From The Beginning To The End

Iris’ POV

Iris screwed her eyes shut as a dim light shined through her lids. Her arms and legs were cramping up as her body was weighed down by its own weight. Although Iris felt unnaturally cold, beads of sweat formed on her brow. Phantom pains shot through her feverish body. Iris let out a short groan.

After her eyes adjusted to the light beyond her eye lids she opened them slightly. Allowing herself a few more seconds to readjust, Iris blinked a few times.

She was in a small, yet cozy room. A bookshelf sat on one side of the room and a single painting adorned the opposite wall. The walls were a deep navy color which complimented the floor which was a dark, mahogany type wood. Sun was filtering in from a small window set on the wall across from where she lay. A thin curtain was blocking out the majority of the light. Next to the window was a wooden door which matched the floors. After looking down she saw she was on a comfortable, yet not too soft bed. Iris’ body was surrounded by a thin layer of white fabric.

Iris heard shuffling besides her bed and instantly went into fight or flight mode. She attempted to get up only to be greeted with a rush of nausea along with a pounding headache. She felt he stomach churn as her vision faltered.

A strong arm grabbed her shoulder, not in a rough way but more protective. Iris’ vision was hazy and she couldn’t quite make out who was standing above her. She struggled as the person pushed her lightly down into the bed.

“Stop.” The person said in a deep voice. Now we know it’s a guy, fuck. Iris panicked as images of the previous night flooded back to her. The last thing she remembered was Martinez’s sweaty hands touching her as the rest of her memories were scattered and fuzzy.

“Please don’t hurt me.” Iris attempted to speak but her voice came out as a coarse whisper. He was pushing her down into the mattress without much force as her body was weak. Iris still tried to struggle into a seated position but her strength was quickly fading.

After a few more seconds Iris gave up. Hopefully I’ll pass out sooner this time. Iris screwed her eyes shut again, turning her face into the white pillow praying that she could somehow magically melt into the bed.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” The soft yet powerful grip on her shoulder loosened. Iris began to feel something flutter in the pit of her stomach, she felt as though she recognized the voice.

After a few seconds, Iris felt her body returning to as normal as it could get in her physical state. Nausea still raged in her stomach as well as cold flashes that chilled her to her aching bones.

She pried open her eyes, getting what she thought was her first look at her captor. It wasn’t.

Staring back into her eyes were a pair of cerulean orbs. Iris felt her heart skip a beat, maybe even two.

“Bucky?” She whispered. Tears began to glisten in her eyes. Don’t cry. Oh shit. Do. Not. Cry. Iris forced most of the tears back into her eyes but a few still managed to roll down her bruised cheek.

Bucky reached forward with his flesh hand to brush the tears away. Before she realized that it was a kind gesture, Iris recoiled, pulling herself back into the headboard. You idiot! Iris mentally slapped herself.

Bucky drew his hand back, his facial expression unwavering.

There were a few seconds of silence exchanged between the two until Iris spoke out.

“Where am I?” She questioned, voice still raspy.

“Steve’s apartment.” Bucky responded bluntly.

“Steve?” Iris was confused. The name sounded familiar but she couldn’t quite place her finger on it.

“Steve Rogers.” Bucky crossed his mostly covered metal arm over his real one. Iris was amazed by the intricacy of the fingers alones. The digits were constructed of many small plates of some sort of silver metal. They curled just like a normal hand would. She wanted to ask how he got the arm but she knew that was an inappropriate question for this time and place.

“The name rings a bell but I still have no idea who you are talking about.”

“Captain America.” Iris felt her breath hitch. I’m in Captain America’s fucking apartment? In his bed? Shit. Iris decided the best course of action would be to ask questions until eventually she wore Bucky out and he left. She also needed time to get her strength as her body was still aching.

“Um…Okay. Well then, how did I get here?” Iris couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I brought you here.” Bucky continued to loom over the bed with no visible intention of leaving.

“Why?”

“You were being attacked.” Iris felt her heart beat a little faster as a few more horrifying memories of the previous night resurfaced. However, the memory of Bucky pulling the disgusting man off of your weakened body returned as well which gave Iris a sense of comfort.

