Loki / Reader (4)
A man in a black suit and raven black hair entered the Avengers Tower. You had been told that there were going to be royal guests from the realm of Asgard that evening and since you were working as the chef for the heroes it was your responsibility to cater the high guests as well as the normal gang who lived in the tower. Yes, you were the chef but during your couple of years of service, you had become good friends with the gang and one of them although you did not go on missions or save the world… yeah, you just fed the hungry stomachs of the ones that did save the world every once in a while.
But you liked your job very much. You were good at it and your boss, Tony Stark, was giving you free hands and unlimited budget to come up with anything you liked and so far you had been very successful. You had been offered a chance to live in the tower and after thinking about it through you had accepted the offer because your previous apartment had located quite far away from downtown and you had always wasted two hours of your precious free time, daily, on commuting by using public transportation.
Of course with the salary that Stark is providing you, you could have easily rent a place in downtown but like this you were able to save some money and hang out with your friends, well, the people for who you were basically working for. Besides Stark had the best gadgets and you had been allowed to select your own furniture so basically you were having your apartment inside the tower. And the view was magnificent. It truly was.
You shifted your thoughts from everything else and concentrated on the dish you were preparing. You had gotten used to cook for Thor but you had never cooked for or even met his little brother Loki. You had heard many things about Loki and to be honest you were a little afraid of him but you had been assured that he had atoned his crimes and was now fighting alongside the avengers. You had not criticized and you did not really think that it was your business anyway to have an opinion about the affairs between the realms.
No one was really paying any attention to you and sometimes it was so frustrating. It felt like the actual story was happening in front of your eyes and you were the bystander watching from the sidelines. This however you never addressed aloud and it was not your place to make yourself noticed anyway. Again you shifted your thoughts back to the dinner and kept stirring the frying pan that was filled with seasonal vegetables.
The kitchen that you were working was an open kitchen and it was located in the top floor. Therefore you were not hiding anywhere and your job was to cook only for the certain people, not the entire staff of the huge organization, hell no, you only catered the most important people and that included a few royal guests here and there.
You could not help but keep reminding yourself that it was impolite to stare when your gaze kept finding the man dressed in black. There was something about him that attracted you, well of course, Loki was an extremely handsome man… a god, not a man, a god. “Shit! I always forget that!” you scolded yourself, but it was only because even Thor treated you like you had been his little sister so now when you met Loki for the first time, although you had not officially met him yet, it was difficult for you to remember how you were supposed to address royals.
Then finally Thor came to greet you and snatched a carrot stick from the frying pan.
- Hey! you exclaimed playfully and laughed.
- I am trying to cook here! you continued and gave Thor a mean glare which he knew to be only a joke, how the humans called it.
- Lady (Y/N), it has been too long. he said with a smile on his face.
- Yeah, well you should visit us more often. It’s not like I could just decide that “oh what a lovely day, I’ll just visit my buddies in Asgar-
- No, it is certainly not. Loki said with a despising tone. He had seen his brother talking with you and decided to introduce himself. You were a bit embarrassed now. It had become so normal for you to joke around with Thor and it was obvious that his brother was not exactly the most… cheerful person which you found odd because he was the trickster after all. “Yeah” you mumbled and smiled in a bit awkward way. Rude or not, damn he was handsome and engaging!
- Besides I did not know that you have many friends in our godly realm. Loki continued. “Well, this is going nicely” you thought and swallowed before answering
- Okay, let me rephrase it then… I cannot visit my only Asgardian friend-
- It is not necessary. Do not let my brother bring down your high spirits, my lady. Thor said and smiled. When you had first met Thor he had been somewhat arrogant, very aware of his superiority when compared to simple humans but then he had changed and you had become rather good friends with him. His brother however was completely different.
- I still want to apologize… It was inconsiderate of me. you said and offered your hand for a handshake as a sign of truce but Loki just glared at you and mumbled something about lowly humans as he walked away. “Yeah, that went well” you thought to yourself again and sighed.
Thor stayed for a while chatting with you and stealing carrots from the frying pan when he thought that you were not looking. You however knew exactly what he was doing and it amused you greatly. Well many things did. It was just the way you were; light spirited and you always tried to see the bright sides of things. You usually made people laugh and lighted their spirits even after long and tiring missions… it was actually what you did and why you were such an important piece of the well-oiled machine called the Avengers. You listened to their worries over a tasty dinner and then turn their moods around.
