to say tracy's night had been an eventful one would be...an understatement, at best.
it started off all good. mel had got her and evie all dressed up to go to the movies, brady actually had a personality for a few hours, and tracy actually felt herself getting excited for their night out.
then, it went south.
evie and tracy seperated from mel and brady once they got to the cinema, passing it off as not liking the same movie as them, so they could go meet their friends. and then, she lost evie and her boyfriend javi.
then she got fuckin' catcalled by her own brother, so that was just great.
she ran into this dude conrad who she'd met once or twice at a pick up, and he kinda spiked her. not really, because he told her straight up she was chuggin' lean 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 she drank it, but also really because he hadn't given her a warning beforehand.
once she found evie and javi (whom of which she was 99% sure were fucking in that dressing room), it was way after the ending of the movie.
mel was no genius, but she wasn't dumb either, she knew tracy and evie didn't go to see that movie. partially from the missing backpack, and partially from tracy's blown-out pupils and inability to walk in a straight line or conversate without slurring.
arguments ensued, mason calling tracy a slut and her hitting him with a pole, mel telling tracy "if you dont wanna eat, fine, i just won't cook." and tracy calling brady a fucking cokehead.
yeah, it was a lot.
so when evie and tracy climbed into tracy's bed once everything had settled down and they had some cocaine in their system, she didn't know what came over her.
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tracy layed dead silent beside evie, though her body was buzzing. evie was fiddling with her hair, curling it with her finger and sighing.
then, tracy spoke.
"do you think the reason we're so boy-crazy is because we miss our dads?"
that was a random bombshell, and evie furrowed her eyebrows as tracy turned around to face her. her pupils were blown once more, her face sheet white. tracy was really beautiful when she was high, evie thought.
she giggled at the blonde. "i think you're on drugs."
"no, i'm serious." tracy responded. "like, pent-up daddy issues or something, you know? like, i...i was never really into boys before my dad went MIA so like, maybe the reason i'm so into them now, especially older ones, is because i like, want that loving male figure back."
"you have mason. he's a male figure. don't see how that makes sense."
tracy quirked an eyebrow. "mason catcalled me and called me a slut. can't exactly call that 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨."
"that's true." evie chuckled softly, continuing to twirl her hair.
the two sat in silence once more, and evie sighed through her nose, clearly deep in thought.
"i don't miss my dad." the brunette stated, teeth clenched together. a sign she was talking about a sketchy subject. "fuckin' junkie cunt. only met the guy like twice, i don't even know his name." tracy listened, sure not to say anything. this was the most she'd heard about evie's past in the months they'd been friends. evie turned around to face tracy. "i told mel my mom passed away. that was a lie. she's just a crack whore. left me at brooke's doorstep when i was like 9 to go play house and crackpipe with my dad. heard she's clean now. never came back for me, though."
tracy's heart squeezed on itself. she knew evie had absent parents, why else would she live with her aunt, but she didn't expect it to be that bad. she assumed her mom had just died or something. "i'm sorry." she whispered.
"not your fault." she shrugged. "so...what's your story?"
tracy huffed with a small laugh. "you know most of it. mom and dad were alchies together, both decided they needed to seperate to get better. dad got this new girlfriend, stayed in our lives, then popped out this baby, which i'm guessing is fuckin' jesus reincarnated or something based on how he loves it, and then he just kinda...ran off. don't see him much now. not that i wanna anyways. he's a fucking loser."
now it was evie's turn to frown. "i'm sorry."
tracy smiled. "not your fault." she mimicked the girl.
they just kinda stared at each other for a while, the blonde's eyes occasionally flickering to evie's lips.
maybe it was the drugs.
maybe it was the pent up emotion.
tracy didn't know what it was that urged her to kiss her best friend.
but she did.
she leaned up slightly, evie's expression not once faltering, and pressed her lips against the brunette's. evie froze for a half second. anyone who wasn't utterly obsessed with evie wouldn't have noticed, but tracy was. tracy was utterly and irrevocably obsessed with evie zamora, she would kiss the ground she walked on give she requested.
she almost pulled away before evie started kissing her back, like how she did that day at evie's house. it made tracy's heart flutter in a way it never had with javi or any other boy she'd hooked up with.
and that's when she realized, this wasn't javi, this wasn't some boy she was hooking up with, this was 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦. evie who was a 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭, evie who was her 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥. that should've been enough to stop her, but it wasn't.
it clearly was for evie though, since the girl quickly pulled away.
their faces remained close, inches away, and tracy looked in awe.
"i love you, evie." she whispered, as though it was a secret.
"you shouldn't."
"yes, i should." she replied hastily. "you're a god, evie. you're everything i want and more, and i'd be an idiot not to love you. you are the world. if you asked, i would fly into space and grab the earth itself and place it into your hands."
evie clenched her jaw. "i don't feel the same."
a lie. perhaps the biggest lie she'd ever told.
"i know. and that's okay. you just need to know that."
"okay." evie muttered, nodding at the blonde.
tracy just nodded back.
"okay."
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
and tracy continued to love evie.
through the drugs, through the boys, through the betrayal, through her absence, through everything, tracy loved evie.
evie may have been a hundered miles away now, and it may have been years since the girls' eyes locked and their lips clashed, but it was okay.
it was okay because when she left, evie took a part of tracy with her.
and that part of tracy would forever love evie, and would forever be by her side and in her bed and kissing her lips.
until the day she died.