Paris (Troy) / Reader - Part 3
You stared at nothing particular with a blank expression on your face as you went through the news that had been just given to you; your father was dead. It was not particularly surprising, to be honest, but still you had not really expected to hear this news so soon, it had after all been less than a year since you had left Thassos. Then your mind shifted to think about the way you had parted ways with your father, all the inconsiderate things you had said to each other; you had called your father an old fool and he had blamed you for committing the act of treason, basically banished you from your home.
Paris still held you, sitting next to you on the marble stairs and pulling you to lean on him. He kept talking to you softly but he knew that you did not really hear him because you were not responding to anything he was saying. This made the young prince of Troy particularly worried. He had seen you crying last night, sobbing helplessly, which of course had made his heart ache but now… now your unresponsiveness was more terrifying than any amount of anger or tears, because now you were trapped inside your own head and Paris did not know how to reach you there. Therefore he decided to stay strong and to take care of the practical things.
- Prepare the ship. he said and raised his head from the crook of your neck. “Give the necessary offerings to…” he continued, shifted his gaze to a servant that was waiting for instructions and paused to make his voice more assertive. “… to Poseidon so he will grant us a safe journey to Thassos” he added. The servant nodded and waited to be dismissed.
- Tell the other servants to pack (Y/N)’s clothes and belongings… Paris continued and swallowed as he realized that this was the moment when he was supposed to leave his home and build a life with you in the unfamiliar kingdom, maybe even rule it. “…mine as well” he added with somewhat shaky tone as he took a hesitant glance at his big brother, Hector, who responded by nodding.
- We shall sail early tomorrow. Paris stated and pressed a soft kiss on your head. You heard Paris talking, but you were still completely unable to understand anything or give any kind of reaction since your mind was filled with the unfair, cruel, so inconsiderate words that you and your father had fired at each other before you had sailed away with the Trojans. You knew that what you had done, the marriage with Paris for the sake of keeping the peace, had been the right decision to make at the time and you knew that you had made a big sacrifice which had caused you plenty of suffering… or actually it had not.
Yes, exactly; you would have felt more righteous about your choice if the past eleven months of marriage with Paris had been torture, or vastly unpleasant at least. You would have felt more morally justified if the sacrifice had felt like a sacrifice. Sure you had been homesick and lonely occasionally but then again you had always been treated well during your stay in the Trojan court and even Paris, the man that you had wanted to despise but had secretly fallen in love with, had been nothing but kind and proper towards you. This all was great, of course, but it made you feel guilty now. Guilty for abandoning your father, your people and your kingdom so eagerly and then becoming happy. It truly felt like the worst kind of betrayal now… now that your father was… dead.
- Paris, take (Y/N) inside. Hector said suddenly.
- No. Paris replied with firm, defiant tone.
- What? Hector asked. He sounded baffled and slightly offended even because Paris very rarely defied the orders or wishes of his big brother, the future king of Troy.
- I have promised that I will take (Y/N) to the seaside today. Paris stated, still holding you close and brushing your hair with slow, comforting movements. Hector scoffed and folded his arms as he exclaimed
- Are you insane, brother? There are many things to be discussed-
- No, not today. Paris replied with a soft, yet assertive tone and shifted his gaze to his brother. Paris knew deep down that many important decisions had to be made and there were many things to discuss before sailing to Thassos, but still, in Paris’ opinion it was very inconsiderate of Hector not to give you or your husband, Paris, a moment of peace to digest the news… and this made Paris even more willing to take you away from the palace for few hours. Maybe at the seaside you would be able to come to terms with your grief more freely… or to at least express it. Now you were just staring silently with a blank look on your face.
- You are the king of Thassos now, you cannot be so reckless! Hector said, rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air to emphasize his state of deep frustration. He was well aware that the news of your father’s death was surely shocking you but surely Paris, who was basically the new ruler of Thassos, saw the undeniable need for immediate actions.
- I might be the king, but my wife is the ruler of Thassos. Paris stated firmly. Hector groaned; this had been the moment he had been waiting for, the moment when the right order returned to the world and new chapter began. Hector cleared his throat and began with calm tone
- For example the matter of gold-
- Gold? Really, brother? Paris asked and scoffed.
- If you care about the prosperity of your home, you would care about the gold. Hector said. He was not an inconsiderate man but he had been raised to be the king of Troy one day and therefore he had grown a thick skin and learned to make hard decisions even in the most challenging situations, besides, above everything, he had grown up to always mind the well being of Troy. That was his first priority.
