“Please turn the TV back on,” Wanda said, not turning to look at Steve, “they were being very specific.”
Steve just shook his head, even though he knew she couldn’t see him. “I can’t let you just sit here and blame yourself.”
“I killed those people,” she said, sharp hurt present in her voice. “Those people are dead because of me.”
“I’m to blame, too,” Steve said. “Rumlow said--”
“It’s on me!” Steve flinched at the sudden rise in her voice. Wanda looked down, away from Steve.
“Wanda, you don’t have to bear the burden on your own.”
“You don’t understand, Steve.” Wanda’s voice was quiet now, fractured. She looked up again, and Steve saw his reflection in the tears that glossed over her eyes. “Those headlines and newspeople were talking about how people are afraid of me now, they have every right to be.”
Steve opened his mouth to object once more- really, it hurt to see her endure such failure on the first mission like this, but he decided to shut up for once. It would be better for him to validate how she felt and be a supportive shoulder to cry on.
“Why do you say that?” he asked.
A tear now fell down Wanda’s cheek. “Ever since Ultron… I think I’m getting punished for betraying what our parents taught us. Pietro and I both.” She walked up from her bed and to her dresser, which was decorated with candles, trinkets from her fellow Avengers, photos from the distant and not-too-distant past, and a Magen David. She picked up a worn old photo and looked at it fondly. The photo captured a moment of Wanda’s childhood with Pietro, no older than six years old at the time. They sat at a table with their parents behind them, and a menorah before them, with three lit candles on it. Everyone was visibly happy.
“Before our parents died, Pietro and I were raised to love everyone as God loves us.” She turned to hand the photo to Steve. “And after they died, we soon realized that.... That family was all that we ever had, and all that we would ever have at that point forward.
“We celebrated the holidays together, Pietro and I, and took those moments as a reminder of God’s love for us, like our parents taught us. We took care of each other.” Wanda sat back on the bed next to Steve. “But when we got older, we grew bitter and hateful. Hateful of Stark, hateful of you all. And we let Ultron take advantage of that hate and now we’re bearing the consequences of that…”
Wanda broke down into a sob, her head in her hands. Steve rubbed a sympathetic hand on her back. “Pietro’s gone, and I don’t have anymore family. This year will be my first Chanukah without Pietro.” She reached for a tissue from the box on her nightstand and wiped her eyes. She had to take a few moments to even out her breathing again. “I’m very thankful that you all have forgiven me for what I’ve done, and that I have a home here now but… The pain is too fresh. Natasha can tell me a funny joke and I think, ‘Pietro would love this, I should tell him!’ And then I remember he’s not here anymore and I’m sad. Do you not understand what that is like?”
“I do kinda know what that is like.”
Wanda looked up at Steve with widened eyes. It was the first time she really looked at him since he walked in the room.
“Excuse me when I say this but, when I was your age,” Steve started, and they both chuckled a little, “all I had was my best friend Bucky. We fought in World War Two together, but his fight ended when he fell off a train when we were on a mission.”
“I’m so sorry…”
“But the thing is, by some miracle, Bucky’s still out there, and while Sam and I have been looking for him, I know he’s out there. And hopefully we’ll be able to pick things up where we left off. So I can’t say I truly know how you’re feeling.”
“It’s okay,” Wanda said. “You have felt my pain at one point.”
“Would you feel a bit better with a hug?”
“I would love that.” And then Wanda fell into Steve’s arms, and they both tightly held onto each other for a few seconds.
“I know we can’t live up to the times you and your family had,” Steve said, “but if you wanted, we can celebrate the holidays with you, and we can make wonderful memories together.”
That put a smile on Wanda’s face. “Thanks for listening, Steve.”