Sometimes it was difficult because you felt that you were not really part of the gang although you were part of the gang but still you… were not. You were there in the sidelines cheering the champs on and celebrating their victories side by side with them, just like you dealt with losses and the moments when the situation was difficult, but still you sometimes hoped that you were something more. It was a feeling that ghosted over your mind and made your smile fake occasionally.
You liked everybody and everybody liked you, everybody except one; Loki. He shot your jokes down and he was constantly on bad mood. Yes, he had come for a longer visit with Thor since there were important matters to attend to in the realm of Midgard. You did not know what you had done to make Loki to despise you so and the situation had not escaped the eyes of the gang either. They actually teased you and Loki about it. They told Loki how he must be like the only person who did not like you and they teased you for accepting it. They thought that you should have charmed him with your amazing personality but you did not know how because it seemed that your “awesome personality” was the thing that made Loki squirm in his seat as he had been in physical pain.
Your smile was partially a mask, or sometimes it was. Most of the times it was sincere and you were as lighthearted as you showed to people but sometimes when no one was looking, you sat in your own living quarters silently and stared into the horizon. Those times you felt like you were alone in the world and even though you were almost constantly surrounded with people, surrounded by friends in the matter of fact, you still felt that no one really saw you. No one really knew what it felt like when you were the one outside looking in. In a way you were not connected with anyone and all you had in your life was your work. Sure you liked your work very much but you wished that there was something else as well.
You had had a small crush on Steve Rogers at one point but he saw you as his little sister too so you had never even told him about your feelings. Then you feelings had faded away when you had heard that he was fallen in love with that agent… whose name you did not remember. It always slipped your mind. Whatever the name was, it did not really matter, but she was brave and gorgeous and she was not afraid to stand up for the things she thought that were right. In a way she matched Steve perfectly and you were happy for them. So you settled with being everyone’s cheerful chef and little sister… Everyone’s except Loki’s.
Then one day when almost everyone was away from the tower, on their usual business, who knows where, you heard a glass breaking in the lounge –room when you were watching a Gordon Ramsay –cooking tips on Youtube. You put your tablet away and sat up on your bed. You listened to the silence for a moment and when you heard yet another glass breaking, you stood up and walked to the lounge area. Your private living quarters were not in the top floor but there were lounge –areas on almost every floor.
You walked to the lounge and found the place completely trashed. At this point you were about to call Stark but you felt someone grabbing your arm and locking it behind your back before you were able to call for help.
- Where is it? a man asked as he twisted your arm.
- What? you exclaimed and tried not to panic. You had always known that working for the avengers was somewhat risky and dangerous because they had many enemies and their enemies were the worst kind of enemies. They were the bad guys who were willing to trash places and kill people to get what they wanted and now they wanted “it”, whatever “it” was.
- Don’t play games with me! the man shouted and twisted your arm more. You screamed for pain when you felt your shoulder getting dislocated.
- I am just a chef! you gasped as you tried to breathe through the pain. The man shouted “move!” and dragged you into the elevator. He forced you to ask Jarvis to take you to the top floor by threatening you with a knife and you had no other choice than to do as he said. Jarvis pointed out that your voice sounded like you were in pain and suggested that he would call Stark but you were immediately reminded about the knife on your throat. The man was pressing it against your skin and as the lift started to move, it made him shake a little and the knife made a small cut, more like a scratch on your throat.
- It is okay, Jarvis. Just take me to the top floor. you whimpered as tears poured on your cheeks from your eyes. You hoped that someone who knew how to handle a situation like that had returned already or at least you might manage to distract the man for a moment and then call for help. When the elevators door slid open in the top floor you saw an employee of Stark standing with some papers in his hands waiting for the elevator right in front of the sliding doors. You tried to shout “run” to him but the man who was dragging you stabbed the guy before he managed to even shift his attention from the papers to the opening doors.
Then your arm was being twisted once again and this time you passed out from pain. The last thing you saw was the man in black suit and raven black hair sneaking behind the man and most likely kicking his ass. You recoiled pretty soon and saw the dead employee staring at you as you lay on the floor facing him. Loki had captured the man and was waiting for someone, anyone to come and take him to be interrogated. Your arm was hurting but otherwise you were fine, fine but shocked. The man who had gotten killed was a friend of yours and he had actually asked you out just yesterday. Now he was laying dead on the floor, stabbed in his chest.
