Chapter 3
Magda
~~
Magda frowned at her reflection in the mirror, rubbing at her crows feet in displeasure, as though she could erase them. Erase the years that caused them and the heartache they brought. The early years of their marriage had been so full of joy, of hope for the future. How had it come to this?
Her smile at the memories faded as she relived their wait, one year, then two, now five, now eight. And suddenly he’d wanted to give up.
She was devastated, she’d never felt as betrayed as when he wouldn’t even consider a sperm donor. They could have chosen one that looked like him! She was willing to get an egg donor, she just wanted to carry and birth her own child, why couldn’t he understand?
She blinked back her tears with a soul weary sigh.
She should have tried harder. She’d been berating herself for weeks to just call Erik, to just go back home and see what they could salvage. But she was just so tired, too tired to go on. She’d felt like she was drowning in the wreckage of their life, like she couldn’t save herself and their marriage so she made a choice.
Right or wrong, it was done. She only hoped this meeting today could clear the air between them, they’d always been good together. Unless he had somehow rushed divorce proceedings and was here for her signature-unlikely to say the least- then his willingness to drive all the way out here to talk had to mean something.
Maybe he’d reconsidered, they’d had a few days to think things over, and maybe they could still make it right.
Her sister Mayra agreed, why he hadn’t even introduced the boy to his parents yet. Yes, he must be having second thoughts. They’d talk, she’d win him over and maybe they could try again.
The thought made her hesitate. She still hadn’t given up on children, but it seemed like Erik was done, what could that mean for their future?
If he didn’t want kids did she want him back? Was Erik enough? He hadn’t been or she wouldn’t have left, she finally admitted to herself.
But did she want to be alone? She’d been fine out here with Mayra and her husband and kids but she’d missed Erik. Just not enough to go back, no matter how much he’d asked in the early days.
This introspection was giving her a headache and she wanted to look fresh faced when Erik arrived, which should be soon, she straightened her hair and took one last look in the mirror before heading downstairs to wait for her husband to arrive.
~~
Erik pulled up outside of the Bed and Breakfast Mayra and her husband ran; it had always been a favorite place for family gatherings so he likely could have found it in his sleep. A good thing considering he’d been haunted by Charles’ pale faced worry that Erik wouldn’t come back to him. He'd wanted nothing more than to stay at Charles' side and reassure him of his devotion until the younger man had no more doubts, but this had to be done.
Magda was waiting on the wrap around porch as he stepped out of the car, looking snug and dressed for autumn in a cute yet colorful outfit. She was lovely. And Erik felt cruel for he’d barely thought of her at all on the drive up.
“Erik!” She gave him a wide smile and they crossed the lawn to meet in the middle, she threw her arms wide and he pulled her into an awkward embrace.
“Hello Magda, you look good,” he said stiffly.
“And you’re your same handsome self,” she pulled back with a light kiss to his cheek. He felt his face flush tellingly, maybe Charles was right about her not having given up.
Bitterness filled his mouth as the thought of the months of silence, she could have fooled him.
She must have noticed the change in his expression because she stepped back cautiously, “What’s wrong love?”
Erik sighed, “We need to talk, I know we already did on the phone but, I wanted to see you, speak to you in person.”
“I’m so glad you did Erik, I wish you’d come sooner, maybe we should have gone away together like you suggested in the first place,” she gave a self deprecating laugh, “then there wouldn’t be all this confusion.”
Erik felt his throat tighten anxiously, “No, no there wouldn’t.”
“Well, you know what they say, hindsight is 20/20,” she chuckled again, “Come inside? It’s chilly out and Mayra promised to keep the den clear.”
“Yes, lets. Is she home?”
“Yes but the kids just started school again and Django is out getting supplies for the inn.”
“Alright then, good,” she wouldn't be alone, he thought.
“Yeah, we have some time to ourselves.” She led the way inside and they removed their jackets and sat on the couch. “First things first,” she began as Erik dithered over her unexpected warmth, and wondered how to bring the subject around to Charles and the baby.
“I know you said we’re done, but…we’ve been through so much, Erik. Too much to throw away over some summer fling. I know things weren’t good for a long while, but I think. Maybe counseling? We could try dating again?” she seemed to become agitated by his lack of positive response, by his lack of any response at all. “You know what they say, as soon as you stop trying you get pregn-“
“Charles is pregnant,” he blurted out, the exact opposite of any of the scenarios he’d planned, desperate to make her stop stop.
Her delicate brow wrinkled in confusion, “What? Who is Char-“
He saw the moment the other shoe dropped. The color bled from her complexion and she swayed in her seat before stumbling to her feet.
“You…what? What are you saying?” she whispered, trembling, tears filling her eyes.
Erik cursed himself to hell and back as he stood slowly and reached for her, just to offer balance, she looked ready to pass out, she flinched away from him as if burned.
“Don’t touch me!” she hissed weakly, shaking head to toe, “How could you, how could you do this? How could you tell me this? You came all this way to tell me THIS?” tears began streaming down her face.
“I’m sorry Magda this wasn’t planned, I never meant to hurt you, please, I just wanted you to hear it from me.”
“Hear it from you? What good does that do me?! Some damn kid is having my baby! And you never meant to hurt me?! How does that work Erik, please tell me how that works?!” by this point she was shouting, and shaking, and crying and she still wouldn’t let him near her, “You get away from me!!” she shrieked as Mayra ran into the room.
She looked between the two of them, shocked to see her sister in full blown hysterics why Erik stood by pale and shamed.
“What the hell is going on you two? I thought you were here to work things out!”
Erik looked at her in resignation, “No, I meant what I said over the phone, I just came to give Magda some… personal news.”
Mayra cocked one hip and crossed her arms, “Oh? More personal than her husband leaving her for some sweet young thing?” she goaded, oblivious to the bomb Erik had just dropped.
By this point Magda had calmed down enough to whisper, “he’s pregnant.”
Now it was Mayra’s turn to look confused, "he’s…Erik isn’t a carri-“ she cut herself off mid sentence and turned back to face him, her mouth forming a shocked O. “Is this true? Erik Magnus Lehnsherr is this true?”
He wearily ran his hand over his face and up to tug his short hair, “yes, May, it’s true. I didn’t want her to hear it from your mom or our friends. I was trying to do the right thing,” he justified weakly. Surprised to see a slight look of compassion cross her face, but then she'd always had a soft spot for him.
“I think the best thing now, is for you to leave,” she said softly. They turned as one to look at Magda, collapsed on the couch, huddled in on herself, silent tears streaming down her face, choking back sobs.
“Will she…?”
“I’ll take care of her, don’t worry about that, Erik, you have other things to concern yourself with now,” she ushered him gently towards the door where he collected his coat. Before he left the room he turned back to look at Magda once more but she refused to meet his gaze, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on her white knuckled hands clenched in her lap.
“I truly am sorry Mags,” she gave no response and Mayra tugged him out of the room.
“I’m sure you can find your way out?” she asked tensely.
“Yes, May, thank you for everything; please know I never meant for this to happen,” he said quietly, eyes glimmering in the afternoon light.
She sighed heavily, “I know Erik, but you know what this meant to her, there was no way it wasn’t going to hurt,” as if to punctuate her words a soft wail echoed from the den. Mayra gave a helpless shrug and stepped back inside, closing the door behind her.
There was nothing left to be said.
Erik pulled on his jacket and zombie walked back to the car before climbing in and resting his forehead on the steering wheel before finally let the tears flow down his face.