James Buchanan Barnes is an enigma. He is a mystery wrapped up in a conundrum then tied with a little bow of brainwashing. All in all, he is PTSD ridden super soldier, stuck out of time and thrown into a madhouse. A madhouse, of course, being the Avengers tower. There are many things he doesn’t know about this new millennium, and his shiny new self-proclaimed family has decided it is time to learn. James wanted a little time to clear his head, but that is obviously not going to happen.
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The Five Times Bucky Discovered Something Amazing
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Food.
When Bucky was a kid it was hard for him to imagine one meal a day, let alone three with snacks in between. Growing up in the depression left a lot of people homeless, hungry and may be even orphaned. When he was little, he did his best to not only provide for him, but for the asthmatic dumbass who he somehow ended up with as his best friend. As it turns out, a lot of things can change in just a few months, just like how the little punk had gone to big hunk in a five minute Vita-Ray tanning bed.
The first time Bucky had ever gotten three full(ish) meals was when he joined the army. Now that's not saying much, Army food is the original airplane food. He had loved it. Now staring at the chaos in front of him, he wasn’t quite sure what to do.
The kitchen looked like a bomb had been set off. A thin layer of flour covered everything, but the island was where the real action was. It was covered in egg shells and yolk. This left everything just sticky enough so that everything that touched it would stick, even people, which in a matter of fact, what Hawkeye was doing right now.
“Tasha! Have Mercy!” The blonde squirmed trying to escape. The other Russian assassin looked bored. She looked at her nails ignoring him, but Bucky saw the slight upturn of her lips. She noticed him standing in the doorway.
“он тупица” (T: He’s a Dumbass) She says. Bucky stares blankly at her for a minute before looking once again at the ex-carnie and nodding. She holds out a cup of coffee and he steps forward hesitantly and grabs the cup. She taps the counter next to her and he obliges. They sit there a few minutes in silence, watching Clint curse and struggle. All was well until he heard a scream.
It was a very manly scream, but a scream none the less. Bucky dropped his mug and his were instantly on his hips, groping to find his holsters. His normally clear brown eyes shattered letting the winter leak through.
He stepped forward, a hand stopped him. He followed it up to the face it belonged to. A soft sigh.
“один, два , три, без обязательств на меня.” (T: One, Two, Three, No Strings on Me.) Her song froze him. He leaned once again on the counter and Natasha handed him another cup of coffee, before sighing into her own.
Sam just blinked, shook his head and turned his horror/rage on his helpless bird bro.
“How in all he-” He cut off looking out the door for Steve. “How in all hell did you do this?! I was gone for five minutes. Five!”
“I was just trying to make pancakes….” He put on his best pitiful face.
Sam looked at Natasha.
“He ambushed,” Bucky bristled at the word. “me while I was trying to get coffee.”
Sam nodded carefully and sighing, hanging his head. “Can I have some too?” She offered him a glass and they all stood there listening to Clint complain for five more minutes.
Bruce poked his head in, upon seeing the mess a breathy “Oh dear…” escaped his lips and he looked at Natasha who shrugged.
“He deserved it.” He nodded.
Sam had begun washing the counters and washing the dishes, skillfully avoiding all eye contact with both Barton and the mess on the kitchen table.
Bruce settled his eyes on Bucky. “I have something I want to show you, Steve assured me that you would like it.” Bucky set his glass down and followed the good doctor out the kitchen door, not bothering to look back.
Steve had been right, he did like it. Upon the highest floor (The sniper’s perch) Invisible to all who would harm it was a greenhouse. It was small and had been built over the hole the where the portal in the battle of New York had sat. Inside was small and neat, Bruce unlocked the door and gestured for him to look around. There were little plots of a little bit of everything. Bruce smiled softly as Bucky poked around and turned to look at the doctor.
“Tony and I built this because I like to feel self-sufficient. All the food they waste down there makes me sick…” He trailed off. “I thought you might like it too, it gives you something to do and the responsibility to care for something.” Bucky nods.
“Thank you,”
Bruce smiles.
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It doesn’t surprise him, when Steve stumbles into Bucky’s room after hearing a loud crash, to see the ex-hydra agent looking sheepishly at the shelf in his closet that collapsed under the sheer weight of all of his stockpiled canned food.
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2.) Gender Norms
When Bucky was a kid, women were in charge of the house. They did the laundry, cleaned the house, took care of the kids, and almost never had super important jobs. He never liked it, the women were pushovers (except Peggy Carter, God bless her soul) and the men were the ones that pushed them. Bucky was becoming increasingly aware of how that's not how it works in the 21st Century. The leading reasons for this were Natasha and Sam.
