Thranduil / Reader (13) - Part 3
You stared at the shoes that had been handed to you but you did not know what to do with them so you just dropped them and decided to go barefoot. The guard who had been rude towards you before was waiting at the doorway anyway and you did not want to give him any reasons to like you even less, if that was even possible. You left the room in your new silky gown, wearing no shoes at all, which caused you to leave wet footprints on the floors made of stone. Your bruises and cuts had been healed… but apparently… being a creature from and of water, it constantly seemed like you had just gotten out from a lake, hence the trail of footprints on the floors.
You were escorted to the dining hall by Elros the guard who this time, for your pleasant surprise, did not push or drag you. Maybe the king had given him orders to be respectful towards you or perhaps… no, the king definitely had had something to do with this sudden change of attitude, although you could sense that his attitude was the same as before, now he just kept his opinions to himself and restrained himself so he did not even tell you to hurry up when your feet got tangled with the long hem of the dress and you nearly tripped.
Elros did not speak as he escorted you through great hall and long hallways, you took many turns, walked through many doorways and finally you were at the door of the dining hall. Elros told you to wait for a moment while he would announce your arrival and entered the large room. You stood completely still by the door, alone, while waiting for Elros to return. However it was taking longer than you had expected; you had assumed that the guard would just let the king know that you had arrived but now it seemed like they were taking their sweet time to exchange information or something.
Suddenly the door opened and Elros stepped out from the dining hall. “You may enter now” he said with a calm, yet very official tone and held the door open for you. You hesitated for a second, took a deep breath and grabbed some fabric of the dress in order to lift the hem a little. It was challenging enough to walk as it was since your feet felt were weak and flimsy still so you did not need any extra hindrance to make walking even more challenging to you. Besides, you were going to meet the man you were deeply in love with and the last thing you wanted to do was to make a fool out of yourself by tripping over and falling onto the floor. You squeezed the fabric tightly and started walking very slowly and cautiously towards the tall, stoic and very majestic man who was currently standing by a window and staring out into the surrounding forest. However the closer you got, the more nervous you became.
- Oh, there you are. Thranduil said as he turned to look at you. He walked to the table, gestured the servant to help you with the chair and said “Please, sit down.” You sat on the edge of the chair, holding your breath and then exhaled slowly. You were nervous because you did not know what would happen next and also due to the fact that you had a feeling that this was the “we’ll talk later” –moment that was mentioned earlier. You had tried to talk to the maid while she had braided your hair, just in case you suddenly and miraculously had gotten a voice while resting… but no… no voice… which meant… no talking. You put your hands on your lap, your fingers fiddling with the fabric of the dress while you waited for the king to speak.
- Now... Thranduil began, leaned back in his chair and focused his eyes on you. “I have some questions and I expect you to answer them…” he stated, his eyes scanning your reactions and you knew that he saw everything; every nervous action and expression, no matter how small and insignificant. You kept staring at the wooden surface of the table and listening to the smooth, calm yet assertive tone of the king. “…While we'll wait for the dinner to be served” he added and grabbed a wineglass that had been already filled with wine. You shifted your eyes from the table to the king and watched him carefully bringing the precious glass to his lips and taking a slow sip so very gracefully. You swallowed once as you got a vivid flash of him kissing you underwater before inhaling water and passing you. Oh, how you wished you could kiss him now… but no… Thranduil, for some reason, did not recognize you… or perhaps he was just pretending that he didn’t.
- What's your name? the king asked and put the glass back on the table. He gestured the servant who was constantly standing in the corner of the dining hall to bring something and then continued by stating “I have some paper, ink and a quill here…” The servant placed a small bottle, a thing that looked like a feather and a thin, white thing in front of you and walked back to the corner to wait for further orders. You stared at the items with a confused look on your face, feeling a state of panic taking over your mind because you had a feeling that you were supposed to know what these things were and the king was expecting you to be capable of using them. “…You can write your name since you cannot speak” the king spoke and then sat in silence, waiting for you to do something.
