Will Turner / Reader - Part 5
It took approximately a week to sail to the town where located the house that Will had bought. You spent quite a lot time with Will, almost every waking moment, dined with him in the captain’s cabin and shared lively conversations with him and sometimes you sat on the deck with him silently and stared at the horizon. You both knew that in order to live together in the house by the sea, you had to get married first otherwise sharing a home with Will would be considered inappropriate and it would easily give wrong kind of ideas to the people that did not know you; people could for example start thinking that you were a depraved, immoral and promiscuous woman and that kind of misconception could, most likely would, turn you into a social outcast. However neither of you brought this up; Will did not bring it up because he knew that you did not love him and he did not want to doom you into a loveless marriage and you did not bring it up because you did not want Will to feel that you considered the marriage to be just a some sort of practicality agreement, which it was, but you did not want to hurt Will by underlining it.
You were leaning onto the railing of the ship, staring at the sea when you suddenly spotted a black ship in the horizon. You felt your blood freeze because you knew that there was only one black ship sailing the Caribbean Sea, the Black Pearl, on which you had been aboard once before more than three and half years ago. You hurried to find Will, who was sharpening his sword below the deck and then told him that there was a black ship in the horizon, crossing the distance with great speed. William put his sword away, stood up and focused his attention to you.
- There is no need to worry. he said with a calm smile on his face.
- But-but… When I was kidnapped… It was the crew of the black ship. you explained with a frustrated and deeply worried tone. You knew that Will was partially a pirate now but you did not want to think about the possibility that he was best friends with all the lowlifes of the Caribbean.
- The Black Pearl, yes I remember. But listen… Will said, stepped closer and placed his hands on your cheeks. You looked deep into his charming, brown eyes and inhaled slowly.
- The Black Pearl is Captain Jack Sparrow’s ship. Will stated calmly. This statement however did not make you any calmer; did that mean that Sparrow had somehow orchestrated your kidnapping and then pretended to be your friend? How twisted was he? And if Will was now besties with Sparrow, did it mean that the William you had once known was now entirely gone? Was Will also… deceitful and untrustworthy, changing his enemies into friends and vice versa on a whim or according to the current situation? Was William an opportunist without any moral compass? You shifted your gaze elsewhere from Will’s eyes as your expression turned even more confused and worried. You held your breath and then mumbled
- I don’t understand. I-I… I thought that Captain Barbossa-
- Yes, there was a mutiny and Sparrow was left on an island. The Black Pearl was commandeered by Barbossa but now it has been returned to the rightful captain. Will explained as he kept brushing your cheeks with his thumbs gently.
- To… Sparrow? you asked or more like confirmed and met Will’s eyes once again.
- Yes. So there is nothing to be afraid of. he said and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. When he drew back you exhaled deeply and nodded. You returned on the deck, went up to the quarterdeck and got the telescope from the captain. You took a look and indeed it was Captain Sparrow looking back at you with a telescope. You raised your hand immediately and waved at the friendly pirate who replied by taking off his hat in a very festive manner and bowing theatrically. The gesture made you laugh and you felt relieved.
- That is Sparrow, alright. you stated when Will walked next to you. “Yes” he said with a soft tone and asked you to give the telescope to him. You did as he asked and after taking a look with it, Will focused his attention on you.
- We will arrive to our new hometown tomorrow morning. he said and brushed a stray lock off your face and tucked it behind your ear. He had started to show his affection like this, with modest, small yet very gentle gestures and even though it had felt very strange at first, you had decided just to let him do it.
In the beginning, during the first two days, you had stepped away as an involuntary reaction; you had not known how you were supposed to react to such gestures because you had given him a permission to charm you, to try at least but on the other hand, you were not even close friends with Will anymore and the time passed had killed the romantic feelings you had once had for the blacksmith. Will had not gotten offended or anything, but you could see that your rejections hurt him. He had tried to hide his disappointment behind a smile and you had a feeling that it was not his ego that got bruised from your reaction… No, Will did not get offended, it just made his heart ache when you pulled your hand back when he tried to hold it.