When he had first moved into the tower two months ago, he had been silent, always observing. This is when he discovered the true power of the Black Widow. He watched as Tony’s interns groveled before her, he watched how a single bat of an eyelash and she could get into anywhere. No one was immune, even Steve blushed when she poked at him. He had seen hints and swatches of this power, but the first time it was ever used to its full extent was at a board meeting. Steve had been invited, to go in Tony’s stead and Bucky was bored and Sam was out of town. Five minutes late, Natasha Romanov walked in wearing a pencil skirt and a long sleeve shirt that was unbuttoned far enough to make Steve cringe. She set her pile down at the head of the table and straightened her cuffs.
“Ms. Potts cannot make it today and nominated me to come in her stead.”
An older board member stood up, scattering papers. “What the hell! Could that Woman (He said it like a swear word) pick a more incompetent person?”
There were gasps. Natasha just brushed off her skirt, clearly very intent on ignoring him and moving on. The meeting continued to flow smoothly, Natasha clicking through slides and explaining each in great detail. Half way through the meeting things began to go downhill again.
Natasha had gotten up to go to the bathroom as one of the other board members presented, whispering to Steve to take notes for her. Just as she was about to step out the door, the man struck again.
“That's right, go back to the kitchen where you belong. No man will ever love you with that attitude.” He Hissed. Steve’s chair squeaked as he stood up quickly, obvious rage painted on his face. Natasha spoke in Russian and Bucky gently pulled his friend back into his chair, whispering “She has a plan, go with it.”
The room was dead silent as she came to stand behind the Asshole, leaning on his chair. The presentation had stopped in the wake of the man (Who was now beginning to fear for his life)’s words.
“There are a few things I would like to remind you of, all of you. I have two masters degrees, one in delegation and one in business. I would also like to remind you that I am an accomplished agent S.H.I.E.L.D, meaning that I can hide more than a few weapons under business attire. I am probably more than double your age, being born 1928 and with age comes experience. There are also two super soldiers here, one of which being Captain America. In conclusion, in this day and age, women do not belong to men, and we can do what we can accomplish.”
Silence.
Steve grinned, and not a good grin, an if-you-dare-fuck-with-her-one-more-time-you-will-pay kind of grin. Bucky matched suit. Natasha sashayed towards the door.
“Bitch….” The man muttered. Natasha spun around on her heels, Black Widow smile is sewn to her face. She looked at Steve and Bucky.
“Boys, would you escort this man out, you see, I would, but I don’t want to get blood on my new shirt,”
Steve grinned genuinely this time. “With pleasure.” He was behind the man in an instant, Bucky on his other side as they dragged him out. He swore and kicked and squirmed. As he passed her she bent to whisper.
“If I ever see you here again, I can guarantee, you will lose all sense of dignity you ever had and maybe your life.” He went limp and Steve chuckled. She turned back to the board room.
“Now where were we?”
Sam was a different story. Every morning after his run with Steve (Sam usually dropped out after about 10 miles.) he would walk into the kitchen to find Sam wearing an apron, dancing around the kitchen to his own voice, making breakfast. Later he would find him doing the team’s laundry, or straightening the living room, always moving and always cleaning. It wasn’t after a few weeks without Sam when he realized how much they all relied on him. By the time he got back, everything was in such disrepair he almost cried. He only sighed when he realized that everyone was out of clean laundry and began his “jobs” once again, all the while muttering about superheroes and their inability to do anything but make messes. After the time he spent in this tower, he shouldn’t be surprised by much.
To be completely honest, over the last few months, Bucky had walked in on a lot of strange things. Things like two Assassins playing distraction, hulk petting a cat and too many times on Tony and Pepper. He shivered at the thought. But this definitely made the top ten. He had been talking to Natasha in Russian amicably, until what he saw stopped him in his tracks.
There spread out across the living room, were swaths of cloth, balls of yarn, needles of all kinds and perhaps the strangest assortment of people he had ever seen. There was a man made of rocks, three blue people, a man in a wheelchair, Bruce, Sam, Steve, Clint, Thor, 4 other mutants, a woman floating on a cloud, a man with wings and many others. There was a table at the center filled with random food items and they all appeared to be talking and having a good time.
Natasha leaned against the door frame.
“Its that time of the month again…”
“What?”
“Time for the monthly Stitch & Bitch.”