- I care about the well-being of my wife. Paris state firmly.
- And that’s why you would never be a good ruler. Hector stated and shook his head. “You only see the details and not the big picture” he continued, secretly wondering if he was being too harsh on his little brother.
- I do not even want to be a ruler! Paris exclaimed and held you a little tighter against his strong, tanned chest.
- But that is the agreement, Paris! Hector stated with loud, firm tone. “King Herakleides dies, the rule passes on to (Y/N) and from her to you” he continued. “To hell with such agreements” Paris commented defiantly, which annoyed Hector greatly; that was classic Paris… just as Hector had hoped that his little brother had grown up and matured enough to take some responsibilities, then he did this!
- (Y/N) has been brought up to be a ruler. Paris explained and took a deep breath before continuing any further. A silence followed and the silence was accompanied by a merciless stare by Hector. “She is wise, brave and kind” Paris added and drew back a little to see whether you were still just staring in shock.
- But you are the prince of Troy. Hector stated with a frustrated tone.
- Exactly! Of Troy, not Thassos. Paris exclaimed. “It matters not!” Hector responded immediately and this caused a loud quarrel between the two princes. You had been listening to the quarreling of the brothers all this time even though you had not been able to react in any way. Now however you forced yourself to exit your thoughts and exclaimed “Stop it!” The men went silent immediately and you pushed Paris away as an involuntarily reaction.
- Please, just… stop it. you mumbled and stood up.
- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Paris said softly instantly.
- I just cannot understand how this happened so… you said and added “soon” with a barely audible sigh.
- I’m aware that my father was an old and sick man but… you spoke and after taking a deep breath, you continued by saying “This is too soon.” You shifted your gaze from Paris to the messenger who had been standing a bit further away all this time, silently. You gestured the messenger to step closer and stammered “How… how did this happen?”
- The condition of King Herakleides quickly deteriorated after you had left. the messenger replied, paused as he hesitated a little and tried to form his thoughts into a somewhat polite sentence. After a moment the messenger sighed and began “He was heartbroken-“
- Are you blaming my wife for this? Paris asked as he stood up. He glared at the messenger with suppressed anger in his eyes.
- No, of course not. My sincerest apologies. Blaming your wife was not my intention. the messenger said and bowed at Paris. Paris nodded as a sign of accepting the apology and then the messenger continued slightly hesitantly, keeping long pauses between the words “However… like Hector said… there are… many things… to be… discussed-“
- Prepare the documents. you stated with a barely audible tone. “The new… uhm… the new trade agreements.” you clarified and shifted your gaze from the messenger to Hector.
- You, Hector, can name your terms and I will sign the document first thing tomorrow. you spoke with a defeated tone. You were done with arguing and quarreling and you had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to keep your emotions locked behind your seemingly calm exterior for much longer. You were still in shock but you could feel your tears bottling up as the grief started to whisper in the back of your mind and therefore you knew that it was any minute now that you would most likely break down.
- Very well. Hector said and bowed a little. Paris nodded and shifted his attention to you again.
- May I take you to the seaside? he asked with a soft tone as his attentive eyes tried to figure out what was going on behind your seemingly calm exterior. There was deep sorrow in your eyes, unlike only a moment ago, and this made Paris feel both worried and relieved; worried because surely grief caused you suffering… but relieved because grief was something that Paris was able to understand, unlike the blank expression combined with the unresponsive state that you had been in before.
- Do you think it’s wise? Hector asked with a slightly judging tone.
- Hector, I am asking my wife, not you. Paris stated with a firm tone and put his hands on your shoulders to massage them in a calming manner.
- What would you like to do? Paris asked softly.
- I… I just… Uhm… I-I… I just… want-uhm… you sighed, unable to form your thoughts into words. There was a part of you that wanted to runaway, to the seaside… basically anywhere as long as you had a chance to be alone but you knew that there was no way you would be allowed to be alone now. You also knew that tomorrow you would sail back to Thassos and that meant that you would see plenty of sea during the next couple of days and therefore you did not really have to see the sea today.