He had then stopped trying during the third day because it got painfully obvious that you did not want him to touch you or invade your private space. You had been on the ship only few days but since you were constantly spending time together it felt like a longer time, or maybe not longer but very intense anyway and it had terrified you in the beginning. Then, in the evening of the fifth day you had encouraged your mind and put your hand on his when you had been dining together in private. You had decided to try, even though one could say that you were doing it for the wrong reasons. You were not doing it because you were in love with Will, well, you were not, but because you had promised William to try and you did not want to see him struggling with his heartache.
The two ships were anchored to the shallow waters next to each other and a sort of bridge was placed between the ships so the crews of both ships were able to move effortlessly from a ship to another. Will was not a captain yet but he was going to be one soon, hopefully, as soon he has learned to command a crew efficiently and learned how the sea currents as well as the winds behaved. Sparrow was the first to come aboard from the Black Pearl. He had not changed at all; he still seemed like he was quite heavily tipsy, even when he was not, his articulation was slightly slurred and he still made weird expressions and theatrical gestures when he spoke. He greeted you and Will, congratulated him for finally coming to his senses and stealing himself a wife… and not just any wife, you… because Will had not stopped talking about you during those three years.
- You two are married, aren’t you? Sparrow asked and suddenly grabbed your left hand. He raised it higher and shook his head when he did not see a wedding ring on your finger.
- Well this is… curious. he said and glanced at you with a deep disbelief in his eyes.
- I have listened to Mr. Turner continuously talking about you and whining that he misses you. I was expecting you two… he stated and checked your hand again just to be sure that he was not hallucinating. There indeed was no ring on your finger. You were just about to tell Sparrow that Will had not even proposed to you yet… but it was not like you had expected him to. Getting to know each other and courting was something entirely different that actually getting engaged and married. You were not sure if you were even mentally ready to get married yet! You knew that Will was a good man but you had always hoped to marry someone that you loved… not to get married and then maybe fall in love with the man afterwards.
- Worry not, Miss. I am most honored to wed you and Mr. Turner, savvy? Sparrow stated and before you had a chance to object or even react he ordered one of his crew members to find a pretty ring and a dress from the loot that they had stolen from Spanish merchants just the other day.
- It’s settled then. I shall wed you at sunset. Sparrow said and left you standing speechless. Will was standing next to you and he put his hand on your shoulder which made you jump a little as you recoiled from your thoughts. You turned to face him and even though you tried your best to hide the state of shock you were currently in, Will could see it in your eyes that this was going too fast.
- We do not have to do this. he said softly.
- But we do. You know that. you said and paused as you filled your lungs with the fresh, salty sea air.
- We can’t live in the same house if… you spoke and after a pause you added “we aren’t married”. William knew that you were right. He however had hoped your wedding day to be the happiest day in your life but it was more than obvious that you were only marrying him now because you had to… not because you wanted to.
- I would never be hired as a governess if there were rumors that I am living with a man, yet unmarried. you explained and turned away to stare at the horizon. Will sighed and swallowed once as he processed his feelings behind his calm exterior. His feelings were conflicted because he was madly in love with you and it hurt him to see you acting just because you had been put into a situation where you had no other choice, but then again, Will knew that he was the one who had put you into that situation and he was hoping that you were not hating him for it secretly. On the other hand Will was happy to marry you, to begin his life with you, so therefore his feelings as well as his thoughts concerning the situation were indeed conflicted.
- I’m sorry. he stated with a barely audible tone.
- You must have known that this would happen. you stated and placed your hands on the railing of the ship. You felt the smooth wood with your fingertips and then added with a firm tone “it must be done” and walked to meet the member of Sparrow’s crew who was carrying the dress for you. The dress was gorgeous, it wasn’t white but you did not mind. Most likely the pirate-wives did not even wear white because it was such a dull color, well, compared to the bold colors that the pirate captains usually wore.