That is when Bucky heard it.
“I am sick and tired of Tony hoarding all of the sugary foods in this house, even if Natasha won’t let me eat them, I’d still try to sneak them.”
Murmurs of agreement.
“Hey! At least you don’t have to deal with Spidey constantly stealing your ammo.”
“Wade, only you have that problem.”
“It's still a legitimate problem!”
Eye rolls across the board.
The man in the wheelchair looked up unexpectedly and looked straight into Bucky’s eyes (Soul).
“Brainwashing turns a maze into a labyrinth. Join us.”
He smiled kindly and Natasha pushed him forward. All eyes in the room snapped to him.
“Yeah, come on man! You have the most shit of all of us to complain about, and if you can’t find it in you, please tell us some embarrassing Steve stories.” Clint patted the ground next to him, where he was working on a Black Widow quilt square.
It was silent as he sat down, Thor handed him a needle and thread and pushed the box of scraps his way. (The Avengers boys are working on a quilt for movie night.)
As soon as he began, the complaints came back.
“Man, I am so done with tripping over Mjolnir.” Laughs echoed from everywhere.
Bucky looked up, Steve was smiling at him. He held up his square. Grey with a red star.
He smiled.
The woman on the cloud just pretended to gag. “You two are sooooo oblivious.”
Only then did he realize she was the only girl in the room.
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3.) Steve
It began after dinner, five months after Bucky joined them. At this point in time, everyone was sufficiently drunk, excluding only those who couldn’t (Super soldiers and Demigods) and Nat, who did not even seemed phased, even after her seventh shot of vodka. It had been Clint who started it.
“Bucky, I am so glad you’re here… I was getting sick of watching Sam fuss over Wonderboy every time he did something stupid.”
Bucky quirked a brow. “Oh, like what?”
The Avengers looked at him gaping.
“You mean you don’t know?” Clint asked carefully.
“Know about what?”
“He doesn’t!” Tony’s cat smile grows on his face. “Where should we start?”
Bucky twitches. “At the beginning.”
Clint whirls around to Natasha. “You first! We’ll go clockwise!”
“Well, first he jumped out of a plane without a parachute.”
“Then got in a fight with a god.”
“There was the one time with Parkour….”
“And the time he got shot.”
“That one time when DareDevil captured him.”
“And ran into that burning building…”
“When he used his shield as a sled.”
“Touched something in MY lab.”
“There was that other time he jumped off the roof…”
“And the other time he almost got blown up.”
“Don’t forget when he flew that plane into the ocean!”
All the while the team was listing his past reckless behavior, Steve stared straight ahead, blush getting continually darker and using all his will power to not collapse under Bucky’s ever growing glare.
Once the last team mate babbled off, they began watching the two. Bucky was flexing his metal hand and tapping his other fingers on his knee, his glower almost suffocating.
Steve had begun to sweat.
You could cut the tension with a knife.
“Is all of this true?” His voice was terse.
Steve looked at the floor and began rubbing his neck before swooping his glance to look at his best friend. “Maybe…” He muttered weakly.
With this Bucky stood up and began pacing. “I did not keep you alive all of those years, just to be reckless and get yourself killed!” Steve looked at the ground and Bucky ran his hands through his hair. “God dammit Steve!” He paced like a caged animal until he stopped. In a very quiet voice, he said.
“Do you know what it would do to me if I lost you too? You’re all I have left.”
In two seconds flat, Steve was hugging him.
“Sorry…”
Bucky sighed and patted his best friend (Cringe), “Yeah, I know you’re never gonna stop, so…”
He was cut off.
“Until the end of the line….”
He nodded.
Natasha picked up the Vodka bottle and chugged it, muttering something about “Not being drunk enough for this.”
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4.) Vigilantes
Bucky honestly thought that the Avengers were the only supers in town. That was until he met the Fantastic four. Then the X-Men. But after that, no one else.
But nooo, Just when Bucky starts to make sense of things, the 21st century slaps him back into place.
Who are you kidding Bucky, of course, there is someone else.
It was Bucky’s third mission after getting his clearance from S.H.I.E.L.D. It was a pop-up disaster (Those seemed to happen every ten minutes in New York), Bucky was the last resort and seeing as though, Pepper and Tony were away on their honeymoon, Thor was off planet and Clint and Natasha were away on a mission, that left Steve, Sam, Bruce, himself and the five boroughs of New York that needed protection from an army robotic tortoises. Which wouldn’t be all that scary, if they didn’t have lasers and
bombs.