- Yes? Paris asked with a concerned tone because you weren’t answering his question. You were just basically mumbling something, entirely unable to put your thoughts into some kind of reasonable order. Paris put his hand on your neck and brushed your jaw with his thumb softly. He was happy that he was allowed to do so, finally, and he hoped that his gesture of physical kindness provided you some comfort. You enjoyed Paris’ touch very much but you could also feel Hector staring at you as he waited you to say something, to make a stand and behave like a ruler. You felt that Hector’s constant stare challenged you and demanded you to say something. You couldn’t take it anymore.
- I have lost my father, the only family I’ve had since my mother died. you said eventually and shifted your gaze to Hector whom you were now staring with the same intensity, although your eyes were getting filled with tears. “I just want to mourn as a daughter for a day” you continued and sharpened your gaze which made you look somewhat cold and distant, slightly offended even. “Is that too much to ask?” you asked with a defiant tone that
- No. My apologies. Hector replied and bowed a little. You nodded a little and said “If you’ll excuse me” before covering your mouth with your hand, turning away and bursting into tears. You had not wanted to break down like that publicly but you had been unable to hold your grief inside, tucked away any longer and therefore you ran up the stairs, back into the palace and headed straight to your private bedroom.
- I guess you’re not going to the seaside after all. Hector commented casually and shrugged his shoulders.
- Shut up, Hector. Paris scoffed and turned away to follow you. Hector watched Paris walking up the stairs and just as his little brother was about to disappear into the palace, he shouted “You might want to bring your wife some wine.” Paris stopped but he did not even turn to look at Hector. “It would probably calm down her nerves” Hector added and stared at Paris until he started walking again. After this Hector continued talking with the messenger and soon they went inside as well to prepare the necessary documents for you to sign.
The long corridors seemed to go on forever as you walked along them, hoping that you wouldn’t run into anyone. You did not want to answer any questions concerning your mental state or well-being because at the current moment you were not exactly able to speak. Besides you had never cried openly and therefore you did not want to show such weakness now either, even though it would have been completely understandable to do so. Finally you managed to stumble into your private bedroom and after splashing some cold water on your face you sat on the wide window ledge, behind the long curtains. After few minutes Paris knocked on the doorframe and entered the room.
- It is not a good time, Paris. I just want to be alone for a moment. you spoke with a fragile and partially broken voice without even turning your head to look at your husband.
- No. he stated firmly and walked closer. He could see you through the long curtains but watching you through the fabric made you look ghostly and therefore he pulled the curtains away a little so he was able to sit on the ledge as well, to face you. Then he let the curtains fall into their place again.
- Please. you sighed and took quick a glance at Paris after which you returned to stare out from the window.
- No, absolutely not. I will not leave you alone with this. he said and shook his head.
- I’ll be fine. you said as you tried to conjure a smile on your face but the smile was just a pathetic shadow of a smile, filled with sorrow and loneliness.
- We do not even have to talk, if you don’t want to. Paris stated and put his hand on your leg. He ran his fingers up and down softly and continued “I will sit beside you silently.” You nodded and after a long silence that had been accompanied with helpless sobbing you started to talk about your father, to share the memories that you had kept for yourself and eventually you also spoke about the last time you and your father had talked to each other.
- I am sure that your father knew deep down in his heart that you were only doing your duty. Paris commented after you had stopped talking. He felt a light sting in his heart every time when he thought about the fact that you had married him only to save your people from the war, as a duty, but then again, you had fallen in love with the prince of Troy eventually so basically your original reasons did not really matter anymore. Besides, even Paris wouldn’t have married you with such hurry if the agreement had not been orchestrated by his big brother.
- Perhaps, but I feel guilty anyway. you said and sighed before continuing. “Especially now that I have become so happy here” you said and sniffled. You leaned back to the marble window frame and closed your eyes. After a moment you fell asleep because crying so much, considering that you had cried your eyes out during last night as well, was very exhausting and therefore this new flood of emotions drained your energies very quickly. Paris hopped off from the window ledge and lifted your sleeping form up. He carried you into your bed, tucked you in and lay down beside you. He wrapped his arm around you, facing you and got as close as he could just so you could sense him presence even in your sleep and you would know that you weren’t alone.
You woke up late in the evening when the servant came to tell you and Paris that the dinner was about to be served in thirty minutes. You however were not hungry so you thanked for the invitation but refused it politely. The servant also mentioned that King Priam wanted to see Paris and therefore you woke Paris up gently and told him that the king was expecting to speak with him. Paris hesitated and eventually left the bed, after you had convinced him that you would be alright alone. Your husband promised to bring you a plate of your favorite things when he returned from the dinner because he did not approve it if you did not eat anything during the entire evening.