You walked to the captain’s cabin and sat on the edge of the bed to calm down. You were emotionally in turmoil even though you managed to keep your mental chaos behind your polite smile. The sun was going to set very soon so you had to change your clothes and get ready for your wedding. Therefore you stood up after sitting fifteen minutes in silence and walked to the door, locked it and then got undressed. The dress that Sparrow had stolen was gorgeous; it had ruffles and a lacing, flattering cut and many layers of puffy-fabric which made the skirt-part look very impressive.
You stared at yourself in the mirror and put some flowers into your hair, traced the embroideries of the bust of your dress with your fingertips and soon there was knock on the door. “Just a second!” you replied and leaned to a back of a chair as you tried to contain the state of panic, that you were sliding into. This was happening too soon and you were not ready to get married. What if Will had some… expectations concerning the marital life together? What if he assumed that once you two were married, he would be entitled to… certain things… your body, for example? You might be ready to get married but you were certainly not ready to share the marital bed.
You went out on the deck that had been cleaned a bit and saw Will standing in his fine pirate-clothes in the bow of the ship. Sparrow was there too standing next to him and Sparrow gestured you to join them. You took a deep breath, put on your ladylike smile and walked across the deck with shaky, slow steps. You and Will stood silently side by side as Sparrow talked. You however were unable to make any sense of what he was saying because you were just so focused on keeping the smile on your face. The sun was setting behind Sparrow and it blinded you when he shifted a little. You recoiled from your thoughts and realized that everyone was waiting for you to say “I do”.
- I do. you said and gave your hand to Will who slid a beautiful ring into your left ring-finger.
- You may kiss the bride. Sparrow said and then cleared his throat when nothing was happening. You turned to face Will and stared into his eyes. The sunlight was making them sparkle but they were filled with hidden sorrow because Will was sad for basically forcing you to marry him.
- This is the part where the lad kisses the bonny lass. Sparrow said and pushed Will closer to you.
- May I… kiss you? Will asked with a soft, shy tone. You could feel everyone’s eyes on you as the crews of the both ships were waiting for Will to kiss you. You smiled and nodded subtly. Will placed his hand on your cheek and his other hand on your waist. He leaned closer and pressed his lips softly against yours.
You stood there like that, lips pressed against each other for a few seconds, perfectly still and then Will stepped back, took your hand, raised it on his lips and pressed one kiss on your knuckles. You sighed and forced yourself to smile widely as you heard Sparrow declaring that you were now “Mrs. and Mr. Turner”. After this there was some music, drinking and eating. You and Will danced together a couple of times, mostly because everyone was expecting you to and then, when the crew of the Black Pearl returned to their ship, you and Will retired to the captain’s cabin, which was currently occupied and had been occupied by you the entire week.
Will lighted some candles and you sat by the captain’s dining table, on opposite sides from each other. You poured some wine into two wineglasses and gave the other glass to Will, who was now your husband. Neither of you knew what to say and the situation got a little bit awkward so you both kept hiding behind your wineglasses until the bottle was empty. It was not the first time that you were sitting silently together, sipping wine in the candle light but this was the first time that you both felt that the situation was somewhat awkward.
- You look very handsome today. you said suddenly. Will smiled a little because hearing that his appearance pleased your eye made him happy. He was wearing a white tunic that had decorative embroideries in front, dark breeches with knee socks and a dark overcoat that had golden decorations. His hair was not tied this time and you had learned to appreciate his slightly curled, brown man-locks that danced in the breeze and made him look free and worriless. He had a little bit of mustache, a small goatee on his chin but otherwise he had shaved off his facial hair. The look suited him very well and now that you had gotten used to seeing him with it, you did not mind the more manly appearance at all.
- Thank you. he said with a slightly shy tone.
- You look… absolutely gorgeous. I am such a fortunate man. he continued after gathering his courage.