Finally Stark and Thor arrived to the tower and you told them what had happened, the small piece that you knew, that was. Your shoulder got fixed and “it” got secured. No one told you what that “it” was but to be honest, if “it” was worth of killing for, you really did not want to know. You reasoned that it was safer that way.
- I’m fine. you answered every time when anyone was asking you about your well-being but no one really-really asked.
It had been a month or so since the funeral of your friend, the co-worker who had been killed right in front of your eyes. Life was returning normal in the Avengers Tower and you felt that everyone was expecting you to just move on. You tried, you really did, but it was challenging. You got scared of every noise and every shadow and your hands were just shaking every time when you were supposed to handle a big kitchen knife, which one was very similar to the knife that your friend had been killed with.
You kept smiling and joking but on the inside you were screaming because what your friends did not understand was that you were not used to seeing people getting killed or being threatened in that way. You felt almost betrayed because your friends, the people that were supposed to protect you, being heroes and all, had not been there. The only person who had been there was Loki, the man who apparently hated you. However you were deeply pleased that he did not hate you enough to let you get killed as well.
You were having an evening off. You were spending it by laying on your bed, staring at the window which basically covered an entire wall. Your room was dark and you could see the city lights outside, spreading out like a sea of stars. Your shoulder hurt still sometimes but fortunately nothing had been broken and after it had been “relocated” it had healed quite nicely, plus the small scratch that you had gotten from the knife as it had been held on your throat.
Loki was standing in the doorway, staring at you. His presence had gone completely unnoticed from you because he was wearing that black suit of his again and it was almost like a camouflage in the dark room and you could not even see his reflection on the window glass. He kept battling with himself whether he should come to talk with you or not. He knew that everybody thought that he hated you but it was not so, no, not at all. Sure you were colorful and loud sometimes and it had irritated him in the beginning but then he had noticed how your cheerfulness brought balance to the life in the Avengers Tower and he started to appreciate you.
He had first thought that you were a fool, they had fools in the court in Asgard and they were not held in such high value as you were but then he had understood that your role was so much more than to be a mascot or a clown. You always listened to the worries of your friends and cheered them up even during the times when it seemed to be impossible. However what no one had noticed was that your smile had been fake most of the times after the attack but no one had really sat you down and asked “how are YOU?”
Loki thought that it was unfair. You were there for everybody else, all the time, but now no one was there for you when you needed it the most. He encouraged his mind and walked to your bed and sat on the edge of it. You were deep in your thoughts, facing away from him and did not even notice the slight shift in the mattress. Actually you had noticed but you were too tired to care. It was your evening off and whatever anyone wanted, it could wait. Then you felt a strong yet gentle hand on your knee. You sighed as you gathered all of your remaining energy to conjure a smile on your face but then you heard a soft voice saying
- No need for that, pet.
It was Loki. He had only rarely spoken to you and when he had, he had never spoken to you so softly as he now did. The smile left you face and you hugged a pillow tighter. Loki shifted his hand on your shoulder as he moved to sit closer. The touch of his hand was much more comforting than you had ever imagined. It surprised you with gentleness. It made you actually feel so calm that you were sure that if he asked you anything, you would share your darkest feelings and secrets with him gladly.
- I can see behind the smile. he said but for some reason you did not get offended or threatened from that notion. In a way you had hoped that someone would see behind it and notice you and somehow it made sense that the only person who saw behind your smile was the god of mischief and lies.
- I have never seen anyone dying. you said with a weak, silent tone and started to sob. Loki had never heard you like that and it was almost complete opposite to the person you always were or tried to be.
- It is alright, pet. I am here. Loki said and rubbed your shoulder with gentle, circular movements until you fell asleep. For some reason he had been the one who come to you when you needed a friend. Loki then lifted an armchair next to your bed and moved to sit there so he could attend you in case of any kind of need. You slept quite peacefully until early morning. When you woke up, you felt a little bit lighter somehow, almost as if you had shared a part of your grief with someone.
The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes that it was well past breakfast time and you were still in your bed. You had never gotten late from work but now you were definitely late. You turned on your back and stared at the ceiling as your heart rate got more rapid and color left your cheeks. You turned your head and saw Loki sleeping in the chair next to your bed. Then you remembered him comforting you and sitting on the edge of your bed while you had cried. “How embarrassing” you thought and got out from bed. You went into the bathroom and stared at your reflection on the mirror. There were faint black lines on your cheek and you quickly washed them when you heard that Loki was waking up.