You stared at the blank white thing, the item called paper, with a helpless look on your face and sniffled once before your eyes filled with tears that rolled on your cheeks. You wiped your face immediately while the king spoke to you, saying something about taking the quill, whatever it was, dipping it in the ink and just writing your name on the paper. However his voice got muffled in your head made no sense to you. Finally you snapped out from the mental paralysis, grabbed the feather thing and placed it into the bottle like the elf was demanding you to. You lifted the quill, stared at the black liquid dripping slowly from it and placed the quill on the paper. You were holding it all wrong, squeezing it in your hand and awkwardly drew a black line on the paper. You stared at the line and then dropped the quill on the paper.
- Right... Thranduil commented and sighed. “You cannot write” he stated, his tone still very calm but slightly frustrated now; perhaps he had hoped that he could go around the muteness by making you write down the answers but clearly it was not going to be that easy. “Do you... have... a name?” he asked hesitantly, or maybe it was not hesitation in his voice but disbelief. In his world everyone had a name, you however did not even know if you had one. What if you did not have a name? What if you did but you had just forgotten it? Which one was worse? What if knowing your name was the key to everything? Thranduil could see that you were getting increasingly upset so he ordered the servant to take the writing-supplies away. He shifted his sitting position a bit and made an audible “Hm”-sound.
- Where are you from? he asked and instructed you to explain with your hands, surely you were able to do at least that. You shifted your gaze away from the elf to the table, took a deep breath and then lifted your hands from your lap to the table. You looked very thoughtful while your fingers drew shapes on the wooden surface. Thranduil waited patiently, it was obvious that you were trying to come up with a way to give him answers and therefore he was not rushing you. Suddenly you stopped, turned to look at him and drew a circle in the air. “A place” Thranduil said and followed your actions carefully. He kept throwing guesses that were not even close while you were desperately trying to speak with your hands. “An island?” he asked and you shook your head as a response, both of you clearly getting a bit frustrated. “No. Go on” the king said and took a deep breath. You made a wavy gesture with your hand and then he said “Water” you nodded, to which he commented “Good.” You kept drawing the circle as well as the waves into the air and pointing down, into them and then pointing at yourself.
- Sea... down... Down in the sea? Thranduil said and you nodded. “That makes no sense” he commented which made you repeat the same place-waves-down-me –combination over and over. “Yes, I do understand you” the elf stated, sighed and then listed “Water... down... further down... pond... a lake... you… down in the water.” He rubbed his chin and shook his head. “Listen, you cannot possibly...” he said, stopped suddenly talking and then exclaimed “Ah, you're from south, by the sea!” You sighed deep and dropped your head as a reaction, which Thranduil mistook as a nod. He was very pleased that he finally had some answers and even though it was very time and effort consuming to get information like this, it was clearly working and therefore the king was very pleased indeed. You decided to let him have it; it did not make any difference anyway, so if the elf wanted to think that you had come from some faraway realm that located in the south by a sea… then fine, whatever.
- Are you lost? Thranduil asked. You shook your head as a response. “No? Then why are you here?” he asked calmly. You pointed at yourself and made a gesture that described rejection. Thranduil stayed silent for a moment and then started guessing. The first word was easy, it was “You...” obviously and then he started listing words that would fit such strong gesture which you were making. “…Forbidden... stopped... No. Not allowed? Rejected?” Thranduil listed but you kept shaking your head. However you gestured him to go on and after few more guesses the king said “Banned? Banished?” to which you reacted by nodding. “Banished” the elf stated and nodded.
- Why were you banished? he asked curiously, his eyes reading your expression, missing and ignoring nothing. You did not know what to do. Should you be honest and confess your feelings to the regal elf sitting by the end of the table, kind of next to you, but also kind of in front of you. You pointed at yourself, then shielded your heart with your both hands and then pointed at the king. Your actions were slow and cautious, it was more than obvious that you were nervous. “You... heart... me?” Thranduil asked and leaned back in his chair. Then he made an “Ah!” –sound and stated victoriously “You fell in love with an elf lord.”