“And how did you know that?”

“I followed you.” Iris felt a bit of panic rising in her chest, or it could’ve just been the withdrawal. Why would a man, no an Avenger, like Bucky follow me? What does he want?

“Why?”

“Will you ever stop asking me questions?” Iris felt a slight tinge of fear at Bucky’s harshness but also a sense of hope. She was wearing him down.

“If you get me a glass of water, maybe. My throat is killing me.” Iris couldn’t help but glance over at the closed window across from her. If I can get to that, and it isn’t too far down, I can maybe escape. Shit, that’s a lot of ifs.

“If you are thinking of running away, don’t” Iris felt her heart sink. Bucky knew.

“Well there goes my master plan.” Iris announced, there was no point in hiding it any more.

“Even if you managed to escape, you wouldn’t make it far anyway.” Iris felt her heart pounding in her chest. Was he threatening her?

“Well thanks for the compliment, asshole.” Iris was trying to keep up her strong front. Bucky blinked, taking in her words.

“Why were you at that apartment?” Bucky asked. He moved towards the bed and Iris tensed up. He sat on the edge, the firm mattress sinking under his weight. Half of Iris wanted to get up and run away from the super soldier but the other half wanted to pull him closer. He was drawing her mind in like a moth to a flame and Iris couldn’t tell why.

“Well you tell me why you were there, stalker.” Iris felt her breath rattling in her lungs. Oh God I need a cigarette.

“I already said, I was following you.”

“Why though?” Bucky didn’t respond. Iris let out a sigh.

“Fine, I’ll tell you why I was there. I needed a fix. There you are, happy?” Iris continued. Bucky seemed to be taken aback by her harsh words.

“I saw what happened. Why would you do that to yourself?” Iris felt her heart skip for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Vomit rose in her throat. Oh shit, not now Iris. Keep it together. Iris swallowed.

“Why would you care?” Iris was slightly shocked by the venom in her own voice. She couldn’t help but be harsh, she used it as a coping mechanism in her crazy, fucked up life.

“Just answer me.” Bucky seemed to be genuinely concerned. Even with his tough exterior Iris could see in his eyes that he was just like her, broken inside.

“I don’t know.” But Iris was lying to herself. She did know, she just never told anyone. Bucky saw straight through her.

“You do know, tell me.” Bucky unfurled his arms and let them hang onto the bed. He was sitting juts inches away from her feet which were tucked under the blanket.

“I’m an addict.”

“Well, I can see that. Stop lying, you are hurting no one but yourself by keeping it all in.”

“I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours.”

“Okay.” Iris was taken aback by his answer. She expected him to give her a blank stare and go silent once more.

“Fine.” Iris stuttered, unsure of where to start. She had never told anyone about her past, well except for Alex who was now as good as dead to her so he didn’t count.

“Where do you want me to start?” Iris continued.
“From the beginning.”

“To the end?”

“Sure.” Bucky moved closer towards her legs to get more comfortable. Once again, her heart raced. Oh calm down you little piece of shit. Iris mentally rolled her eyes at her heart, however stupid it may have been.

“Well, I guess my life was fucked up the moment I was born. I was a mistake, a drunken one.” Iris felt her breath hitch, she didn’t want to share this with anyone, much less a complete stranger. However, Iris felt pulled towards this stranger more than she had ever been to anyone else. Iris looked towards Bucky for confirmation. Bucky nodded.

“As I grew up my dad hated me. He never wanted me. Every night he’d come home piss ass drunk. Usually he’d crash on the couch. Sometimes, he would become, well, physical. Whether it be with my mother or me.”

Iris felt tears rise to her eyes once more. Just the memories of her childhood, if you could even call it that, were painful. She noticed the sheets being pulled at slightly as she noticed Bucky’s metal fist clenching them. Iris took in a deep, raspy breath before continuing

“After I turned 12 my mom decided she had had enough. She hung herself in the closet only to have me find her lifeless body. She has been my only family. My dad got worse after that. He began venting all his frustrations out on me, both verbally and physically.” Iris’ breath hitched again. Bucky seemed to get more tense.

