Thranduil / Reader (9) - Option B "To stay"
It felt like you had been surrounded by the cold darkness for a long time although it had been only a matter of minutes. However it was enough time for you to go though the main events of your life; the decisions that had grown to define you as a person and set your path to head towards this exact moment. You felt overwhelming sadness replacing the anger as well as the bitterness as you accepted that this was the end. You were sad for many things but most deeply you were sad just for the realization that you had wasted your life recklessly by letting the lust for revenge and the sense of self-entitlement drive you and blind you and these things had prevented you from growing as a person and seeing that there were other paths to take… better paths.
Suddenly you saw the calm surface of the lake being disturbed by something. You were on the verge of passing out and you were only capable of seeing shapes and shades... but there was something diving towards you, emitting pale, ethereal light as it got nearer and eventually reached you. You felt warm lips on yours and suddenly your lungs were filled with air, just enough to keep you from inhaling water and escaping consciousness. Then your numb body was pressed firmly against the hauntingly beautiful creature that had dived into the darkness to pull you out from it as he wrapped his arm around you and slowly fought his way to the surface.
You gasped for oxygen as your face was greeted by the freezing cold air. Everything was still hazy and all the sounds kept echoing in your mind as your savior dragged you back to the shore. When you finally were on dry land, the man let you go and you collapsed on the ground to cough your lungs out because you had accidentally inhaled a little bit of water during the painfully slow ascent. It took some minutes to gather your strength as well as your wits to realize where you were, what had happened and that you were actually... alive.
You raised your head and saw the elf king standing only a couple of meters away from you. His clothes as well as hair were soaked and suddenly you realized that you had been saved by... him. You couldn’t believe it; Thranduil, the very person who had profoundly disapproved your decision to seek revenge, had jumped into the painfully cold water to save your life. It was something you had never expected him to do. The next thing you noticed was that the elven guards were escorting your mother and her guards to the shore. Thranduil took his sword from one of his guards and threatened your mother with it, his eyes filled with disgust and anger. “Lock them up” he commanded his own guards.
- Stop. you managed to say with a hoarse, fragile voice as you forced yourself to stand up. Every muscle in your body felt stiff and you would have loved to just rest on the ground for a moment but you knew that you had to stop the cold from spreading and killing you with hypothermia. Besides, you wanted to appear stronger than you actually were and therefore it was necessary to stand up… no matter how painful or difficult it was.
- My lady? Thranduil said and glanced at you. He noticed instantly that you were shivering violently and you most likely were barely holding onto your consciousness, on the verge of passing out anytime now.
- Let her go. you said and shifted your gaze from your mother to Thranduil who furrowed his eyebrows immediately.
- This woman tried to kill you! Thranduil exclaimed with a surprised tone. “Yes, I’m well aware of that” you mumbled and rubbed your throat that was aching very much. “She committed a serious crime of treason” the elf king stated firmly. You repeated your previous statement again but this time your voice broke down and you had to take a deep breath before continuing.
- There has been too much violence already. you said and then continued after inhaling very slowly as well as cautiously. "If ruling this realm is what you're obsessed about...” you said and paused to keep yourself together. What you were about to say was not the easiest thing to voice, considering that you had been obsessed with the idea of returning to the throne of your Eastern Realm after the days of your half-brother had been outnumbered. “…Then have it. It's yours" you added with a somewhat bitter, yet barely audible tone. Thranduil couldn't believe his ears; after everything you had done, after everything that had happened... you were just going to let it be.
- But mark my words. You'd better rule this realm well, mother. you stated and shifted your gaze back to your mother before continuing with a deep, threatening tone "Because if you don't, I will hear about it." You swallowed once as you fought the shivers that made you look weak and pathetic in the eyes of your mother as well as the mighty Elf King… or so you assumed.
- I promise I will not tolerate any misbehavior. you added with a slightly louder voice.
- And neither will I. Thranduil stated firmly and lowered his sword. “The people of this Eastern Realm will have the friendship of the Mirkwood elves, but you...” he continued and after making sure that your mother was paying attention, he finished his statement by adding “…You stand alone.”
Thranduil gestured his guards to release the queen as well as her men. You watched the traitors running away and soon disappearing into the darkness that covered the entire realm now that the moon was hiding behind thick clouds. You inhaled deeply, held your breath for a moment and then emptied your lungs entirely. As you exhaled a strong feeling of relief spread into your body and made you feel slightly lighter although you knew that your soul would be broken for a long time to come. Perhaps your soul would never be truly healed, maybe you were beyond the point of saving and changing the course of life. However, there was no other choice than to get on to a different path because there was nothing left for you here, in the Eastern Realm.
