Love, she thinks, is for children.
She is not a child.
She does not love.
Not even her friends.
When she meets him, she thinks he's insane.
He's crazy, he ogles her, he has no respect for anyone except for himself (and sometimes, she wonders if he respects himself – normal people don't piss in front of a whole crowd of onlookers. Then again, Stark has never been normal) and he's much too eccentric for her taste. She tolerates him, for a while, finds herself amazed at Pepper and her ridiculously stunning ability to handle the playboy billionaire that is Tony Stark.
Natasha is good at pretending. She's good at pretending to be Natalie Rushman who, unlike Natasha Romanoff, can take the junior Stark's behavior all in her stride.
In her report; she does her best to warn Fury how intolerable he can be to those who aren't prepared. She says he isn't fit for the Avengers. She doesn't regret it.
The next time she sees him, he hacks her quinjet. It pisses her off a little, because it's her jet (no matter how often Fury reminds her that it's actually his and, by definition, SHIELD's) andnobody hacks her jet.
She appreciates the song choice, though.
She also appreciates it when he subdues Loki.
Very much so.
They become friends slowly, over a few restless nights, a few more bottles of jack. A few AC/DC tracks down the road, and they realise that they're much more alike than they first thought.
But she doesn't love him.
Even as a friend.
Natasha does not love, because love is for children.
"Nat. Nat. Nat. Nat. Nat. Oi. Nat!"
She glares, brow furrowed and arms folded over her chest. The black leather of her new SHIELD cat suit rubs uncomfortably on her arms. It's not quite stretchy enough yet. "What?"
He hands her a comic book, grinning evilly. "I had one of my staff, he's obsessed with writing comics by the way, draw this up for us! Nat! Look at the cover!"
She looks down, raises her eyebrows, purses her lips and then laughs out loud when she reads the title.
The Adventures of IronWidow as they take over the Whole World.
"No way!" She grins, still laughing. "Did you give him a pay raise? You gotta give him a pay raise!"
Tony raises his eyebrows. "Now, what kind of super villain would I be if I gave the guy a pay raise?"
Natasha scowls. "You're not a super villain yet. Give the guy a pay raise, Stark."
The billionaire raises his hands in surrender. "Okay! Okay! I'm on it!"
She watches him go, laughing to herself, and slowly pockets the comic book.
She's going to keep this one.
She still doesn't love him.
Not even as a friend.
"You love me though, right?" Clint looks concerned when she voices her views on love aloud to her eldest friend.
"You have a wife," Natasha snaps. "You have a family. Jesus, Clint."
Clint points a finger in her direction, eyebrows raised. "You can love someone platonically, Nat. Don't you know anything?"
She snorts. "I so do." She says earnestly.
She doesn't want to admit that she doesn't.
Maybe she loves Clint a little bit.
He's kind of the only exception.
(He starts singing when she tells him that; "you ar-eeee the only exceptionnnnnn!" She tells him to shut up.)
She gets kidnapped.
She's in a cell, there's a man standing above her, pants unbuckled. She's wincing because she knows what's happening. She's only leverage, but she figures they don't care what they do to her so long as she isn't dead.
If only she could get her damned shackles off.
Fuck.
She's glaring at her captor, eyes green and bright and defiant, and she's prepared to rip him to pieces with words until he's the one begging for mercy… but then a bullet goes through his brain and there's blood all over her face but she doesn't care because Clint's here goddammit.
She looks up, jolts upright and gapes visibly at the sight in front of her.
There's Tony, covered in blood and mud, standing amongst a couple of dead guys and glaring at the dude in front of Nat like he's more disgusting than anything he's ever seen in his whole life.
"They told me not to come." He says, pursing his lips and gripping the gun even tighter in his hands. "I'm very fucking glad I did. You okay?"
Her eyes are wide, and she's so confused.
Why isn't he in his suit?
He smirks. "JARVIS was repairing it," he says, and she realises she'd spoken out loud. "I just decided to wing it."
"Right." She mutters. "Yeah, okay."
He'd risked everything for her.
He loves her (platonically, she knows).
She doesn't love him, but she thinks she may be able to learn how.