“You don’t need to continue, Iris.” Bucky announced. He looked furious.

“No, it’s okay.” Iris took in a few more shaky breaths, continuing to hold in tears.

“If you need to stop, stop.” Bucky reached out to rub her leg through the sheets. It was completely comforting and not one bit suggestive. That didn’t stop her from tensing up at his touch. Bucky recoiled but Iris grabbed his arm.

“It’s okay.” Bucky stared at her eyes before he moved his flesh hand back to her calf. He massaged it in a calming fashion. After a few seconds, Iris felt more composed.

“As I got older he wouldn’t even come home at night.” Iris continued. “I was glad for that. Soon missing nights became days which then became weeks. Once time he was gone for an entire week. I was 16 so I could take care of myself and the moments alone I cherished. We had lived our entire life on food stamps and unemployment benefits. I would steal the occasional thing just to keep us going. One night I was watching TV when my dad who had been missing for nearly a week stumbled in drunk. Along with him were a group of four equally wasted men. I was young and weak; I didn’t stand a chance.” Iris couldn’t stop the tears anymore. Bucky’s grip on her calf tightened.

“After they…had their way with me. I knew I need to get out. I wasn’t going to take the cowardly route like my mother had, although it did seem like the best option at the moment. Instead I packed my bag that night while the five men were passed out on the couch. The next morning, I was alone in New York with no where to go. I slept in Subway stops and park benches for months, freezing in the winter and sweating the summer. I learnt the hard way how to protect myself from all sorts of people from common muggers to rapists to gang members. I learnt how to break into places and steal. A little over a year later I was asleep under a tree in some park I didn’t know the name of when a scrawny boy, no older than me came stumbling through. He was dressed in ragged clothes but he looked clean enough. Little did I know that this boy would save me.”

“Alex?” Bucky’s grip had lightened from her leg and he continued to rub it in comforting patterns.

“Yeah. I could trust him, well did trust him.” Bucky’s grip tightened again but only for a second. He saw what happened. Iris had no idea how much he knew but it was enough.

“Well, it turned out he was high out of his mind. He offered me something I can’t remember the name of and that’s where my downward spiral began. We crashed in abandoned buildings until we stole enough to buy a shitty apartment. By 18 I was a full blown drug addict that would shoot up anything I could get my hands on. The two of us got in some deep shit with dealers around town. We were just kids. After a few months most of the debt was cleared away and we were relatively sober as we couldn’t afford anything. That didn’t last long though. Alex soon found a surefire way to make fast money, which to this day I don’t know what it was. We blew it all on drugs. Sure enough he found himself in deep shit again and I had to do things I regret to get my fix.” Iris was on the verge of tears again. Everything inside her wanted to stop but she felt like she could trust the man at the edge of the bed.

“After a few years I find myself hooked on almost every known substance with almost no drug dealers wanting to deal to me anymore because of my relationship with Alex. I didn’t leave him though, he saved me, although I wouldn’t quite call my life “saved.” However, I did have one dealer. His name was Martinez.” The name caught in her throat. She tried to hide it with a cough but Bucky noticed.

“Was that him?” Bucky was referring to the previous night.

“Yeah.” Iris didn’t know what else to say. She gave up on trying to hold back tears. Iris never had told her life story to anyone. Even with Alex she had omitted things and stretched the information over a few years.

“I’ll kill him myself then. I’ll kill all of them, including Alex.” Bucky was almost growling. Iris didn’t think him to be protective to someone he didn’t even know but then again she had feelings for him which she didn’t understand.

Bucky moved his hand from its grip around her leg and reached out to her cheek one more time and this time Iris didn’t flinch. She allowed Bucky to wipe off a few stray tears with his real hand. She wanted to feel his armor plated one but didn’t want to pressure him.

“Be my guest.” Iris wanted them all dead, more than anything. She felt a pang of regret for Alex but it quickly faded as she remembered what he did.

“Now tell me your story.” Iris asked curiously.