- Hm, it is a beautiful dress. I wonder to whom it belonged to. you mumbled and felt the ruffles of the sleeve with your fingers. You liked the dress very much, but it was not the lifestyle that you would have chosen for yourself; to use stolen things and that way contribute to the illegalities. Will noticed the slight undertone of disapproval in your tone and he did not dare to comment on the manner the dress had come to your possession. William cleared his throat and commented
- I agree that the dress is truly beautiful… But without you the dress is only a dress. You however would be gorgeous even without… it… I mean-
Will realized that he had maybe spoken his mind a bit too soon. He started to explain that he had not meant it like… that and what he had wanted to say was that you did not need beautiful dresses to make you pretty and so on, but he just seemed to be able to say everything in the most ridiculous or inappropriate way that the more he tried to get himself out from the verbal mess, the more he got himself tangled with it. You chuckled a little when you noticed Will’s face turn red and his tone changing slightly embarrassed as he tried to correct himself, but the more he kept talking the more ridiculous the situation got… but it was an ice breaker. When Will noticed that you were laughing, he finally stopped talking and chuckled as well.
- I hope you will like the house I have bought. It is not big… Only two floors... Will said and put his hand over yours.
- I’m sure we’ll become very happy there. you replied and smiled as you shifted your gaze from the candle into William’s eyes. He sighed relieved because it meant the world for him to hear you saying that; it gave him assurance that maybe with time there would be love… deep, passionate love that would make every bit of struggle worth it.
You continued chatting with Will for many hours until you realized that it was almost morning already. Will told you that the Black Pearl would continue its journey further in the morning and the ship, on which you and Will were sailing, would take you to the harbor of your new hometown around noon. There would be a fifteen-minute-carriage-ride to the house where the maid had taken care of the necessary chores. Will had hired a maid who came to the house from Monday to Saturday and left in the evening because the house was not large enough to accommodate her. You did not mind at all because you did not really want any strangers living under the same roof anyway.
- I think we should probably change our clothes. you stated just as Will was about to leave the cabin. The crew of the ship had woken up already and you did not want to make them suspicious; they did not have to know that the marriage had not been properly consummated and you did not want to embarrass Will in front of them. It was a relief that you had talked the entire night because then there had not been the awkward situation of sharing the bed or one of you sleeping on the floor but no one had to know that nothing had happened during the dark hours of the night.
Will helped you with the lacing of the dress, helped you to get undressed to your undergarments very modestly. He was careful not to touch your skin or stare and then he helped you to get dressed into another dress that was slightly plainer than your wedding dress. Will took off his tunic and changed it into a plain, white shirt that had quite large sleeves. You swallowed silently when you saw his bare back and for the first time in a long time you had a feeling that you would have wanted to walk to him, press yourself against his back, wrap your arms around him and caress his tanned skin with your lips… but these thoughts were interrupted when Will put the white shirt on and turned to face you.
- Everything alright? he asked softly, yet attentively because you seemed somewhat absent, like you had been mentally somewhere else entirely.
- Yes. you replied and smiled when you had managed to shake the mental image of his strong muscles… his warm, soft skin… under your fingertips… against your lips… Lips that would surely taste the sea salt on his skin… oh the skin that had been kissed by the sun before you. “Stop it!” you commanded yourself silently and then followed Will out from the cabin.
The Black Pearl was just about to leave and the crew was weighing the anchor as well as hoisting the sails as you walked to the deck with your husband. You said goodbyes to the crew as well as to Captain Sparrow and then you watched the ship sailing away. The captain of this ship ordered the men to weigh the anchor, hoist the sails and then you continued further to the shallow waters, until you saw the harbor and it was time to get into the rowing boat that would take you and Will to ashore. You and Will said goodbyes to the crew and climbed down to the small boat, where the two rowers were already waiting with the bags of your and Will’s belongings.
There was a carriage waiting at the harbor, just like Will had stated. It took you, the bags as well as your husband to the house that was located by the sea, guarded by large mountains that made it feel like you were completely secluded from the town, although the town was actually just behind the rough terrain that was connected to your new home with a narrow road. You got out from the carriage and were greeted by a maid who was twenty-something and about an average in every way. Will carried your bags into the house and then gave you a quick tour.
