Chapter 5
Logan grunted, slouching in the drivers seat. You hadn't breathed a word since he picked you up from the Tower.
"So frosty and Rogers are.. ?"
You exhaled slumping your shoulders, shaking your head softly.
"Buck is.. And Steves...well. I don't exactly know or care. I can't keep waiting on them. No matter what we do someone is always going to get the short end of the stick. I just felt I should remove myself entirely from the situation." You glanced at Logan, hoping he would provide words of wisdom maybe even comfort. After all, he had lived multiple lives, hadn't he picked up something along the way about relationships?
"And.." Logan eye balled you, thinking if he could keep you engaged in the conversation he would actually focus more on the discussion itself and less on the shape of your mouth.
"And. I feel like utter shit, I love them, hate them and can't live without them. Same problem that I have with you." You have heartedly smiled resting your damp head of hair on the passenger side window, staring at the street lights that blurred past you.
"Kid. It'll be fine." Logan gave you a half hearted smile, grabbing his beer from the cup holder, you turned watching the lip of the bottle disappear into his mouth.
Feeling yourself beginning to drift off, you pushed yourself to speak.
"So. How's it with Jean?"
.
"Ah someone's digging, I'm not in the right mind to talk about that at the moment. " Logan stared on forward toward the black paved road infront of us.
"Fair enough."
Moments past and neither of you filled the silence, rather welcomed it with open arms. You and him never needed to fill that void, being together had always been enough, and there lie the problem.
Looking out your window, you noticed Logans reflection, his eyes peering in your direction from time to time.
"What ya thinkin' about?" He asked, looking at you through his peripheral vision. You turned around to face him, cocking your head to the side.
"Trust me, you don't wanna hear
Me bitch and moan some more about the boys.."
"Yeah that is true but the radio's busted and I gotta stay awake so...shoot. "
"WELP. In more detail, Steve wants Bucky to himself, Bucky wants me and him. And well, I was with Bucky first and I have grown to care about Steve, Yet with the whole Tony thing....It's just gotten so out of hand- ugh. I'm just-"
"You gonna finish that thought or.."
"I'm just done with it all and lonely, Lo. That's, I guess really the problem. That's all of our problem ." Finishing your rant, wrapping your arms around your legs, you pulled them up tightly against you and rested your chin on your arms.
"Come're, " he spoke nodding to you, stretching an large hand in your direction. Scooting over to him, you placed your head onto his lap. Logan sucked a breath in as you curled up contorting your body to wrap around his. Your knees where at his right side, along the expanse of the seat, with one arm curled around his left. He reached toward the backseat, pulling out his worn leather jacket, draping it over you.
"Mm thanks..I'm freezing. Doesn't help that my hair is still drying."
"I can tell, you're shivering. Seriously rethinking about taking that shower before you left the tower huh?" He rested his right arm on your lower hip, while keeping his eyes glued to the road. You swallowed, as your eyelids became heavy.
"I was trying to clear my mind. " you hummed, The sound had his body stiffen. Placing your free arm around his torso, lightly inhaling his cologne.
"Uh, Y/n?" Logan glanced down to you, his voice cracked ever so slightly, he quickly cleared his throat. "Do you want to, stop somewhere?" He tried, really tried to keep his eyes on the road. Though the feeling of you on him, the closeness, the warmth- made his heartbeat quicken. He took little glances down at you, you kept your eyes shut, your body becoming heavier in his own.
You turned your face to look up at him, the corner of your mouth turned up. What had been so wrong between the two of you again? No matter what happened, what either of you would change, both of you would always end up together, leaning on- no, depending on the other to pull through.
" You remind me of when times were simpler, you and me together . " you relaxed feeling a sense of calmness was over taking you, your eyes seemed to glaze over, the feeling of desperation creeping into your mind shadowing any prominent warnings of caution.
Logan took notice of your behavior, licking his lips he carefully placed his cigar into his empty bottle, veering off the road.
Feeling the car sway, stop and shut
off you looked upward to Logan who rested a hand of your cheek, pulling your face up to meet his own.
"Y/n. I can't do this with you, your bearly wearing any clothes." He bought his other hand up cupping your cheek, his eyes burned into yours. "and it's taking everything in me to not push you over the hood of this truck and fuck the ever lovin shit out of you."
"That's oddly specific Lo-"
"Just shut up and listen, It's not about love. Its about what- what you..need. Tell me what you need, Y/n. " He bit his lip while his eyes roamed down slowing at your gaped tee shirt showing the tiniest bit of cleavage, traveling down the exposed skin of your thighs, never letting go of your face in his hands. You slid your hands across his own, rubbing circles on the back of his palms, subtlety moving to straddle his lap.
"Tell me-" he rasped, his mouth becoming dry pulling your face upward once more, till your eyes met. You were pretty sure of what was going to happen if you opened your mouth again, letting your head have a voice-justifying this road you were traveling down, no matter how dangerous-
"You've been the only consistency in my life. I don't believe I should've left the mansion, you. I should have stayed at the school, and I never met Bucky or Steve- then I wouldn't be feeling this gaping hole in my chest." A tear glimmered at the corner of your eye, Logan smoothed his thumb across your cheek, wiping it away before it fell.
