Loki / Reader (5)
- Oh, King Loki! you exclaimed when you saw Loki strolling in the garden of the palace. You grabbed the long hem of your dress and picked up your pace, ending up basically running to the handsome, young king. “What a wonderful surprise!” you continued after reaching him and catching your breath. You felt your cheeks turning red when Loki turned to look at you but this time you were not greeted with a smile like you usually were.
It was a beautiful autumn late afternoon; the sky was clear and you hoped the night to be clear as well because you had been planning to invite Loki to admire the stars with you. The autumn was going to turn into a winter soon and then it was not going to be so pleasant to stay out, unlike now. You had been practicing the invitation in front of the mirror the entire day since it was only last night when you had decided to finally make your move and confess the feelings you carried in your heart for Loki. You were nervous and therefore you decided to break the ice with some casual small talk.
- Lady (Y/N). Loki spoke with a slightly annoyed tone. You however were too caught up in your own excitement and nervousness, battling to manage an army of butterflies that were flying around recklessly in your stomach and making you feel dizzy as well as a little nauseous.
- Such a beautiful day, isn't it? you asked or more like stated and smiled widely. Loki however did not comment. He just stood in front of you in silence, dressed to impress in his black-and-green –colored clothes that were decorated with golden details. He had a calm, yet pretty serious expression on his face that was framed with his raven black hair that made his eyes look mesmerizing. “May I join you for a stroll?” you asked when you finally managed to gather your thoughts. You knew that you were blushing, partially from running across the garden to get to Loki and partially from the presence of the gorgeous man.
- I am not in the mood. Loki replied and made a gesture with his hand. The gesture was supposed to dismiss you so he would be left alone with his thoughts, but you did not notice the graceful motion at all.
- But it is such a lovely day. you continued with a cheerful tone. “Surely it would lift up your spirit” you added because Loki seemed like something was bothering him very deeply. You hated to see Loki like that, upset and troubled, and you had managed to convince yourself that you would surely be able to turn his mood upside down if you tried hard enough. You knew Loki’s history and you knew that for so long he had felt that no one cared about him and therefore you had made up your mind that you would always be there for him… no matter what. This enthusiasm made you look often a bit silly… overly curious and… naïve. Almost like you were incapable of being serious… or sad… however you were a person who always tried to look at the bright side of the matter and to dance with light feet even through the gloomiest rainy days.
- I found a portal yesterday. you stated with a slightly mysterious tone because Loki was not saying anything and the silence was getting too long to handle.
- I do not care. Loki mumbled with an irritated tone. He nodded at the diplomats who walked by as he was engaged into a conversation with you. It was a beautiful day indeed and therefore there were many important people enjoying their afternoon strolls in the garden.
- A portal to Midgard... you spoke, chuckled a little and added “I presume” with a thoughtful tone. “I cannot say for sure though since I did not dare to go through” you continued with excitement in your voice. You knew that Loki was fascinated about other realms and portals and therefore you hoped that it would be a topic that he would like to talk about and if he got himself lost into an interesting conversation, a debate perhaps, he would surely forget whatever it was that was bothering him so deeply. Oh yes, you had noticed, you always noticed… well, Loki did not exactly hide it when he was upset… he was a kind of diva that way… However you never asked Loki directly because you had a feeling that you and him, even though you were friends and had been friends for many-many years, you were not that close. You were not his confidant, which was a matter that you had decided to change someday soon.
- I am not interested. Loki hissed and glared at you. The cold look made you feel more nervous and therefore you started to blabber even more.
- Although I am greatly fascinated about the mortal realm. you spoke, desperately trying to hide the ever-growing nervousness that was creating small cracks to your cheerful exterior. “I wonder what it is like” you commented and chuckled a little. “They’re not that different, I’m sure… The people” you added and brushed a stray lock of your hair behind your ear. Loki however rolled his eyes. This eye-roll was not exactly the outcome that you had hoped for; you had tried to flirt with him subtly but for some reason he was not playing ball… or even flattered about it, which had been the bare minimum that you had hoped… him to be at least flattered about your affections.