- Welcome to your new home. he said when you walked into the entrance hall. You looked around curiously and walked further in; there was a small kitchen, a sitting room with large windows and a fireplace, a dining room furnished with a small dining table and four chairs. You walked to the upstairs where the bedrooms were. There was a bigger master bedroom with a view to the mountains, a smaller guestroom that had a balcony to the sea and a shared bathroom in the end of the corridor.
- I hope you like it. William said with a shy tone. The house was indeed quite small but then again, it was very cozy and practical; you did not even need a big house to be happy because for you happiness was not based on owning plenty of things. You had lost everything you had had a couple of times and therefore you had learned that what really mattered in life was the people you were living it with.
- It is… beautiful. you said and walked to the balcony of the guestroom.
- Oh, the view! Breathtaking! you gasped with awe. The sea was glimmering in the sunshine and the sound of waves was making you feel calm. “It really is by the sea” you commented and turned to look at Will who was standing behind you. “Yes” he sighed with a smile on his face.
- I will carry your bags into the master bedroom, which is where you will sleep. I shall sleep here in the guestroom. Will spoke as he monitored your expression… he was more than curious to know if you really, truly liked the house or if you were just being polite.
- Oh no, I cannot allow it. You bought the house. You should have the master bedroom. you stated firmly. Will sighed and shook his head. The guestroom was small and the bed was not that large either. He took a deep breath and said “but-“ which you interrupted by stating
- No objections, William. That is what I want. Besides, I want the room with the view.
- Very well. Will chuckled and returned inside. You followed him and closed the door that led to the balcony. There was a rather strong wind coming from the sea and since the backdoor that led into the garden was open in the downstairs, it created a wind tunnel which made the purchase documents fly off the table and the long curtains almost get ripped from the curtain rods.
The maid had cleaned the house, changed fresh linen to the beds and also prepared the lunch for you and Will. You had not slept during the previous night so you were looking forward mostly the moment that you would get a long bath and go to bed. Will felt the same; he liked sailing very much but life was just so much comfortable and easier onshore, in a real house… and not among the crew on a ship. Will however was very keen on really building your life together and therefore he wanted you to get everything you needed. He knew that when you had sailed from Europe, you had been forced to leave your belongings behind and everything you had gotten after arriving to the Caribbean, you had lost in the fire. After that you had been living with Elizabeth’s old things and you had never really had anything entirely yours.
- We should go shopping. Will said suddenly when you were sitting and eating late lunch.
- Shopping? you asked, not sure if you had heard correctly or not.
- Yes. It is about time you will get new things… clothes and such. Will explained and put his hand on yours, squeezed it lightly and tried to reach your gaze with his. You had not even thought about shopping because you had no money… and since you had no money, you did not want to live at anyone’s expense more than you had to. “I suppose” you mumbled with a barely audible tone. You raised your gaze from the plate in front of you and asked with a concerned tone as you shifted your gaze to Will
- Do I embarrass you? I realize that I’m not the most fashionable wom-
- No-no-no, it was not what I meant. he said immediately. You were silent and smiled a little as a reply. Will however did not smile… at all… and he actually looked troubled.
- There is something bothering you, Will. you stated with a concerned and warm, yet firm tone.
- Yes, Miss (Y/N). Will admitted with a nod. “What is it?” you asked because you were getting truly worried.
- I always thought that Elizabeth was so generous when she gave you her old dresses. Will spoke with an ashamed voice. He had indeed always assumed that Elizabeth was the most graceful lady and she was just being generous beyond belief when she had given you… everything. “Well, she was” you commented with a silent tone, even though you did not necessarily think so. Well, it was a very multi-sided dilemma; on the other hand, yes, Elizabeth had given you a home, things and dresses, a comfortable life, but then again by doing so she had ensured that you would always stay in debt to her and you wouldn’t have a life of your own.
- No. I have come to a conclusion that it was her way to keep you in debt to her… and also to keep you beneath her. Will stated and took a deep breath as he stood up and walked to the window.
- Well, I was just a maid. you commented with a casual tone. You did not want to think about the past too much when you actually wanted to embrace the present day and shift your gaze into the future. Will however did not want to let it be until you knew that he now saw Elizabeth the way you had seen her.