- So that's it? Was this all for nothing? Thranduil asked somewhat curiously although in your ears his voice sounded very judgmental.
- Yes, I suppose it was. you said, still staring at the hidden pathway that your mother had taken to return back to the fortress.
- But that is absurd! Thranduil exclaimed and scoffed.
- Perhaps, but the throne has been tarnished with violence, betrayal and greed. you replied and after a sorrow-filled sigh you added “I do not want it.” Thranduil rolled his eyes and ordered his men to get the horses ready. You stared at the tall Elf King and suddenly you got a terrible urge to make him know that you were aware that your actions made no sense and most likely the elf disapproved them, considering that you had insisted on taking this path in the first place. You cleared your throat and stated
- Listen, I know you do not approve my actions-
- Actually, I am rather proud of you, my lady. Thranduil admitted suddenly, interrupting you. Any other day he would have rather not confessed that you had actually made him proud… kind of… but he had figured that now it was his turn to be decent and to do the right thing… like you had. Although the king still disapproved that you had taken it so far before realizing that your actions had been foolish. So many hardships could have been avoided if you just had been smart enough to let it go sooner.
- What? you asked with deep disbelief in your voice. You couldn’t believe it! Thranduil was actually proud of you!
- In my opinion you made a wise decision. he spoke and summoned his elk.
- I cannot believe this. you chuckled and then added “The great Elf King actually approves my actions!”
- Stranger things have happened. Thranduil commented and when the huge elk appeared from the dark, surrounding forest, he smiled to it and called it closer.
- No, not really. you chuckled and rolled your eyes.
- Very well, my lady, let me rephrase it. Thranduil said and paused. He brushed the fur of his elk-friend with his long digits and then continued “I do not disapprove your actions this time.” Thranduil’s voice sounded slightly irritated and carried a hint of frustration, but you were able to hear an undertone of amusement in it as well.
- That's more like it. you commented with a smirk on your face.
- Come on, let's go home. Thranduil said and hopped on his elk. He offered his hand to you so he could pull you to sit in front of him, to make it easier and faster to ride home and also to keep you warm since your clothes were entirely soaked with the freezing cold water.
- Home. you scoffed and folded your arms as an involuntary and automated reaction. “Where is that exactly?” you asked bitterly and before Thranduil had a chance to comment, you stated “I have no home” with an equally bitter tone.
- Mirkwood, my lady. Mirkwood could be your home... Thranduil replied, still keeping his arm extended to you. “…If you'll let it be” he spoke surprisingly softly and this softness in his voice was something that you had not expected to hear… not tonight at least. Then again, the mighty Elf King had already stated that he was proud of you so you did not quite know whether you should or should not be surprised about anything anymore. You were just about to comment when Thranduil began firmly “However-“
- However... what? you asked with a somewhat defensive tone. You tried to keep your voice from breaking or trembling so much but it was getting impossible since the cold was creeping into your bones and making your body shake so much that it could be heard when you talked. You however did not want the elf to hear it and therefore you snapped your responses, making you sound defensive and almost like you had been attacking the king with the words.
- You will submit yourself to me and allow me to rule you. Thranduil responded calmly.
- To... rule me? you asked and shifted your gaze elsewhere.
- Yes, as your husband. the king said, keeping his eyes constantly fixed upon you.
- My... husband? you sighed, unable to believe what you had just heard and therefore questions filled your mind instantly; why on earth Thranduil was still talking about marriage? Why the elf insisted on marrying you? What did he want from you? To humiliate you some more perhaps? Had you not fallen too low already? Did he want to see you entirely defeated?
- That was the original plan, wasn't it? Thranduil asked and pulled his hand away since you clearly were not going to take it. You shifted your gaze back to the elf and stared at him with wide eyes, so speechless that the only thing you managed to say was a barely audible
- But-
- I think I have proved myself to you. the king stated and then added “Many times.” You swallowed once and folded your arms as a pathetic attempt to keep yourself a bit warmer. Thranduil however saw this gesture as a rejection or as a sign of defiance.