- Come to bed. Loki said because he suspected that you were exhausted, he was right but you could not just take a day off. He had stood up and was currently standing at the doorway to your private bathroom. You had not bothered to close the door since your sole purpose was only to quickly wash your face and then get on with your day. You jumped a little as you almost bumped into the tall god.
- What you saw yesterday… please don’t- you said as you turned to face the man who standing in front of you firmly as wall. You were about to continue by asking him to keep it for himself and not to tell anyone but before you managed to finish your sentence, he said
- No, of course not. he said and examined your face that was now turned downwards as you stared at the floor.
- Good. you said and lifted your head, looked at him for a moment with a sad and tired look on your face and then put on your smile as you passed Loki and left your private space. The days slipped away and you noticed Loki constantly seeking your company and to be honest you grew fond of his company. He sometimes even made you laugh and it made everyone quite surprised. You started to feel more comfortable with him and even dared to joke at his expense.
You however assumed that he saw you as his little sister like everybody always did and therefore you did not even dare to imagine anything more about your friendship. You were completely puzzled when Loki called you his pet and you did not understand what it meant. You always thought that it meant something similar to “child” but you never dared to ask him what he meant with it.
Loki was getting frustrated. He had now known you for almost a year, and half of it as your friend, and he was getting along with you famously. However every time he managed to seek private audience with you, you always left before he managed to navigate the conversation into anything more personal and every time, when he got lost into your eyes and you into his, you always ran away. The truth was that Loki had a crush on you and he liked you more than he most likely should. Knowing that he was the prince of Asgard and one day had to return to his realm was the thing that shadowed his mind.
He knew that he could not take you with him because you were a mortal and your life was in Midgard but he hoped that he would come up with a solution that would work for you both. But first he had to talk with Thor about his feelings. Sure he had had some disagreements in the past but he was still his brother and Loki trusted Thor’s opinion more than anyone else’s. Then finally one evening Loki managed to get some alone-time with Thor and asked him casually as a part of a casual conversation
- What do you think about (Y/N)?
- (Y/N)? I am quite fond of her. She is like my little sister. Thor answered and laughed at his little brothers amusing question.
- But she is not our little sister. She is a fine young woman, is she not? Loki asked. Thor stopped laughing and stared at Loki with a curious look on his face.
- Wait a moment, little brother… he said and started to laugh again. Loki groaned and left the conversation.
He had to talk to you immediately and this time he would say what he needed to and get on with it. He found you arguing with Stark about your annual holiday. You were supposed to have a month of paid holiday but there had been so much going on that it had been postponed and now it was late autumn again. You were angry that you had been promised to have time off during summer but that promise had been forgotten.
- Fine, your holiday starts today. Stark stated. He looked very annoyed and he did not really care what you had agreed during spring.
- What am I supposed to do now-huh? You are giving me no time to plan anything-
- It is not really my problem, is it? Stark smirked and kept munching on blueberries.
- Well, maybe you should then find yourself a new chef. you answered with an angry tone.
- Yes, because you’re fired-
- No… I quit! you shouted and stormed into the elevator. You passed Loki and paid no attention to him whatsoever. He looked at you and then Stark with a confused look on his face and then decided to have that talk with you anyway. He waited for the elevator and rubbed his hands against each other nervously. Finally the elevator arrived and he walked, pushed the button to get to the floor where you were residing.
Loki heard you groaning as you were emptying your closets or more like throwing every piece of clothing you owned onto the floor. He did not dare to disturb you immediately because he suspected that you would just maybe shout at him and then he possibly would start shouting at you and to be honest, that was the last thing he wanted to do. You had taken your suitcase that you had brought from the storage into your room many months ago when you had thought that you would actually get to travel during your summer holiday.
- Yeah! My summer holiday, you asshole! you shouted at Stark although you knew that there was no way that he could have heard you. At some point you had been sad that you did not really own anything but clothes since Stark had provided you the furniture and you were living in the tower like it was a dorm, sharing the kitchen facilities and so on, but now you were just happy that you did not have too much to pack.
- Are you going on a trip? Loki asked when he opened the door into your room and saw you sitting on the floor next to a pile of clothes, your suitcase open and all the closets emptied.
- Oh, Loki… I am moving out. you said and stopped packing for a moment. Loki walked further into your room but kept his distance. You breathed in and out very deeply a couple of times, stood up and then continued
- That fucker-
- Stark? Loki asked.