- No! You are a fine young woman. You are truly beautiful, smart and kind and you have always been. Will said firmly and turned to look at you. You put your fork back to the plate and leaned back in the chair as you exhaled very deeply. Will was silent for a moment and then he continued
- She could have paid you… a real salary and then you could have gotten what you wanted yourself.
- I guess you have a point. you commented and stood up. The maid rushed from the kitchen immediately to take the plates and tidy the table. Will went through in his mind all those times when he had overlooked all the nasty comments that Elizabeth had made about you and how Will had always taken them as a joke because he had not wanted to face the truth, which was that he was in love with a mean girl who did her best to keep you in her shadow. Will inhaled sharply and then stated
- You could have been your own person-
- It was not that bad, Will. you commented. You were not bitter about your past… or you did not want to be because you knew that bitterness caused more harm than did any good and it easily spread all around, poisoning the minds of people and eventually turning everybody against each other.
- Not bad? So many times she laughed at you behind your back, belittled your accomplishments and reminded everybody that…Will said and stopped to catch his breath. You asked him to stop a couple of times but he didn’t and therefore you walked out from the dining room, opened the backdoor and walked into the garden that was bathing in sunlight.
- That you were indeed using her old dresses that were out of style… That you owed everything to her. Will stated as he followed you. “I know” you commented when he finally stopped talking. “You knew?” Will asked with a tone that was a mixture of confusion and surprise.
- Oh course I did. She was not exactly discreet about it. you explained and sat on a bench that was under an orange tree.
- Why didn’t you tell me? Will asked and sat down next to you. You filled your lungs with the scent of the orange blossoms and answered hesitantly “I just didn’t. Didn’t see the point”, hoping that Will would just leave the subject and move on. “I understand” he replied after a moment of silence, during which you both just stared at the clouds that sailed across the horizon.
- I remember you mentioning that Elizabeth was not the lady I thought she was. I did not believe you then and most likely wouldn’t have believed you earlier either. I was so blind. Will commented after a while.
- You were in love. you mumbled and for the first time during the conversation you sounded… bitter.
- Foolishly so. Will replied with an apologetic tone.
- Well I was foolishly in love with you. We were both such fools. you commented and closed your eyes. You were tired because you had not slept and now that you had even eaten well, the tiredness was really kicking in. Just as Will was about to say something, you opened your eyes, stood up and stated with a slightly sorrowful and barely audible tone
- Listen, maybe we shouldn’t talk about this-
- But we need to! I want you to know that I realize now how wrong I was and I want you to be your own person. Not a woman who lives in her husband’s shadow. Will said and stood up as well. He took your hands and lifted them to his lips, pressed soft kisses on your knuckles and then continued “I want you to be… you”. You held your breath because you were deeply flattered for such loving and sincere gesture.
- Because you deserve it and I… love you. Will added and pulled you into his embrace. He wrapped his arms tightly around you and held you close for many minutes. At first you did not dare to wrap your arms around him, but as you relaxed and got more comfortable to have him close, you slid your hands on his back. Will buried his face into the crook of your neck and breathed in the flowery scent of your hair.
You sat in the garden under the orange tree until the sun set and the sky filled with stars. You would have loved to stay on the beach, watching the stars that were sparkling like precious gemstones over the sea but you were getting too tired to stay awake anymore and therefore you wished Will goodnight and retired to your room after taking a long bath. Will took a bath after you and went to bed as well. You crawled into the bed and listened to the sounds of the surrounding nature but even though you were dead-tired, you were unable to fall asleep. You got up from bed and walked to the door that led into the balcony, opened it and returned to the bed. The sound of waves filled the room and soon you drifted away.
The next four and half weeks weeks you spend like this; getting to know the surroundings as well as the house, shopping and getting used to living together. You and Will got along very well after the nervousness had left the building and you started to feel good about your life-choices. You knew that you could have told Will to sail you back to your previous hometown and he most likely would have done so, after the first arrogant temper tantrum, the one when he had sworn to take you with him even against your will. You however knew that Will most likely had to sail away soon because he was not a blacksmith anymore. No, he was a pirate-slash-merchant and it meant that he was going to be on his business-trips many days and maybe even weeks.