You wanted to scream, grab the king by his shoulders and shake some sense into him… although, basically he was… right; you had fallen in love with an elf lord, what he did not understand that he actually was the elf lord in question. You rolled your eyes in deep frustration and started to explain with your hands that Thranduil had been swimming in the lake, dived down and then nearly drowned, however as you relived the moments of horror in your head, your gestures became quite erratic, desperate and not very clear. You just kept pointing at Thranduil, then making waves in the air, mimicking swimming and diving and in the end holding your throat as a sign of not being able to breathe.
- Hold on, calm down, my lady. Thranduil demanded, although his tone was quite comforting and soothing. “Slower, please” he said and you nodded as a response. You took a deep breath and continued making the same gestures but this time taking your time to make each and every one of them as precisely as you could.
- Me... swimming... water. the king said and then stated “Yes I do enjoy swimming.” You sighed, rolled your eyes and continued. “Me... dive... down... throat... strangled... What?” the elf asked, his expression getting more and more confused. “Air... no air. Water... no air... drown” he said and then added “Me... drowned.” The king kept staring at you with a dumbfounded expression, clearly having no idea what you were even talking about and then commented “That is ridiculous, my Lady.” He chuckled and shook his head, clearly amused. He had forgotten everything about it.
Now there was an awkward silence, neither of you said anything, even you, with your hands of course. You couldn’t believe it; somehow the king had managed to block the memory so well that it had been completely erased from his mind. How was that even possible? Anyway, at least it now made sense that he did not recognize you and to be honest, you felt a little bit better about it because now you know that he was not deliberately pretending to not-know you and ignoring you. However now you also knew that whatever you told him about the world below it would make no sense to him and he would not, most likely, believe you. The silence screamed at both of you louder than any voice could, such depressing thing, too much to be ignored but also too paralyzing to be broken, so it just remained like that for the next long minutes… until another servant entered the room, carrying a tray of appetizer plates. “Oh, dinner is served now, perfect timing” the elf commented casually, pretending that the silence had not bothered him at all. You knew, though, that it was nothing but a well-rehearsed act; you could feel that the elf was equally bothered about the things you had told him. Did he… wonder? Had you sparked a memory… or… even just a feeling?
The servant set the table with shiny cutlery and precious wineglasses, two for each, a jug of water as well as a bottle of wine and then placed ready-made plates in front of you and the king. The servant wished you both a good meal and then left the room, the other servant stayed in the corner, waiting for requests. The king gestured him to fill your and Thranduil’s glasses with water and wine and then dismissed him back to the corner with one single, small yet effective gesture, it was just a subtle “go away” –sign that he did with his fingers and this made it more than obvious to you that Thranduil was a very powerful person and in this court his power was absolute. This notion both intrigued and scared you; it made you admire him even more but at the same time, it made you slightly afraid of him. What if he dismissed you with the same small, but strong gesture someday? Did you deserve anything more? A creature with no voice… with no name.
The king took the fork and the knife gracefully into his hands and started to eat. He enjoyed his appetizers in silence, sometimes taking small sips from his glasses, water… and wine… and water again… He cut the pieces of food into small pieces to avoid making any mess and to make sure that his mouth was never too full. His table manners were perfect and he used his cutleries with such precision that it made you nervous. You kept staring at your plate, with the same hopeless expression on your face. Your stomach was demanding for food but… you just couldn’t… you did not know how… and seeing Thranduil performing the task so flawlessly, it was intimidating, making you feel worthless as well as so ridiculous. There was no way the king would ever fall in love with a pathetic fool like you.
- Are you not hungry, my Lady? he asked after he had nearly finished his plate. You nodded.
- Is the food not to your liking? he asked, his tone quite neutral but there was an undertone of judgment in it, or perhaps you were just imagining it. Maybe the elf found your incompetence amusing… or perhaps it was irritating, it was impossible to tell. It was also possible that he felt sorry for you, but not in the good way. Besides, you did not need anyone’s pity. You just needed a break… you just needed a chance to take back and completely erase these past two days so you could make the only smart decision, which obviously would be to stay by the lake. Thranduil put his fork and knife down, shifted his gaze from his plate to you and stared at you with a puzzled expression.