- The sound of your voice is giving me a headache. Loki stated with a somewhat loud voice and you noticed that the people around you turned to stare at you and the king. “Please, just shut up!” he exclaimed just as you were about to say something. You chuckled nervously as you felt the gazes burning holes into your cloak. You swallowed once and spoke the first thing that came to your mind, which was completely opposite with what you had stated before
- I imagine the life to be so different there-
- Then do me a favor and go there! Loki exclaimed and raised his hand on his temple. He rubbed his forehead with his fingers and closed his eyes as the expression of physical pain took over his calm face.
- I wouldn't know anyone. you commented with a casual tone. “My life is here in the cour-“ you added but got interrupted by Loki who asked “In the court of Asgard?” You stared at him with wide open eyes and a confused look on your face. You flashed a nervous smile before taking a quick look at the surrounding dignitaries and then sighed “Yes”.
- The only reason why I tolerate your presence here in the court is that your parents happen to be important people. Loki hissed. You felt his words hitting you like they had been physical arrows and for a moment you were unable to breathe. “You are irritating, childish, shallow...” Loki listed while glaring at you with a stare that made your blood freeze and your breath getting stuck into your throat.
- And you keep running into me accidentally although I know... Loki stated and shook his head with a mocking smile on his face. “Oh, I know that there is nothing accidental about these meetings” he continued and his face turned serious again, his eyes filled with disgust and pity. You stared at the king silently, struggling to keep your exterior from cracking into thousand pieces, but the truth was that every word, every glare and every hateful tone crushed your heart into tiny pieces as the reality sank deeper into you; Loki hated you… the man you loved… hated you.
- If your parents' support was not vital for my rule, I would have banished you already. he stated loudly and took a long look from your head to toes.
- Oh. you sighed because there was nothing more you could have said without bursting into tears.
- I have never met anyone as unpleasant as you. Loki scoffed and after laughing at you with mockery in his voice, he continued by saying “So you and your portals do not interest me...” and glared at you like you had been a worthless piece of trash. “…Unless it is you walking through that portal and never coming back.” he added. You still stared at him, unable to even blink.
- Here you cause nothing but shame to your family. Loki scoffed and shook his head. He wanted to get an honest response out from you because in his eyes you were a somewhat simple and shallow person who saw the world through pink shades. He wanted to provoke you to see what was your breaking point and if there even was an independent woman behind that ladylike exterior of yours. In Loki’s eyes it looked like there was nothing behind the good manners, beautiful face and the calm expression. He had never been so wrong in his life.
- Please excuse me... you mumbled, turned to look at the people who were staring at you with disapproving faces and then you sighed “I...” before bowing and turning away. You were as pale as a ghost as you kept hanging onto the last bits of your ladylike exterior.
You walked swiftly through the garden and sneaked into your own chamber without being seen by the guards or the servants. When you got into your room you locked the door behind you and got a bag from the closet that was in the far-corner of your chamber. You opened it wide open and lay it on the bed, walked back to the closet and took a couple of your favorite dresses off from the hangers. Then you shoved them into the bag and closed it with one forceful action. You had to go home. It had been ages since you had seen your parents and now that the king was clearly upset with you, you just had to take some distance.
It was no secret that your parents had arranged you to live in the court because they had hoped that Loki, now the king of Asgard, would notice you and make you his wife and since you had fallen in love with him almost instantly. Yes, you had fallen in love with him when he had been the prince of the realm, it had been before Thor had decided to pursue other responsibilities than the throne of Asgard. It was a funny thing, though, how the tables had been turned and even though Odin had left his throne to Thor, it had been Loki who had eventually accepted the great responsibility and said goodbye to the life of adventures.
Anyway, you had fallen in love with Loki a long time ago… but you had been so blind; you had mistaken every long look and courteous smile that Loki had given you as a sign of mutual affection but you had been wrong. Yes, so wrong and now you felt like a fool because you had basically been throwing yourself into his arms by arranging small, seemingly accidental get-togethers with him, sometimes just running into each other in the garden... or... in the library... and you had basically made sure that the young king knew how you felt for him, although you had never confessed your feelings aloud. Your feelings had however been written all over your face as well as present in every detail of every action you had taken during the past twenty nine years that you had been living in the palace. It was not a long time… in the eyes of a mortal maybe but you were basically immortal so years just slipped away and no one really even counted them… not after turning hundred and becoming an adult at least. But… it was a long time to wait… to wait and hope that the feelings of the man you loved very deeply would grow to match yours. However… that dream had been shattered now as you had been publically humiliated… in front of… everyone.