- When you’re leaving again? you asked one evening when you were sitting in the garden again with your husband.
- Tomorrow morning. he answered. You sighed and processed the answer in your mind. You had enjoyed the weeks that you had lived with him in the house and now it was almost heartbreaking to hear that he was leaving… so soon.
- When will you be back? you asked with a neutral tone because you did not want to make your husband worried. You knew that you had everything you needed, even more and the maid came almost every day to help with the chores… Besides, the house was located in a very sheltered and private place which meant that even if some pirates attacked the town, they most likely did not even realize that there was a house just behind the hills and rough terrain that consisted of tall trees and tangle of vegetation.
- In three-four days, depending on the weather. Will answered.
- Alright. And on which side of the law is this? you asked curiously but just as Will was about to give you an answer you continued
- Or wait… I do not want to know. It is better if I don’t know the details.
- Very well. Will replied and stood up. He gave you his hand and pulled you up as well. You stretched your arms as well as your back and followed your husband in, closed the backdoor behind you and lighted a candle.
- I will leave money to the maid… and to you as well, of course, so you will get anything you need while I’m gone. Will stated as he put his satchel ready for the morning. He knew that he had to wake up around the sunrise and since he did not want to wake you up by making noises, he decided to prepare his departure as much as he possibly could in advance.
- It’s alright. I might try to find a vacant position for a governess. you said as you watched William collecting his things. You followed him upstairs into the master bedroom where he selected some shirts for the journey. You stayed at the doorway and leaned to the doorframe while Will walked around the room, from the closet to the bed, on which he had his bag waiting for being filled. Suddenly he stopped and turned to look at you.
- You do realize that you do not need to work, don’t you? I am sure I will be able to provide a comfortable living for both of us. he said with a concerned, yet deeply thoughtful tone.
- I do not doubt that, but I think I might go insane if I have nothing to do. you replied.
- I understand. Will commented and continued packing.
- What does a governess do exactly? he asked suddenly. You smiled, chuckled a little and replied “teach”.
- Oh, that is important. Will mumbled and then he added with a barely audible tone “I didn’t know that”. He had thought that governess was just a fancier name for a maid and therefore he had not even considered that it was something very important that you did for living… or had done… before he had basically kidnapped you… not six weeks ago.
- Teach what? he asked curiously.
- Reading, writing, literature, mathematics… Manners. you explained and shifted your weigh from another foot to another.
- So in other words the children lost their education because of me. Will mumbled with an embarrassed tone. You started to laugh and walked further into the room, sat on the edge of the bed and replied
- Ha-ha. Yes, but I had already taught them almost everything I could.
- Really? You’re not saying that just to make me feel better, are you? Will asked, but he did not dare to look you into eye. It made now sense why you had exclaimed so angrily that you were a governess, when he had said that you were a maid with the deeper meaning that what you did, was not really that important and your life was not actually worth of living if you continued living it like that… as a governess… which did not mean the same as a maid after all.
- No, of course not. There were just some minor details about manners that I was yet to teach them, so you see, Mr. Turner, they did not miss much. you comforted him and took a shirt out from his bag. You folded it nicely and put it back into the bag. You gestured Will to give the shirts to you before just shoving them into the back because the way he was packing, the shirts were going to get very wrinkly.
- I remember you teaching me manners. Will commented with a shy smile on his face suddenly.
- You do? Still? you asked and laughed because you were genuinely surprised. It was almost ten years ago and you had never assumed that Will remembered… So much had happened since after all.
- Yes. I tried to impress you. he said and then added “as always” with a sincere tone.
- I didn’t know that. you commented with a chuckle. You had always assumed that Will had never even noticed you but apparently you had been wrong. Will had noticed you, he had tried to impress you, gain your attention… but then given up when you had treated him as your friend and nothing more. Elizabeth had however started to flirt with Will and his interests had shifted. Ironically you had fallen for Will after he had fallen in love with Elizabeth.
