From a very young age, Natasha had been taught to be the epitome of stealth; her lithe body, small stature, and impressive reflexes had ensured that she had always been the best of the best, just the way she liked it. However, in order to remain the best, she had to hone her skills every now and then. She did this by sneaking up on her teammates any chance she got. The looks on their faces when she appeared out of nowhere always made her warm with pride.
As she had been wandering around the tower looking for a new victim, she had noticed Steve lounging in the living room by himself. She counted back her past encounters with the others and reckoned he was due for his turn to be spooked.
As she made her way closer and closer on silent feet, creeping along step by step, she got close enough to see that something was obviously wrong. She paused, noticing just what he was doing on the sofa. Not napping, like she had originally thought. His massive shoulders were shaking slightly, his breath hitching as he tried to breathe calmly. With wide eyes, Natasha quickly backtracked. She knew what silent sobbing looked like; when you were trying to be quiet even when you were dying a little inside.
She went back to the doorway silently, before stomping her feet just enough to announce her presence. She glanced down at the tablet in his hands as she rounded the couch and saw familiar footage playing on a loop; the black and white newsreel from the Smithsonian of him and Bucky laughing and clapping each other on the shoulders, looking as if the war was the furthest thing from their minds.
Steve hadn’t greeted her. He was still staring down at the flickering video, his eyes squinting against the gathering tears. Wet tracks were already running down his cheeks and he was biting his lip, shoulders slumped and sad. He had obviously been at this for a good while, now.
“Steve?” she asked quietly, place a small hand on his broad shoulder. He blinked quickly, using one hand to wipe away at his eyes, the other still holding the tablet tightly. Once he was a little more clear-faced, he turned slightly and gave her a shaky smile.
“Hey, Nat. What’s up?” Even his voice sounded exhausted.
Natasha’s expression was stern and no-nonsense; she would not be so easily put off. He caught the look on her face and she watched as his shoulders slowly deflated under her gaze, the fake smile disintegrating piece by piece. “That’s better,” she said quietly, carefully sliding his arms through Steve’s and patting his hand as she sat on the arm of the sofa. “No, do you want to talk about it? I’m all ears,” she promised, squeezing his arm reassuringly. She kind of hoped he would say no, even though she wanted to help him. She just had never really been good at the whole ‘human emotions’ thing.
Steve’s breath hitched, and then his tears were falling freely down onto his lap as he tilted his head down, trying to hide it away from her and doing a piss-poor job of it. “I just, I was thinking about Bucky earlier. And I thought, maybe if I watched the old footage I would feel better. But I don’t. I feel so much worse.”
Natasha deliberated for about two seconds before reaching up to run a hand through Steve’s short hair, reminiscent of that night from just a few weeks before. “Oh, my poor baby,” she crooned softly, her voice low and tender, just loud enough for the two of them to hear.
Steve bristled automatically and turned giant, betrayed eyes on her. She kept her face soft and open, though, and he quickly realized that she wasn’t poking at his pain like he had thought. Slowly, the tension bled from his shoulders and he allowed himself to lean back into her body, sighing with his whole body once they made contact.
“Do you want to play for a bit? It might make you feel a little better.” Steve thought about it for a minute, biting his lip hard as he peeked over at Natasha through his lashes. Finally, he gave her the tiniest of nods and seemed to completely relax when gave him a blinding smile in return.
“Ok. Good. Come on, baby. Let’s go somewhere a little more private, then.” She stood and held out her hand, waiting patiently for Steve to take ahold of it. He stared blankly for a long moment before he tentatively reached out for it, holding on tight. He trailed behind Natasha calmly like a tired little puppy.
They took the elevator down to Natasha’s rooms and Steve didn’t question her, just continued to follow her as she led him from the elevator and deeper in to her apartment. He looked around the room warily, feeling like he might be intruding, even while he held on to Natasha’s hand. The Black Widow never really like it when people invaded her space, yet here she was, leading him through her private rooms like it wasn’t a big deal at all.