You put on your travel-cloak and stepped out from your private chamber. It was getting late and the sun had already set although the skyline was still panted with colors of orange, light green and pink as the last rays of sun kissed the clouds that had appeared into the far horizon. You knew that you were expected to dine with Loki very soon but there was no way you could have tolerated any more humiliation... and you certainly couldn't keep your brave face with a polite smile decorating your delicate features for much longer. Therefore you had to go home for a day or two... maybe longer... Yes... definitely longer.
You walked out from the palace, through the courtyard and headed towards the road that led into a town a little bit further away from the city. That was where your parents were living in their fine estate. The road led through a forest to the foot of a tall mountain and then took a sharp turn right. If you continued forward, you ended up to the mountains and if you turned left you would find yourself at the portal you had discovered earlier. You were getting nearer to the road when you noticed a familiar person walking towards you. It was Thor who was returning from his adventures. You and Thor had been very good friends for many-many years but he was not really your type and therefore you had never thought about him that way, even though your parents had tried to set you up with him when you had been younger… when it had looked like Thor was going to be the king of Asgard.
But no… you had never felt butterflies for Thor even though he was a handsome warrior… a gentleman, although a little bit of a ladies’ man every once in a while… especially after a great, victorious battle. Loki however was more your type; he was the brain when Thor was the muscle and even though you might have seemed like a person who did not use her brain too much, which was a wrong observation, you had always felt more connected with Loki. Loki enjoyed reading books and having deeply philosophic conversations while Thor liked more fighting and celebrating. Thor was also easier to approach and Loki usually kept his distance… which was what you did as well; you just hid behind your ladylike role… unfortunately this role had tricked Loki into a belief that you were no match for him because you had nothing between your ears but air. And again, he couldn’t have been more wrong.
- Lady (Y/N)! Thor exclaimed when he recognized you. He sounded delighted and you would have given basically anything to get the same reaction from the younger brother. You hid your troubles behind a smile and chuckled as genuinely as you could.
- My Lord, Thor Odinson. you said and dropped a curtsy.
- No need for such manners, dear friend! Thor exclaimed and gave you a brief, friendly hug. “It has been ages!” he added and took a quick look from your head to toes to get an idea what you were doing outside the palace at this late hour.
- Yes, it indeed has. you replied and then continued by stating with a cheerful tone “You have been on your adventures.”
- True-true, and now I am back. Thor answered.
- For a couple of days? you asked casually.
- Perhaps longer. he replied and then shifted his focus from your smiling face to the bag that you were carrying. Yes, the bag that you were trying to hide under your cloak. “I was hoping to catch up...” he said with a thoughtful tone and after taking a quick breath he continued “…But it seems that you are on an adventure of your own.”
- Oh? you asked with a puzzled tone. “The bag...” Thor said and pointed at the heavy-looking bag. You suddenly remembered where you were going and especially why you were going there and after a short hesitation you chuckled nervously and replied “Ah... I am just going to visit my parents.” Thor scanned your expression sharply and it made you feel almost naked as you stood in front of him.
- I have not seen them since I moved into the palace. you continued, although you tried to keep yourself from blabbering, which was what you did when you got nervous.
- And that is the reason why you're leaving? Thor asked curiously. He was clearly questioning your sincerity.
- Yes, I miss them dearly. you replied instantly without further thinking. Well, it was true… maybe not the whole truth behind your sudden visit but… it was not a lie; you missed your family and you had not seen them for such a long time.
- I see... Thor said. You felt relieved because for a moment it looked like Thor was not going to ask you more questions… however your relief was shortly lived when he added “However I have a feeling that there is something else.” His tone was suspicious and you knew that you were not off the hook yet.