Bucky had been assigned, Queens. He fought long and hard and when the battle was done, he tried to get home. Emphasis on tried. Queens was not Brooklyn. Everyone sounded different and the layout baffled him. It was like he was on another planet, not twenty minutes away from home. So after an hour of wandering aimlessly around, he finally gave up, deciding that being lost was better than trying to ask for help. (Note: His comm was broken during battle.)
There was a swishing sound and the a soft landing from behind him. Guns were out instantly (Night Night guns mind you) pointing at the figure clothed in red and blue spandex.
“Whoa, there buddy…” The person put their hands up, watching him. It wasn’t until he noticed the arm he understood. “Hey, you’re Bucky Barnes! Whatcha doin’ up here in Queens?”
“Robotic tortoises.”
“Dang it! I thought I was finally going to be put on the Avengers roster.” The small man (Kid???) peered around him and whistled at seeing the damage on the street.
“Looks like I’m going to get a talkin’ to from JJJ again tomorrow.” He sighed and looked down before looking back at Bucky. “The names Spider-Man and I’m guessing the reason you stuck around so long is because you’re lost.”
Bucky scowled. “What's it to you?”
The guy put his hands up in defense. “Hey now, no need to get your knickers in a twist, I was just going to offer you a ride home.”
“A ride? On what?”
“My Spidey cycle duh. So are you in or no?”
“Yes.”
This is when Bucky discover how horrifying driving up glass buildings was.
The next time he saw a flash of red was in Hell’s Kitchen. All he had to do was follow the sounds of angry Russian Screaming. In the midst of what looked like a gang fight, fought a man in red, wearing devil horns and he was fighting with a stick, just a stick. Bucky watched from the shadows as the man took down each person with one effective blow.
Once they were all lying on the ground, he panted in the moonlight. “I know you’re there, What would you like Mr. Barnes?”
Bucky was taken aback, he had been silent.
“I can hear your heartbeat and your arm.” The man murmured.
Bucky quirked a brow but shrugged. “I was told to come and tell you that Clint needs our help with his Tracksuit Mafia, apparently they’ve gone Russian.”
The man rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“If it's Russian, why not involve the Widow?”
“Apparently, you know the Mob better, but really I think it's because he’ll get scolded and then a severe training session.”
The man chuckles. He folds up his billy club and sticks it in the holster on his leg. He stuck out a hand and Bucky shook it.
“The names DareDevil, Let's go save Hawkeye’s Ass.”
The next time Bucky sees Spider-Kid, He comes crashing through a window. Literally. It was a dinner time too. Just to add a cherry on top, in his arms he held a girl. The girl also appeared to be wearing a super suit. All eyes were on him, Everyone in a ready stance, but he was only looking at Bucky.
“You owe me a favour.”
Bucky looked at the girl in his arms.
“This is Ms. Marvel, I was helping her out, but then Doc Ock and the Inventor teamed up and….” He babbled on looking at the girl in his arms. “I didn’t have the supplies I would need to fix her, her healing factors good, but not that good.”
Silence.
“Come on kid, I guess I do kind of owe you, let's get her fixed.” Bucky and Spider-Man exited the room, leaving the team in stunned silence.
When the girl woke up, she was instantly on her feet, obviously ready to confront something. Spider-Man held up his hands defensively. As soon as she saw him she relaxed visibly.
“Where are we?”
“The Avengers tower.”
“WE ARE IN THE AVENGERS TOWER???” She flushed obviously excited. Spider-Man laughed. She stopped confused.
“Why are we here exactly, not that it's not great, but just why?”
“Well… Doc hit you with some stuff meant for me and a then a bomb went off…. Your healing factor wasn’t gonna be good enough, so I called in a favour.”
This is when Bucky stepped in. “Hey there doll, had to let Spidey get you something for that.” He gestured to all of her. Her jaw dropped.
“You’re Bucky Barnes! You’re legendary! I always wanted to meet you!” Spidey laughed again.
“I found him in a back alley and gave him a ride home.” She giggled. Spider-Man continued. “So I gave you some antiserum and a bunch of IV bags, you have stitches right here.” He traced the bandage around her middle and up her shoulder. “So no Heroing for a few days. I can cover Jersey City for a few days, get lots of rest and I have a note for you to give to Queen Medusa.”
The girl raised her eyebrows “A note?”
“Don’t give me that! DareDevil writes notes for me to give Jones and Cage!” She laughed at him.
