Frederick Garland / Reader - Part 2
Confusion. Deep, utter confusion.
That was the state of mind you were in after getting into the car and telling the driver to take you back to the office. You wanted to ignore everything that Mister Garland had said about your relationship in order to be able to return to your normal daily routine and to face your fiancée. You tried to recover from this confusion that was turning into a panic attack by every kilometer that you got closer to the business district and the office of your father’s company until you couldn’t take it anymore.
- I will work from home for the rest of the day. you said just as the driver was about to take a turn and drive into the huge parking garage under the office building.
- Very well, Miss (Y/N). the driver said and instead of turning he continued driving forward. You opened the window to get some air and immediately when the car stopped in front of the apartment building you were living in, you basically jumped out from the car and ran into the building without greeting the doorman.
The reason why you were reacting like this was that deep down you knew that Garland had had a point. In other words you were aware, on some level at least, that your wedding photographer had been right. It was embarrassing that a complete stranger had been able to make these remarks based on an hour long conversation with you. Your first reaction was to deny it, to ignore the nagging voice in the back of your head, telling you that you were making a huge mistake by marrying someone whom you didn’t even truly love and this voice was getting increasingly louder by every passing moment.
However you managed to push these thoughts away by telling yourself that this Frederick –guy was totally wrong as well as completely out of line, outrageous even, and you were just stressed out from everything that was happening at this current moment; the wedding, the merger… and therefore you had been unable to express yourself like a bride-to-be should. “Yes, that must be it!” you thought several times, chuckled with relief and called yourself silly for getting so distracted from the main plan, which was to get married and to build a great future together with your fiancée, a future that would benefit yours and his families’ businesses as well.
But the truth was that you didn’t love the man you were about to marry, George was his name, and whether you acknowledged or accepted it yourself, you subconscious was now pondering around the approaching doom constantly. This made you feel trapped and instead of being excited about the wedding you tried to ignore thinking about it and truthfully speaking you just wanted to get it over with. You didn’t really care about the cake… or the flowers… or even about your wedding dress… and therefore your mother-in-law had basically hijacked the wedding planning. It was brutally obvious that your mind was somewhere else, most likely occupied by the upcoming merger of course, so George’s mother had offered her helping hand since you didn’t really seem to give a damn… especially after meeting the wedding photographer. This she found slightly suspicious.
So you concentrated on your work and tried to ignore every and any signs of the upcoming wedding. You pretended to be excited about it when it was necessary and you never talked about your silent concerns with anyone but after being freed from the wedding-planning-duties you really didn’t want to hear anything about the whole event. Your plan was to just push through it and then focus on the future. Perhaps, if you were lucky and surely you would be, you would fall in love with George with time… or at least your life with him would be successful and easy as well as financially secured. Besides this marriage was going to make so many people happy, both of your parents for example, and therefore calling it off without a real, significantly serious reason would be pure madness!
No, you wouldn’t call it off… just like you couldn’t call off your life. This was your life and it was good in every possible aspect. There had been a time when you had been a romantic and believed in love at the first sight but then you had grown up. On the top of everything you had seen so many love-based relationships going bust and this had convinced you that it was the wisest thing to do to be smart about these things; a relationship that based on reason and beneficial choices would surely withstand the ups and downs that any relationship would surely face at some point.
Those two weeks between meeting Frederick Garland and the big event went by very slowly, almost as if time had slowed down immensely and eventually stopped completely giving you plenty of opportunities to question your decisions, although you constantly pushed these troubling thoughts away. You had kept hoping that time would slip away quickly so you would just get on with it but instead of that, every day had felt like an eternity, every endless moment taunting you to take action and mocking you for surrendering yourself to the pending fate.
Finally it was the early morning of the rehearsal dinner, the day before the wedding. You had arrived to the hotel that hosted the wedding already yesterday late in the evening so you would be onsite during the last preparations. You had not really been able to sleep during last night and you had also skipped breakfast because you were feeling physically nauseous. You had been able to avoid thinking about the wedding since your mother-in-law had taken over the wedding-organizing but now the reality was being slammed against your face and you had run out of spreadsheets to hide behind.
