James Norrington / Reader - Sad-Bittersweet Ending
Suddenly your dreams turned dark and violent; you were fighting with your father but this time instead of stabbing you he managed to stab James who then died in your arms. In the dream you tried to stop the bleeding with your hands but it got very obvious when he started to cough blood that he was not going to survive. You tried to convince James that he was going to be just fine as you pressed the wound, feeling the warm, red liquid gushing out and forming a pool of blood under his dying body, staring into his hazel eyes as life left them and suddenly… he tensed up his muscles, gasped once and died. You started to scream and cry violently, feeling his body getting limp and cold.
You opened your eyes and gasped for air. The room was dark and silent but soon you noticed a little bit light in the corridor, getting stronger as a sound of footsteps got louder. After few seconds a man in his long white night-shirt appeared at the door of your room with candelabra and stormed in without any delays. James, who had been given the room right next to yours, had heard you screaming in your dreams, lighted three candles and left his bed immediately. He put the candelabra on the table and sat beside your bed. He helped you to sit, wrapped his arms around you and after you had calmed down a little he helped you to drink some water.
- I watched you die. I couldn’t save you. you explained with a voice that was filled with sorrow and shock.
- But you did. James spoke softly and brushed your hair with slow, comforting movements. “It was only a nightmare” he added as he felt your body shaking a little against him.
- What if I didn’t? you stated and drew back to look at James’ face. You had to see his expression when you said the following “What if my father succeeded? What we’re dead but we just do not realize it?” James looked at you with an expression that revealed to you that he did not quite know what to say. Yes, he had been hurt too since your father had managed to cut him with your sword quite many times but… none of his cuts had been lethal… but of course… he couldn’t be entirely certain because it all had happened so fast… and parts of it were blurry even for James.
- You see, even you cannot say for certain. you sobbed and gasped between sniffles.
- I am quite certain. James stated and pressed a kiss on your forehead. “Besides, would it matter?” he asked and paused to say a soft “Shhh” to calm you down. “As long as we’re both here… I don’t really care” he spoke against your forehead that was covered with cold sweat. You snuggled closer and hid your face into the crook of his neck.
- Will you stay with me? you asked, or more like pleaded after a moment, expecting James to refuse your request based on his manners but for your surprise James smiled against your forehead and whispered “Yes” without hesitation. “Thank you” you sighed and lay down with James’ help. You rolled on your right side and waited James to lay down as well. He blew off the candles, walked on the other side of the bed and lay down next to you, getting under the same large blanket. Then he rolled on his side to face you and searched your hand in the darkness.
- I am right here. he spoke and tangled his fingers with you. “Try to sleep. You’ll heal faster if you sleep” he stated softly and got a little bit closer, slid his hand up on your arm and finally, after caressing your cheek for a moment, he placed his hand on your back to hold you close.
The rest of the night you slept quite peacefully. You still had some disturbing dreams but this time no one died and you felt safe as well as protected as you faced dangers together with James. Then you woke up early in the morning as the darkness started to melt away into a new day. You were still sleeping face to face with James and you realized that this was the first time you were actually sleeping with him. Yes, when you had spent the night with him on your old ship neither of you had actually been able to sleep and then the next time you had met you had spent the night in the cold, humid cell.
James looked very handsome in the gentle morning light, his features were not shadowed by any worries like before and this time he looked calm and peaceful. He had long, dark eyelashes that framed his soulful eyes, strong eyebrows that made him look very stern and assertive when he furrowed them but now… now his face was completely relaxed and he looked tranquil. He was still sound asleep, breathing slowly and sometimes even smiling a little and therefore you were absolutely certain that he was having pleasant dreams.
You rolled on your back and inhaled slowly as you listened to the sound of James’ peaceful breathing that made you feel calm as well. You thought about your life, right from the start all the way to this very moment and you felt… strange… unreal in a way. You were happy… and sad at the same time because so much had happened; you were happy that James was here with you and he was not going anywhere, he indeed was the light that would guide you through the dark times and you were excited about the future that you would face together with him. However you were sad that you had lost a part that you had admired about yourself, even though you had lost it while defending something more valuable; love. Yes, you had lost your innocence, in a way, by taking a live and you were slightly worried that you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself now.
Then you turned your head to look at James, who was still sleeping peacefully and completely unaware of the self-doubt that you were trying to process in your mind. However the longer you stared at him, the less guilty you felt because it was not like you had had plenty of options to choose from, oh no, quite opposite actually; you had had exactly two options, option one, to let the man that you loved very deeply die… or option two, defend him to whatever end. You had not felt happy for doing what you had done and if there had been even a slightest chance to avoid it, you would have chosen differently.