When Paris finally returned you had managed to pack your most beloved belongings and therefore you were basically ready to go. You wiped your cheeks immediately when you heard Paris entering the room and then joined him on the bed where you had a picnic with finger food and wine. There were some slices of different fruits, grapes, bread with feta cheese and shish kebab. After finishing the dinner Paris tucked you in and after you had fallen asleep he went to his own chamber to check his bags for tomorrow. When he was certain that the servant had packed everything as requested he returned to you to sleep with you until the sun rose and it was time to go.
In the morning your and Paris’ bags were taken to the harbor and before you and Paris left the palace you had a quick conversation with Hector who had prepared the documents for you to sign. He told you that the whole royal family accompanied by the most important diplomats would follow you and Paris tomorrow to join the funeral of King Herakleides and after that to celebrate the coronation of you and Paris, the rulers of Thassos. Hector also explained the terms for the trade agreement and for your surprise the conditions were more than fair and there was no demand for Paris to be the ruler of Thassos. Even Paris was secretly relieved about that because he knew that you had been raised to be the ruler and he was not and therefore it wouldn’t have made any sense if Hector and Priam had demanded him to rule the island kingdom instead of you.
After sorting everything up you and Paris were taken to the harbor and took a small rowing boat to the larger vessel that was anchored a bit further away where the sea was not that shallow. Paris commanded the oarsmen to start rowing and the ship began to move, somewhat slow at first but then the sails picked up the winds and the ship started to move faster towards the horizon. You stared at the open sea as you leaned on the railing and kept filling your lungs with the sea air. You closed your eyes when you heard the sound of seagulls crying in the distance and enjoyed the gentle rocking of the ship as it crossed the sea, keeping fairly close to the shore at all times, or never losing sight of it at least.
Paris walked behind you, wrapped his arms around you and hid his face into the crook of your neck. He breathed you in and pressed soft, adoring kisses on your neck as he exhaled. He did not dare to talk because it was rather obvious that you had a special and deeply private relationship with the sea. Paris had never paid so much attention to the detail but now he did; it was almost like you had been reunited with your long lost friend, like you had been part of the sea that surrounded you, maybe you really were a mesmerizing siren. Now Paris understood that living inlands, surrounded by sand and the city made of marble and stone must have been quite challenging for you because the turquoise horizon was the love of your life.
- Maybe you’re the daughter of Poseidon. Paris spoke softly into your ear. You chuckled a little and inhaled in slowly before turning around to face Paris.
- Or maybe I just got very fond of the sea because I grew up surrounded by it. you replied and shifted your gaze from Paris’ torso to his big, brown eyes that sparkled in the morning light.
- No. I can feel there is more. Paris stated softly and pressed his hand on your chest, right above your heart. He smiled shyly with an undertone of sadness in his eyes; he knew deep down in his heart that you did not belong to him… you belonged to the sea… whatever it meant.
- Are you saying that I’m a demigoddess? you chuckled and raised your hand on his neck to trace his jaw gently with your fingertips. Paris had such graceful yet handsome features, such beautiful, soulful eyes and he always looked at you with deep affection in them, even when he was angry at you.
- From all the gods and goddesses, you are the one that I would serve and worship forever. Paris spoke and after a small silence he added “Through time… And even through death.” You pressed your index finger on Paris’ lips and made a silent “shhh” –sound as you shook your head. You did not want to hear Paris talking about death or such because you wanted to live a happy, long life with him and you feared that the gods were constantly listening. The gods were known for playing tricks on the mankind for their own amusement and you were entirely certain that if they heard Paris making such promises they would someday soon test his sincerity.
You arrived to Thassos after three days of sailing since the winds were not that favorable and the sea got even rough occasionally, almost like Poseidon himself had tried to keep you from reaching your home. You were sleeping below the deck when Paris came to wake you up because the island of Thassos had just appeared to the horizon. You practically jumped up when you heard your husband mentioning your homeland and ran to the deck. There it was; a misty shadow-like island in the far horizon. The sight almost made your heart stop as you squeezed the wooden railing of the ship with your both hands. Yes, you were now home. You could feel it calling you, pulling you towards it, stronger by every passing moment that you sailed closer to your kingdom.