„Don’t worry, it will be fine.“ Steve said for the hundredth time today as they emerged the elevator and approached the communal area of the Stark tower.
“I already told you, I’m chilling like a villain.” Bucky replied a bit exasperated and Steve wanted to reply ‘I wasn’t talking to you’ but didn’t say a word.
“Oh look, a fledgling.” Natasha announced coolly without so much of looking up from her book, sitting on the couch, head in Clint’s lap.
“Guys, this is – “ Steve started nervously because he was perfectly aware of the fact that the last time these guys met each other Bucky tried to beat the living crap out of them.
“Welcome home, mate. Finally, ‘Keeping up with the Avengers is complete.’” Clint interrupted him, nodding towards Bucky and changing the channel.
“I was watching that.” Natasha hissed.
“You’re reading.”
“You better switch back or I’ll rip your thumbs up.”
“Whatever, sunshine.”
Bucky blinked confused, opening his mouth, wrinkling his forehead and closing it again, making a rather lost appearance.
“Better behave, Barnes, and we’ll all get along.”
Steve flinched, clinched his jaw and took a deep breath. He knew that this wouldn’t be easy. Still…
“What’s going on here?” a new voice suddenly appeared and they both jumped a bit as Tony emerged from his workshop, wearing sweatpants and a wife beater, hair ruffled and a pair of goggles dangling from his neck. Steve’s heart skipped a beat both because he knew that Tony was a sarcastic idiot most of the time and because he found himself riveted by his stunning appearance.
“Oh, look at that, the one armed bandit is finally joining the freak show.” And he approached them, patting Bucky’s arm and pointing towards his own arc reactor. “Time for the humanoids to plan world domination.”
Steve’s breath faltered and he felt his shoulders tensing but suddenly he heard Bucky snorting and looked at him in surprise because it looked genuine and careless.
“Come on, I’ll show you your room, you’re gonna love it. Hey, do you mind if I –“
The voices disappeared as Tony had just grabbed his best friend’s arm and had dragged him towards their personal areas, leaving a confused Steve.
“Natasha, there’s no way we’re watching ’28 weeks later’ again. That Renner guy doesn’t look anything like me, please stop pretending. Steve, help me.”
But Steve’s glance was still focused on the door where the two just had disappeared through, shrugging it off and making a really weird and concerning sound.
The next morning he headed to SHIELD after his morning run, this time accompanied by Bucky who had vanished the whole last evening.
When he asked him where he was, he had just shrugged and muttered something like “Tony showed me around and we somehow landed in his workshop. It’s pretty dandy.”
Steve said nothing because he felt the hot and ugly sensation of jealousy creeping up in his chest because as far as he could remember Tony never willingly let him enter his workshop and it actually never really bothered him until now.
“What’s wrong, Stevie, did we have plans?”
“No, I’m all right.” He had replied, picking up speed.
So he wasn’t exactly surprised to see Bucky and Tony on the living room couch, obviously in the middle of a heated round of Mario Kart and he couldn’t help but smile a bit about that because his favourite persons seemed to get along quite well and that didn’t bother him in the slightest, right?
“That’s not fair, metal arm. I’m going to have to install a virus and block your motion regulation or something.”
“Oh babe, you’re such a sore loser – did you just fucking blue shell me?”
“Suck it, bitch.”
“Oh, hey Steve!” Bucky gave him a quick smile before his attention returned back to the screen.
“Hey there yourself. What are you –“
“BOW TO YOUR KING!” Tony suddenly shouted as he managed to pass Bucky last second and reached the finish line first, jumped to his feet, arms raised into a winning pose and Steve couldn’t help but giggle because this man was ridiculous and he was ridiculously head over heels for him.
“Loser’s paying the Pizza tonight.”
“Yeah, good thing you don’t have a ten digit bank account to do it yourself, that would be ridiculous, right?”
“Actually, it’s twelve digits. But if you can’t pay up, we’ll find another way to square your debts.” Tony replied and winked almost obscene, making Steve choke on the sip of water he just had taken.
“Oh, shut your mouth.”
“I start to want you to make me.”
Steve tried his best to ignore the sudden heat and the ringing in his ears as he sat down on the couch between them. Just in that second, Tony got up abruptly, avoiding his glance and muttering: “Anyway, need to fix some stuff. Call me when the pizza is there.”
“Sure. Mind if I join you later?”
“Not at all.” And he disappeared and Steve couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt because was his company really such a horror for Tony that he couldn’t stand being in a room with him? Sure, they started on the wrong foot but something between them had developed and he always longed for more and usually they got along very well, spent time together, just the two of them, there were “is that a date”-moments and aggressive occupation of personal space in unnecessary situations but what if Tony had realized, what if he figured out what was happening in Steve’s mind, what if this was the reason?
He felt Bucky’s glance on him, intense and questioning and probably a bit amused and he chocked: “What?”
“Nothing, Rogers. Nothing at all.” And that smile on his best friend’s face never had meant something good.
