little as she tried to figure him out. His face was deadpan, the wheels in his head obviously turning, waiting for her to react, but he stayed still as a statue as he studied her. Zara swallowed, her stomach tightening uncomfortably when she realized that Bucky was still not... Himself.
Her mind raced as she tried to think of something intelligent to say, possibly even something meaningful and poetic to 'break the spell' so to speak. Seconds ticked by in slow motion as she frantically tried to rack her brain, nothing useful coming to mind. She closed her gaping mouth, opting to do exactly as he did, just watch and wait.

If he spoke up first, she'd at least know where they were at. The fact that he hadn't jumped to his feet to attack her was somewhat comforting... Not quite comforting enough to quash the feeling he gave her with his 'I'm sitting here like a hunter that's stalking its prey' face. She let out a slow breath. If she wasn't going to say anything, and he wasn't going to say anything, and she wasn't going to react, and he wasn't-

Oh Christ, what the hell am I even doing here?

She bit her lip. He hadn't made a move yet, so she'd make one. Maybe he was catatonic? Maybe she could gather up her boots and guns and he'd just sit there as if the evil Snow Queen from that movie the other night had turned him to stone?

Here we go...

She took a deep breath, scanning the room with her eyes, catching his mouth twitch a little when her eyes locked with his again. Taking a step back, she let her eyes roam again, keeping him in her peripheral sight as she moved slowly from the kitchen. He straightened up a little when she got to the entrance of the hallway, but still didn't go after her. She watched him carefully as she made her way down the hallway, her back against the wall until she came to a door, half open. Peering through the crack, it seemed that it was a bedroom, and there was a military duffel bag on the floor.

Jackpot.

She heard the lounge chair creak as he stood up, and decided to make a dash for it. She darted into the bedroom, closing the door behind her and pressing the lock. Locks had never held him before, but it offered a small sense of security as she darted for the bag, pulling out a knife which she shoved down the back of her pants and a handgun which she held up at the door with trembling hands.
Heavy footprints came up the hallway, making her doubt her decision, thinking it was stupid, rather than gutsy. In a last minute change of mind, she dropped the handgun, kicking it under the bed. If she didn't threaten him, he wouldn't threaten her, right?

Here's hoping...

Her thoughts were interrupted when the door was ripped open, torn completely from its hinges, Bucky tossing the remains of it away. He lowered his head, glaring up at her through his eyelashes as he strode towards her, his mouth curled up in an angry snarl. She swallowed hard, quickly backing away from him till her shoulders touched the wall, hands up in a non-threatening gesture to show she was unarmed. He kept coming regardless, a dangerous expression on his face that went straight through her. She jammed her eyes shut as she pressed herself against the wall, Bucky closing the gap between them in no time at all. He grabbed her by the upper arm, pulling her away from the wall and spinning her around roughly. She gasped as her body came into contact with his, hard, the back of her head hitting his chest. At lightning speed, he'd fished the knife out of the back of her pants and pressed it against her throat, hard enough for her to know that he meant business.
Zara held herself perfectly still, afraid to aggravate him any further. He hadn't slit her throat, he was threatening her. Trying to intimidate and overpower her - well not trying, he was doing a pretty damn good job of both if she was honest with herself. Her body trembled against his, her heart racing and her breathing quickening.
She could feel his hair against her cheek, his hot breath against her neck. It was hard to fathom this was someone she loved, someone who had always kept her safe... Someone who had vowed to protect her no matter what, and now here he was holding a blade against her throat...

He took it away, turning her to face him, his face almost touching hers as he glared at her, making her shiver again. He sneered at her, shoving her against the wall, which she hit with an 'oof' before catching her balance again.

"What the hell are you doing in here!?" He snarled at her, his expression dangerous and terrifying. Zara swallowed hard.

Yay, he speaks!

"Looking for the bathroom..." She said nervously.
He screwed his face up in anger, stepping towards her, flipping the knife casually in one hand, her eyes locking into it for a moment before darting back to his. The corner of his mouth curved up a little, amused at her fear. He shook his head at her, the knife pointing in her direction as he raised his brows, gesturing for her to try the truth this time as he cocked his head a little.

"I... I was checking the place out. That's all."
"You were checking my weapons out."
"Wouldn't you do the same if you were in my shoes?" She asked, desperation in her voice. He let out a breath, pocketing the knife as he grabbed her by the arm, giving her a shove out the door and guiding her down the hallway.