“Not now.”

“Are you serious?” Iris felt slight twinge of disappointment along with a bit of anger. “I just poured my heart out and you wont give me anything in return?”

“It will be for another time, if there ever is one.” Iris felt scared at the thought of never seeing Bucky again. Although she barely knew him, she couldn’t imagine.

“You can’t just do that!” Iris attempted to get up but pain ripped through her, causing a groan to escape from her lips as she fell back into the bed.

“I just did. Now I’m going to take you to a doctor and get you fixed up.” Bucky stood up and pulled back the blankets only to have his cheeks tint red. Iris was only wearing her jeans and a black bra.

“Like what you see?” Iris muttered, frustrated but enjoying Bucky’s embarrassment as he turned away. Iris managed to prop herself up onto some pillows. Bucky continued to look away.

“I forgot.” Bucky stammered.

This guy must never have seen a pair of boobs in his life. I mean, I’m still wearing a bra.

“I’ll get you a shirt.” Bucky muttered, walking towards a chest of drawers she had failed to notice earlier. He opened a few drawers until he found what he needed. Bucky pulled out a plain, grey shirt. He tossed it behind him. It landed right in front of Iris.

“Nice aim.” Iris laughed as she picked up the shirt. As she pulled it over her head she smelled a slight musk, not as strong as Bucky’s though. It was almost more, floral? Who knew Captain America smelled so feminine. Iris laughed at the thought. The shirt was a little tall for her but not too much as she was already lengthier than average. It was the width of the arms and chest that got her. It was obviously built for a super soldier’s body.

“You done?” Bucky asked in a slightly rough voice.

“Sure am, asshole.” Iris smirked to herself. That’s what I’m calling him from now on.

Bucky turned around and walked towards the bed. Iris crossed her arms as he moved towards her.

“There is no way you are carrying me.” Iris wanted nothing more than to be in his firm arms but she wanted to look strong.

“You can’t even stand. Much less walk.” Bucky looked down at Iris. She stared back in defiance.

“Oh you bet I can.” Iris pushed herself off of the bed while her entire body protested. Her legs were shaking as cold flashed through her bones causing them to ache. Her head pounded against the inside of her skull. Iris’ vision began to fade, Stay strong.

Iris took one step before collapsing to the floor. However, the floor never came. Within a second a pair of mismatched arms was underneath her, supporting her weight. He lifted her from the floor bridal style for what felt like the thousandth time. She tried to calm her racing heart, not wanting Bucky to be able to tell.

The cold of the metal appendage seeped through the thin, oversized shirt she was borrowing but it felt nice. Although she felt chills she knew her skin was baking with fever.

“Sure you can walk.” Bucky smirked looking down at Iris who lay in his arms.

For Iris the room was spinning a thousand miles an hour. Whether it was her situation or her withdrawal, she didn’t know. It most likely was a little bit of both.

After pushing through a few doors and moving down a set of stairs Iris found herself shielding her eyes from a bright sun. Bucky looked back down at her. Once her eyes adjusted and her vision returned to normal she saw that Bucky was bringing her to an expensive looking black car. The window rolled down and there was none other than Captain America sitting in the front seat.

Steve opened the door to the back of the car from the front seat. As Bucky placed Iris down on the seat she struggled to sit up. With a little help from Bucky she got into a seated position.

“So when will I be getting my motorbike back?” Steve asked out of the blue as he started up the car.

“Probably never.” Iris responded. It had most likely been stolen already.

“And is that my shirt?” Steve questioned again, merging with some traffic.

“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” Iris tilted as her head continued to spin, leaning on Bucky’s his metal arm. Bucky looked down in surprise. Steve just sighed.

“I guess I’ll just get a new bike and a shirt. Just don’t steal anything else, alright?” Steve was talking in a joking manner but Iris still felt a little guilty. She had stolen from the most righteous man on earth. Steve must have noticed her dismay because he continued with:

“Don’t sweat it, I have a billionaire at my disposal.” Steve laughed it off.

Iris stared blankly out the window for the rest of the ride.