- Why? you asked, hoping that you would dodge the follow-up-queries by answering him with a question, almost like you had questioned his questions.
- You seem... Thor said with a thoughtful voice and after thinking about the correct adjective he said “…Upset.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head because you wanted to make Thor assume that you thought that his questions were ridiculous. Thor however saw behind your role for some reason and therefore he asked “What is it?” You responded by denying everything which caused Thor to ask a couple of times again until you had to admit that something was indeed troubling you.
- It is nothing too serious. you replied and swallowed your private feelings so you wouldn’t break down in front of the God of Thunder. Losing your composure in front of Thor was not as bad as cracking in front of the God of Mischief but you were too tired of embarrassments for one day and therefore you had decided firmly not to cry.
- Did my brother do something? Thor asked.
- No. you replied and sniffled once. “I have been a fool and now he is displeased with me” you explained and shifted your gaze to the sky that was now turning dark and filling up with stars.
- And therefore I thought that it is for the best to take a small holiday from the life in the court. you stated as you shifted your focus back to Thor. “Besides... I miss my family.” you added firmly. Thor kept scanning your expression for a moment silently. He saw the small cracks on your calm exterior but he decided not to ask any further questions. It was not the right time.
- Very well. he said and bowed briefly. “Would you like me to talk with my brother?” he asked suddenly.
- No! you exclaimed immediately with a terrified look in your eyes. Then you realized that your expression had changed and after a quick inhale you smiled and corrected yourself by saying “I mean, please, don't. I will deal with it myself when I'm ready.” Thor had been completely caught off guard when you had exclaimed and the sudden burst of emotion… or… fear… was making him worried. Thor decided to trust you despite the unnerving feeling bothering him and therefore he only asked
- If he asks where you have gone-
- Please tell him that I went to see my family. you asked politely, although you accidentally interrupted him.
- Very well, Lady (Y/N). Thor answered with a polite smile. “I must say, however, that I do not like this” he stated and after scanning your face for a moment he continued “You are clearly upset... shaken even-“
- It is nothing, my Lord. I am just tired. you replied and held the strap of your bag even tighter in your grip.
- Are you sure? Thor asked with a concerned tone.
- Most certain. you replied with a nod that was accompanied by a faint smile.
- Well, in that case, I wish you a relaxing holiday. he said after weighing your response and then he bowed deeply. “Farewell” he said to which you replied simply by sighing “Goodbye”.
Thor took a final glance at you and then continued walking towards the palace. You stayed standing still for a moment and then shouted “Hey Thor! Was the town to the right or... to the left?” Thor turned to look at you and shouted “Turn right!” as he waved at you with his right hand. “Right!” you shouted and then sighed "Right". After this you watched Thor heading towards the courtyard and then, after he had turned behind a corner of the outer wall of the palace, you continued walking forward towards the forest that separated the city from the small town where you had been born and raised.
When you arrived to the crossroads you realized that you couldn't actually go home either, because you had brought shame to your family and if they found out that you had fallen out from the king's good graces, they would surely tell you to get out as well. You stood still, silently staring at the crossroads as you tried to figure out what to do. Your head was spinning and you felt like you were about to break into tiny pieces. No, you couldn’t go home. Most likely your parents had heard rumor already. Therefore you turned... left.
You walked to the portal that you had found not too long time ago, took a deep breath and stepped through; nothing that was on the other side could possibly be worse than what was waiting for you in Asgard. Going through the portal felt like falling into a giant black hole. You kept spinning around uncontrollably as you were taken from the realm of Asgard to… somewhere else.
However suddenly you were on the other side… in a forest that smelled completely different. It was dark and cold… so much colder than it had been in Asgard… and for the first time in your life you felt… lonely; you were all alone… but just as you were about to swallow your pride and return to Asgard, the rocks that you were standing on started to slide down on the steep hill and you lost your balance. You fell down and rolled further and further away from the portal… spinning around, hitting rocks and trees as you rolled… until you hit your head and lost the grasp of your consciousness. You were alone, unconscious, somewhere in a different realm and the only person who had seen you leaving thought that you had gone to visit your parents.