It was movie night and they all gathered in the communal area on the much too small couch and floor and Clint put the DVD into the player.
“Where’s Stark?” Steve tried to ask casually but he had the feeling that everyone was staring at him a bit too complacently.
“He’ll be joining us in a minute, he still wants to finish something downstairs.” Bruce said easily and helped himself with a handful of popcorn.
“What are we watching?” Bucky next to him asked.
“Inglourious Basterds.”
“Oh no, not again.” Steve mourned, letting his head fall into his neck.
“Hey Buck, don’t let these morons try to convince you that this is how the war had ended.”
“You’re such a buzzkill.”
“I think” – Tony entered the room with a bright smile on his face – “it was fucking funny. It was definitely worth the detention we got from Fury. You should have seen your face after the ending, Capsicle.”
It was indeed rather disturbing for him to live with the knowledge that the war had ended with a burning Hitler and an exploding cinema and he was quite traumatized from the one time he brought it up in a conversation and the crowd was staring awkwardly and stunned at him while Tony and Clint were in the corner, laughing like they just witnessed the best joke ever.
“Hey, Terminator, move.” Tony demanded and waited next to the couch for Bucky to grant him some space but he didn’t seem to plan to move for just an inch.
“Go away and sit down on the floor, you bourgeoisie scum, this is for the working class.”
“You’ve been warned.” And he just let himself fall on the other man’s lap.
“My hip! Bloody youngster, take care of the elder people.”
But Tony didn’t answer, just spread out comfortably, rearranging his seating and wiggling his hip during this process.
“If you wanted to ride me, you could have just asked.” Bucky simply said, reaching around Tony to grab some crisps and Steve felt his face blush once again and he clenched his fists, his finger nails digging into his palm almost hurtful.
“Is that an offer?”
“Shush now, lovebirds, the film is about to start.” Natasha shushed them.
“Avenge my eyes.” Clint muttered.
Finally Tony managed to squeeze between them, making it almost uncomfortable tight, feet placed on Bucky’s lap and leaning into Steve who really didn’t mind that minor detail, although it made it very hard to focus on the movie.
Steve couldn’t sleep. The nightmares had stopped most of the time so it was rather unusual for him to lay awake at this time of the night but his mind just wouldn’t shut the heck up.
It was utterly confusing for him to deal with all these mixed up feelings inside him.
After movie night, Tony and Bucky disappeared into Tony’s workshop, giggling about something no one else understood and that made him feel – what?
Of course he was happy that Bucky adapted, that he was as happy as he hasn’t seen him for a while now and that he found a friend. And Tony himself looked so easy and relaxed around him that it was almost painful. And that was the problem.
It was selfish and he despised himself for thinking that, but he was the one that wanted to make Tony feel this way, he wanted to sneak into his workshop and spend a ridiculous amount of time with him, making the others uncomfortable with their mutual affection.
He almost felt offended.
He always just assumed that Tony was straight before Bucky moved in and made his excuses that this was the reason he would never land on him.
Now he was sure that it was him who was the problem. And that hurt like hell.
No one knew about his stupid crush, not even Bucky, so he couldn’t blame him, couldn’t blame him to fall for Tony and he knew how charming Bucky could be, so he couldn’t blame Tony either.
But it would have been so much easier if he could.
Sighing he got up because if he couldn’t sleep he might as well could grab a cup of tea in the kitchen.
Except the kitchen was already occupied.
“Tony!” he exhaled as he entered and the other man jumped, looking around alarmed, relaxed for a second, before he saw panic flickering in his eyes.
“Oh, Cap, hey, I’ll leave, didn’t meant to interfere into your nighty plans.”
“It’s your kitchen. You can… stay.” Steve said and flinched as he realized the slight pain in his voice.
Tony seemed to notice too, because he remained in his seat, obviously a bit uncomfortable.
“Bad dreams?” he asked.
“No, just couldn’t sleep.” Steve replied casually, mouth dry and keeping his hands occupied.
“Huh. So how will you look like our American poster boy tomorrow without your beauty sleep?”
The taller one smirked and it almost felt like a few weeks ago, before Bucky moved in and they spent almost every night like this, talking or in utter silence, comforted by each other’s company. That was before something had changed, before Steve had realized he was falling for this man, before he made his affection too obvious and destroyed whatever that was between them.
“How comes that you’re not in your workshop?”
“Buck’s asleep on my fucking couch and I don’t want him to wake up.”
“Huh” was Steve’s only comment, feeling bitter again.
“What’s the matter, Steve? Sorry I’m claiming your BFF so often. He’s just… helping with something.”
He didn’t say anything, just nodded half-heartedly and sipped on his tea.
“Seriously, are you all right? You seem a bit upset lately.” Tony tried again, more honest this time and it was the first time in weeks their eyes meet again and Steve felt the sudden fire rushing through him that caught him completely off guard and made him breathless for a small moment.
“Yeah just… good luck. Don’t screw it, ok?” he managed after a while before he suddenly got up and physically fled from the very confused looking Tony into the safety of his room.
