Tony was exhausted. He was tired,drunk, uncomfortable and cold. Really, really cold. This was ridiculous. Here he was a world class engineer and he couldn't fix the fucking heater in his hotel room. It was 3:00 am and he was just done.
The reason he was in a hotel was complex. It started with a mission which went well but it was in the middle of absolutely nowhere, Canada, to be exact. Tony had damaged his suit and too late they had realized they had no way to contact anyone and that was how the Avengers, Earths mightiest heroes, ended up hitchhiking. They had no money and probably looked like death, even so it didn't take too long to find a fan. And this fan just happened to own a hotel. Granted a small,dirty cold hotel but it was better than nothing. All it took was many tears and an annoying amount of pictures to get 5 separate hotel
rooms (Thor was away) on the same floor and the guarantee that everything was on the house. Tony being Tony took full advantage of the bar.
Three hours and far too much alcohol later Tony just barely managed to walk upright to his room. He passed out on his bed but awoke a half hour later actually shivering. He went under the covers which did not help at all, he looked for extra blankets there were none. He called the front desk, no answer. He attempted to fix the heater but to no avail. Four smashed fingers and many swear words later Tony resigned himself to the fact that he would have to leave his hotel room. He mentally ran through the list of people he could wake up: Natasha? Hell no. Clint? Equally no. Bruce? Maybe but the poor guy was more tired than Tony was. That left Steve. Tony knew he only slept four hours out of twenty four on average and maybe he didn't get cold like normal humans reasoned highly intelligent drunk Tony. That settled it, Cap it was.
Tony stepped into the hallway, sighing at the blast of warm air, maybe he could sleep out here he thought groggily as made his way to what he was 70% sure was Steve's room. It was, thank goodness and Tony smiled a little when Steve came to door in boxers and a dirty t-shirt, looking decidedly un-Captain America. "Didn't your mother warn you about opening the door for strangers?" Slurred Tony. "Stark" said Steve sighing and looking faintly scandalized, "why are you visiting my hotel room at", Steve looked at his watch, "3:20 am?!" Tony chuckled "Don't have such a dirty mind Cap, I just need you to switch rooms with me." "Why?" Asked Steve suspiciously. "Heaters broken." Murmured Tony drunkenly. Sensing that he probably wouldn't get anymore information out of the man who now looked as though go he was attempting to sleep standing up, Steve simply said "Alright, Tony." He briefly considered giving Tony his room key directly but then thought better of it and set it on the bedside table. He didn't need the one for Tony's room because he had left the door wide open and Steve didn't think he would need go in and out of his room again. Tony stumbled to the bed crashed onto it before Steve had even left the room. He sighed in utter relief at the mere thought of sleep and was snoring almost immediately.
It didn't last long. Around six am still slightly drunk Tony awoke mortified to a wet bed. Cursing at his body's betrayal and hating himself for letting this happen again he set some towels down, lay down on the other side and other than fuming at the fact that he couldn't control his bladder and denying that maybe there was a cause other than alcohol he really was far too tired to think anymore about it.
It was an early start in the morning. By 7:30 they were being picked up in one of Tony's private jets and upon arrival were whisked away for a debriefing meeting. Tony had basically forgotten about earlier that morning and regardless he refused to let himself acknowledge it. They described everything that had happened in detail, right down to their hotel room numbers, there was some discussion that Tony didn't listen to.
When it was over and everyone got up to leave Fury said "Captain Rogers?" Steve turned and stood in a soldierly way "Yes Sir?" Fury's gaze softened just slightly and he looked half pitying and half sympathetic. "Report to medical, we have someone there to talk to you." Steve looked thoroughly confused as did the rest of the team. "Um, yes Sir." He said, the confusion apparent in his voice. As he left the room Steve wondered what the hell he needed to go to medical for. He had already established that no one on the team was injured badly, but Fury's tone worried him, if he of all people felt sorry for you it had to be bad. The trip to medical gave Steve plenty of time to overthink it and by the time he got there he was full on panicking.
He entered and a pretty young woman stood there with a a pleasant smile on her face. "Captain Rogers," she said, "please follow me. I'd like to speak in private" Steve felt like a fist was gripping his insides. What had happened? What was going on?!? His legs felt like lead as he followed her into a small white office. "Please sit" she said, gesturing to a sofa that looked out of place in the room. Steve did so as the woman took a seat behind a small plain desk. "Can I call you Steve?" She asked. He cleared his throat, his mouth felt like sand, "of course." He said, polite as ever. She smiled graciously. "My name is Dr. Kallen but please call me Cheryl." She said "Now on to the hard part, I am here to speak to you about last night". Steve racked his brains, last night? What happened last night? "Please don't be embarrassed" she continued," it happens to many agents and even a few of your fellow avengers." She took the blank look on her clients face as permission to continue,"I am here to make this whole thing as quick and painless as possible, I am a psychologist and a urologist and I am here to help you, if you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to ask me." Stevens mind was absolutely blank. A urologist? Why? Don't be embarrassed? What did he have to be embarrassed about? So many questions were running through his head so quickly he didn't know what to ask. She once again took his silence as her cue "Alright then. I'm going to tell you about our plan here. We will start you off with a regiment of Kegel exercises and carefully measure your fluid intake and output, we don't know at this point wether this is a physical or psychological problem." Steve had finally had enough "I'm sorry but what problem?"