- No, you didn’t. Will said and then mumbled “you would have laughed at me”.
- I wish I had. you replied and sighed. “Laughed at me?” Will asked with an amused tone. “No, silly! Known!” you exclaimed. A silence filled the room because neither of you knew what to say next. You were completely in awe and deeply surprised to have found out that there had been a time when Will had seen you… not Elizabeth… and you couldn’t help wondering what your life would have been like if you had known about Will’s feelings earlier. Will kept thinking about the same thing and therefore neither of you said anything.
- Well, I trust you know what is best for you. Will stated eventually and closed his bag now that it was full.
- Thank you. you said, stood up and took a long, warm and friendly glance at William. You stared deep into Will’s eyes as he drowned into yours. You shifted your eyes onto his lips for a moment, thinking what it would feel like to kiss him. So far he had kissed you only twice; once against your will and the second time… well, during the second time he had not moved at all, so basically he had just stood close and pressed his lips against yours. Sure, you had been in a chaotic state of mind, being married without being mentally ready for it and all… but now… now that you were staring deep into Will’s beautiful eyes, you couldn’t help being mesmerized and intrigued.
Will kept staring at you, getting lost into your gorgeous, (your eye color) eyes and sometimes his gaze shifted to your rosy lips that were so soft and full… Just a little bit parted, almost as if you had been waiting to be kissed. Will kept thinking about those two times when he had kissed you almost all the time. He regretted that he had kissed you so forcefully against your will and he regretted that he had kissed you so softly during your wedding… although, it had been the right thing to do at the time. Now you were right here… in front of him…maybe waiting… “But what if I am wrong?” he thought silently. He couldn’t take the risk now because you had finally started to feel comfortable with him. There was a possibility that he was reading the signs wrong and if he kissed you now, he might end up ruining all the progress that he had made with you during the time you had spent with him in the house.
- I think it is time for me to get to bed. I must leave early tomorrow and I’m afraid that I will be gone before you’ll wake up. Will said and cleared his throat as he stepped a little bit further away from you. You recoiled from your thoughts and asked
- Do you wish me to wake up with you?
- No, I wish you to sleep as late as you want. Will replied with a smile on his face. You nodded and left his bedroom. At the door you stopped, turned to look at your husband who was taking his clothes off. You stood there at the doorway silently for a moment without saying anything. You lifted your fingers onto your lips and traced them softly as you watched Will taking his shirt off and exposing his tanned, strong chest to you, although he did not realize that you were staring at him.
- Be safe, Mr. Turner. you said with a soft, somewhat adoring voice. You admired secretly Will’s strong physique and now that he was standing in by the bed without his shirt, you couldn’t turn your head away.
- Yes, I will, Mrs. Turner. Will answered. You knew that it was rude to stare and therefore you disappeared into the dark corridor to cool down the strong blush that was decorating your face.
Will cursed that he had not kissed you. It had been a perfect moment, you had clearly felt deeply attracted to him and he should have just… wrapped his arms around you, lay you down on the bed very carefully and… crawled on top of you, hovered there admiring you for a moment and then finally lowered himself on you and captured you between his lips and the soft pillows… Or no… “Not the bed… too soon” Will thought silently as he stared at the doorway where you had been standing just a moment ago, staring him getting undressed. Yes… Will knew that you had turned to look… But enough of that…
Will knew that he should have just embraced you or cupped your face and kissed you with all the ways you deserved to be kissed… modestly and gracefully at first… maybe then getting lost into each other and slowly daring more… to hold you closer, kiss you more passionately, intensively and with great care, love and with his full focus on you… until you both would have been out of breath but still unwilling to abandon each other’s lips. Will knew that he should have worshipped you with his lips, freed you slowly from your doubts and clothes… “no, too soon” Will thought and scolded himself for jumping ahead of things… but a kiss… one, real shared kiss… It would have been enough for now… more than enough... It would have been… heaven.