- I have been courteous and kind towards you, have I not? he asked or more like stated with a slightly annoyed tone. You stayed silent for a moment, trying to figure out what to say or do but the truth was that your head was a mess and therefore you were unable to come up with any other response than a blank stare. "Well? Thranduil asked in a demanding way, ripping you away from your thoughts.
- Yes you have, my lord. you sighed with a slightly irritated tone. You did not like to admit that the king had been very friendly towards you during the past years of your exile.
- So why do you treat me with such cruelty and coldness? he asked in return, his voice filled with hidden bitterness and confusion. Thranduil most likely had every right to feel confused as well as insulted because of your actions but your head was too messed up to tackle this topic right now. You just wanted to sort your thoughts up and rest for a moment.
- Can we talk about this later? you asked with a silent, exhausted tone.
- Always later. Thranduil scoffed and shook his head. He inhaled sharply and stated “You keep avoiding the subject because-“
- Oh I'm sorry, I almost drowned! you snapped and glared at the king high up on the elk.
- ..You're a coward. Thranduil continued with a pitiful and disgusted tone.
- Excuse me? you exclaimed so loudly that your throat ached and your voice broke down just as you said “me”.
- Yes, you would have died if I had not saved your life! Thranduil shouted while staring at you with deep anger in his eyes. You had probably never seen him this angry and this sudden burst of rage terrified you to your core.
- Do you think that I'm not aware of that? you asked bitterly and shifted your gaze elsewhere to the elves that were waiting for the sign from the king.
- It seems that you're not. Thranduil commented and commanded the elf to walk forward. You scoffed as you watched the huge animal and the king sitting on it getting slowly further away from you. “You foolish little girl” Thranduil mumbled to himself.
- How dare you to talk to me like that! you said, took a step forward as you were about to run to the elk, stop it and to challenge the Elf King to say what he wanted to say straight to your face. However you fell on the ground when your foot got stuck under a root because you were unable to see the lurking dangers due to the darkness. You cried in pain as your ankle got twisted a little and the hard ground greeted your bare hands, although it was your ego that got the biggest bruise; you had wanted to show Thranduil that you were not a little girl… but you had ended up falling on your face instead and it was embarrassing. You stayed on the ground for a moment fighting the tears and listening to the sound of the elves' footsteps getting further away. "I'm freezing cold and exhausted... I will just... rest here for a moment" you sighed and closed your eyes.
Thranduil got down from his massive elk when he heard you falling down somewhere behind him. He hurried to you, squatted and turned you around on your back after releasing your foot. You looked almost dead and that worried the elf king greatly but just as he was about to lift you up, you opened your eyes and gasped for air. It was dark but you could see Thranduil's form quite easily against the black night sky even though the world looked very blurry in your eyes.
- Will you get up or do I have to carry you? the king asked as he brushed your wet hair off your face. He removed the dead leaves from your hair one by one and studied you as you gained consciousness once more.
- Neither. I will just stay here for a moment. you sighed and stared through the handsome face of Thranduil into the surrounding darkness.
- Fine, stay then. Thranduil said and stood up. "Just close your eyes and let the death settle in" he spoke with a cold tone that made it sound like he had not cared at all whether you would survive the freezing night or not.
- Why did you save me if you're going to leave me anyway? you mumbled with a fragile tone. “Wouldn't it have been easier just to let me drown?” you asked bitterly and swallowed your tears. Yes, maybe death would have been a more merciful fate… to go on… leave this world behind. All the suffering… pain… coldness… all gone after few agonizing moments. Yes indeed, perhaps death would have been better than anything that this world had to offer.
- Maybe it is more amusing to see you wallow in self pity and then freeze to death. the king stated with an emotionless tone as he walked back to his elk.
Thranduil was pushing you and trying to provoke you, to light a flame of life inside you. He hoped that you would get angry at him and prove him wrong but this time you did not respond the way he hoped you to. He glanced over his shoulder and saw you laying on the ground on your back completely still. The sight was eerie and it made Thranduil's heart ache a little, which annoyed him because he did not want to feel sorry for you. Oh no, he did not want to feel sorry for you as long as you kept behaving like a foolish little girl, but then again… he felt sorry for you, there was no way to escape it, and there was a part of him that was constantly trying to come up with ways to make you feel better, which however made him feel irritated and slightly desperate at the same time.