However you knew that the guilt would haunt you for a long time, despite the fact that James had told you that he still loved you, no matter what. Hearing him say so meant the world to you but you still feared that he had said so just to make you feel better. He after all had been very stern and unambiguous about it and this made you worry that he would change his opinion about you as soon as you had recovered from your injury. You after all did not know James that well. Oh no, you did not know him at all; you had spent that one week with him, going out on strolls and dinners, then you had left… met again… departed ways, ran into each other in Port Royal and… then you had left. Now he was here, sleeping next to you… but the fact was that you did not really know him at all.
Had he really changed so much or were you just blinded by your own hopeful mind? Yes, you hoped nothing more that he had sought you out because he loved you… but the more you thought about it, the more you feared that there was a possibility that this was just part of some kind of plan to get his life back together. He after all had lost his career and you knew all too well that he valued it above anything else. You and he were the same that way; you had not been ready to abandon your duties for a love affair because you had understood that there were other things in life to consider, not just you and your desires.
- Good morning. James said finally after staring at you silently for many minutes. You had looked so thoughtful, completely lost inside your head that he had not dared to disturb you. Now however you recoiled instantly and turned to look at him with a smile on your face… although the smile carried a deep hidden sorrow in it.
- Morning. you said and found his hand under the blanket. You squeezed it tightly and shifted your gaze back to the ceiling again as you listened to the sounds of the house waking up.
- Where were you? James asked softly because your smile faded away, leaving you with the same thoughtful and troubled expression.
- Right here, next to you. you replied and smiled reassuringly. James however sensed that something was… off. Therefore he put his hand on your jaw and guided you to look at him as he spoke softly
- Physically, yes… but mentally-
- Please do not ask me questions I cannot answer. you replied and interrupted him.
- Are you thinking about your father? he asked cautiously, clearly hoping that his question wouldn’t upset you. The truth was that yes, you were in fact thinking about your father but that was not all; you were secretly suspecting that James had some hidden motives, agendas and reasons to jump into your life so suddenly. Sure it was possible that he had been dismissed but it was also possible that he had been sent to capture you. If that was indeed so, it would surely break your heart beyond repair. And then of course there was the looming grief of losing your father… although you had basically lost him a long time ago.
- I must bury him. you stated, incapable of escaping James’ eyes that were studying your expressions and reading you all the time almost like you had been an open book.
- I actually already… James said and then, after a brief pause explained “The tropical heat… and we did not know when you’d wake up”. James felt bad for burying your father without you because for a moment you stared at him like he had stolen your father from you. “We couldn’t wait, I’m sorry” he said and brushed your cheek with his thumb.
- I understand. you said and smiled briefly. “You did the right thing” you added and nodded reassuringly. The look on James’ face changed immediately from apologetic to relieved and he even smiled a little which made him look very handsome, cute even. He had such a charming smile, somewhat boyish in a way… just adorable and engaging. Just the kind that you hoped to see every day for the rest of your life… the kind that made you feel better instantly, at least a little better.
- Where did you bury him? you asked with a slightly shaky voice.
- I was told that he had wanted to be buried into the sea, so I respected that wish. James answered and leaned closer to press a kiss on your forehead because he could read grief in your eyes.
- That is what he wanted. you said and closed your eyes as he pressed his lips against your forehead. You were silent for a moment, just laying next to each other with your eyes closed and listening to each other breathing. Soon there were footsteps in the corridor; it was the maid who had come to see if you were already awake, but she saw you and James laying in bed, seemingly sleeping and therefore she closed the door of your room to block the sounds of the house so they wouldn’t disturb you. You after all needed all the sleep and rest you could get so you would heal faster.
- The code is not mine, you know. you said after being silent for almost twenty minutes. “It is my father’s” you added and a tear fell from the outer corner of your eye. It rolled down across the area between your cheek and temple to your pillow and was immediately followed by another one. “Oh?” James commented and opened his eyes.
- Yes. He taught me everything I believe in. you spoke and then added “You would have liked him”. Your tone was filled with grief and sorrow when you continued with a soft voice “A long time go.”
You couldn’t remember if you had explained everything to James; how your mother had died and how it had initiated a change in your father which had eventually led him to be the man that he had become, a drunk… and a murderer… a greedy man with no morals or sanity… But your father had been once a good man and you wanted James to know it so you told him your father’s story, although you kept it brief and avoided telling him too many details because the more you pushed yourself to recall the man your father had been, the nearer the grief sneaked.