“What should I call you?” Steve asked timidly, noticing that he was already slipping quickly into the same headspace he had found himself in back when Bruce and Nat had browbeaten him in relaxing after their last major mission. He felt exactly like a little boy trailing after her. She turned around and gave him a calm, steady smile. It wasn’t her seductive Widow smile, or the tight twist of lips she gave when she was amused about something. It seemed more real, more natural than anything he had ever seen on her face before. It made his stomach twist happily knowing that she had graced him with something so special and rare.
“I’m not mother material, I’m afraid,” she admitted, but Steve made a noise of disapproval at that, pouting back at her with his worried little face. “Alright, I’m not comfortable as a mother. But I think I can give you Auntie Nat. Is that alright, baby?”
Somewhere deep in his mind, Steve was almost glad that Nat wasn’t trying to replace his mother. He had loved her so much, and her death had left jagged cracks in his soul. He was so very grateful that Natasha was giving him something he had never had before, and was cognizant enough to realize that he didn’t actually want a mother. An aunt would be much better, he thought.
“Auntie Nat?” he repeated, feeling the weight of the words on his tongue, smiling at the way they made him feel. He could feel himself slipping fast, and turned wide eyes to Nat.
She seemed to realize just what the look meant, because she smiled back and tugged him further into the apartment. “Alright, let’s get you settled and then we can play.” She bit her lip and tilted his head, studying him carefully before depositing him on the sofa. Steve relaxed a little at her uncertain look; it meant he wasn’t alone in fumbling his way through this. She was learning her way through all of this, just like him.
“Do you think you’re up for a little experimentation, sweetie?” she asked calmly, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, casually looking back at him over her shoulder. Steve just furrowed his brow in confusion. With a little tilt of the head, she met his gaze and smiled again. “Do you want to try a different age than last time? Go a little younger, maybe?”
Steve twisted the hem of his shirt in his hands, staring down at his feet. He was feeling awfully vulnerable today. Would it be so terrible to just go with whatever Natasha was hinting at? Maybe he would even enjoy it. He shrugged and waited for her to return with whatever it was she had stashed away.
She returned a few minutes later, a large bin in her hands. Steve couldn’t help himself from looking just a bit curiously in her direction as she settled beside him on the sofa. Without ever thinking, he curled up next to her, burrowing into her side with a content little sigh. Natasha laughed and it was like music to Steve’s ears. It made him feel even more warm and content in the moment than he had been before. With one hand, she lovingly threaded it through his short hair; with the other, she opened up the box. Steve moved with her hand, leaning forward to peek inside the box, feeling his eyes widen at what was hidden within.
There were more of those extremely soft clothes, all big enough for him to swaddle himself comfortably. They were all covered in decidedly young designs, like teddy bears and cowboys and dinosaurs. Steve’s eyes grew huge at the sight, a tiny smile curling his lips up as he reached out to run his hands over the so-soft fabric.
Natasha watched the wonder and surprise cross his face and felt more comfortable showing him the rest of the contents of the box. Beneath the clothes was the thing she was really worrying over; a package of adult diapers she had seen while browsing, and picked up just in case it was something he might be interested in. Steve turned his attention from cooing over the clothing to what was in Natasha’s hands, and his face fell. He turned concerned eyes on to Natasha and bit his lip, gaze flickering between Natasha and the package in hands, like she was holding something dangerous like a bomb.
She reached out and ran a gentle hand across his cheek, his eyes flittering up to meet her gaze, all wide eyed and surprised. “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with them. I just thought, if you wanted to try it, we could have them on hand. And you can always try them, and if you hate them, we don’t ever have to use them again. It’s alright, whatever you want to do is fine.”
Steve gnawed on his lip anxiously, chewing it hard as he thought. He squirmed awkwardly on the sofa and stared down at the white package, feeling both wanting and aversion when he looked at it. But then he took a deep breath and actually thought about it. If he was letting Natasha take care of him, giving control over to her for a little while so he didn’t have to think for himself, then shouldn’t he just roll with it? Wouldn’t that just make everything easier? And she had said, if he didn’t like it he never had to do it again. Where was his Captain America courage, anyway?
With more than a little hesitance, Steve met her eyes and nodded, just a bit. That little admission brought the light back into her eyes, and Steve marveled numbly that anything he did could make someone so damn happy.