- You do not know how to use knife and fork. he stated with a barely audible, soft tone. You shook your head and gasped as you felt yourself crack in front of him. You sniffled, wiped the tears off your cheeks and placed your hands on your lap again. Thranduil ordered the servant to collect the plates and then said something to the servant but you were too emotional and distracted to understand it. Thranduil recited the same spell than before and then stated
- The dinner will take a moment more to get ready.
“Ah, great! I’ll get to embarrass myself a little more. I had no idea that we’re so different, my lov… my lord. You are the image of perfection and grace… while… I cannot even eat properly-”
- So you fell in love with an elf lord, who drowned. Thranduil wondered aloud and broke the silence. “It was forbidden... so you got banished... and now you're here” he summed up what he already knew. Then he took a brief pause, inhaled and asked “But why here?” You shifted your gaze away from the beautiful elf and kept staring at the fine glasses in front of you. Your cutleries as well as your plate had been collected away by the servant and you did not know if this was the end of the dinner for you or if you were required to test your luck with another plate. Both options were equally embarrassing; whether you would sit silently and watch Thranduil eat or… you would sit silently and watch Thranduil eat while your plate would get cold in front of you. “You're very far away from the sea in south. Do you realize that?” he asked curiously. You dropped your head as a response.
- This would be so much easier if you could talk, my lady. the elf commented, the comment making your face tense up and your hands clenching into tight fists.
- Yes, I do understand your frustration. Thranduil stated. He knew that he was not actually helping it, just making it worse, probably. However he needed answers and therefore, now that you were once more waiting for the dinner to arrive, he decided to ask you few questions more.
- But there is more, isn't there? he stated with a deep, neutral voice, however there was an undertone of compassion which you were able to pick out even though you were an emotional mess right now. “I can see it in you, in your eyes. Disappointment and grief” the elf described and after a short silence he added “I know those feelings all too well, my lady.” You shifted your gaze to Thranduil and stared at him with a heartbroken expression. “You should not abandon hope, though” he said and smiled a little. “Time heals all wounds” he spoke reassuringly.
"Time that I do not have."
- Did I say something to upset you? Thranduil asked with a confused tone since his comment about time made you avert your gaze and you tensed up once more. You shook your head. “No? I have a feeling that I did” Thranduil commented and then asked “Is it about the elf lord that drowned?” This question caused a visible reaction in you; you swallowed nervously as you stared at the table.
- It is, isn't it? Thranduil stated and sighed. He felt sorry for you and therefore he decided to tell you that “I know what it is like to lose someone you care for very deeply.” You chuckled bitterly. “He did not drown?” the king asked, tilted his head and watched you carefully as you pointed at him, then at your forehead and finally at yourself. “He... no... mind... you” Thranduil spoke and then stated “He doesn't remember you.” You nodded with a defeated expression shadowing your uncommon yet delicate and beautiful features.
- Well that is... Uhm... Thranduil stammered, sighed and continued by stating “…Like I said before... time-“ However this statement sent you into frenzy. You pointed at yourself and made the strong rejection –gesture, repeatedly while the elf just stared at you with a confused look on your face.
- You... no... you... no... you... what? he asked, his tone now very concerned, worried even. It was obvious that you were trying to tell him something very important but you were doing your gestures in such frantic way that he was really struggling to get your point. “No... don't have... You don't have... what?” he asked and you nodded as a reply. You lifted one finger and then made a gesture that meant snow. “One... first... rain?” Thranduil asked. You shook your head and made the rejection –sign, then mimicked pouring rain and made the rejection –sign once more. “Not coming down... pouring rain... no pouring rain. Soft rain... snow?” he asked, you nodded. You repeated the first gesture again and Thranduil said “First snow.” You nodded but then the king made a ridiculous comment that made you sigh in frustration. “You don't have first snow? Obviously, it is summer” he stated and rolled his eyes.