- Your father raised you well, (Y/N). He will always live in you. James said and pressed a soft kiss on your lips. “And you will honor him by honoring his code” he added, speaking against your lips and brushing the tears off your cheeks with his fingertips. However the statement did not make you feel better, quite on the contrary actually although you knew that James had meant his declaration to empower you and to bring you comfort.
You knew that the code that you had, your father’s code, was your link to your father and as long as you honored it, you would always have a piece of him in your life… but… why did you feel like you had failed him then? Why did you feel like you had failed James as well? Surely there had been some other way to handle the situation… for example if you had told James to get off the ship… to escape so there wouldn’t have been a need to defend him. But you had just been so caught up in the moment, feeling so righteous and proud… that you had wanted to show them, both James and your father, that you were capable of holding your ground. You had wanted to show James that you were able to protect him and you had wanted to show your father that you had grown stronger than him and become an adult who made her own decisions.
You however kept these thoughts as a secret and locked them deep behind your seemingly happy exterior. You were happy of course and you loved the fact that James was very enthusiastic about the wedding; he made plans and arrangements, took care of everything so you were able to concentrate on your recovery. As the days passed you decided to abandon piracy and embrace legal trading instead. You made James your first captain and visited the spot at the open sea where your father had been buried. This gave you closure.
As the weeks turned into a couple of months you stared finally feeling better and you were able to trust James entirely. You had never told him that but for the first month you had been constantly looking over your shoulder, basically expecting red-coats to jump behind the corner but now… now that you had been married with James for one month and half, you finally allowed yourself to let your suspicions go and to concentrate on building a happy life with James… as his wife.
One sunny evening you were out in the garden of your house. The house had been built on a hill that had a cliff, a long sudden drop into the sea, just at the edge of the garden. You were standing in the garden, staring at the horizon as you tried to see if your ship, the new one that had been given to you after wrecking the previous one to the rocks just outside Port Royal, was returning from its latest sailing. However there were no ships sailing nearby which made you slightly worried. Then you shifted your gaze down to the private harbor and noticed a familiar-looking ship anchored right next to the pier.
- The Interceptor! you exclaimed and stormed in to the house to find James… and after a moment of running around you found him, talking with Gillette in the sitting room. You however backed away behind a corner and stayed there to listen to their conversation even though you knew that you should have probably escaped already… but you had to know… you had to… know… if James had anything to do with this.
Norrington had been on an evening stroll when he had noticed Gillette and his men walking towards him from the harbor. When Norrington had seen Gillette and his men, he had known instantly that Gillette had ordered someone to follow Norrington in secret. This was exactly what Gillette had done because he had known that Norrington would surely try to seek you out. Then after finding out the location of your private home-island, the spy had sailed back to Port Royal to sell his information to Gillette who had promised to pay a pouch of gold coins for a map that would guide Captain Gillette and his men to the secret hideaway.
Norrington had cursed silently and tried to come up with a plan to escape so he could run to the house to warn you but Gillette had noticed him before Norrington had managed to jump off the road into the jungle that was between the house and the road that led from the harbor, up the hill to the fine mansion that was your childhood home. “Not so fast, Norrington!” Gillette had said and then ordered his men to point their muskets at Norrington. “They will shoot if you’ll try anything funny” he had added and Norrington had known that he wouldn’t do you any good dead so he had raised his hands as a sign of surrendering and walked to the house with Gillette and his army. Gillette had told him on the way that they had seized your ship and sank it with the crew. “No mercy for pirates” he had stated.
Norrington had tried to explain to Gillette that there was nothing illegal in what you were doing but Gillette had just stated that he did not believe that a pirate could just change like that. “Once a pirate, always a pirate” he had said when he had stepped into your house with his crew following Norrington like a shadow. They had walked into the sitting room that had big windows into the garden and soon Gillette had seen you storming in with a terrified look on your face. He chuckled a little silently while Norrington was pouring him a glass of wine as Norrington tried to buy a little bit more time. The truth was that Norrington was shocked and did not know what to do. He had expected Gillette to give up once Norrington had been exposed and dismissed but instead of giving up and letting Norrington to live his own life, Gillette had actually decided to hunt him down to get to you.
- I must say, Norrington, that we wouldn’t have found this place without you. Gillette stated with a loud voice after he had seen you disappearing behind the corner, however he assumed that you had stayed eavesdropping… he was actually counting on it. Norrington cleared his throat without saying anything because he had not noticed you at all. He was just busy with the drinks, trying to come up with a proper plan and trying to keep his wits together while he could feel the eyes of the ten armed soldiers staring at his back. He was nervous but he did not want it to show, however his hands were shaking and he almost spilled the wine.