“Alright, baby. We’ll look at the rest of the box once we get you all comfy and dressed. Which outfit do you want to wear today?” She motioned toward the outfits Steve was crushing to his chest and Steve felt just a little overwhelmed; he shuffled through the clothes with a look of deep thought, biting his lip once more in his concentration. Finally, he handed the outfit littered with cowboys to Natasha and smiled proudly at his ability to choose. They were all so exciting and warm and comfortable, it had been such a hard choice to make!
Natasha returned his proud smile warmly and tugged him to lay down on the floor in front of the sofa. “Alright, I haven’t don’t this before, so just bear with me, okay little one?” Steve nodded, giving Natasha an understanding look back. He felt a little vulnerable on his back, with his knees bent and tugged close to his body. He wasn’t even naked yet, but he felt like it. Without really meaning to, he squeezed his eyes shut tight and just waited for the tug on his clothes that he knew was coming.
It never came, though. Confused, Steve peeked one eye open and quickly opened them both to find her staring at him intently, as if waiting for him to notice her. “If you don’t want to do this, Steve, we don’t have to. If it makes you uncomfortably, you don’t have to feel obligated just because I brought it up.”
Steve felt his heartrate kick up and squirmed unhappily beneath her gaze. “It’s not that,” he said, marveling at how tiny his voice sounded, how unsure. He winced at the sound, but Natasha’s gaze softened. She reached between his legs to rub soothingly at his stomach. The continuous movement slowly cooled his rankled nerves, and he found the courage to meet her eyes once more. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just weird. And different. But I want to do it, I want to try. You’ll be happy, and I want you to be happy…,” he trailed off when he saw her calm smile fade away at his words. He worried he had done something, said something wrong when she took her hand back. He nearly whimpered at the loss of the calming sensation.
“Steve. I told you, it doesn’t matter what I want. This is about you. This is all to make you feel better. I’m just here to give you options and help you along.”
Steve thought there was more to it than that, though. She wasn’t just there as a fixture or a means to an end. She was supposed to be his Auntie Nat, and he was pretty sure aunts did more than just the bare minimum to keep their nephews alive.
He reached out for her hand, which was quite awkward when he was still sprawled on his back, and squeezed tight. “It’s not just about me, though. You wouldn’t be doing this, playing along, instigating all of this if you didn’t get just a little something out of it too. It’s not just about me, Nat.” He released her hand and braced himself, gritting his teeth lightly as he leaned all the way back again, eyes fixated on the ceiling. “Now, come on, Auntie. The baby needs a diaper, right?” He bit back a cheeky grin at the swat aimed at his thigh, but couldn’t hold back the chuckle that escaped when Nat finally broke out of her frozen state and started complaining loudly about annoying little boys that were far too observant for their own good.
This time, he was expecting the gentle tug against his jeans, and then they were being loosened and tugged down his legs. He heard them land in a heap a few feet away, and then he felt her tugging down his boxers. She was quick and methodical, and his skin had barely had the chance to grow cold before she was covering him up again, the crinkle of the plastic the only sound in the quiet room.
“Almost done, Steve. You’re doing so well,” Natasha praised, tugging the tabs and then patting him on the hip to let him know she was done. “Alright, sweetheart. You ready?” Steve took a deep breath and then peeked down at his crotch. He wasn’t really sure what he had been expecting, but the diaper didn’t actually seem all that obvious. It really looked more like a pull up than a bulky diaper, and that made him feel a little better. She must have picked up discrete ones, he mused as he shifted experimentally. He thought he might even be able to wear them beneath jeans, with no one the wiser.
With a shy little smile, Steve peeked up at Natasha through his lashes and watched her face soften once more. She touched his cheek and leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “You’re such a good boy, Steve. So brave.” She turned to lift the pajamas up and held the legs out for him to slide in to. She tugged them up to his hips and then helped him out of his shirt and into the flannel top.
When he was all dressed, Steve beamed up at Natasha from the floor, snuggling down deeper into the almost-too-large clothes. She took a moment to enjoy the picture he made, and then reached into the box for the final thing she had wanted to give to him today.
