Forgetting
“You’re telling me there’s nothing?” Bucky paced through the briefing room while he nervously ran his hand through his hair. It had been nearly three weeks and there was no sign of where should could be. They weren’t able to get into any of the new Hydra databases anymore even with the codes from Natasha’s data dump. They had moved everything to new servers in new locations, it would be impossible to find.
Bucky had barely slept since Iris had been taken by Hydra and it was starting to show. Even when pure exhaustion caused him to collapse on the couch, nightmares filled with images of Iris being tortured, raped, even killed, filled his minds. He had no idea how long it would be until they found her and it was tearing him up inside.
“Calm down frosty,” Stark began. “I am just as anxious to get her back as you are.” Tony wasn’t lying, he missed Iris whether it be her snarky attitude or just the way she made everyone, especially Bucky, a little more lighthearted.
“Keep working Stark.” Bucky didn’t stop pacing for a second. “Please, please be okay.” Bucky then whispered under his breath, inaudible to anyone else but him. However, deep inside he knew his wishes were hopeless.
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Iris didn’t know how long she had been with Hydra. There were no windows, no clocks, nothing to tell the time. Each time she was taken from her room she fought back less, unable to muster the energy or face the consequences she quickly found out about. It only took her one attempt to run down the endless hallways, all equally colorless, monotonous and grungy as her room, to be caught after a few hopeless minutes. After she spent the next hours in a metal room being beaten to a pulp. She never tried to run again.
The military men would come everyday, or at least what she thought was everyday, to first bring her to a doctor’s room with somewhat questionable hygiene standards to be given an injection. Every time it made her dizzy and ache; additionally, causing her to vomit, sometimes even before she was dragged to whatever destination was next. After around ten injections Rumlow told her they were to thin out her bones, making them lighter. Iris didn’t exactly understand what he meant by that but didn’t really feel the need to know more.
After her injections they would force her through a lengthy session of rigorous training routines, usually involving running or combat with some of the military men. Often others would watch, mostly during the combat sessions. They would jeer and yell at her as she tried her best to take out the massive smirking men they put in front of her. A few times she was able to win a fight but as the injections became more frequent and her poor excuse for food became less she began to learn to take punches rather than throw them.
Between training, the injections and her sleepless nights made painful either by aching muscles, Rumlow or the nightmares, Iris was strapped down into a contraption which she could only explain as a torture device. Each time they would clasp her wrists, chest and ankles into metal cuffs attached to the metal chair before shoving a chemical tasting plastic bite into her mouth. Then came down the metal bands around her head. The first time they started the machine Iris passed out. The electricity blew through her brain, causing her entire body to spasm then and for hours after. It took at least until the next training session that she would stop twitching.
Day after day the same process. A rough awakening, if she had even been asleep, dragged to the doctors, check up on her metallic back, injections, pain, nausea, vomiting, dragged to track, running, more vomiting, more running, fighting, more pain, dragged to the chair, electricity, more pain, dragged back to room, dinner, loosely worded for a bowl of foul smelling soup, abuse from Rumlow, and another sleepless night.
The days blurred into each other, the metal in her back stopped hurting more than a dull ache. Dragging turned to walking in between the military men until she was no longer able to stand and had to be carried. By the time the injections stopped she no longer remembered how she got here. By the time she went back on the surgery table she no longer remembered who she as before Hydra. By the time she looked in the same dirty mirror to watch a pair of metal wings spread from her back she no longer remembered her name.