When You Love Someone But It Goes To Waste
''I'm sorry we fell in love''.
The words feel like ice in her veins. Like Grant has just taken something sharp and sunk it deep in her chest and is watching her bleed before him. She freezes on the steps, gasping for breath because how could he say that? How could he apologize for loving her? He's sorry for everything between them, the good the bad the ugly all of it and nothing makes sense because she loves him so much and how can he tell her he's sorry for that? The room in front of her fades until she's standing in front of the man responsible for all of her and Ward's pain.
''This is your fault''. Coulson is looking at her with sad eyes and she doesn't even fight to hold back her emotions. ''Daisy''- ''You killed him! You're making him feel this way''. She's broken broken bleeding and she can feel Coulson's heart beat in her palm all she has to do is squeeze. So she does. Daisy reaches for her powers, they obey her, wrapping around the Direcctor of Shield until he's on his knees. ''Daisy''. ''Tremors''. She feels hands on her, instincts kick in, Mack is thrown across the room.
''Daisy''- She can feel Coulson's pain, his anguish as his lungs burn and his heart slows. ''Grant didn't deserve any of this, and if he doesn't want revenge I will take it for myself. All of his guilt, all the people that creature killed while using his body is your fault''. Coulson tries to gasp her name but his throat is closing up and she could grin. Without warning hands are grabbing her arms and she throws her elbow back. Daisy turns to find Lincoln looking up at her, his nose a bloody mess.
''Lincoln''- ''Daisy please, please stop. Okay? Just calm down''. He caresses her jaw line like that is supposed to make all of her rage boil down. It doesn't. ''You don't want to hurt Coulson, come on we can take a walk, you can cool off'. He gently tugs at her elbow, she jerks back. ''Oh I definitely want to hurt him''. She shifts her focus back on the man who's caused so much pain, glares at him, so full of hate and anger. ''You deserve to die for what you've done''. Satisfaction flows into her when she sees fear swim into his eyes. ''Skye!'' Her powers come to a halt, the sound of his voice almost a balm to her anger.
She turns to find Ward pressed against the barrier holding him, hands spread out like he's trying to reach for her. ''Let him go''. She hesitates. ''Skye this isn't you. You don't need to hurt him because of me''. Her eyes are hot and burning, the tears scorching her skin as they drip onto her cheeks. Because she can and she's so angry she could tear this place apart brick by brick, she draws her fist back and watches with appreciation as Coulson hits the ground, blood flowing out of his mouth.
''Grant didn't deserve any of this, you just killed him because you couldn't let go of the person he was''. Coulson gets off the floor, wipes his hand across his lips. ''Didn't deseve it? Are you forgetting what he did to Shield? What he did to Fitz and Simmons? He let you get shot!'' ''Ward had nothing to do with Ian Quinn''. ''He killed Rosalind''. Daisy laughs, no humor or pleasure anywhere in it. ''Grant didn't kill Rosalind! I did''. They've never discussed this before. She always assumed he knew and didn't say a word. But the way he's looking at her now proves her wrong. He thought it was Grant as soon as he learned he wasn't killed, that Ward took revenge for what happened to him.
''What?'' ''I killed her. She took Ward from me and she paid the price. So if you're looking for revenge on the woman you were with for two weeks, if you wanted to hurt someone to kill someone for her, it should of been me. Not Grant. He had nothing to do with this. So you can call him a murderer and a traitor but you are no better. You don't deserve to be Director of Shield, because a Director does not put his own selfish need for revenge before a human life. He doesn't let his hate and anger get the best of him, Grant has done horrible things but so have you. I've never been more ashamed to be part of this organization than I am right now''.
Coulson tries to speak but she isn't done. ''You took him from me. Without even thinking about how it would effect me, what it would do to me. I lost him once and it nearly killed me, but you didn't even think about that did you? You crushed his chest because you thought you were being a hero. You're not. Heroes don't work like that''. May is in front of her, blocking her way to Coulson. ''Stand down Daisy, now. Go back to your bunk and cool off''. ''Get out of my way''. May raises her eyebrow, ''You're injured, I don't want to hurt you''. ''You won't''. Shield agents should really know by now what she's capable of.
''Skye, enough''. Hands warm and familiar are on her skin and everything stops. Hangs in the air, suspended for a moment in time because someone was smart enough to let him out of his cell to calm her. ''I'm not worth it''. If she could hit him, she would. Grant needs it. But it would only remind them of the bruises they put on each other and they've both suffered enough. ''There's nobody to blame but myself''. She realizes it then that she can repeat over and over that none of this was his fault, but they would be just empty words if he doesn't believe them.
The only way he's going to work through these new demons is if he does it by himself. And he's telling her she can't help him, he's right. ''Go back to your bunk, we both know where revenge will get you, please don't start a war over me''. Ward's hands are off of her and she feels the loss like a kick to the ribs. He's staring at her with pity in his eyes, an apology lingering on his lips. If he says he's sorry again she's going to lose it. Daisy can't take much more. ''Don't you ever say you're sorry for what happened between us. Ever''. ''Promise me you won't hurt Shield or Coulson when I get back in that cell''.
She can't. She can't and she won't because they are the reason Ward does not feel worthy of love anymore. ''Why? You should hate the man who killed you without remorse''. ''You're not a killer, you won't become like me''. ''I promise''. She'll promise him anything, even if she intends to break it one day. He walks back into his cell, watches as she vanishes from his sight. Daisy doesn't look back as she slowly treads back to her bunk. Her heart feels as if it's breaking all over again one beat at a time.