Finally you groaned and forced yourself to sit up; you couldn’t let the arrogant elf win and therefore you had to try. You got on your knees and pushed yourself to stand even though your body felt numb and like there had been no strength left within you. You fought yourself up from the ground and shouted “Ha!” victoriously to show Thranduil and his men that you were not as weak as they were assuming you to be. You took a deep breath before taking the first step but the feeling of pride and victory were soon replaced with an agonizing pain when you took the first step and placed your weight on your injured leg.
Your ankle ached instantly when you put any weight on it and even though you tried to keep the pain hidden, you couldn't help letting out a small cry. The whimper drew the attention of the elf king back to you, although his attention had been on you the entire time, even when he had been looking elsewhere and walking further away from you. Thranduil turned around and saw you supporting yourself on a tree trunk with your eyes closed. The bark scratched your face but you were too tired and cold to care. The Elf King walked to you, so close that you could basically feel the warmth of his body surrounding you, luring you to throw yourself into his arms without further hesitation. He put his hand gracefully on your neck and felt the cold skin with his fingertips as he spoke softly “My lady.”
- Yes, Thranduil? you sighed with tears rolling on your cheeks almost constantly now.
- You seem to be in a great pain. the elf stated softly without arrogance in his voice.
- I have gone through worse, my lord. you mumbled, still holding onto the tree which was the only thing that was keeping you from falling back to the ground. Thranduil saw the traces of the tears and moved his hand from your neck to your cheek. He traced the delicate features of your chin, jaw and cheek all the way up to your eyebrow with his fingertips while silently reciting old spells in his mind to make you abandon your concerns and stubbornness.
- I ask for a permission to carry you, lady (Y/N). he asked, talking so close that you could feel his warm breath on your cold lips. “Alright” you sighed and pulled yourself away from the tree trunk. You felt the king placing his strong arm behind your back and the other under your knee and then he lifted you up, just like that… like you had weighed nothing more than a small child. He kept you tightly against his chest and encouraged you to put your arm behind his neck. Thranduil walked to his elk, commanded the huge animal to kneel down and when it did, the elf hopped on it, still holding you. Then he commanded the elk to get back up and follow the guards.
- Are you comfortable? Warm? the elf asked after a couple of minutes, still holding you so closed to him that you were able to hear his heart beating strongly, full of life… such a wonderful sound. You could also feel his chest rising and falling under your cheek, the relaxing motion that was constantly luring you to drift away.
- Yes. you sighed, almost making no sound at all.
- You need to rest. Thranduil stated. It was obvious that you were exhausted and on the verge of passing out anytime now. “Just close your eyes and fall asleep” he spoke quietly into your ear and started to sing an elvish lullaby with such soft voice that you were the only person who was able to hear him which made the moment very intimate and almost… affectionate.
Thranduil commanded his elk to gallop after he had made sure that you had fallen asleep deeply. He kept you warm with his large cloak and held you tightly against him so his body heat would prevent the hypothermia from settling in. The elf king and his guards rode swiftly across the flat lands that separated the Eastern Realm from Mirkwood and when they reached the edge of the elven forest it was getting dark again. However the elves knew that Mirkwood had become a dangerous place to travel during the night so the king ordered a camp to be made near a cottage that served as a guard post to the elves that guarded the eastern border.
Thranduil ordered two of his guards to make the cottage ready and lowered you on the ground to sleep, still wrapped into the cloak. You had been sleeping quite restlessly during the long journey and towards the end of the day you had become feverish which had made you shiver violently and almost constantly. The guard started a fire in the fireplace of the cottage while the other arranged a bucket of clean water and made the bed ready for the king.
When everything was ready the elf king carried you into the cottage and lay you on the bed. He closed the curtains of the cabin and after one of the guards had brought him some dinner, he told his men not to disturb him before the sunrise. Thranduil walked to the bed and pressed his palm against your forehead. It was burning hot and suddenly he realized that your clothes were still wet and it was no wonder why you had gotten the fever.
He took your boots off and then started undressing your clothes one by one as delicately as he could, just so you wouldn't wake up. He opened the clasps and buttons of your coat, pullet you up to sit and to lean on him as he slid the coat off your shoulders. Then he loosened the lacing of your dress with precise and assertive fingers, careful not to touch your skin and after opening the ribbons he lay you down on the bed again so he was able to pull the dress off.