You kept making gestures, pointing at yourself, the strong rejection –sign and then pointed one spot at the table after which you pointed at another spot. After this you kind of presented the space in between those spots while the king kept making guesses that were nowhere near what you were trying to say. He took a deep breath, asked you to calm down and to try once more, but slower. You inhaled, exhaled and then repeated the gestures.
- You don't... oh, no "don't"... you have... here... there... in between... until? the elf asked and you nodded as a confirmation. Then you made the snowing –gesture again. “You have until first snow. Time? Then what?” Thranduil asked, his tone deeply troubled and nearly desperate. At that moment a servant entered the dining hall, carrying plates on a tray. “Ah, finally!” Thranduil commented, clearly pleased by the perfect timing that saved you both from yet another guessing game. You watched the servant placing the plates in front of you and Thranduil. This time there were many cups and smaller plates, all hosting different kind of… bites. No fork and knife were provided this time.
- Fill my glasses, thank you. Thranduil said to the servant and watched him observantly first filling the wineglass and then pouring water into the other glass. Your glasses had not been touched yet so they did not need any refills. “Now, leave us” the king commanded and instead of returning to the corner to wait, the servant left the room completely, leaving you alone with the handsome ruler.
- Shall we talk about something more cheerful? Yes? Thranduil asked and took a sip from his wineglass. He noticed that you, again, did not know what to do so he cleared his throat to gain your attention and smiled.
- Grab the foot of the glass, raise it and bring it to your lips. he spoke and showed you how to do it. He held his glass so gracefully that you felt your head spinning a little. You placed your hand on the foot of the glass that had been filled with water and lifted it shakily. Thranduil followed your actions and said “Then you'll...” but stopped talking when you accidentally spilled some water on your dress.
- It's alright, do not worry about it. he said and added calmly “It is just water” his tone friendly and compassionate.
Thranduil put his glass back to the table, stood up and walked next to you. He squatted next to your chair, placed his hand on yours as you were still holding onto the water glass, squeezing it so tightly that your whole body as well as mind were both completely tensed up. You did not even dare to breathe properly. Thranduil brushed the back of your hand softly, his touch making your skin tingle and after a moment you relaxed and released your grip from the glass. You stared at his fingers gracefully tracing yours, following the bones and veins with such delicate motions as he spoke to you, close to your ear in soft, deep voice, perhaps reciting an ancient spell to put your mind at ease. You felt his warm breath on your neck, his lips so close to your earlobe that you could nearly feel them brushing your skin time to time, but surely you were only imagining. You turned your head to meet his eyes and stared deep into the blue depths, framed by such long, delicate eyelashes. You shifted your gaze from his eyes to his lips and followed them very carefully as he spoke. You parted your lips as a reaction and closed your eyes…
- Please, allow me. Thranduil said, waking you up from your daydreams. You jumped a little, opened your eyes and before you could even register his expression, you shifted your gaze away from the king’s face to the glass in front of you on the table. The king removed the water glass from your hand and replaced it with the glass that was filled with wine. “Hold the glass like this” the elf spoke and placed your hand on the glass in the correct way, his fingers moving in such elegant and delicate way that it looked like he had been handling a precious gem or a beautiful flower. After he had positioned your hand to hold the glass in the correct way, he still kept his hand there on yours. “Good” he commented, speaking softly right next to your ear, his deep voice making your skin feel electrified and your stomach fill with strange tingling sensation. “Now lift it to your... uhm... lips...” he spoke, clearly getting slightly distracted when he shifted his attention to your lips. He guided the glass on your lips and spoke “…And keep raising the foot of the glass so the liquid pours slowly... into... your... mouth.” The king placed his fingers gently under your chin and guided you to raise your chin while he whispered “Raise your chin a little. Good.”
The wine was sweet and strong; it warmed up your insides when you swallowed it and made your head feel light, but in the most comfortable and pleasant way possible. You emptied half of the glass, the king guiding you and following your actions from the close distance and then removed the glass from your hand. He put it back to the table and focused his attention to you again, his other hand still holding your chin like it had. Thranduil shifted his fingers a little and brushed your lips with his thumb. He traced your mouth, sometimes barely touching the delicate yet plump skin and occasionally rubbing your lower lip quite demandingly. He slipped his thumb into your mouth to meet the tip of your tongue. Then he slowly removed his finger, brought it on his lips and licked it slowly, only once while staring deep into your water-colored eyes. He made a small “Mmm” –sound and tilted his head while commenting that he could taste the wine on you.