- Ah, Mister Garland. You are early, it is barely eight AM. you said when you saw the photographer in his Victorian styled coat entering the lobby of the hotel with his camera gear. The man looked well-rested, unlike you, and just as handsome as he had looked two weeks ago; he had brushed his hair very neatly but since he had slightly curly hair, it seemed to have a life of its own. He took his long coat off and underneath he was wearing a deep dark green suit jacket made of velvet, sand brown trousers and a brown or slightly russet vest made of satin and decorated with gold-colored embroideries as well as a silky dark red scarf, neatly tucked under the vest. He looked like a gentleman from another era but the look suited him perfectly. He greeted you and walked to you after handing his camera to his assistant.
- Yes, I wanted to check the place. he spoke with a kind, friendly and polite tone and after gathering his thoughts very quickly he corrected himself by stating “I wanted to check the light…” Frederick paused for a moment and then added “…Beforehand.” Seeing you and talking with you again made him somewhat nervous because he had a feeling that he had said something two weeks ago that he should apologize for; he had questioned the relationship between you and your fiancée, which had been very unprofessional indeed. Besides you were a woman who surely knew what she wanted and this assertiveness made him feel rather shy and lacking confidence.
- A true professional. you commented and flashed a shy smile. There was something about Frederick Garland that was very charming and strangely comforting. You didn’t know him at all, just his name and profession really, but still in the middle of the ongoing madness he resembled a beacon of light, a voice of reason… the knight in the shining armor that would potentially save you from the forthcoming life sentence. This was not what you actively thought, oh no, but something that your subconscious was screaming at you silently behind your seemingly calm and collected exterior. Yes, your subconscious had developed some kind of crush on Mister Garland during these past two weeks and now that you were talking with him again you couldn’t stop the attraction taking over your conscious mind as well.
- Yes. I try to be. he replied with a cute blush on his cheeks.
You shared a brief conversation with the photographer and then you were pulled aside by your future mother-in-law. Apparently there was some kind of problem with the caterers as well as with the fact that George had not called his mother like he had promised to. You grabbed a bottle of sparkling wine, opened it and whenever you had a second for yourself or you managed to steal a moment of peace and quiet, you took a sip from the bottle to make it more tolerable for you. However the tipsier you got the more charming Mister Garland started to appear to you. Sure he was a charming man in any case but the more you exchanged secret long looks and smiles with him during these few hours of the morning as well as midday, combined with the impacts of the expensive champagne, the more attracted you got to the handsome stranger.
- So… How does it look now? you asked Frederick when the hired team of decorators had finished decorating the large banquette room. It was nearly half past one and almost everyone had left the hotel to get a quick lunch in a fine bistro nearby but you however had declined the invitation, just barely though, by saying that you weren’t actually hungry yet. “I’m saving my appetite for the dinner” you had told your parents as well as to the parents of your fiancée, George.
- It looks… Frederick answered with a slightly hesitant voice. “…Good” he added after a small pause. You stood side by side in the doorway of the large room… the venue for your rehearsal dinner tonight and the wedding tomorrow. The decorations were grandiose and quite old fashioned and it made the stage for the upcoming wedding to look like a scene from a movie… a movie that felt very impersonal and uninviting for you. “Exactly how I imagined it” Frederick commented with a polite tone, although it was quite clear that he did not like it so much. He liked old fashioned clothes and had an eye for beautiful things but this… this just didn’t fit you at all. The room looked stiff and almost threatening; a golden cage that had been built just to trap you into a life that wasn’t supposed to be yours.