"Bathroom's in there" he said, reaching around to hit the light switch.
Zara turned to look at him over her shoulder, the dangerous look now gone from his face as he gestured towards the open door.
"Thanks..."

Holy shit... Holy fucking shit...

Zara closed the door behind her, leaning against the counter as she started at her reflection in the mirror. Her breath heaved, the world spinning still as she tried to make sense of it all. She swallowed hard, she had to calm down. Having an anxiety attack wasn't going to help anything, nor was crying, yelling or doing any of the other things she felt like doing.

Get your shit together, Zee. You can do this.

She let out a breath, admittedly feeling much better after having a pee and giving her hands and face a wash. Curiosity got the better of her as she peeled the bandage up to check the wound on her head, and to her surprise it had been a cut deep enough that had needed stitching. Whoever had been the one to change her out of her combat gear, bathe her and wash her hair, had most likely been the same person who'd stitched her cut up again. She suddenly wondered if it was Bucky, wondered if they were alone, how long they'd been here, where the hell they were. She grit her teeth, pulling the bathroom door open and striding confidently into the main room, hitting the light as she did.

"Bucky!?" She called out, her tone somewhat irritated, "Bucky, where ARE you!?"
He appeared behind her, giving her the second fright of her life that night, stepping closer than she appreciated. She backed away from him, her butt hitting the island counter in the kitchen. He leaned against the wall, waiting for her to speak, absent-mindedly playing with the knife he still had in his hand. Zara swallowed hard again.

"Where are we?" She demanded, making him chuckle darkly, in turn getting annoyed with him.
"Where ARE w-" She repeated herself, not getting through her sentence before he cut her off aggressively.
"You think I'd tell YOU that?" He snapped, stepping closer. He towered over her, using the obvious height difference between the two of them to his advantage. His lip curled into a cocky half-smile for a moment when her breath hitched, his expression dropping again just as quickly when she had the guts to let the questions keep coming.

"Who's responsible for this?" She said, gathering courage as she pointed at her head where the wound was. "I know you hit me, who stitched it up? Who cleaned ME up!?"

Bucky let out an annoyed breath. His job wasn't to answer questions or placate her, it was to keep her here until further notice, and keep her safe and alive. Well, as alive as possible. If she died in his care, they'd threatened him with the same fate. If she kept blasting him with questions, his temper wasn't going to hold up its end of the bargain...

"Was it you?" She persisted, her voice cracking a little. He stopped twirling his knife, gripping the handle tightly now. She glanced down, noticing his hand tremble a little.
"Bucky... Talk to me... We can beat this..." She soothed, her expression softening when she noticed the look in his eyes - a mixture of anger and confusion.

She just wanted to pull him into a hug and hold him for a while. It didn't matter how helpless she was against him, he was bigger, stronger, faster, and she was his prisoner for all intents and purposes... But none of that mattered, he was in pain, and more than anything, he needed rescuing, not her. He'd hate himself for this when he came to, if he remembered any of it, which she hoped he wouldn't...
Her brows pinched together in concern for him, his eyes jammed shut and a fist gripping his hair. His mouth was curled into a snarl, his expression absolutely breaking her heart.

"Bucky, I'm right here..." She soothed again, taking a step towards him, holding a hand out.

Bad idea...

His eyes snapped open, full of rage. Zara gasped, pulling her hand away but not fast enough. He stepped in to shove her away, hard. She hit the ground with a thud, winded. Her eyes widened up at him as he stepped over her, yanking her to her feet and pushing her up against a wall.
"Don't push me, you have no IDEA who you're dealing with" He snarled, his eyes full of pain and fury.
"Bucky I'm sorry... I just want to help you. I know you, and you're not yourself..."
"You need to shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you"
"Do you know who I am to you?" She pleaded, not caring about the risks.
"You're my mission"
"What's my NAME!?" She demanded, watching his face screw up again, baring his teeth as his eyes jammed shut. He let out a growl, shaking off whatever had overcome him, turning her back to him and pressing her against himself, wrapping his arm around her neck, and the other around her body.
"Shut up! Shut up or I'll SHUT you up!"
"It's Zara Jones..." She choked out as he began to constrict her, his breath heaving and his body shaking as much as hers was. Tears ran down her face as her heart rate went through the roof, panic well and truly set in.
"I'm your girlfriend... You said you'd never hurt me..." She sobbed, trying to force another reaction out of him, but he was too far gone. She'd never seen him in such a state before.