His heart raced like he just ran a marathon and slowly he slid down the wall as his knees gave in. That was harder than expected.
The next day Bucky joined him again for his morning run, something he hadn't done for almost a week.
Immediately he realized his tensed face and the burning fire behind his eyes, an expression he knew too well. The biggest advantage of their friendship was that they could read each other with an almost intimidating ease.
“What’s wrong?” he asked after the first mile in silence.
“Nothing.”
“I know that face, James.”
“Don’t ‘James’ me. No one called me that since the fucking thirties.”
“Then tell me what’s the matter.”
“Nothing. It’s just… Tony and I had a fight. He’s such a dork.”
“Most of the people realize that the first few minutes talking to him.” Steve joked but couldn’t help but feeling a little concerned. Bucky replied with an angry snort.
“It’s not like that… Also, you’re not fucking better. Seriously, get your shit together.” And he picked up speed, leaving him behind and he felt like someone had just punched him in the face.
He didn’t see a trace of Tony or Bucky the whole day, which wasn’t that unusual anymore, but given the circumstances, it was somehow concerning.
That was until he decided to visit Tony in his workshop because darn it, if he couldn’t have him, there was no necessity for everyone to be unhappy.
He asked JARVIS for permission to enter and the AI hesitated before it gave in: “Very well, Sir.” And he could swear the machine sounded a bit resigned.
“Security breach.” Tony huffed as he entered, in the midst of manhandling one of his machines.
“JARVIS let me in.” he replied and tried to sound innocent.
“Fucking traitor. I’m going to upgrade you and you’ll end up as a science project for some deprived children.”
“I just wanted to talk to you.” He couldn’t help but feel nervous.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Well, I talked to Bucky this morning –“
“What did that bastard say?” Tony suddenly snapped, whirling around and raised his screwdriver in a threatening way that made Steve jump a bit.
“I didn’t say anything.” A calm voice behind them appeared that made Steve wince a bit.
“Good, because you still have one arm that I can rip off if you did.”
“You’re being ridiculous, Stark.”
Steve cleared his throat awkwardly, muttering something like: “I better go now…” but Buck grabbed his arm as he tried to pass him and hissed: “Don’t you dare.”
“What – “
“You two make me sick. Just go ahead and jump each other’s bones already.” Bucky announced and left them, slamming the door behind them shut.
“What did he mean by that?” Steve asked calmly, more calm than he felt, but Tony just looked outrageous, again that panic in his eyes.
“He’s…” Tony rambled quietly, gesticulating wildly and marching up and down.
“Is he jealous?”
That made him freeze and he eyed him suspiciously.
“Why would he be jealous?”
“Aren’t you two… you know…”
A few moments Tony remained like this, watching him in disbelief, before he started to laugh a rough laugh that made Steve flinch a bit. What was that supposed to mean for gosh’s sake?
“Are you fucking kidding me? There’s nothing.”
“But I thought… You were so distant lately and I thought it’s because you’re with him and…” Steve felt more and more stupid with every word that left his mouth and Tony seemed to agree.
“I thought he’s with you, all back and alive now. Didn’t want to interrupt.” He said grumpily before picking up his work again, hiding his face like he always did when he didn’t want to show what he felt and oh – OH!
“Are you implying - ”
“I’m not implying shit, Rogers, get out of my workshop.”
But Steve just stared at him, brain working on high speed, but his mouth didn’t seem to want to wait any longer because suddenly he heard himself blurt: “I’m in love with you!” and his heart sank into his pants.
Tony dropped his screwdriver, once again shell shocked and oh no, he had screwed up.
“You are what?” Tony chocked after a while, still not facing him.
“Maybe a tiny bit.” Steve remarked a little too high pitched.
“FUCKING FINALLY. NOW KISS EACH OTHER OR I’LL MAKE YOU!” they heard Bucky shouting from behind the door, obviously listening to their conversation.
“FUCK OFF, YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR WHAT FOLLOWS.” Tony replied, finally turning around and there was it, that big bright honest smile that made Steve forget how to function as a human being.
“SPARE THE DETAILS!” and they heard footsteps departing.
“Tony, I’m sorry, I just – “ the rest of the sentence was swallowed by a surprised gasp as two lips crushed onto his, hands everywhere, the overwhelming scent of Tony all around him, too close, a sudden and torrid heat overwhelming him and he forgot to kiss back until all his emotions suddenly kicked in, dragging Tony closer, as close as possible and it still wasn’t enough and he heard that obscene moan from the other man’s mouth escaping and the feeling that he was the one that caused it made him dizzy and somehow disconnected to reality.
“Maybe I am too.” Tony pants after a few minutes like this.
“A tiny bit in love with you.”
“Good, because otherwise this would be very awkward.” Steve gasps and lifted Tony so he could swung his legs around his waist.
Tony seemed to agree, at least this is how he interpreted the noise coming from him. And that was the last time for a long while he managed a clear thought anyway.