- Yes, would have been impossible indeed. I knew I could count on you. Gillette continued and took the glass from Norrington when he offered it to the new Captain. “What?” Norrington asked with a confused, barely audible tone because he found himself completely baffled and unable to concentrate on what Gillette was saying… the lies that he was stating as truth… Why was he saying these things?
- I knew you would eventually come into your senses. Gillette spoke and paused to sip his wine. He still had a feeling that you were listening even though he couldn’t see you and he was completely sure that Norrington had not noticed you… just like you had not noticed him seeing you… which meant that most likely you would be able to figure it out that he, Gillette, was just playing you… making you suffer a little and perhaps, managed to cause a breakup in process… not that it would matter because you were going to be hanged soon anyway.
- When I offered you the deal, it first looked like you wouldn’t take it. Gillette began and when Norrington was about to object, he continued by speaking over the former captain by stating with a cheerful tone “Congratulation for the promotion, Commodore Norrington.”
“Commodore… Norrington?” you thought and supported yourself on the wall behind you before storming out from the house into the garden where the sun was about to set into the sea. You saw ten red-coats walking out from the house, forming a neat row to the background, blocking all the possible exits. The red-coats loaded their weapons and pointed them at you as a warning that if you even thought about escaping, they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot you where you stood… but it was not your main concern. Oh no, it was the least of your problems now.
What concerned you more than anything was what you had just heard. It couldn’t be true… you couldn’t believe it… most importantly you did not want to believe it… but then again… it was what you had feared in the beginning and then you had put those thoughts aside. But it couldn’t be true! However… if it was not true then why Norrington had not said anything? Why had he not objected? Why had he offered Gillette wine like they were still best friends?
… Unless…
They still were… best friends. Men of the Royal Crown until the end.
What if you had been tricked into believing that Norrington loved you… just so he could sell you out and get his career back? All this for a stupid promotion! If that was all it took, you could have made him the commodore of your own fleet… If that was what his ego needed… or what he needed to feel like a man. Had this happened before or after you had defended him against your father? Was it possible that Norrington had started to despise you after all? Well, it made sense… he hated pirates before, basically loathed them… saw them as animals without any value… and… and he used to be man of the Royal Crown… that was what he had grown up to be… One couldn’t just change like that… Oh, what a fool had you been!
You felt the world spinning around you as you stared at the setting sun, trapped between the armed men and the cliff. You felt like you were suffocating as you processed in your mind the things you had heard; Gillette stating that he had offered Norrington some kind of deal and Norrington had accepted it… then Gillette had stated that they would have never found your secret island without Norrington’s help and… Norrington had been promoted to be the commodore. Well, that was just… great then.
Soon you heard Norrington walking out from the house and calling you by your name. You however did not turn to look at him and therefore he guessed that you had misunderstood the whole situation.
- So… A commodore-huh? you asked with a bitter tone.
- It is not how it looks like. Norrington stated, walked to you and put his hand on your shoulder. You however stepped immediately away from him with a disappointed and hurt look on your face.
- Is it not? I heard you talking with your friend Gillette. you stated and then continued with an accusing tone “I saw you drinking wine with him… celebrating… like best of friends”. Your voice was strong and loud at first but the longer you spoke the more silent it got. Norrington was speechless and therefore instead of saying anything he tried to get closer to you again.
- Don’t touch me! you shouted and then added “If you wanted me dead you shouldn’t have destroyed the evidence!” and started to laugh hysterically. “I was ready to die! I had made my peace!” you screamed after your manic laughter had turned into violent sobbing. “Is this some kind of game to you?” you whimpered as the tears started to pour out from your eyes.
- Alright, that is enough. Gillette, who had followed Norrington out, said and rolled his eyes. “Arrest her!” he ordered with a cold yet amused tone.
- Give us a moment, Gillette! Norrington shouted and put his hands on your shoulders.
- We can go to Port Royal. You will get a fair trial. Norrington spoke to you as you sobbed hysterically. “I will tell the judge about how you saved my life… the lives of my crew...” he stated as he tried to get into eye contact with you but you just kept avoiding him. “I will tell them that you defended me against your father… and transformed your fleet into authorized merchant ships” he continued with a tone that was supposed to calm you down. "The judge is an honorable and reasonable man, therefore I am most certain that he will pardon you!" Norrington stated desperately after noticing that his words and reassurances had no impact on you.
- She will hang. Gillette commented with a casual tone and ordered his men to stand back for a moment more. “This is too entertaining” he scoffed and rolled his eyes again.