Thranduil slid your dress down to your ankles, slowly exposing your bruised skin and when he had thrown the soaked gown to the floor, he suddenly stopped his actions. He decided to take a small timeout and therefore he stood up, picked up your clothes from the floor and hung them near the fireplace to dry. Then he returned to the bed to decide should he just tuck you in or proceed further. Thranduil battled with himself whether he should or should not undress your undergarments as well. He knew that you most likely disapproved his actions but then again, your undergarments were also soaked and as long as you wore wet clothes, you wouldn't get warm, not properly at least… and to suffer from high fever was dangerous, possibly life-threatening.
Thranduil cleared his throat and after taking a long, deep breath he started to untie the lacing of your undergarments. His hands were shaking as he slowly exposed your skin that was covered with nasty purple bruises. It was clear that the queen’s guards had not been very gentle when they had dragged you out from the fortress of your family. When the Elf King had undressed you completely he traced the bruises with his fingertips just barely touching while reciting old elvish healing spells. Your skin was burning hot and after finishing the spells, Thranduil pressed his hand on your heart, placed the other hand on your forehead and closed his eyes. He focused his mind, all his will-power to share his life-force with you. Finally after many minutes you started breathe more strongly and a healthy blush reappeared on your cheeks.
Thranduil pulled the covers over you but instead of starting his dinner he lifted a chair next to the bed and sat silently staring at your sleeping form. He would have wanted to brush your hair but he did not dare to do so, so he decided to eat his dinner before getting some sleep. It had been a long couple of days and the elf king was also exhausted… however the king had decided never to let you see that also he got exhausted sometimes… just like he did not want you to see him afraid or terrified.
You had disturbing dreams. Dreams where you drowned over and over again, where you were betrayed by your mother as well as your brother... a dream without Thranduil. The dream played those two moments of betrayal on a never ending loop and suddenly you sat up, covered with cold sweat and panting erratically. Your head was spinning and your body ached as the violent shivers ran along your spine and spread all over your body. The cottage was almost completely dark since the fire in the fireplace had almost died; there were only a couple of coals still glowing a little.
You rubbed your arms and focused on your breathing as you tried to scan the room and figure out if you knew where you were but it was impossible to make any sense from the shadows and dark corners that seemed to threaten you from every direction. Then you panicked. You decided to leave the bed but before you even managed to throw your legs over the edge of the bed, you heard a familiar assertive voice telling you to stay in bed,
Thranduil, who had been sleeping in the chair next to the bed, had woken up to the sound of your panic-filled gasps and when he had noticed you showing signs of leaving the bed he had stood up, taken a step closer and then sat down on the edge of the bed. He placed his hand on your forehead and gasped when he realized that your fever was now even worse than before. The elf king opened the clasps of his robe, slid the garment off his shoulders and after taking off his boots and trousers, he walked to the other side of the bed, sat on the edge and then lay down next to you.
- Shhh, lay down. he said and extended his hand to you. You looked around with a confused expression on your face, hesitating for a moment as you tried to figure out what you should do, but then you decided to lay down because sitting up was making your head hurt and the way the world was just spinning around you made you feel nauseous. This, not-sitting-up, made you feel slightly better instantly, which was a big relief. Next you felt a warm body pressing against you and a pair of strong arms wrapping around you. You however were too exhausted to resist or even to object so you let the person, who was laying in the bed with you, to turn you on your side and to hold you tightly against his firm body. Thranduil sighed when he noticed that you were not going to fight him. He wanted to sleep as well and to be honest he would have been too tired to stay firm and assertive if you had pushed him away. But you didn’t so he started to sing the same elvish lullaby with a deep, barely audible voice into your ear and slowly you drifted away, feeling safe and warm.
This time you had no nightmares. You slept peacefully until the sun rose above the trees and the cottage filled with light. By the morning your fever had subsided almost completely and your mind was clear again. You had no recollection of last night or about the previous day to be exact and to be honest, the events of the current week felt very surreal. Suddenly you realized that you were not alone in the bed. Oh no, you could hear someone breathing behind you, you could feel the body... the arm keeping you firmly against...
You turned around and held your breath for a moment when you were greeted with the sight of the sleeping elf king... sleeping... shirtless elf king. You took a quick look under the blanket and gasped. You were in the same bed with the sleeping... naked elf king... and the second glance confirmed something that you had not even dared to think about; you were naked as well. At that very moment you felt panic taking over your body and the shock made you freeze completely still. What had happened? Why were you naked? Okay, your clothes had been soaked... so it kind of made sense... but why was Thranduil naked?