- Yes, Stark, promised me that I’ll get to travel during my summer holiday but then he “forgot” it and now it is almost winter and he grants me the pleasure of going on a holiday now but what the hell am I going on a holiday now when the summer is actually gone! you said and turned to look at Loki. He kept staring at you, listening to you carefully.
- But I got fired and then I quit and now I must go and I have no place to go with such a short notice but I cannot stay here and it is all just so stupid… Stark is being stupid! And I liked my job but I cannot stay here anymore if no one respects me and keep the promises that they mak-
- Shhh… Loki said and pressed his finger on your lips. You stopped talking immediately but also stopped breathing although you had not been really breathing because you were only talking too much and too fast.
- Breathe. he said and removed his finger. You gasped for air and mumbled
- Sorry, it is not really your problem.
- But there is summer somewhere-
- But I cannot go, can’t you see? you stated with a defeated tone.
- Why? Loki asked. He hated to see you like this.
- Because I need to start looking for another job and an apartment to stay. I mean I can live in a hotel for a week or a month but then… What then? you asked and your voice started to sound desperate again.
- Well, I am afraid I do not have the answers you seek but listen to me-
- Yeah my situation is basically f-
- My dearest pet… Where is that woman who finds the silver lining from every cloud? Where is the smile I love so? The laughter… Loki spoke with soft, deep, calm tone but there was an undertone of sorrow in his voice.
- No, you do not love my laughter or my smile… you tolerate them for some reason. you said. At that moment everything felt like a lie; everything, even Loki’s friendship.
- It is not so. he assured you. He had never spoken about his feelings to you or anyone but somehow he believed that you knew, somewhere deep down. Maybe you did not even realize it yourself or maybe you were afraid of getting hurt… but he was sure that you knew. He surely hoped that you did because the other option just did not do. He could not bear the thought of you not believing that he… loved you.
You shook your head. Sure Loki’s attitude towards you had changed from the beginning but it did not matter because you had to leave everything behind. You looked heartbroken and tired and it had been very cruel of Stark to forget or more like ignore your holiday like he had. You had been there for the Avengers constantly and the summer holiday had been the only thing that you had wanted for yourself.
Loki could sense that you were very uncertain about your future and you felt completely alone. You did not even have to say it aloud. He saw the desperation in your eyes, like your world had just crumbled into small bits and pieces.
- Darling, my dearest… Do not be afraid. I will keep you safe. Loki assured you.
- What? you whispered. You could not believe your ears.
- If you’ll leave this place, I will not stay either. I will follow you anywhere, my lady… my pet… my love. You are not alone. Loki continued.
Your gaze had been drifting around the room that had been yours for quite some time, but now you focused your attention to Loki who had walked quite close to you. It was quite strange how the presence of Loki made you feel calm and slightly less hopeless. You just wanted to hug him for that. Therefore you closed the remaining distance between you and wrapped your arms around him. Loki was surprised for your action but right after he had recoiled from the small shock, he wrapped his arms around you, kissed your forehead and whispered against your skin
- This is your time to step out from the sidelines and start living your own life. I would be delighted and very honored to share that life, if you’ll just allow me.
You had never talked about your feelings to anyone but the truth was that you had had a crush on Loki from the first moment you had seen him. You had though that he hated you and you had pushed your feelings aside, like you always did, but then he had been the one who had showed you support when you had needed it the most. That had been the moment when you had fallen for him although you had not admitted it to yourself, mostly because you had been so afraid that he was thinking about you as his little sister like everybody else did.
You had noticed the moments when Loki had had something important to tell you or he had almost kissed you but you had always ran away or someone else had interrupted the moment. In a way you had not been ready, not before this moment. You pulled back just a little and raised your head. His eyes met yours and it felt like time had stopped. Loki smiled a little, closed his eyes and leaned closer. Your worries melted instantly as you felt the lips of the trickster god himself on yours. Caressing them gently, promising you that your life was going to be wonderful now that it really began. You followed Loki’s actions and encouraged your mind to kiss him and let him kiss you more deeply and possessively. You had never kissed anyone the way you kissed Loki and no one had ever kissed you with such dedication.
Suddenly you heard Stark shouting from the doorway
- You’ll get your job back!
Would you keep your old job and continue living the life as you had lived it for some years now or would you leave with Loki and head towards the unknown?