Chapter 19
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In the morning, you woke up to a lack of warmth beside you, but you felt hot and thoroughly turned on. You looked around for your boyfriend and found your bathroom door closed. You frowned and rubbed your eyes, after the events of last night, that was worrisome. You went up to the door and put a ear up to it.
“(Y/N)...fuck, you're so beautiful, printessa..." he groaned.
Your cheeks burned hotter than a million suns. It was nice hearing him, but you felt like you intruded on his privacy.
“You ain't interruptin' me, baby doll...I actually have an idea to get around my...performance issues."
“What is it?"
“Gimme a minute and close your eyes, doll. It's harder when you're awake."
You did as you were told and for a minute, nothing happened and then-
“Oh, James..."
The world he created in your minds was heartburn inducing romantic sap. A canopy bed, rose petals everywhere, and slow music. Bucky lay nude next to your equally bare body, trailing a hand up and down your arm and kissing your shoulder. He gave you his signature smirk and stroked your cheek.
“Do you like it?"
“It's lovely, Buck, but how?"
“Well, I got to thinkin', we can share thoughts and images, why not fully move in with each other?
It took me most of the night, but I finally got it...I know it's not ideal, I'm locked in the bathroom for god's sake, but at least this way I can't hurt you if I..."
He shook his head and cleared the thought. Then he smiled and sat his forehead on yours.
“I can be with you now, (Y/N)."
His hand travelled down to your leg, causing you to shiver. He stayed up all night to figure this out for your sake? This man was gonna be the death of you. Bucky started nibbling on the spot that drives you crazy and it felt nice, really nice, but it just felt off. Not “he's not really there" off, but “he's hiding something" off.
“Um...Bucky..."
“What's wrong, doll?"
Your cheeks heated up as you you put a hand through his hair. His short, well groomed hair, then you put a hand on his baby smooth cheek, then you rested on his arms, his two flesh arms. Bucky looked worried until he put two and two together and blushed.
“I-I thought it would be better if I..."
“What is it, Bucky? I promise it's not stupid."
“If I looked normal...All scruffy and artificial? A beautiful woman like you deserves better."
You smiled sympathetically as he looked away and put a hand on his cheek. You showed him all your favorite times together. They mostly consisting of him just sitting around barefoot in sweatpants with his hair in a messy bun, week old stubble littering his face, and tight tank tops that bared his metal arm to the world. Bucky looked back up at you with disbelief in his eyes. You shook your head with a fond smile. After all this time, he still doesn't understand how you feel about him?
“I love the man you were before you fell, Bucky bear, and you are still him in so many ways, but I fell in love with my scruffy, puppy faced bastard. Please don't hide from me,James. We're long past that aren't we?"
Bucky stared at you for a full minute before putting a hand on the back of your head and pushing you in for a kiss. A passionate one filled with every emotion words can't describe. You moaned softly into it and rolled over so you were on top of him, running your hand through his shoulder length (in desperate need of a trim but you haven't gotten around to doing it and he doesn't trust anyone else but you and Steve with scissors around him) chestnut hair. Bucky pulled back and his blue eyes were filled with awe, like still couldn't believe you were real.
“I love you, Bucky bear."
“I love you too, baby doll."
“Then what you waiting for, Sarge?"
He blushed and looked down in embarrassment. Not “he was locked up for nearly eight decades so he's a bit rusty" embarrassment but...
“Bucky, have you ever been with someone before?"
“No...I've fooled around, sure, but I was still waiting on the right girl when I was drafted."
“What about all that stuff Steve's said about you being a playboy back in the day?"
“I may have...exaggerated in front of the guys...a lot..."
He shook his head and put his attention back on you, grabbing your hip with one metal hand and your left hand with his natural one.
“I want to do this with you, (Y/N), if you'll have me."
Bucky's guard went up in preparation for your rejection. You couldn't quite believe it. Sure, you didn't lose yours until the year before you started training to be an Avenger and you haven't wanted anyone besides, Bucky, since moving in, but you didn't expect him to be the inexperienced one. But that just means you'd be the only one in the world who knows what he sounds like. You smiled and started slowly kissing every inch of skin on him you could reach.
“(Y/N)...baby doll...please, please touch me?"
“Just relax, Buck. I'll take care of you."