Steve, Tony... Where the HELL are you!?

"The picture in your wallet..." She choked out, as his arm tightened around her throat. She opened her mouth to finish the sentence, but words failed her as her eyes drooped, and then nothing...




Sleeper hold... I should have known. You shouldn't have pushed him, those are the rules here. Don't push him, and don't threaten him.

He'll win every time and you just keep walking into it.

What do you expect me to do, sit here and wait for Grant fucking Ward to rock up?

It's either that or let Barnes kill you. If he wakes up knowing he's hurt you that's bad enough... If he kills you...

He won't kill you.

He felt something tonight. You started breaking him, you just have to keep chipping away and he'll come round.

Are you forgetting you're not an invincible super soldier? Have you seen your cuts, scraped and bruises? The domestic violence look really doesn't become you...

None of that fucking matters. This is temporary!




Zara's eyes opened slowly, daylight peeking through the blinds, making her squint as she shook off her internal argument with herself. Leaving Bucky was never going to be an option. She was pretty sure her body couldn't take any more abuse if she kept challenging him, but it was the one thing that was getting through to him...

She sat up from her spot on the couch, still under the wool blanket.

He might beat the crap out of you, but at least he doesn't let you freeze...

She jammed her eyes shut again, not wanting to listen to her brain. She let out a breath, opening them and standing up to make her way to the bathroom, noticing something on the kitchen bench which made her stop in her tracks. It was the photo from his wallet, the one of him and her at one of Tony's parties. Bucky in a t-shirt and combat pants, and her in a tight red mini-dress, her long hair over her shoulders. He was hugging her from behind and they were both smiling into the camera.
Zara's stomach tightened, he'd seen the photo, and had it out. Who knows how long he'd looked at it for, what had gone through his mind when he'd found it, or why he'd left it out.

She bit her lip, longing to go back to the night from the photo, back when everything was fine. At this rate it wasn't going to happen unless she got him far away from here. If she couldn't crack him psychologically, then the only other option was to get him far away enough from Larson to break the connection. No mean feat, considering she not only had no idea where THEY were, she also had no idea where Larson and Ward were. If she made the wrong choice, going towards them was only going to strengthen the connection, and she was going to be doing this completely blind. With a fifty percent chance of making the wrong decision.

"Great..." She muttered to herself.

The other fun part was thinking of the statistics of how many people have gotten away from Bucky Barnes when he was in psycho-killer mode... That would be all of, well one. Steve Rogers... Who's a super soldier... She let out a long breath. The OTHER fun part was thinking how she was going to move him. She had zero chance of knocking him out in a fight, she couldn't drug him, and the thought of HER putting HIM into a sleeper hold was just plain laughable. She'd have to get him to chase her, and she'd have to get out by car, because on foot, she had zero chance against him.

The only way of getting him to chase me, is if I get out of this house in one piece... And steal his keys, and take his car... And drive slow enough for him to give chase, but fast enough that I don't get taken down. This is really, really going to piss him off, and if he catches me, I'm pretty sure I can kiss my ass goodbye for good... That and Bucky goes back to a life of Hydra torture, although they'd probably freeze him and thaw him out in 80 years when everyone who knows him is dead...

Zara gave a shiver just thinking about it. The only way she'd get his keys is if she disabled him, which meant she had to get her hands on a gun. He'd put the duffel bag away, but she was pretty sure the handgun she kicked under the bed would still be there. If she shot at him, he'd heal quick, so she'd have to have her wits about her, and keep moving, and she'd have to get started asap. For all she knew, Larson and Ward were probably on their way to pick them up already.

Another time sensitive death mission... And this time, I'm up against the Winter Soldier... Jesus Christ...

Zara shook her head as she gathered her thoughts, only now starting to feel like there was light at the end of the tunnel. A long, dark, bloody tunnel, but one they were going to get through if she could pull this off.

Shooting the man I love intentionally should be a barrel of laughs... Trust me to have to just about kill someone to save them... Not to mention myself. Typical...

She let out a long sigh as she made her way to the bathroom, catching Bucky watching her from his broken bedroom door. She lowered her head as she stepped into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind her.

Time to suit up, girl.