"You don't mean that. Eventhough I'm not.. fond... of your choice in men, and it's not easy for me to say this- Barnes has always treated you well. We both know it's true, " He held your hands still, closing his eyes breathing in deeply. "He's...and I can't believe I'm saying this, he's what you..deserve. Someone that will drop everything for you, make your happiness their number one priority, giving themselves to you fully...even though he doesn't say a lot, trust me, his actions... He might actually hold feelings deeper than what he feels for Steve. And well.. You know me, I'm not stable. Don't laugh, it's. It's true, and Extremely Unreliable... Well, You of all people would know-"
"Stark, he said I was acting like an animal. Am I one? "
Logan let out a dry laugh, tilting his head back a bit, "Stark can take a flying leap. Though he's not wrong y/n, the best people are, you're just a.. passionate person. So you have a few anamialistic tendencies, Stark has a few asshole tendencies. Why do you think you were drawn to...Barnes? People such as ourselves..We tend to stick together. It's not necessarily bad just survival. "
"Wow. Ok. I honestly didn't expect this from least of all people you." You sat frozen. His words hit you hard. Maybe you had been wrong, should you continue to the mansion to give yourself time to sort things out or have Logan turn the truck around and face the catastrophe at home?
Logan let out a snort. "Well don't get too use to it baby girl."
Logan swallowed, letting his eyes dance across your features, wetting his lips his voice dropped and octave lower.
"But for right now, none of that concerns me, I'm here for you...what do you need?"
You pushed up against him, feeling around the back seat until you felt the cold thick plastic of the cooler Logan kept in the back seat, pushing the top of it to the side, grabbing a beer. Logan eyed you in confusion as you popped off the cap, bringing the bottle toward your lips rapidly guzzling down the harsh golden liquid. Wiping your mouth on the back of your hand you tossed the empty container out the window, listening to it clank on the rocky gravel.
"I need.. To make some bad choices."
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"So, none of you are going to chase after her?" Nat spoke entering the common room the next morning, "Wow, never thought I'd see this day come, a day where not one but BOTH of you tripped over eachother trying to gain MORE affection from Y/n than you've already had!." her voice traveled through the doorway, bound for the kitchen.
Tony was propped up against a wall, gazing out of one of the large windows facing a field. It had been hours since you had left the tower. This had all originated with his involvement, maybe it had to be him to make it right again.
Tony sucked in a breath through his teeth.
"I'm honestly dissapointed in you
two." Tony turned, fixing his eyes on Bucky. "Not only does well, did Y/n want to deal with one of you crazy old geezers, she wants to deal with both- not a lot of girls would do or put up with what she does. And I am including sexually into that equation also." he cut his eyes to Steve then followed Nat, heading for the coffee pot with Steve hot on his trail.
"Tony is it just me or are you trying to make it seem like it's both our faults?"
Steve nodded toward Bucky, staring off in His own world.
"I'm not saying anything but if your conscious is getting the best of you, by all means Rogers-"
"She doesn't even want me! She- I want to be with-"
Clint rounded Nat, sitting opposite of Bucky, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Ok gentlemen gather 'round! It's harsh truth time!" Clint clapped his hands together gaining everyone's attention. "From what I've observed and gathered Intel from Nat, you Steve, substituted y/n with Tony." Clint turned to stark, with a smirk.
"Sorry Stark, but it is what it is."
Tony, took a sip of his coffee, waving off Clint.
"Agh. No hard feelings, I knew what I was getting into. Can we go back to you saying you 'gathered Intel'?"
Nat took up Clints speech. "Not important. y/n, she cares for you deeply Steve. You just sort of want to do your own thing- not that that's wrong- tad selfish,. But you sound like you're afraid. "
Steve suddenly became defensive,
"Afraid? No you've got it all wrong."
He let out a nervous chuckle, eyeing the people in the room.
Clint, rested his chin on Nats shoulder, slipping some fruit from her plate.
"Who needed to get drunk in order to tell Barnes how they felt?"
Steve scratched the back of his neck,
His cheeked burned with embarrassment. Natasha, lifted an eyebrow, slapping Clints hand, pointing in Steves direction.
"Exactly. So...either you two need to get together- "
" You guys, I know you're all trying to help- just, stay out of this." Bucky grunted. "I'm perfectly fine dealing with this on my own. I'll go retrieve Y/n from the school in a day or two and -"
Nat and Clint exchanged worried glances,
"What's with the looks you guys?" Steve eyed the pair, clearly something had happened and they were trying their best to keep it under wraps.
"She never made it to the school,"Clint huffed, avoiding everyone's gazes. "She left with Logan lastnight and Charles called Fury this morning asking where they were. Do you think she's.. gone. "
What?! Bucky yelled, he grabbed Clint pushing him against a wall. "Why didn't you say something sooner instead of playing this little ' let's solve everyone's problems' game you've got going on?! " Buckys hands were shaking ever so slightly when he felt a firm one grab him and push him off to the side.
Nat gasped, "bottom line- you two get your shit together before you go bringing Y/n home."
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