Under her bed is alcohol ripe for the taking and she drinks like she's just turned twenty one again. It sooths her soul, makes her forget about Ward, his cruel words and warm hands. For a while anyway. Daisy cracks an eye open, squints against the bright light in her face. The first thing she's aware of is her head, pounding like an army of horses is inside and won't stop running. The second thing she registers is she's in Lincoln's bed, he's next to her snoring softly in her ear. She has a vague memory of knocking on his door and shredding her clothes, but the rest is fuzzy.
It takes time, but she manges to get to her room, throw up twice, and get in the shower without falling once. She'd be proud if she didn't feel like a complete wreck. Her mind is somewhere very far away when she lays down in the small tub, lets the hot water gather and spill over her skin. Ward said he was sorry for loving her. He doesn't want her to become a killer like him, too late for that. She's killed Hydra and Shield agents alike to get what she wants. They're two sides of the same coin.
She loves him. Daisy thought he was dead for half a year, and then they get a second chance to be together and he's going to waste it? She hates him. She hates him so much and wishes she never met him never became a Shield agent, wishes she never left her van or that back alley in LA. None of that is true though. She's just upset and she hurts hurts hurts so much it feels like her body is going to explode. ''You look horrible''. Daisy jumps, thinking for just half a second Ward changed his mind. She's met with disappointment. Sort of.
Ward is in front of her, brown leather jacket, stubble, strong and true less broken and less sad. It's another hallucination. She hasn't seen mirage Ward since that horrible day on Coulson's plane when she promised him, well herself, that she'd save him. ''This is the second time you've shown up when I'm naked. Pervert''. He grins at her. ''Not my fault you think about me in the shower Skye''. She rolls her eyes, flicks water at him, not even caring that he's not really there. ''What are you doing here? Ward is alive, I mean you're alive. Aren't you supposed to go away now?''
Phantom Ward smirks at her, ''he's an ass''. And the situation is so ridiculous and she must be crazy, she bursts into laughter. ''He, I mean you told me you were sorry we fell in love''. ''See? Ass''. The smile fades from his handsome face, he sits on the edge of the tub. ''Skye you can't imagine what he's going through right now. He doesn't think he's worthy of anything, he closes his eyes and sees himself murdering innocent people and he's powerless to stop it. Give him time''. ''I like you better this way''. He laughs, brushes his hand through her hair.
No trace of his hands on her scalp and the act makes her start to cry. ''Skye''. ''I just want you back. I want my Ward back. And if that's selfish I don't care''. ''It's not selfish Skye, you know how much I love you''. ''But you're not real''. She for once gives him a sad smile. ''Fine. Ward loves you, he, I, always has and always will. We're just being stubborn right now and need your patience, if you can do that''. Daisy nods, playing along with this charade because she'd rather have this version of him her mind has created, than the one in the basement who can barely look at her.
''You're so strong Skye, stronger than anyone I've ever known''. ''I don't feel it. I've got a killer hangover''. Ward shrugs, stands up. ''I love you''. And the words feel like home, like a warm cup of coffee on a cold winter day and she has a hard time believing this is all in her head. ''You know that I love you too''. ''You did it, you saved me''. The bathroom door opens, shattering the illusion of Ward and putting her back in the real world. ''Quake?'' ''Popeye what the hell? Get out!'' ''I just wanted to see if you needed any help, Simmons is outside''. ''I'm fine. Get out!''
The door shuts, Daisy lets her head fall against the shower tiles. Her life is a complete mess. She gets out of the bathroom on her own, Kebo helps her onto the bed. Simmons doesn't say a word as she checks her wounds, she leaves the same way. ''Wonder what crawled up her ass this morning?'' Kebo looks around the room for spare alcohol, sighs when he can't find any. ''So you talked to our favorite Hydra Director? How'd that go?'' Daisy's face says it all and he pulls her in his arms. She tells him Ward's harsh words and he grimaces.
''I know he feels terrible, guilty and angry. I get that. But to say he's sorry for loving me? What the hell is his problem?'' She also tells him about her attack on Coulson, and how Ward told her to stop, Kebo raises his eyebrow at this. ''Isn't revenge his thing? Why doesn't he want that?'' ''He said it's because he doesn't want me to become a killer like him''. ''I think you should leave Shield''. Daisy rubs her eyes, fighting a yawn. ''Thought about it, I won't leave Ward here''. She glances up at her friend to find a grin that she knows all too well.
''We'll break him out''. ''He won't want to come with me''. ''Then you ICE him and I'll drag his body with us''. ''You've thought about this a lot haven't you?'' ''At length. Come on Dasiy, you hate it here and so does Ward. A prison break is the only logical solution''. Before she can consider every single angle of this stupid plan, how many different ways it can go wrong, she nods, a smile on her face. Kebo high fives her, gets off the bed. ''Let's go right now''. ''Slow your roll Popeye, I'm so hungover I can't even see straight''. ''This is the one and only time your drinking has become an inconvenience''.
As it turns out Kebo's stupid plan isn't as stupid as Daisy thought. He's got it all mapped out, even has a get away car waiting. Her job? Distraction, whatever she needs to do to get Shield into an uproar and not focus on Vault D. She hasn't felt excitement in months, but it's coming over her now so strong. Shield deserves what's coming to them. Coulson deserves what's about to happen to his precious Playground. Distraction? Destruction. The Director and all of his agents will soon find themselves buried like she thought Grant was all this time.