Chapter 3
There were more incidents of course, like the time Sam was making breakfast and the toaster had gone off. Bucky jumped and all but killed the other man when he tried to calm him down.
"WHOA WHOA MAN ITS OKAY!" Sam shouted, waving his butter knife rather like a serial killer's, which was probably a mistake.
"What happened?!" Steve appeared a second later, and noticing the toaster, promptly threw his shield.
"Damn thing didn't work right anyway. Always burnt the bread," he muttered before leading Bucky by the arm to his room. Sam just shook his head and continued to cook.
"Breakfast'll be ready in twenty if either of you still want any," he shouted loud enough for them to hear.
~
"Oh come the fuck on, really," Steve cursed. "It's fine Stevie, let's just keep walking," Bucky said, trying to shove the heavier man forward. "No no," Steve said, "I'm fighting this."
"You fight everything!"
Bucky watched helplessly as Steve proceeded to alternate between punching the wall and hitting it with his shield.
"I HATE BUCKY BARNES" was visible in bright paint across the brick wall that separated Stark Towers from a field.
"Really Tony?" Steve plopped the last surviving brick from the wall onto his desk.
"Barnes like my present?" Tony asked innocently. "Fuck you."
~
One day, Bucky had finally had enough of Steve's stupid shit.
"YOU CAN'T SAVE ME FROM MYSELF STEVE! Okay? I'm not worth all this," Bucky finally shouted, slamming his metal hand down on a table, which naturally splintered in half.
"To me you are," Steve said icily, kicking the pieces of the table over easily as he made his way over. "To me you are the only I have left, and I'll be damned if I let you fall again. In any sense of the word. You've been on your own for too long Buck. Let me help you," he pleaded.
He met his eyes, but instead of responding, Bucky merely straightened up the surviving legs of the table and disappeared into his room, closing the door with a gentle, but definite click of the lock.
Steve sighed, and made a phone call.
~
Nat's voice on the other end was every bit as exasperated as usual, if not more so. "You can't be serious, Cap, you said it yourself, she's just a kid."
"I'm running out of options, I don't know what to do," he said, checking his watch. Someone was supposed to meet him soon.
"Does Barnes know you're doing this? That you're asking for this?"
He didn't answer, and she sighed on the other end of the line. "He might not want this. Is that what you want out of this?"
~
"I know what you're thinking," Wanda said, using her power to stir her coffee with the spoon.
"There's a shock," Steve said, eyes downcast to avoid her gaze.
"I can't help him, Captain. He's damaged, too damaged." "You got Tony to see his worst fear, I don't see why you can't do the opposite. Bucky's already seen the worst."
"So you think," she said simply, sipping from her cup.
~
"Sergeant Barnes, it's Dr. Banner." A soft knock followed. He stood at the door, looking through the peephole into the dark apartment.
It opened slightly, and a face appeared in the narrow opening. "My name is Bucky," he said, opening the door wider to let the man pass.
"I was on the roof the other night, for the party. "Mmhmm," the other man said, sitting with his face in his hands on the couch. "It's not your fault you know. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you or what you did."
"Forgive me if I have trouble believing you," Bucky said, "I've killed more people than the amount of hair on your head."
Banner ignored him. "I know what it's like to be forced to do things you don't want to do, and what it's like to not remember anything when it happens. It's okay." Bucky played with his hands. "Steve thinks he can save me. Truth is, I think I'm passed all that."
"Then why haven't you done anything about that?"
Bucky's head snapped up. "I - I can't do that. Steve and I have lost each other once, I'm not going through that again. I'm not gonna put him through that."
"You didn't deny having thought about it." Banner mused. "I used to be like you, thought I was too dangerous; and everyone else was better off without me."
"What did you do?"
Banner laughed without humor. "Well, I swallowed a bullet, but the other guy spit it out. Again. And again. And again. After a while, I stopped. I didn't have to be the monster people saw me as anymore. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy Bucky. They think I am a monster, therefore, I show them the monster. Then I started trying to help people, do the right thing. Do I still get the looks, the fear? Yes. But I don't let that stop me. Because the people I care about don't even think about that part of me. And neither do yours."
"I don't have many people who care about me anymore," Bucky said with his head down, hair covering his face. "One and the same, Buck, one and the same," Banner said, getting up and patting him on the back.
He was almost out of the door when he turned back and said, "Don't give him such a hard time just because you've given up on yourself. I know I didn't know him the way you do, but I've fought alongside him enough to know that he doesn't give up on anything."
Bucky smirked. "Has he hit you with the whole 'I could do this all day' yet?"