chapter 3
Chapter 3
Bucky’s pov~
It was around 11 pm when I made my way down to (y/n) room with a small box of pills that would prep her body for the rise in dosage in the upcoming days, Nat and Clint were off on missions so this potential new team member was left up to me especially with her track record for flying of the rails, hydra had trained me to react quickly to dangerous situations but with months of rehabilitation Steve now could trust me to handle (y/n) tactfully without killing her, not that I complained, (y/n) fascinated me, she had so much power yet she felt so defenceless against things she could probably destroy without flinching, the records s.h.e.i.l.d gave us only tracked her back 6 months ago, she had blacked out in Colorado and caused quite as scene, luckily no one died but it certainly grabbed their attention.
I knocked at her door, no answer, I knocked again and waited, still nothing I squeezed the handle slightly and tilted the door open I could hear her breathing, gasping for air, I walked further in the room it was too dark to fully see but (y/n) was muttering things between breaths ‘please not me’, ‘not me’, ‘I don’t want this’, she sounded like she was weeping, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw (y/n) on her bed curled up in a ball rocking “(y/n)!?”
I ran and knelt on her bed and shook her wildly trying to wake her up but she continued murmuring getting louder and louder the more I persisted to wake her up, “(y/n) wake up your dreaming!” I yelled, ‘just kill me, just kill me’ she was full blown screaming now,
I shook her violently one more time and finally she woke up, hot tears rolling down her cheeks she pulled her knees up to her chest, “what where am I,, I don’t know where I am please don’t hurt me again,, please” she whimpered through gasping breaths.
“Whoa whoa (y/n) calm down you’re okay, you’re in New York, its Bucky remember me?” I rested my arm on her shoulder shushing her trying to get her to slow her breathing, she lent her head forward leaning on my chest silently crying clutching my flesh arm tight,
“Hydra’s going to find me” “they’re going to kill me” “oh god, oh god” “I can’t be in new York not again, not again”
My body stiffened at the mention of hydra, how did (y/n) know about them? Better yet why would they be coming for her? I pulled her head up to face me but her eyes were screwed shut in attempt to stop crying “(y/n) look at me no one is going to hurt you I swear, your safe here”
As she looked at me her eyes no longer had their usual green shine they had a red haze and were misty, “(y/n) why would hydra come for you?” I whispered but she shook her head and buried it in her hands “I can’t” she cried.
Seeing (y/n) like this, so fragile so different from her seemingly strong willed self before, sent shivers through me, I knew first-hand how ruthless hydra could be, I pulled her close and she buried her head into my neck muffling her sobs, I stroked her hair over and over sensing her breathing steady but her heart was still hammering in chest I told her she was safe and everything was going to be okay, I asked her where she grew up, where she wanted to travel and so on to distract her it eventually worked and after a few hours of talking she fell asleep in my arms, I didn’t want to risk waking her and it’s not like I slept most nights anyway so I stayed awake memorising the details of her peaceful face, wondering what the hell hydra could of done to her.
Lil time skip to the morning ~~~
Your pov~
Sunlight streamed in the room waking you up your eyes were puffy and your chest felt heavy with tiredness, something was different though, someone’s hand was stroking mindless patterns on the small of your back, not any hand a cold metal one, you realised that your head wasn’t resting on your pillow, it was on Bucky’s chest, that’s when images from last night came flooding back to you, the dream, hydra, everything you feared most. what’s worse is that Bucky saw it all you hardly knew him yet he’d witnessed the after effects of the horror you had endured for years, and actually managed to calm you down, normally you’d sit up for hours replaying your nightmare until dawn.
You slowly slid your head upwards to look at Bucky his gaze was already on you “your awake” he said a hint of surprise in his voice, you noticed his hand had fallen back to his side, he was sitting slightly upright leaning up against the headboard legs on top of the duvet while you remained under it with your head still on his chest, you sat up and pulled a blanket around you embarrassedly, you had forgotten you had only fallen asleep earlier that night with an oversized stark industries shirt, you would need to find some clothes of your own soon rather than later, Steve hadn’t thought to take any of yours when they took you from your apartment. “I uhm I’m sorry about__”
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault I went through a similar thing once” Bucky interrupted, “(y/n) it’s not your fault, whatever hydra did to you or made you do, none of its your fault but you need to tell me what’s going on so we can protect you…” he spoke firmly,
“What did you mean, you went through I similar thing once?” you questioned, something flickered in him, a look of sorrow and pain mixed with something else, you recognised it strongly…
“I used to be an assassin, for hydra, they made me into a super soldier like Steve and tortured me for a very long time, I couldn’t escape because they made me a monster who only knew orders, I killed so many people (y/n) I never wanted to do any of it and if it wasn’t for Steve I would still be brainwashed but he made me remember and I owe him everything for that, (y/n) I’m telling you this because I want you to trust the fact we can help you if you let us.”
You stared at him, he was hydra, or used to be… you now knew why you recognised him, that tortured look that flickered in his eyes when he spoke was the same look you would see in the mirror after your nightmares, it was the look of regret and terror, you hated how the fear of hydra consumed you.
“I was their experiment. kidnapped because of my blood type or gene pool or whatever, hydra needed a certain type of person for their tests and I happened to be one of those… they shot my family, they took me to different facilities torturing me for months at a time before starting trials, injecting me with things, to prevent me dying from the relentless mental and physical torture I was forced to have more injections and serums to speed up my healing process, which to hydra was just a good excuse to hurt me some more… they wanted to experiment the limitations of humans when an inhuman ability was forced upon them – me, by some fucked up miracle I didn’t die, it sure felt like it though,” You looked down at your hands not wanting to say the next part,
“they made me do things Bucky, horrible things, for 5 years I was their god dam puppet. About a year ago, something went down in DC and a lot of hydra was destroyed before they could move me to another base I saw my chance and took it, I’ve been running ever since.”
Bucky looked at you hard in silence a look of pain washing over his features momentarily “you deserved better than this” his flesh hand brushed over yours making your fingers tingle from the unknown sensation,
“your safe here (y/n) I promise you.” he stood up without a word his expression unreadable, held his hand out to you helping you up, “we should go to breakfast.” you smiled “I’d like that”.
At breakfast tony was sat opposite you giving you a playful grin, Steve had placed himself next to you every now and again asking you if you needed anything, you assured him you was fine. The two agents Natasha and Clint had returned from a mission they were loud and friendly, Natasha offered to help train you, refusing to take no for an answer.
Dr banner was quietly at the end of the table eating cereal and writing stuff down, occasionally looking up to ask you questions about your health, diet and medical history, which didn’t bother you, you picked at the fruit salad you had been given, grateful for the food, you hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning after all.
Bucky was sat opposite Steve, his eyes focused on his breakfast with animal like determination, you were grateful he didn’t bring up your past with the others, something between you and this stranger had changed, you knew the darkest parts of each other, you had both been through such awful things, you had never felt close to anyone before, but with him it was different, you felt safe... after breakfast you went to wash and get changed into some clothes Natasha had lent you, then you was instructed to meet Steve in the gym for your first fight session. Maybe this could be a fresh start you thought to yourself.