After this he stood up, returned to his seat, the chair at the end of the table, and sat down. You felt your heart racing, it was beating so fast that you would either pass out or it would explode. Your lips were tingling from Thranduil’s touch and your head was spinning from the wine, making you hungry for more. Oh, you wanted to kiss him and to wrap your arms around him, you wanted to feel his body against yours, his warmth surrounding you and making you forget all about the long years you had spent in the cold, dark depths of the world below.
- So... today we're having... a selection of different kinds of fruits and vegetables, cheeses... bread... in slices. Thranduil said and pointed every item on the plates. “And fried fish” he added and pointed at a fish that was covered with slices of some fruit and herms. You swallowed once, remembering the times you had actually been swimming with fishes in the lake and seeing one dead, motionless and fried on a plate was… weird. “You... you do not like fish.” Thranduil stated but the statement sounded more like a question. “You do not have to eat it if you do not like it” he mumbled, clearly upset, paused and continued “I am just trying to-“ You however stopped him by placing your hand on his, although it was a bit far away since the table was quite large, very festive and made to accommodate many people at the same time. You smiled and nodded. You would eat fish, you would eat anything… you did not want to upset the king who had shown you so much kindness even though he did not know you.
Thranduil prepared a plate for you, placing different bites on the fine porcelain and cutting a piece of the fish for you. He placed it on a piece of bread so it was easy to eat by hand, no cutleries needed. You were so grateful for this and after he had fixed a plate for himself you both started to eat, sometimes sharing long looks and shy smiles with each other. The different fruits and vegetables tasted weird at first but soon you got used to the act of eating and chewing, which made the entire experience so much more enjoyable. You discovered new flavors, some of them you liked very much and some… not so much… but you were more than happy to try anything. You even dared to drink on your own and for your relief it went alright and you did not make a mess like you had feared.
- So... the healer informed me that you had many cuts and bruises on your arms and legs... but for her surprise... you bled water instead of... blood. Thranduil spoke while trying to decide what to eat next. He was nearly full but he wanted to have a second round with few of his favorites. “Are you in pain?” he asked softly. You shook your head.
- I was told that you were found in the forest... wearing nothing. he described and then asked with a slightly hesitant tone “Were you... assaulted?” You shook your head again and he exclaimed “Thank Valar!” as a response.
- It is obvious that you are neither a human nor an elf... I've never met anyone like you, but then again, I have never visited the southern realms. the king spoke, grabbed a piece of bread and put a small fillet of the fish on it. “What I find very interesting and... odd...” he stated, paused and focused his attention to you. He placed the bread on his plate and continued “…Is that you have managed to sneak into the forest without being noticed earlier.”
You could feel his eyes reading you once more, examining and dissecting your every gesture, action as well as expression. You did not know how to respond because the truth was that you had always been in the forest, kind of, and it was Thranduil himself who had come up with the insane idea of you sneaking into Mirkwood forest from some southern faraway realm that located by the sea. However the wine as well as the feeling of being full, not too full but pleasantly full from all the delicious dishes, were making you feel rather sleepy and therefore you did not feel like contradicting with anything the king said.
- Our borders are well-protected... Thranduil commented, chuckled and continued “…Although... perhaps not as well as I have thought, considering...” he said and took a playful and amused glance at you. You did not know if his amusement was meant to insult you or make you feel embarrassed so you just shifted your gaze away from him and stared at the empty plate in front of you. Perhaps the king was… angry at you… although he did not seem angry, quite the opposite actually. Thranduil sensed that you were getting nervous and tensed up again. He smiled, reached out to you and put his large, warm hand on yours.
- It is alright. he said reassuringly, squeezed your hand gently and stated “You are safe now. You may stay as long as you like.”