- You hate it. you chuckled and emptied the bottle that you had been carrying with you the last hour or so. “Just so you know, my future mother-in-law took over the arrangements after all and…” you spoke after swallowing the last bits of the champagne that had already lost all its bubbles and was now about room-temperature. “…Here we are” you mumbled with a sarcastic voice that had a slightly bitter undertone. ”Fancy, flamboyant and fabulous!” you exclaimed and started to laugh almost manically.
- Three F’s. Frederick commented casually while trying to read your tone and figure out how you were doing mentally. It was obvious that you were a little bit drunk, not much but slightly.
- Just wait for a moment and she will come up with yet another F to… you stated and then exclaimed “…Fascinate… us with!” Frederick took a quick look around to make sure that there were no curious ears to hear you mocking the sense of style of your future mother-in-law. Fortunately there were no one except you and Frederick.
- Ha-ha! he chuckled and then continued by saying “Well, at least you seem a bit more cheerful now-”
- Yes, I began my day with a bottle of champagne. you commented immediately, raised the bottle to your lips and groaned into the bottle when you realized that it was empty already. You walked into the grand hall and placed the empty champagne bottle on the bar counter with a loud bang. The sound echoed in the vast space and faded into a silence since Frederick was not going to make any comments this time. You took a deep breath and folded your arms tightly.
- During these two past weeks it has gotten fairly clear to me that I cannot go through with this… you mumbled while staring out from the large window into the gray garden. “…Sober at least” you added with a bitter chuckle. Frederick noticed that you were shivering a little in your sleeveless business-styled dress so he walked to you, took off his green suit jacket and placed it on your shoulders. He battled with himself if his gesture was too bold or should he perhaps rub your arms a little to make you feel warmer… you clearly were in need of both mental and physical support but then again… you were getting married tomorrow… yes that, and the fact that Mister Garland didn’t know you. He knew only what he had studied online; you were a highly educated and successful businesswoman from an influential family and you were about to marry a man who was pretty much like you but… a man.
- Oh? Frederick commented curiously. “Had something happened? Where was this coming from?” these questions troubled his mind even though he knew that he wasn’t supposed to get emotionally involved with this gig… with you. No, you were just a client, a very influential client from a very important business society and despite the fact that you were absolutely gorgeous, intelligent and captivating, you were a bride… and he was your wedding photographer and you were going to marry this guy called George whom Frederick had never even met yet!
- As it happens, inconveniently… you began and took a quick glance at the man standing again next to you, now without his green velvet suit jacket. “I think you might have been slightly right” you spoke with a somewhat defeated tone. “About… many things” you added with a barely audible tone after a sharp, sudden inhale.
- Ah. Frederick commented because he didn’t know what else to say. He felt like he had already said too much and whatever he had said, even though he had spoken sincerely from his heart, he had had something to do with this chaotic state of mind that you were now in. Frederick felt guilty for screwing up your plan although his opinion still was that you shouldn’t go through with it. However after reflecting as well as reconsidering his actions and point of views he had come to a conclusion that he owed you an apology.
- Speaking of which… he said and then continued. “The other reason for my earliness is that…” he spoke with a cautious, yet considerate and slightly shy voice. “…I also wanted to apologize” he added with a small, cute smile.
- For what? you asked, clearly surprised for this sudden statement.
- For… earlier. the photographer explained and after a deep inhale he continued. “It is true that I have not met you or your fiancée… and I cannot possibly say anything about your relationship with him” he spoke while staring deep into your eyes with those big blue eyes of his that sparkled like precious gemstones when light hit them in the right angle like it now did. “Where is he by the way?” he asked, waking you up from the spell that his eyes had put you under.
- In a meeting. you replied and shifted your gaze elsewhere immediately although you wanted nothing more than to let yourself to drown into the gorgeous depths of Frederick Garland’s eyes. Frederick noticed that you were trying to hide from him which was something that he had never expected you to do, taking into consideration the way you had been in control two weeks ago, so he stepped to stand in front of you and as an automated reaction placed his hand on your jaw to guide you to look at him.