“Look what I found for you, love,” she whispered, hoping that this would set off a fresh round of tears. She had debated over purchasing the bear or not, but had finally given in and just done it.
Steve’s head jerked up when he heard her rustling through the box again, and then when she presented him with a little bear wearing a blue and red costume, along with a black domino mask, he felt the tears gathering in his eyes.
“Bucky Bear?” he asked brokenly, tugging the bear from Natasha’s hands carefully, holding it out to study it closely. He had heard they had made Captain Ameribears and Bucky Bears while they had been fighting overseas, but he had never seen one before. Even when he had woken from the ice, he hadn’t thought to look them up. “It’s a Bucky Bear,” he breathed out in awe, stroking the soft fur on his ears, his nose, his paws.
The blinding smile he gave Natasha put all her fears to rest as she gave him a big smile right back. “I’m glad you like him. I wasn’t sure if you would want him or not…,” she trailed off uncertainly, but was cut off when her air was suddenly being squeezed out of her by the sheer force of Steve’s enthusiastic hug.
“It’s a Bucky Bear, how could I not want it?” Steve said in such a way that seemed to be the epitome of ‘duh’. He was smiling ear to ear and squirming happily against Natasha’s legs. Like this, Natasha really could see him as a little boy, overexcited and lovable and adorable. She stood in front of the sofa, Steve cuddled up happily against her legs with a content little smile on his face, and felt content.
The gurgling of Steve’s stomach was what broke the moment, and Steve turned to look up at Natasha pleadingly. With a fond shake of her head, Natasha tugged Steve up to his feet and brought him into the kitchen with her. “Guess that’s my cue, huh?” Steve smiled and nodded back, the Bucky Bear squeezed close to his chest as he settled at her dining room table.
“I’ve got some coloring books and crayons here, do you want to color wile I make lunch?” Steve brightened at that, nodding enthusiastically. She dug the books out of the box and set them down, taking a moment just to watch the eagerness and care he took in choosing a picture as well as what color he wanted to use on it. It was downright adorable. The little crease between his brows, the intense way he curled over the coloring book, the way he kept one hand free to cuddle his bear close. It took all of her self-control not to snap a picture.
Finally, when her own stomach started grumbling, she ripped her eyes away from the scene long enough to start on lunch. As she cut and grilled and chopped, she kept one eye on Steve. For his part, he kept his attention mostly on his picture, but every now and then he would sneak a peek up at Natasha, mostly just to make sure she was still there. Sometimes their eyes would meet and Steve would give her a bright smile, which she just had to return, feeling so warm and calm beneath his blue-eyed gaze.
When she was finished making his grilled cheese sandwiches, she cut them up and then brought them over to him, setting the plate down in front of him and coming to hover over his shoulder, studying his picture.
“You’re a regular artist there, baby boy,” she praised, running a hand through his short cropped hair. He leaned back in to her touch and then reached out to tug the picture out of the book, twisting to shyly hand it to her. “Aww, for me? Thank you, sweetie.” She gave him another kiss and then pushed the book out of his way so he could get at his sandwiches. “Now, eat up.”
Steve did as she asked, and watched in amusement as she wandered over to her fridge and proudly hung it up on the door. She studied it fondly for a moment before turning back to Steve. She ran a hand through his hair once more and Steve practically purred at the contact. She really seemed to love playing with his hair, but he wasn’t going to complain about the attention.
“What do you want to do after lunch, little one?” Steve shrugged, tugging Bucky Bear back into his lap, looking up at her as he chewed. She had to come up with the ideas, then. Hmmm…
“Do you want to watch cartoons? Have a lazy day on the couch? Or do you want to play with Bucky Bear for a while? Or you could always color more pictures. We can do anything you like,” she promised.
Steve sat at the table and scrunched his face up, pondering over his choices. Natasha just thought he was busy looking adorable, and decided that she would need Jarvis to go back and take photos from the security feeds for her later. After a bit of deliberation, Steve turned shyly towards Natasha, biting his lip, and tugged her towards the living room. She followed easily, letting him situate her how he pleased.