You stepped away from Norrington, turned to look at the setting sun and suddenly you went uncommonly calm. You pulled the small bottle-pendant, that you always carried under your clothes, out and held it tightly in your hand, securely inside your fist. “Tell me, was it before or after arriving here when you decided to betray me?” you asked with an eerily calm tone as you kept your gaze fixed upon the glimmering horizon. “Did you ever really love me?” you asked with a tone that was filled with sorrow… but also exhaustion. Your face was decorated with a blank expression that made you look like you did not really care about anything anymore. “I still love you, I have always loved you... from the very first moment” Norrington said but he had a feeling that you did not either believe him or even hear him.
- Alright, show is over, arrest her. Gillette ordered and made a vague “go on” –gesture with his hand. At that moment you grabbed the bottle, opened its tiny cap and brought the rim on your lips. You got a vivid memory flash of your sick mother, laying in bed with your father sitting next to her, crying as he helped your mother to empty the very same bottle and then… she had just fallen asleep… and never opened her eyes again. Your father had then turned to look at you and stated that it was better this way because like this there was no pain.
Now, many years later you finally understood what your father had meant when he had said that the bottle was freedom. You did not want to sail back to Port Royal… and you did not want to get shot for trying to escape. “This is where I want to die” you mumbled and emptied the bottle as the sounds of Norrington fighting the soldiers echoed in your head until everything got muffled and eventually faded away. Norrington managed to grab a sword from one of the soldiers and threatened all ten of them so they wouldn’t get any closer. You turned your head and took one final look at him, shouting at his former friend as he was struggling to free himself from the grip of five soldiers.
Suddenly you felt your feet giving in and you collapsed on your knees. There was a light sting in your stomach as the poison started to work but you couldn’t even scream anymore. You stayed on your knees for a moment, staring at the setting sun and then fell on your back. You heard James shouting and cursing Gillette for what he had done, driven the love of his life to take her life. The soldiers let Norrington go as they felt pity for him and he ran to kneel beside you but the light had already left your eyes, just as the sun sank into the sea… so did your life leave your body.
James bent over you and kissed your lips, hoping that there was still some poison for him but so it happened that there was none. Gillette welcomed him to join the Royal Navy again but Norrington told him to go to hell because he did not want to see his former friend ever again. Gillette took his men and left the island before it got dark.
“Don’t be sad, James. Live a happy life… I will wait for you”
James heard a soft whisper in the light breeze that blew from the sea.
James Norrington continued living his life as a merchant, he got married with an agreeable and amiable woman… but he never fell in love again. He inherited your fleet as well as your house and lived there for the rest of his life, admiring the sunsets from the cliff… however he never talked to anyone about the day you had left him. The memory was too painful for him but as the years had slipped away he had eventually forgiven you and understood why you had taken your own life. In the beginning he had blamed himself for not seeing it and stopping you… but then he had understood that you had wanted to die as a free woman… not with a noose around your neck and hands shackled… while the crowd cheered and demanded you to be hanged.
It had been a bit over fifty years since that tragic day when James was sitting in the garden and watching the sun setting beyond the sea. It was the time of the day when he felt the closest to the woman he had lost such a long time ago… although he had not felt her presence with him since that last day. Suddenly he heard a soft voice in a wind calling his name… saying
“Get up, James. It is time. Don’t be afraid.”
James stood up with shaky feet and walked towards the cliff where he thought that the voice was coming from. The voice was very familiar but it had been such a long time since he had heard it… Suddenly he felt a terrible pain in his chest and he fell down on the ground. He heard his own gasps getting mixed with the sound of a maid screaming and the seagulls crying in the distance and then everything went black.
“James…”
he heard the voice calling, this time louder and stronger than just a whisper in the wind.
“Come with me”
James opened his eyes, raised his head and saw a familiar shape standing a bit further away from him, in front of the setting sun. A woman… wearing a light dress that hugged her beautiful form… the hem as well as her hair dancing in the soft, warm breeze. Truly a sight to admire.
“I have been waiting… Don’t be afraid, James”
James got up and noticed that there were no wrinkles on his hands and all the aches of an old body were gone. He felt young and strong again. He looked around amazed and then focused his attention to the woman whose laugher was echoing in the wind and making his heart feel light. Suddenly he recognized the woman that was calling him… she was someone he had once lost but never stopped loving. He walked to her as she offered her hand to him and squeezed it tightly when he took it. She turned to face him with a calm expression on her face, those familiar, gorgeous features… and placed her hand on the cheek of the man she had loved from afar all these years… and smiled against his lips as he leaned in to kiss her. Then… as the sun sank into the sea, the lovers on the cliff faded away into the golden light to share adventures in the afterlife.