- But… it is… he stammered and shook his head with deep confusion decorating his face while he continued “…The day of the rehearsal… and tomorrow is-“
- The wedding. you stated and interrupted him. “Believe me, I know” you mumbled bitterly and involuntarily leaned towards his warm, caring hand as he still kept cupping your face with it. Frederick however realized what he was doing and removed his hand instantly. He was crossing a line and nearly forgetting what he was doing here; capturing your wedding… the wedding of you and your fiancée, George.
- Please, worry not. he spoke and smiled reassuringly. “The dinner is still…” he said and checked his pocket watch. “…Six hours away. Plenty of time” he commented.
- Yeah, he should be boarding the airplane any minute now. you commented, walked to the bar counter and took another bottle of champagne out from the small fridge.
- The… airplane? Frederick asked with a confused tone.
- Yep. you commented while opening the bottle. You closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath just to push your feelings away. However the truth was that your calm exterior was about to crack any moment now and you were slipping beyond the help of tipsiness. You needed to get heavily drunk to be able to go through this day… and tomorrow. You didn’t want to remember any of it, you didn’t really want it to even happen. But the thing was that you felt like there were forces stronger and bigger than you, pushing you forward whether you wanted it or not. It was like… you had passed the point of no return and all you could now do was to scold yourself for not putting an end to the nonsense months ago! But you had not and therefore you had to see this through, right to the bitter end.
- I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Mister Garland said because he noticed that you were clearly battling against emotions, bottled deep inside you and now surfacing with such enormous force that you couldn’t contain. There was a loud pop when the cork of the champagne bottle flew across the room, ending up in the middle of the dance floor. You took a long gulp from the bottle and sighed when you heard your relatives returning from their lunch. It had been a quick bite indeed and you couldn’t let them see you like this.
- I need to get out from here. you mumbled, hid the bottle behind your back as you frantically scanned the room for an exit.
- Fredrick Garland, the photographer and the knight in the shining armor, at your service. Frederick said and bowed theatrically. The gesture made you chuckle a little and therefore you told him to lead the way.
Frederick took your hand and led you into the service corridor, through the busy kitchen and finally into the quiet part of the garden where there was a gazebo that looked a little like a greenhouse. It wasn’t raining outside and therefore you could have taken a stroll in the garden but the weather was rather chilly as well as windy and therefore Frederick had decided that it was better to seek some shelter instead of just aimlessly wandering around the decaying garden. You offered to give Frederick his jacket back but he gestured you to keep it so you wrapped it around your shivering arms tightly and sat down on a bench made of white marble.
- How are you feeling? Any better? the photographer asked and sat down next to you.
- Like I can breathe again. you answered and let the humid, chilly air fill your lungs entirely as you inhaled slowly.
- Good. Frederick said and put his hand on yours as a sign of care and companionship as you rested your hand on your lap. “You look beautiful, by the way” he commented after a long silence. You were wearing a dark knee-long business-savvy dress, your hair was neatly on a ponytail and on your face there was quite strong makeup. Your lips were painted with a classic red lipstick and eyes lined with black eyeliner, it was very precise and highlighted the shape of your eyes beautifully… although your eye makeup had gotten slightly smudged since you had been wiping the corners of your eyes many times during the previous conversation.
- What? I am not even… you stated and took a small pocket mirror from the pocket of your dress. You checked your makeup and noticed that your eyeliner was far from perfect now. “I’m a mess… like my future mother-in-law would put it” you commented as you tried to wipe the smudge off with your fingertip. You however only managed to make it worse and soon you were staring at your reflection with conspicuously unevenly lined eyes. “Shit” you sighed.
- No… I think… No. Frederick stammered shyly. He didn’t want to seem too eager but he wanted to make you feel a little better. He after all had promised to be the knight in the shining armor and that was what he wanted to do.
- Well, thank you. you sighed and put the mirror back into your pocket.