“So, what are we doing, Steve?” she asked as he settled himself down beside her, his new Bucky Bear cuddled in his lap. It was practically second nature at this point to wrap an arm around his shoulders and tug him close. He let out a content little sigh and smiled, cuddling closer.
“Thank you, by the way,” he whispered, hiding his face in Nat’s shoulder while he yawned. Natasha didn’t answer right away, just hummed in response. Slowly, Steve felt himself relaxing, and then he was drifting. It was a bit uncomfortable to fall asleep sitting upright, so he shifted to lay his head on her lap instead. Natasha rolled with it, shifting just enough to make them both more comfortable, and started flicking her fingers through his hair instead.
“Can you tell me a story, Auntie Nat?” Steve asked, almost too quietly for Natasha to hear. When she looked down at his face, she saw him watching her closely, eyes half lidded and looking exhausted.
She thought for a long moment, before she smiled, and started her story.
She brought together everything she knew of his history and took the story from there. “Once upon a time, there was a little bear named Stevie. He was a really sickly cub, skinny and asthmatic with a laundry list of illnesses. He had the biggest heard anybody’d ever seen, though. And he wasn’t alone, either. He had a best friend, someone who loved little Stevie with all his heart. Bucky Bear. You know, they followed each other through school and war and everything in between.” At this point, Steve had turned to lay on his back with his head in Nat’s lap. His eyes were wide open staring up at her, looking equal parts surprised and frightened. “They watched each other’s backs no matter. They saved each other all the time.”
Her fingers continued to glide through his hair as she kept on with the story. “And even when little Stevie Bear thought his friend was lost forever, he appeared again! Right out of the blue! Poor Bucky Bear was a little scared, and a little broken, but when he comes home, little Stevie Bear will show him just how much he still loves him, and just how much he’s been missed.”
Steve sniffled, turning just enough to bury his face in Natasha’s stomach. Once he had pulled himself together just a little bit, he sat up a little to face Natasha head on.
“You really think so?” he asked, sounding just as small as he was feeling in that moment.
“I know so,” she said confidently, bringing him to rest against her chest in a half-hug. Steve sighed, his body sagging against her, and then he was sliding back down until he was laying down again. He finger continued through his hair, and the continuous motion sent him to sleep faster than anything else he had ever tried in his life.
He stayed that way, snoring lighting into Natasha’s stomach, for quite a long while. He only jerked awake a few hours later, the soft sounds of the television droning on in the background. He blinked blearily, turning to see what Natasha was watching, and rolling his eyes when he saw it was the news.
“What time is it?” he asked, his voice gravelly and hard after such a deep sleep.
“A little after six. Are ready to be big again? I’ve got your clothes in the bathroom, if you’d like to go change.”
Steve shifted a little on the couch, the diaper still wrapped around his crouch rustling as he moved. He mused over it for a moment before sighing and nodding. “I suppose I should,” he admitted, rolling off of the sofa and padding to the bathroom, where he traded out his super-soft pajamas for his jeans and flannel.
Natasha was setting two plates down on the coffee table when he returned. She smiled nonchalantly up at him, like they hadn’t spent the better part of the day role playing. He blushed a little remembering just what she had done with him earlier, but she just raised a brow at him when she saw how red his face had become.
“Come on, you need to eat. Then I promise you can go back upstairs to brood all you like, or maybe do something a little healthier. Like drawing or painting, maybe? You like art, right?”
And so they spent dinner talking about art and how much Steve really, really loved it. Even when he told her about memories that featured Bucky, he was smiling and calm, despite the pain that came with not having his friend right there with him.
When Steve stood up to head back upstairs, he paused at the doorway. Natasha had just stood to take their plates back to the kitchen when she was lifted up off the ground from behind, Steve’s giant barrel arms wrapped around her tightly. He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek and then said timidly, “Thanks for today, Auntie Nat. I really needed it.” And then he was gone, like he hadn’t been there in the first place.
Natasha just shook her head, watching the elevator doors close with a tiny little smirk. Steve Rogers. Good God. They were going to have their hands full with that boy.