She smiled again "I was avoiding saying it outright, that tends to have a negative effect among my patients." "Please just tell me what you're talking about" said Steve. "Alright then" she replied, "The nocturnal enuresis, also known as bed wetting, Captain,pardon me, Steve." Instantly Stevens mind shot back to the first night after waking up from the ice, alone terrified, and wet. That had been one of the worst nights of his life, but he really didn't think she was talking about that, as far as he knew nobody else knew of that particular incident (although in hindsight he realized someone must have cleaned the bed but it was easier to pretend it never happened) and his cheeks coloured just thinking about. "Bed wetting?" Steve asked, "in the the hotel, last night?" "Yes Steve." She said smiling sympathetically. "As I was saying if that doesn't work we'll try things like therapy sessions and emotional support, I find that sleeping with someone you trust seems to help". Steve had really stopped listening, what bed wetting? What was going on? Then the realization hit him like a ton of bricks, Tony. Tony switched rooms with him, Tony slept in Steves room and Tony had. . . wet the bed? That didn't sound right. But he had to have. There was no other explanation. Wow. Tony wet the bed. He must have felt awful, thought Steve. Tony who was so snarky and confident and prideful. It occurred to Steve that Tony should probably be the one taking these classes, he was going to tell Cheryl but stopped himself. He couldn't do that to the poor guy. Tony would probably stay down in his shop for months. The appointment finished, Cheryl said goodbye and left. Steve, as he had not been listening really had no idea what to do now. He cautiously got up and left the office. Unsure of where to go, he made his way back home, Stark Tower that is.
At breakfast the following morning the whole thing was replaying in Steves mind. Clint was crouched on the counter eating cinnamon toast crunch, Bruce had a bagel and was reading a newspaper and Natasha was drinking a cup of black coffee. Tony as far as everyone knew, was still sleeping. It was was quiet meal and Jarvis's voice made Steve jump a little. "Sir" said Jarvis in his trademark British accent,"Dr. Kallen requests that you report to the gymnasium for your scheduled Kegel exercises." To Steves utter surprise Clint bolted from the kitchen and Natasha's eyes widened slightly before her cheeks took on a pinkish tinge, she however did not leave the table, possibly to avoid suspicion. Clint was far less subtle. Bruce heard and fully understood Jarvis's words but to his credit did not react.
Steve did all he could not to flee the room in embarrassment. His cheeks were burning scarlet, even though it had been Tony who'd done anything shameful. He would have to talk to him, Steve decided.
The class was uncomfortable to say the least, and he left the gym feeling violated.He took deep calming breaths as he walked to Tony's room. He knocked on the door twice before Jarvis volunteered the information that Tony was in fact in his shop. Steve made his way down there wondering what the hell he was going to say.
Steve knocked on the door before Jarvis let him, this being one of the few times Tony had allowed him to grant access to visitors. Steve entered and immediately his eardrums were assaulted by what people in this century considered music. "Um Jarvis?" said Steve, feeling slightly foolish for speaking to a machine, "Can you maybe turn down Tony's music? I need to talk to him." Jarvis did so and Tony yelled hey in protest. "Tony I really need to talk to you." Said Steve, already feeling horribly awkward. "What is it, Capsicle? Did you break the toaster again?" Steve frowned, "I never, that was Thor, Tony." "Oh ya right," said Tony, chuckling at the fond memory, "so what's up, girl trouble?" Said Tony, finally taking note of of how uncomfortable Steve looked. "Tony please be serious we really need to talk."
"Alright fine, grandpa, what is it?" Said Tony turning back to his work. "Uhh" said Steve not sure where to start.
"So you know how after the mission, Fury sent me medical?"
"Yup, what was all that about?"
"I'm getting to that."
"Well spit it out!"
"I'm trying, Tony, it's kind of awkward.Well
I talked to this girl,"
"Oohh"
"A doctor, Tony."
Steve rolled his eyes
"And um she, well she. . . "
Steve shut his eyes, grit his teeth and clenched his fists, just do it fast, get it over with.
"She talked to me about wetting the bed in the hotel."
Steve wanted to stop, no he couldn't stop, that would leave room for Tony to talk.
"I was confused, then I remembered I didn't sleep in my bed."
Steve opened his eyes a little, that was a mistake. Tony's face was pale, he looked rather sick. Steve was sure he was either gonna throw up or cry. He hoped he threw up.
"You did." He finished lamely.
"Well shit." Said Tony shakily and actually managing a small smile. "I guess I'm screwed then." What'd you tell them?"
"I didn't tell them anything."
"What?"
"I mean I didn't tell them it was you"
"Why the hell not, Rogers?"
"I, I um, I didn't want you to be embarrassed, I guess"
"But why wou-"
"It's not a big deal, Tony, okay."
"It's not a big deal? People think you, captain fucking America, pissed the bed!"
"So?"
"So??!!" Spluttered Tony
"Look", said Steve, "I think you're just getting worked up, it's not a big deal, honestly, Tony. I just didn't want to rat you out, ok?"
" "
"Really, Tony, it's fine"
" "
"Please say something"
"Thanks"
Steve looked at Tony and saw nothing in his face but embarrassment and absolute sincerity.
"Anytime, Stark."