- So… accounting and risk management? Frederick asked after a somewhat long silence during which he had held your hand and brushed your knuckles softly with his thumb.
- Yeah. you sighed, cleared your throat and stood up. “Combined with corporate law” you added and turned to look at Frederick who was still sitting on the marble bench.
- Ouch. he commented and flashed a boyishly charming smile that made you blush a little.
- Ha-ha! You know… you started, took a deep breath and then continued. “There was a time when I wanted to be an actress” you spoke with a tone that was filled with silent, suppressed excitement.
- Oh, a movie star? the photographer asked curiously.
- No… not quite. you replied and then stated “Acting on stage… plays and musicals.”
- Really? he asked with a surprised tone. “Although… Now that I think about it, I am not that surprised” he added after few seconds.
- Why is that? you asked curiously.
- Well, let’s just say that I can picture you on a stage… he replied and then mumbled “…And not in a dusty, old office sitting behind a computer screen.” The statement made you laugh a little because your office was everything but dusty and old. It was modern and spacious, it had large windows and a great view over the rooftops. Besides half of your work-time you spent in various meetings, on business lunches and meeting new potential clients in cocktail parties and therefore sitting behind a computer screen was only approximately half of your job description.
- I’m curious though… Frederick stated and after a quick inhale, he continued “…Since it is apparent that you have that natural charm-“
- Charm? you asked with a slightly amused and deeply puzzled tone.
- Yes. Frederick sighed and smiled shyly while he explained “You enter the room and everything just stops-“
- Stops? What do you mean? you asked with a confused tone.
- Well… you see… You are impossible to ignore. he stated and when you shifted your gaze to him, you noticed a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. This made him look even cuter and more charming which made caused your heart to skip a beat or two as the pale natural light hit his eyes and made them sparkle again. “You take control of the situation and captivate your listeners with your radiant personality” he spoke and stood up like he had been under a spell. Frederick walked to you to stand quite close, completely forgetting why you and he had met in the first place.
- You flatter all your clients like this? you asked while staring into Frederick’s blue eyes, entirely captivated and hypnotized by the beauty of them. There were small wrinkles, crows’-feet in the corner of his eyes and when he smiled they made his entire face smile with him. He had such sincere, adorable smile and when he smiled at you, you felt like you were the only person in the entire world, the very center of his universe. George never looked at you like this, he never smiled at you like this… from the bottom of his heart, sincerely and thoroughly. Why didn’t he? You were supposed to marry the guy and never had he been this concentrated on you. He was always so caught up in business deals, never turning off his phone or putting it on mute even on your dates and therefore every second spent alone with Frederick made it seem increasingly insane to marry George.
- No, only the ones who have… it. Frederick spoke with a soft, deep tone… the voice that you could have listened to for hours and hours without getting tired of it. “That fire” he sighed as he leaned closer and closed his eyes to which you reacted by doing the same. You felt his breath upon your lips and his nose softly brushing yours as he stayed so close but yet too far to actually kiss you. Your breathing turned into shallow, random gasps and your mind filled with anticipation while you waited patiently for the stranger to make his move. You knew that this was wrong… but then again you were just so caught up in the moment and your subconscious was whispering to you that this was the way out from your difficult situation. Frederick Garland was your savior, the knight in the shining armor… just like he had promised to be.
You waited and waited, savoring the tingling feeling in your stomach, the long missed butterflies, as Frederick’s breath lingered on your lips and his presence surrounded you even though he wasn’t physically even touching you. You wanted to grab the collar of his vest, tangle your fingers with the fine fabric but you didn’t want to be the one to make the move… not even if your entire being was begging you to do so. However in your mind you imagined it over and over, the kiss, the warm embrace and what it would feel like… to escape your life, your pending future even for a moment. Would he kiss you sweetly or perhaps press you against the glass wall and allow his lips explore yours with great passion? Would he wrap his arms around you, smile against your lips and after kissing the corner of your mouth very softly tell you to call off the wedding?