“You…” She gasped with mirth. “Get notes! Hahahaha!”
“Hey, I’m still older than you!”
“By like two years! Plus I’m bigger!” The girl began to glow and grow until she was ten feet tall.
Spider-Man put his hands on his hips. “Haha. So funny. Are you ready to go? If you want to be home by the time your parents check on you so we should leave now. It's 4:45.”
“Holy Crap! Yeah, let’s go! We can break in and explore later!” She shrank to the size of a bug and climbed up on to Spider Man’s hand. She stopped and looked up at Bucky. “Thanks, I owe you! Next time you need fashion advice, call me!” She then climbed all the way up to Spider Man’s shoulder and he webbed her there.
“Ready to go?”
“Yep.”
He blinked and they were gone leaving yet another broken window and some webs in their wake.
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5.) Rights
Bucky knew that a lot had gone down in the civil and legal rights department since he was a kid. He saw it when kids of all colours poured out of schools together. He saw it in when he and Steve gave a speech on memorial day. All of the suits, colours and genders got mixed up in the huge crowd, but that didn’t stop him from noticing. It wasn’t until one day when he was out for a jog with Natasha, he noticed the most important (to him anyway) change of all. They had been taking a break, not that they needed one when Bucky had noticed the strangest thing.
A little girl had fallen off of her swing and had begun crying. This was normal.
A man swooped down and scooped her up in a hug, holding her tight to his chest. Bucky watched as he plopped down next to another man on a bench nearby. They sat very close and he watched as the man that had already been on the bench take the little girl into his arms.
The little girl called him papa, and she called the other man daddy.
The strangest part of all was when they both kissed the little girl and then each other. Bucky quirked a brow. The little girl had sat there looking positively jovial.
On each of the men’s left hands were matching gold wedding rings.
Natasha studied him as he watched their interaction. “That's a thing now.” She said quietly.
Bucky snapped his attention to her. “What?”
“Gay marriage. It’s a thing now, it’s legal and for the most part accepted.”
“Huh… Never thought that would happen.” He leaned on the light post they had been standing by.
Natasha rolled her eyes. “You know, you could have that too.”
His eyes narrowed. “What do ya mean?”
“Good God! Anybody with eyes can tell you have the hots for Steve.” With that, she took off.
“Hey! HEY! GET BACK HERE!” He set off after her.
He didn’t catch her until the next time she stopped.
They both panted.
“What….” Breathes “What do you mean…”
She steadied herself and got back to normal. “I mean you obviously know you’ve had the hots for your bestie for a long time.”
“So? He’ll never like me that way.”
“That's where you’re wrong.”
His voice dropped an octave. “What?”
“He may have loved you for even longer.” With that, she took off again.
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The One Time Steve Did
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6.) Bucky
Steve was going crazy. He paced his room. Bucky. God, he loved him. He loved the way he and Natasha would tease each other in Russian, the way his hair looked when he let Clint braid it, the way he walked across the pages of Steve’s sketchbook. He loved everything about him. It was killing him from the inside.
Steve never backed down from a fight, even the ones he was obviously going to lose. But this time, it was too much. This time, he was going to have to lay low. He cringed, There was no way in Hell…. Aw dammit! Let's just get this over with. Steve pulled on some sweatpants and walked out into the hallway before he could change his mind. He barreled through Bucky’s bedroom door and was greeted by a sight he was not expecting.
Bucky was wearing his hair in a bun and an oversized sweater. He was curled up under the quilt that they had made for family movie night. He was reading a book, as soon as Steve came busting through the door, Bucky just looked bored.
“I figured you would come by soon, I could hear you wearing a hole into the carpet.”
Steve walked forward and got onto the bed, sitting next to his best friend and crush.
“What are you reading?” Bucky levels a look at him before he sets his book down and sits up staring at him.
“I know you didn’t come to make small talk. What do you really want?”
Steve was beginning to sweat. His eyes darted around the room until they finally rested on his friend's face.
“Don’t even say it.” Bucky’s lips crashed onto his own.
At first, Steve was surprised, but then he melted into it. He ran his hands through the brunette’s hair. He moaned onto his lips. Bucky smiled.
When they did finally break apart, it didn’t last long. Cold metal on warm skin.
The final step in Bucky’s recovery was complete and so was he.
They were never going back.
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When the two did not appear for breakfast the next morning Sam yelled triumphantly and high-fived Natasha. Clint muttered something under his breath about cheating and Tony took out his wallet and counting bills.
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